"Days Like This"
Chapter 5
(Danielle POV - two days later)
It's the middle of rehearsal and I have two very expectant eyes bearing into me, well they are only De'Mario's eyes. I have no idea why he wished to watch our first stage rehearsal, he's seen almost every one of our studio-rehearsals. We are performing the same song that we were singing 90 minutes ago, "When A Man Does Wrong", which is so perfect for this situation.
I'm surprised he's actually watching Akilah and Monica sing instead of staring me in the face....
When a man does wrong
Ain't no coming back home
He's been out there too long
She won't even
Talk on the phone
(Settle this, settle this)
His eyes are really starting to bug me, they have barely left me in the past hour and I'm starting to wonder was he born with a bladder at all. He's been here since his rehearsal and that was 4 or 5 hours ago and I haven't once seen him go to the restroom, or anywhere for that matter, but forget him I've got to concentrate on getting every note in the chorus just right.
When a man does wrong
Ain't no coming back home
Can't come around
There ain't no place
She don't wanna
See your face
Damn, I hate I have the first full verse after the chorus, damn, damn, damn...
Said you never
Wanted to hurt me
Never even wanted to leave
Said that you'd
Never desert me
Now you begging me
Please, please, please believe
Now you feeling like a fool
(Fool)
Never thought about me
Just you
Just as I got the last note out our vocal coach Kimm stopped me, "Danielle sing the last three lines again and pick your pause for Crystal's repeat a little sooner and end 'you' with a slight drawn-out drawl. All right?"
I was pretty used to her quick instructions and her simple directions, she was a lot better than other coaches who thought they could do it better than you, "Got'cha."
Now you feeling like a fool
(Fool)
Never thought about me
Just you
Kimm smiled and let us finish the song without any more interruptions, but his eyes never once left me. I danced, I joked with the girls, I even flirted with the band guys and he never once looked away. The moment I walked off stage he approached me.
"Can I at least get a minute to explain myself?" De'Mario said standing in front of me, I have no idea what he's talking about exactly, but I have a feeling I don't want to hear it.
"Fine." I replied crossing my arms, trying to look like I didn't care that with every moment he looked at me every memory we ever had came back to haunt me.
"See, when we were told ya'll were our tour mates I was looking forward to seeing you but apprehensive about bringin up those old -- the past. But the other day when we were under that tree I couldn't help but to think on the past and see it for exactly what it is Danielle. The past -- all those things were years ago, I was a kid, hell we were both kids. It was for the best." He said reaching out to touch my arm but I moved back, finally I understood what he wanted from me, after all these years but I wasn't about to give it to him. He doesn't deserve forgiveness for what HE did.
I sighed and counted to five in my head trying not to yell, I just rehearsed the same songs over and over so I don't need to yell, "Sure it's the past but it was MY future, maybe we were kids but that doesn't make it right. It doesn't mean I have to forget the nights I cried like a baby, it doesn't mean I have to forget the extensive stay in the hospital, hell De'Mario I could have...I could have...died! I can't forget that, especially not when you were the reason it all happened. Forgiving isn't in either of our near futures and neither is forgetting."
He sighed and ran his fingers over his face, "It was an accident Dani you know that."
"Accident my ass, you just needed a way to keep from getting stuck at home instead using that sports scholarship. And that's all I'm going to hear or say...excuse me." I said walking away from him quickly, I hated discussing that, I wish we would've had to tour with someone other than him. Damn, I wish -- I wish I could forgive him.
(Crystal POV )
I was standing next Juan trying not to make it obvious that I was watching Danielle and De'Mario. I wonder what all that was about, she looked like it was something to worry about...but lets get out of her business back to mine.
"What did you say Juan?" I had completely ignored everything he had said, I know I'm being nosey but hell that's my girl.
He smiled and pulled me closer, which he knew I hated him doing especially when I have just came from rehearsal and I'm all sweaty, "I said Ima have to leave early, like tomorrow mornin."
"Tomorrow mornin? Why? Juan that's a week early, we were supposed to spend two whole weeks together!" I whined looking up at him hoping that my puppy eyes could keep him another seven days.
