"Know What You Want"

(Sequel To Learn The Hard Way)

Ch. 2

-- Brittney's House --

Brittney was laying on the couch with her head in Druex's lap, he was putting his fingers through her hair thinking the secret that was never far from his thoughts. When she spoke, "I hate lairs."

"Huh?" Druex asked surprised he knew she had been talking but he hadn't actually heard her.

"You know liars, he was lying to her Druex! The movie!" Brittney replied trying to get him to look like he had a small idea of what she was talking about.

"Oh yea, I know baby, that's the only thing I know you hate is a liar." Druex replied biting his lip, she hated him, he was a liar, and he was lying to her.

Brittney turned around so she could look up into his big brown almond eyes, every time she looked at him she thought of love, "What's wrong Druex?"

Druex looked around a minute before looking back at her, she would leave him if he just came out and told her, and on top of that she would be hurt and he DEFINITELY couldn't do that, "Do you think keeping a secret is a lie?"

Brittney bit her lip, raising her hand to play with a twist, "I dunno, it's according to the situation I guess. Why?"

"I dunno," Druex looked away from her eyes, he knew she hadn't not looking someone in the eye, but he couldn't lie to her that easy, "I just asked you know."

"Yea." She replied turning back looking through the channels, she kept wondering about the girl at the mall, and something about Druex was different. He seemed worried, kind of nervous, but just not himself.

Druex didn't know what to say, he wanted to tell her everything. All his mistakes, how sorry he was, and how he loved her. Every time she would look up at him and smile he knew that letting his secret go was going to be to hard. She wouldn't forgive him, and he wouldn't forgive himself either. Lately everything that he had did or thought of was about her, and that was the one time he was filled with a sense of who he used to be. And he didn't like the old Druex, and he knew Brittney wouldn't either.

"What's wrong Bit?" Druex asked still running his fingers through her soft hair.

Brittney sighed laying her hand on his knee, "Nothing just thinking."

"About what?" Druex replied closing his eyes knowing he wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't tell her and then knowing she wouldn't forgive him if he told her.

Brittney turned toward him again, she told him everything, and she thought it was a good idea to tell him about the girl at the mall. "When me and Britt were at the mall this girl, Akira Peterson, came up to me and just said, out of no where now. What you won't give other people will, and it's just been on my mind."

Druex tried to keep the sick feeling in his stomach from showing, "Do you know her?"

"Yea, I mean not know know, but I know her. We used to be in the same class Junior year, and plus she's boned just about every guy I know." Brittney laughed playing with his twist, and just as quickly as the laugh came it went.

Druex felt like he was going to pass out, all of sudden he got really hot, and a dreadful feeling came over him as she looked up at the ceiling, he didn't speak but she did, "Did you? I mean before I knew you?"

"No." Druex replied simply, that wasn't a lie, he didn't have sex with Akira before he knew Brittney. Just after he knew Brittney.

Brittney sat up, she had the same horrible feeling he did, she thought she was going to be sick or cry, but she wouldn't cry not in front of anybody. She thought crying made her weak and she wasn't going to be weak in front of Druex, "Druex tell me you didn't."

Druex couldn't lie, he looked at his hands then at Brittney and the look on her face was killing him. She felt the dread in his heart somehow, she was so hurt and angry in the same instant she just shook, "I can't lie to you."

Brittney stood up, turning toward him, her eyes wide. Her hand over her mouth, he could tell she was biting her tongue. But an instant later she was shaking her head and then she spoke, he could feel the hostility in her voice and he fought those tears back, "The hell you can! Why...how...Druex why? I told you if you couldn't wait for me then don't bother callin me, and you still called me, matter of fact you showed up at my house! You are a good damn liar to me."

"Bit I'm sorry, I really am, I can't explain it. It was just my hormones and alcohol mixin you know. I would never, ever just hurt you on purpose." Druex replied pleading with her through his eyes, and all he got back was a wall. He stood in front of her trying to touch her, but every time he did touch her she would throw his hands off her.

Brittney wanted to yell, scream, hit him do something but this hurt more than she thought it would. She looked up into his eyes and her heart broke, she was actually in love with Druex, "Tell me it was just one time. Please Druex, please."

Druex sighed heavily turning away from her, biting on his bottom lip, he was hurting because he knew every second this went on, the worse she was gonna be hurt, "I can't do that Bit."

