Story filed 5-08-05

By Edward Lee Pitts
Military Affairs

CAMP CALDWELL, Iraq -- While thousands of women back home enjoy an afternoon of pampering, it will be business as usual today for the more than 150 women stationed here with the Tennessee-based 278th Regimental Combat Team.

"It will be like the movie 'Groundhog Day' here, where everything's the same," said Sgt. Eileen McAfee, 40, of Clinton, Tenn.

Sgt. McAfee normally spends Mother's Day taking her three children to Chattanooga for an afternoon of planting flowers in the garden of her mother, Gayle Norton.

"It will not even seem like Mother's Day," she said.

Women throughout the base echoed Sgt. McAfee's sentiments.

Many will get up today and go to work in the infirmary, the command center, the supply area, the mailroom and countless administrative offices. And like Sgt. Paris Dix, 31, of Clarksville, Tenn., many women here said this will be their first time away from their children on Mother's Day.

"I am missing a big, soul-food good time," said Sgt. Dix, who would take her son, Myland, to his grandmother's house today for a celebration meal if she weren't thousands of miles from home.

The mothers here said being away for six months has made them appreciate parenthood and regret the moments they will never get back.

"I'm missing my daughter's entire fourth-grade school year," said Staff Sgt. Melissa Maples, 36, of her 10-year-old daughter Kaylin. "The last picture I got of her scared me because she didn't look like my little girl any more. She looked like a little lady."

Staff Sgt. Maples, of Knoxville, said the eight- to nine-hour time zone differences make it hard to stay in touch with Kaylin.

"When she is getting ready to go to school, I'm getting ready to go to bed," said Staff Sgt. Maples, who normally gets served cereal in bed for Mother's Day by her daughter.

Chief Warrant Officer Joyce Simpson, of Athens, Tenn., said her absence from home is twice as painful because Mother's Day this year falls on her 50th birthday. Chief Simpson said she received two packages from her daughter, Jessica, last week, with strict instructions not to open either until Sunday.

Some of the desert-bound moms enjoy time with Iraqi women and children.

Staff Sgt. Michelle Edwards, of Nashville, who has one daughter at home, recently attended a picnic in Khanaqin with a newly formed women's group there.

Women in the 278th are encouraging Iraqi women to get together to share their troubles and challenges. At the picnic, Iraqi women broke ground on a U.S.-funded building for a women's group.

MISSING HUGS

Sgt. Anna Ashton, 22, of Nashville, said the Iraq deployment has made her yearn for her mother after years of not being that close.

"You figure she will always be there," she said. "But over here I can't call when I need her and can't go visit her to give her a hug around the neck."

Spc. Judy Anderson, of Hohenwald, Tenn., said her deployment has forced her 20-year-old daughter, Kathy, to grow up while running affairs on the family's horse farm.

Regrets aside, mothers in the 278th said their roles as both soldiers and mothers are important. They said being in uniform teaches their children respect for their country.

"I'm fostering a very patriotic daughter," said Staff Sgt. Maples. "She tells people to be quiet during the national anthem."

Before deploying here, Lt. Monica Ridenour, 34, of Dandridge, Tenn., wrote each of her three young sons a letter they will read when they're older. She explained the privilege she feels putting on the uniform of an Army officer, and she wrote about the importance of duty and how her serving in Iraq now might mean they won't have to fight later.

"I want them to understand I didn't just leave them, but I chose to do this," said Lt. Ridenour, whose sons are 5, 2 and 1. "It is difficult being away from my kids any day, not just Mother's Day."

COPING

While many said they understand that a military commitment can rip them from their families, it doesn't make the separation any easier.

Sgt. Jennifer Middleton, 46, of Clarksville, Tenn., received her Mother's Day card last week from her two children and immediately went to her room so she could read it and weep in private.

"I should be home," she said with red eyes. "I shouldn't be spending Mother's Day in the desert."

Many soldiers are making plans for mothers, husbands, sons and daughters to be on the phones today trying to bring their voices closer to home.

But Spc. Jon Olinger, 33, of Chattanooga, hopes to skip the long-distance call in favor of some real one-on-one time. Spc. Olinger left Wednesday for 15 days of leave.

He said last week he hoped to surprise his mother by making it home in time for Sunday dinner.

"That would be the ultimate Mother's Day present," he said.

E-mail Lee Pitts at lpitts@timesfreepress.com

On the Web: Photos by U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Russell Lee Klika of the 278th Regimental Combat Team are available on the Times Free Press Web site. Visit http://www.timesfreepress.com/kp.

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