9/10/02
The tune that you are listening is "GIULIO CESARE" by Venditti. - Wonderfull isn`t!!!!
"I tried and tried but the little girl (a girl of about 5y) would not listen...
I asked her to come and sit next to me...
but while she was coming she fell into the mud and dirtied herself...
Then she tried to come and sit next to me but on her way she fell again and broke her knees...
Then she picked up some mud and dropped it on my forehead...
SHE LIKES BIKES ... THOSE BIG, BLACK, HUGE... BIKES
Let me interpret it for you...
The GREAT CHIEF could be someone ready to judge me... may be the priest... may be the Indian lawyer father/son... may be my brother...MAY BE AND most possibly the GREEK STALKER..
who still can`t get it... that I have said no...
Let me tell you what I think he has learned by the puttanella downstairs...
Once upon a time I said at the table,
"I think I want to buy myself a motor byke, I love motor bykes."
My darling brother answered
"No. It is too dangerous. Before you are going to be crushed on a byke, I will kill you myself with my bare two hands... NO BYKES..."
We all laughed at what he said... I had been here in Australia only a couple of years... and I though he spoke out of love for his sister...
No. I didn`t listen to him. I am a free woman. I always believed in my freedom. My father and my mother never stopped me from doing anything in life and neither did any of my three brothers... who had no say while my FATHER WAS ALIFE...
I didn`t buy the motor byke only because I was joking... and I never did like those big, huge motorbykes...
I bought myself a car instead...
However, whoever was speaking in my dream...he was write, for I do like bykes... they have been always my passion...
Sometime later, I bought myself a byke, and I started to learn how to ride it, ... I was bringing it with me at the beach, or at the park... I really enjoyed it...
I fell a couple of times, and I broke my knees... and my mother was yelling all the time... because she said that the bykes was killing me, was breaking my knees...
I never listened to my mother, broken knees and all, I loved my byke...
then one day I stopped riding it because something happened to make me afraid to walk the street of SYDNEY...
I went with my byke to my friend... and when I WAS COMING BACK HOME, around 7.30pm... a man grabbed me from the back, and a minute I was on the floor and him on top of me...
I had not even the time to say "o God help me." for I knew that that was my last minute of life...
Somehow I went completely calm...
he had both hands on my face...
as he realised that I was calm...
he started to take his hands away slowly from my face...
I do not know how I did it... but I never had been calmer in my whole wide life...
so he continued to take his hands off from my face slowly...
When my mouth was completely free, I yelled on top of my voice...
HE GOT SCARED...
HE GRABBED ME BY MY HAIR AND BUMPED MY HEAD ON THE FLOOR, THEN HE PUNCHED ME IN MY EYE...
THEN HE RAN AWAY...
I got up, took my bike and while yelling on top of my voice I went home...
There were people passing by... but nobody stopped... everybody pretended not to hear...
When I arrived home, I said
"I will go to the police..."
My mum said
"No. It will be worst.",
Just throw that miserable byke away...
So for years and years, my byke was left asleep in a room downstairs, until my neighbour`s son saw it and I said
"If you want it, you can take it. I will not use it anymore. I do not want it."
My brother didn`t say anything. They were just sorry for me. It took me a week to have my eye cleared and as for my head there was no real problem.
I think that the GREEK STALKER knows about this story, because the Department of School Education gave it to him, having it read it from my being questioned by their psychologists during my workers compensation case... or he may have heard it from my sister in law dear ... who loves to talk and gossip about her sister in law...
and he is building up a story that would suit him in order to COVER HIMSELF...
for you see (used to say semino), when I went to collect my brother`s documentation from him, meaning when he tried to rape me, it was more or less around that time... give and a month of distance...
GREEK MAN I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN WITH THE WORD "BYKE OR MOTOR BYKE" but WHORE IS ONLY YOUR MOTHER NOT ME... YOU used my brother and told him to put me under siege only because you got shocked when I said
"NO"
to you.
You thought that everybody would fall at your feet, and you got very hurt to think that someone as ugly and as old and as not having noone would possibly say "NO" to you.
You keep on calling me
"a little girl"
but I am no "little girl" and neither I am crazy.
I don`t need to be looked after...
I was a little girl once, but that time is finished...
and if my brother wasn`t able to look after the little girl...
now it is too late...
for the little girl doesn`t exist anymore...
I AM A 52YEAR OLD WOMAN.
I AM AN ACCOUNTANT
I AM A TEACHER
I AM A VERY SUCCESSFULL BUSINESS WOMAN
All this I have done it by myself. As you can see I have left the little girl far behind...
In my quest of growing up, I had no help by my mother, brothers, or father...
I have all the time helped my brothers, I was the one who took them away from trouble... they coming to me... not me to them...
KEEP ON BARKING DOG...
AND TELL THE GRANDE CAPO, THAT THERE ARE TOO MANY INDIANS AND NO CHIEF...
I need to give NO EXPLANATION TO ANYONE... and stop burging in my appointments...
the day will come that you will be stopped.
As for iola/ioletta who helped my brother to chain me... let me tell you how you did...
It was with the same litany that you tell everyone when you go and visit your friend, for you have nothing else to say, do you...
you went to the police with my brother, or to the priest and told them this little story
...Once upon a time there was a father who had a child who wanted a byke. His father said "no" to him because he was only 14years old and he was afraid that he could hurt himself...
The son went to the police, and the police told the boy that he could have his byke...
The boy bought his byke... Eventually he fell and broke his arm...
or leg...
The father went to the police and said... "See what you have done. My son is now in hospital because of you."
SO THE POLICE LIKE PILATE, WASHED THEIR HANDS OF ME. LET THE PATER FAMILIE DO WHAT HE HAS TO DO BECAUSE HE TALKS OUT OF LOVE.