Brittney's eyes turned to little slits, she thought she was mad enough to choke him to death, though she was still quivering from her emotions she exhaled loudly trying to make her voice work. "How many times Druex?"

"Three." He replied quietly, it was all over, Brittney didn't get angry easily and when she did her temper could get the best of her. Druex knew it was over when the little growl left her throat.

"Three times? Three mistakes? I'm young Druex but I wasn't born yesterday! What she tripped and fell on your dick three different times? Druex fuck you!" Brittney yelled finally letting it all out, her tears were still inside, but she wasn't about to hide her anger. She loved him and yet he turned around and betrayed her.

"But Bit don't do this to me, please, I'm sorry and I'll do anything to make this up to you!" Druex begged, he couldn't let her say the words that were going through her mind. He loved this girl, he knew that for sure now, he wouldn't have ever begged any other girl to let him stay.

She laughed bitterly, looking him straight in the eyes and before either knew it she had slapped him right across the face. For a moment she looked like she was going to apologize, but after that he anger reappeared, "Like I said fuck you, get out, get out now! It's ova Druex, it's ova, when you see me don't speak, lose my phone number, and forget my damn name!"

Druex touched his cheek where her hand print was etched on his face, it stung but he understood where it came from. HE stood looking at her for a minute, knowing he loved her because he wouldn't have took that from anyone else. The look on her face almost made him sick, he had did that to her, all because he was horny. Midway to the door he stopped and looked at her, "But I never loved Akira."

Before Brittney could reply he was gone, out of her house, and her life. She fell on the couch her body shaking with tears, she hurt worse than anything she had ever felt in her life, no word came as she sobbed into her hands loudly. She had loved Druex and he tore her apart, she had wanted to give her virginity to him, but he betrayed her. Brittney could do nothing but cry, she honestly wanted to die, anything to make the pain go away.

-- Later That Night - Druex --

Druex laid on his bed, it was just after midnight, and he could see he wasn't going to be sleeping at all. He couldn't shake the look on her face, it was like every time he closed his eyes, she was all he could really see. She didn't believe they were all mistakes, but he knew they were, he would never cheat just to cheat, on her anyway.

Out of no where there was a knock at his door, he cleared his throat, "Come in."

His brother, Chez who looked a lot like him without the hair, walked in turning on the light, "Aye nig, I just came up here to see if you were aiight."

"Yea I'm cool, why you think somethin's wrong wit me?" Druex replied sitting up trying to look like his life was falling apart.

Chez rolled his eyes and sat the bed, "Druex come on nigga, give me a little credit here. I've seen that look too many times not to remember, because it was on my own face. Somethin went wrong wit your girl, right?"

"How you know know that?" Druex asked, not wanting to talk about it, but if he knew Chez it would all be out before Chez went to bed.

"Shit Druex, you been wit Brittney for what, a year now? You didn't talk durin dinner, you didn't call her before bed like you always do, and you didn't tell ma she said hey like Brittney always does. So what went down?" Chez replied like it was all a normal thing, but it was true Druex didn't do any of those things and when you do it everyday for a year, one day without it is very strange.

"I cheated on her." Druex replied knowing Chez was gonna get him for that, Chez didn't do cheating, never had. Him being the oldest he could remember what their father cheating on their mother had done to their family, and he just happened to have learned from his dad's mistakes.

"Druex! Damn, you know she hurtin, she been wit you a year of her life and you do her wrong, " Chez shook his head disappointed in his little brother, "and I bet you don't care anything about that other girl? Cause we all know you sprung off Brittney, so what was it just a sexual thing?"

Druex shook his head looking down, he wanted to cry, but he couldn't make himself let them fall, "I did it three times, they were all at a party, and I was drunk as hell."

"So that's why your cheek was red when you came home? Damn Druex where is your head? And I mean the one your supposed to think with!" Chez replied the sympathetic look that was in his eyes when he had first came in the room was now gone.

"Yea she was pretty pissed." Druex said letting his head hit the wall closing his eyes, but she was there so he opened his eyes, noticing the stare his brother was giving him.

"So what now? It's ova?" Chez asked biting at his finger nail, he knew his brother was hurting but Druex always seemed to prefer learning the hard way to the learnin the easy way.

All Druex could do was nod his head, every time he thought of that he got so choke up he couldn't speak, "I don't know what to do."

Chez shrugged his shoulders, Chez never had this problem, he and his girl were happy and only fought over stupid shit, "I bet she doesn't either Druex."