He touched my chin and gave a little smile, "I know baby, I don't want to go but they changed the line up to Nell's tour and pushed rehearsal up a month so I still need time to see my folks."
I didn't care what in the hell Cornell Haynes Jr., I wanted see my boyfriend before I go on tour for two months and hardly talk to him, "Still Juan why?"
Kyjuan smiled and kissed my forehead, "It's called a job Crys you doin yours and I gotta do mine."
"I know Juan, I know I'm just not ready to let you fly back to St.Louis yet." I replied pulling away from him, we were finally getting to the point where I could see what our relationship could be, that last thing I needed was him running off somewhere else.
I'm guessing he saw the despondent look on my face and he kissed my cheek, "Aye boo how 'bout we skip lunch and go to the room for the rest of the day?"
Do I really want to skip the shoot tonight, if I did I'd have to make it up, but my boy is leaving in the morning so I definitely need to spend time with him. "Aiight Ima go tell Livia then I'll meet you up there."
It took me all of five minutes to tell Livia I wouldn't be around anymore today and why then it took me about five more to get to my room. The moment I get up there it's dark with the blinds and curtains closed, candles are sitting all around the floor giving the room a strange starry glow. He had bought two dozen pastel purple Lily's and two dozen white roses and had them on either side of the bed. And finally there he was sitting on me bed, that now had pure white sheets, smiling at me. I almost squealed but I just grinned and climbed on the bed with him.
"So do you think these last couple hours are gonna be nice?" He whispered as I climbed on top of him, straddling his legs.
I kissed him never wanting to let go, "Boy you surprise me every time."
"It's gonna be a nice night Crystal, that I promise." He replied holding my hips, looking at me like he had never seen anything so beautiful. That's what I love about Juan, no matter when or where he sees me he always looks at me like I'm beautiful.
"Too bad it's gotta end." I sighed laying my head on his stomach, giving a loud forlorn sigh.
"Don't think about that, come on lets go take a shower and I might even give you a little back rub afterward." He smiled, rolling me over back on to the bed.
"Really?" I smiled, sounding like a little girl on her birthday, as I lead him into the bathroom.
"Really." He laughed as he closed the door to the bathroom. I don't know if he can sense it but every moment I'm in his presence I fall even more in love with him. He's my heart but can we survive a lengthy long distance period? I dunno.
(Akilah POV )
"Hey girl." Achana said as she sat beside me at the patio table, I'm guessing she's not too hungry either.
"Hey." I replied looking up at her as she sat down.
She crossed her legs, like she always does, "You look like you've got a lot on your mind."
"I do." I replied, the last 2 days hadn't brought any answers to the feeling I felt when I was next to Omari.
"Wanna talk?" She asked looking sincere but I also knew hearing someone else's problems would get her mind off Xavier and his dumb ass.
I nodded my head but hesitated before I spoke, "Have you ever had a feelin that a friend felt more for you than a friend usually does? And you think you might feel the same way they do?"
"Aki, I think everyone has, and it's hard because it's confusing. And it's confusing because you're not quite sure and you scared that it's really just you." She replied looking as if she had done it all before.
"Yea," I agreed shaking my head, "then you want to say something but your afraid to take a risk on your friendship."
"Gotta take risks in this world to really live Aki, gotta take risks, no one can really be happy without taking some kind of risk. Either letting go or grabbing hold." Sometimes I feel like telling her to take her own advice, she's the black Oprah, hehe, I meant the black Dear Abby but she goes through these things with Xavier and NEVER takes her own advice.
"I know Chana, I know, I just can't bring myself to look in those eyes and ask him." I replied looking away at the trees beyond the patio.
"Aki you know as well as I do pain is part of love but if you both love each other why avoid what's destiny?"
"I don't know Chana, I don't know if I could do it."
She stood up as Danielle came outside, "All right Aki, just do whatever lets you sleep you at night."
I don't know what to do, he doesn't know he rocks my world whenever he's around, he doesn't know he makes my insides melt, and he doesn't know that anytime I hear his voice my heart almost jumps out my chest. Somehow I think he feels the same but I'm not sure. Damn, days like this are days to ponder the meaning of love.
Lyrics: "When A Man Does Wrong" - Ashanti (c) 2001
*Chapter 6
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