"I'm Not Finished"

(Short Story For: Brittany)

CD: B2K
Song: "I'm Not Finished"
Singer: B2K


*
I remember like it was yesterday
Had everything under control
Stayed out all night with my boys
I took advantage of your love
Then one day you beat my game
Now suddenly everything has changed
Never thought that you would go, oh, no
But now I'm missing you so
*

     Jarrell sat on his bed barefoot, shirtless, and everything but painless. The note sat beside him and he couldn't glance at it without his heart breaking. She left him, but that surprised nobody, they were all waiting for it to happen. He took her for granted, though she never let the pain show, her eyes were all you needed to see. Brittany was girl full of energy and happiness when Jarrell first got with her, but as days and months went by, the glow of happiness seem to disappear and replaced with this dull feeling.

     Jarrell could see the change but he never thought he couldn't fix it, he never thought she would give up. She had called an hour before to say she was coming to get her stuff and here he sat waiting. He loved her, he loved Brittany more than he ever loved anyone before, in fact she was his first and only love. And now he saw the wrong in his ways, he would leave her every night alone in bed to go hang with the boys, how he never thanked her for all she did for him and now here he is alone. And how he wanted to scream from the top of the world how much loved her, now that it was too late.

*
I didn't know how much you meant to me
When I looked up you were gone
Now I realize you're my destiny
That's why I'm singing this song
Baby come back to me
Down on my bended knee
You are my everything
Girl, I, I need you, I need you, baby, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
*

     Then the door opened and she stepped into the room, his heart jumped into his throat. Brittany didn't speak she went to the closet and pulled out her suit case, looked around the bedroom trying to forget the good times, trying to remember what an asshole Jarrell was but that wasn't coming too easily. She never would have guess it would end this way, he had been her first slow dance, her first I love you. But as the days went by the love just seemed to disappear, well on his side it did. Brittany used to believe in Jarrell with all her heart until, he started to game her, for no reason at all.
    
     Jarrell decided to speak even though it may not help, "Brittany you know I love you, and I can't make excuses for the way I treated you but there is something I need to say to you."

     She turned around glaring at him, "Then you can speak your piece while I'm packin."

     "OK," He started sitting back down watching her move, "your words come to me in just a whisper, your face is so unclear, I try to pay attention, your words just disappear. 'Cause it's always raining in my head, so I forget all the things I should have said. So I speak to you in riddles. 'Cause my words get in my way, I smoke the whole thing to my head, and feel it wash away. 'Cause I can't take any more of this, I wanna come apart. And dig myself a little hole, inside your precious heart."

     He said, reciting something he had wrote to her years ago, they used to write each other letters when they couldn't really talk to each other. She was taken back, she had forgotten he could speak like that, never with such depth, never with such confusion. There was a place in him he refused to show or let go of and that's what got them to this point in the first place. She could see it in the way he looked at her, but his words were confusing sometimes. Sometimes she would cry herself to sleep because she missed the man she fell in love with, the man could she talk to, the man she could love and be loved in return.

     Brittany had to restrain herself from running to him, "I'm still listening."

     Jarrell sighed and went on, "I have forgotten to tell you how much I love you too many times. And you know that I am nothing more than a little boy inside, that cries out for attention. Yet I always try to hide, and you always knew that, but that doesn't give me the right to just forget you. But you were everything to me, and now that your gone I realize that your my eternity, my forever."

     Brittany laughed bitterly almost melting at the look in his eye, but she stayed strong, "Now that I'm gone, isn't that just appropriate."

     "Bri, I love you I do. I love everything about you, every song I sing, I sing it for you. Why can't you just believe me!" Jarrell yelled anxiously Standing in front of her.

    Brittany eye's went from his blood shot brown eyes, to his read puff beautiful lips. His words were simple, unlike him, he was anything but simple, he was beautiful, he was magnificent every wonderful thing but simple. Brittany honestly wished that everything could be as simple as his words but it was impossible.

*
I'll do what I gotta do to get ya
To love me the way you did before
Before I was takin your love for granted
You're always on my mind
*

     She brushed past him and put the last of her stuff into her other suit case and closed it. She turned back to him tears in her eyes, "Jarrell you waited to long to love me, when I have loved you for too long."

     "No, I just didn't start, I always have! And I will do anything, anything to show you that, I do love you!" Jarrell replied hurriedly as he walked over to her. Her lips shook as she held back tears, he could still feel her kisses they only got better with time, they were like a fine wine.

     Brittany again pushed past him and walked over to the dresser, "You know I used to wonder could you feel me slipping away, because I could feel you fall right from under me. While I was packing I was thinking about talking this out with you, starting over, but I could never do that to myself."

     He again followed her placing his hand on her back, "But everything would be different, I promise, you leaving me almost killed me. I never thought I could lose you, and then I did. And you were always on my mind, and morning, noon, and night I spent trying to figure out how to get your love back."

*
I don't wanna spend another day without you
Cuz baby, I'm not finished lovin you
*
     Brittany turned toward him and out of no where he kissed her, his lips felt so good, he kissed her with a different sad air like he had actually missed her. When he pulled away to walk away she caught his arm, "Jarrell I love you too, I guess I could never tell that you really did love me. You never said it, and I guess that bothered me, you sometimes tried to show it but it never came from your mouth, and to many times you just took me for granted and it hurt me so bad."

     "Bri, I love you more and more each second you are with me. You are all I have, or will ever have.  I love you so much but I'm horrible at saying it. But all I ever wanted was to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you, kissing, making love to you. I want to cherish you everyday, I want you to be my lover, my best friend, my one and only till the day I die." Jarrell replied pulling her small 5'5 frame into his arms, running his fingers through her long dark hair.

     Brittany sighed, content to be in his arms again, her hands roamed over his strong back, "Damn I want that too Rell, I really do."

     Jarrell pulled back and looked into her beautiful brown eyes, "Then can you teach me to say I love you?"

     Brittany smiled kissing him, "I love you Jarrell DaMonte Houston, I don't have to teach you because you just said it. You don't have to have fancy words or be romantic it's just the words, and you don't even have to say it. Sometimes you can feel it."

     He shook his head in agreement, "I know I always felt it from you, I'm glad you didn't leave for good cause I wasn't finished with our love."

     "Me either." She smiled and just let him hold her in his arms.

==End

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