GARBAGE.
AND DOUBLE GARBAGE.
I am a 52years old and not a 14y boy. I am a teacher, an accountant ... and a successfull business woman... without any help from my brothers...
Let me tell you MAGISTRATES how I did it...
When I first came to Australia I had not a penny in my pocket...
I was money hungry...
"I am a builder, buy a piece of land and I will build a house..."
It was the time that the interest rate was 19% with a finance company... all my work was going towards re-payments. But I understood. We could not touch the family man... even though he had promised to help...
Tony did put another $10,000.00,... but then every thing was finished...
NOT BECAUSE I WAS CRAZY.
I have always been in charge of my life.
I never had people looking over my shoulders for the right or the wrong things that I DO.
SHOVE OFF... YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO INTERFERE IN MY LIFE...
IF SOME WRONG THINGS HAPPENED TO ME IT IS SO THAT I CAN LEARN FROM THEM NOT SO THAT YOU CAN SHUT ME INTO A LITTLE ROOM, to make sure that they don`t happen...
YOU ARE STUPID. YOU CANNOT CONTROL MY LIFE, JUST AS MUCH AS YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR DAUGHTER`S LIFE YOU IS ROAMING ALONE AT NIGHT ALL THE TIME, AND JUST AS MUST YOU WERE NOT ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR SON`S LIFE WHEN HE SAID THAT HE WANTS TO GET MARRIED AT THAT AGE AND WITHOUT EDUCATION AND WITHOUT ANY MONEY ... AND WITHOUT ANY FUTURE.
MY WORKER`S COMPENSATION HAS BEEN FOR YOU HIS OPENING DOOR TO HIS FUTURE,
YOU CAN`T BUILD A FUTURE ON ROBBERY AND ASSASSINATION...
YOU SWEET LITTLE ANGELS... who hear the good news, (gossips I mean) with great reverence, and take it so seriously..., (only because it would suit your pocket... not because you do really believe at the lebanese, greek, indian, musulman ballooning...) which is being told by people who like to go for confession, so that they can hide their aberration..., (just know that I am for "REAL THEATER" as Dario Fo says, I believe that the true theater, is the theater of life, the true actors are the people that you meet... every day, everywhere... hence the importance of PUBLIC CONFESSION..., not private so that you can hide yours sins... PUBLIC... so that everyone will get to know if you are saying the truth or not)
that man after two weeks shot himself in front of the Crucifix in the grounds of a certain church.
I guess God must have told him, "Shoot yourself in front of me, so that they can come and clean up the mess that they have created. You are now a zombie, you are useless for life..."
that man was driven to crazyness by his own family, and church and surroundings, I still can hear his words in my ears "my wife doesn`t want me anylonger..." "Remember, that my son is much younger than you. You may be making a mistake..."
She wasn`t making a mistake. She wanted that man so that she could come to Australia, bring her whole family and then study and better herself at the expense of daddy dear...
And once she achieved her education and reached her goal there was no reason of living peacefully with him.
HOW ARE YOU SISTER IN LAW DEAR... HOW ARE YOUR STUDIES GOING? DID YOU BECOME A DOCTOR YET? AND HOW IS YOUR DAUGHTER IN LAW WHO IS SUPPOSED TO GET HER EDUCATION OVER A BOY THAT BARELY REACHED THE AGE OF 20 WHEN HE WAS PRESCRIBED TO BE MARRIED? HOW ARE YOU PRIESTS WHO CAN PRESCRIBE A WOMAN TO BE MARRIED TO A DIVORCEE?
HOW ARE YOU LORD JESUS CHRIST?
ARE YOU STILL SINGING?
ONCE upon a time there was a man who came to my house, he said "I don`t know what to do, my wife doesn`t want me anymore..."
but I still can hear the words of his mother when she was alife
HOW ARE YOU LIQUIDATOR WHO THINKS THAT YOU CAN ENTER MY FAMILY`S LIFE IN SUCH A THOUNDEROUS MANNER?
voglio ubbriacarmi di te vino inebriante
voglio camminare ad occhi chiusi
luce che estasia
voglio cantare d`amore
cuore che trepida
ED ORA CHE TI HO LODATO
MI VUOI PROTEGGERE????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Something old, something new...!!
He was good!!!!
It must have been me!!
Un mondo pieno di ladri !!
...don`t go around grinning...the devil first entices then kills...it is better to be on the side of GOD.!!
you should read this...is so peacefull...
In my dream I saw the string
nylon and finely compact.
The Greek has decided
to call it quits
and get me stretched.
They have tried it once
by his order
It failed because
there was still a bit of order
All is collapsed now
The "DELITTO PERFETTO"
has to be activated
or the Liquidator will loose his face
and that will be highly unappreciated.
When will it be?
Will it be a lebanese
or an indian
to do the deed?
A stooge will be sent
to perform your action.
Stamp your feet, and
break the floor,
I am unmoved, I am still, I am DEAD.
But as dead as I may be
I walk, I talk,
I sing, I love
to haunt you
and your FOLLOWERS
greek junk with the face
soiled of dung...
THE STRING WAS IN THE HAND AND BEING MEASURED BY THE GREEK STOOGE, BUT WHO GETS TO BE SO LUCKY IN PUTTING IT AROUND MY NECK?
"We do not want her dead, otherwise all she have will go to her cousins in Argentina, we have to make sure that she doesn`t kill herself... we have to place her with a good ITALIAN FAMILY and we have to model her up... her brain we mean... to like... SEX AND BE A SEX ADDICT... this is the only way we can walk scott free... and with our face clean..., we`ve go to do this..."
In my dream I heard someone say:
DEPARTMENT OF SCHOOL EDUCATION, I LOVE YOU... DO YOU LOVE ME TOO...