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| Rev. V.V. McCoy, President World Vision Enterprise P.O. Box 3292 Jackson, TN 38303-3292 |
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| Step One: Breakdown of Communication |
| Of all the various steps in the breakdown or breaking apart of a marriage (family), the first one has to be the "breakdown of communication". So long as a marriage (husband and wife) or family (husband, wife and children) unit can sit down together and talk things over, there are great possibilities of bringing healings to any and all problems. As the Lord said in Isaiah 1:18, "Come now, and let us reason together..." |
| There is Great Power in Communication |
| The God of all the earth came down in the cool of the day to talk things over with the first man and wife. By the voice of God, Himself, he had joined them together--the two became as one flesh. To our knowledge, they weren't having problems between themselves, but having sinned against God, the close fellowship they had enjoyed heretofore with their God was somewhat marred. But God's call to them marks His love and compassion for them. To be sure, He is our example for good always. What I do believe to be Problem No. 1, that has and could lead to serious problems between Man and Wife: the simple differences of opinion in (for the most part) small matters. These should never lead to serious problems, but so often does simply by lack of communication. When genuine effort to find a means of communication is lacking, even the simplest of aggravations or annoyances quickly escalates into more serious matters. This is so often caused by the spirit of self-will. One person says, "I will never speak to him (or her) again!" It is then that things begin to snowball. To get things going in the right direction again, one or the other must begin to realize just how serious it is to put asunder what God has joined together. Stop and think: "Just what is going to happen to my marriage if I don't do something to correct these very important matters (and do it NOW!). It is not easy, by any means, to take the initative and start the snowball melting so it can be moved and cast into the sea. But for sure, it is next to the greatest step one has ever taken. So why not Jane call him up at once and just be plain about it. We are too smart, Bill, to act so foolishly. "Just remember, Bill, our first love? How we said till death do us part? Just think, Bill, how happy we were, and so far as I am concerned, we can be that happy again! So just come on over to my house, Billy Boy, and we will bury the hatchet--handle and all." |
| If A Family Cannot Receive the Power to Communicate This Will Immediately Follow... |
| What almost always immediately follows a flare up of emotions and harsh words between a husband and his wife is that they will not have marital relations. This can quickly escalate into a lack of feeling toward one another, or a rapid lessening of desire for each other. This is unscriptural to begin with. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Genesis 1:28 (bold is mine) The Word of God tells us in Hebrews 13:4 that Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled... |
| All of Mankind is Headed For Trouble When We Break God's Law |
| The purpose of this study (lesson) is to help do my little part to make life here on Earth more like the Word of God teaches all of us. By doing so, man and wife will not only live together, but will be happy doing so. So may I suggest to you at this time that the best way ever is to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and be saved. But someone is going to say immediately, that many who are saved are having serious problems. This includes many preachers, deacons and their wives--separating and even divorcing. What about them? It is truly difficult to believe nowadays what all is going on in the name of religion. But God has said, and what He has said must come to pass. But oh, forbid that it would be fulfilled in us! That is the fact we would cease to follow on: to know the truth and the truth shall make us free! |
| A Hint To The Wise Is Sufficient |
| We must make sure we are right, according to His Word and then go ahead. We, as God's people, must put Him first, and our families second and lean not to our own understanding. My God, please help us all is my prayer. Amen! Many of us fail or fall short by making too quick a decision. We must take time to count the cost. Many marriages have been saved by neither party acting too quickly. Take time for Christian counsel: Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellers there is safety. Proverbs 11:14. |
| A Little Child Shall Lead Them |
| Many times the prayer of a child is answered. God loves the little children. "O Dear Lord, please hlep Mother and Dad not to talk too loud to each other. And Dear Lord, You know I love them both so very much. I want You, Dear Lord, to help them to get along better and love each other like they used to do. Please now, Lord, we need Your help. Don't let them separate like they have been talking about. I just don't know what would become of little brother and me if they do. Would You please help us, O Lord? Amen." |
| When These Things Fail, Worse Things Follow |
| Separation is the third step. Many times, children are involved. There is nothing that comes closer to the heart of a child than his or her parents. So many times when a mother and dad separate, one or the other goes to another state to live. When this happens, brothers and sisters don't see each other for months...sometimes never again. |
| Not Just The Immediate Family Is Affected At This Point! |
| Everyone connected to that family unit is involved, affected, by now. Parents, Grandparents, even aunts and uncles who were close to the unit. As you can easily see, this sort of thing is very serious indeed. More importantly, God's laws have been broken. Individuals, families, communities, churches, even nations, suffer when God is left out of our lives! Time is running out for this family at this point. The only ones, the only proper ones to get it going in the right direction again are the main parties involved: the man and wife. At this point in all the proceedings and maneuvers, it is now or never. One or the other must make that first step! So make that phone call and start the mountain moving. While the first love has been left, it is not lost, for sure! True love covers a multitude of grievances, if just one will take the first step. It is certainly worth a try! That old saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is certainly true. There is even more involved than you realize at this point, so if you find yourself in this situation, make that call! Renew those vows! It matters not, whatsoever, whatever has been said or done. Renewing your vows to one another takes on your part--you can forgive each other. God will help you! Remember the patter of little feet and the heart cry of little children. Heaven is pulling for you! Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them. Hebrews 7:25. |
| Step #4 is D-I-V-O-R-C-E |
| It is shocking to listen to the news nowadays. Sources for both sides of the issue of divorce and marriage quote the statistic that at least fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce! We minister weekly to both men and women who are divorced. I do believe some of them made a very quick decision and simply were not joined together by God. If this is true, then it would be possible for one to find his or her right mate and live happily in this world. But for the most part, I believe they are breaking God's laws. We also minister weekly and monthly to young men in state and county institutions that came from broken homes. If there is anything in this world more saddening, I do not wish to ever know of it. We, especially those of us professing to be Christians, must do more to correct this ever-increasing breaking of God's Word. If we do not take the lead for a better world to live in, who will? |
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