True, Druex thought, looking past his brother into the hall where he knew his mother was in the bathroom listening. "I know, I know, but how am I supposed to make up for this mistake?"

"You want her back?" Chez asked standing up walking over to the door.

Druex shook his head quickly, Chez already knew he was going to say that, Chez replied walking out the room closing the door, "Keep loving her, never let her forget you care Druex, and in time it'll come. People don't fall in love for nothing, just make her remember you is what she wants. And just don't fuck up ever again."

Druex was thinking of all the possibilities, but just as he found that seed of hope he thought about Jarrell. Jarrell hadn't spoken to him since Druex had told him about Akira, Jarrell was pissed but he just wanted Druex to tell her. And now that he did, he was sure Jarrell and Brittany alike would be against them getting back together. Druex sighed as he threw the covers over his head, tomorrow was going to be a long day.

-- Next Day At School--

"You OK?" Brittany asked she was sitting beside Brittney, who was just looking out at space. Brittney hadn't spoken much since she got to school, but she didn't seem angry at all, there was this sad air about her.

Brittney shook her head looking at Brittany as she wrote a note down, "Yea I'm fine. Why?"

Brittany looked around the room making sure the teacher wasn't around, "Because you act like that nigga didn't hurt you. You actin like you back with Rome, and he just had a date or somethin."

Brittney put her pen in her mouth looking around, they were in Interpersonal Communications 4 so it was just a room full of girls, "Yea he hurt me Britt, but what am I supposed to do? Cry? Scream? Be a bitch to everybody? That's not gonna make this whole situation disappear."

"Have you cried at all? I mean Bri you were in love with him for God's sake, he acted like you were his sun, moon, and stars. And all you can do is just look a little upset?"  Brittany replied just as the bell rang, she stood up watching her best friend.

They walked out into the hall to their lockers, passing the groups of people who came out classrooms. Brittney opened her locker turning toward Brittany who was standing there waiting for an answer, "I cried after he left, but if I sit up and think about it, it hurts too damn to even explain Britt. So can we just live with what I choose to show?"

"Yea." Brittany replied opening her locker putting her book up as Jarrell came over and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey Brittney, you aiight?" Jarrell asked as he went on the other side of Brittney, both girls knew he was pissed to no end because he was Brittney's best friend.

"You two talk I'm goin to class, bye." Brittany said kissing Jarrell on the cheek, Brittney and Jarrell had Econ/Gov for fourth period and Brittany had Aerobics.

As they walked down the hall Brittney saw Akira standing by a locker smiling, all Brittney could do was breath deeply, "You know what Rell? Ima tell you the truth."

Jarrell looked over at Akira just before they passed her, he knew that's who Druex cheated with but he didn't know about the incident in the mall, "Aiight."

"I'm not OK, I hurt like hell inside, I feel like shit, and I have to find a date to the dance in 5 days. And not to mention I have to deal with the whole school staring at me! And to add to that I'm tired of people askin am I OK! Do I look OK to you? Would you be OK if the man you cared about fucked you over?" Brittney almost yelled as they passed two people standing at their locker looking her right in the mouth.

For once Jarrell didn't know what to say, he was floored, "Brittney I almost wish I could say somethin on Druex's behalf but I can't, he knew he was gonna bone for a while and yet he stayed. But truthfully I can say that he stayed because he really cared for you."

"Don't repeat that to me ever again Rell." Brittney said walking into the room in front of him, actually she didn't care about the date to the Homecoming dance, but the Queen had to have someone to dance with after the she danced with the King, she couldn't just sit down. Originally that wasn't even a question in her mind but now she had to think about who else was out there for her to dance with.

Meanwhile Druex was at his locker, he had seen her one to many times today, and each time she acted like he wasn't alive let alone with 5 feet of her. He knew everyone knew by now, but what was so bad was that they all had an opinion about it. Most of the time he was the bad guy or they honestly believed it was a mistake, it was very few of those. He was pulling out his English 4 book when someone walked up to him.

"So you fucked up eh?" Dai'Mon smiled leaning on the locker next to Druex's, Druex hated Dai'Mon Douglass more than anybody he had ever met, always had. Dai'Mon and he had never actually clicked, they didn't have a particular reason for hating each other, they just did.

"Shut the fuck up nigga." Druex replied putting his other book back in his locker, he and Dai'Mon had a weird kind of hatred toward each other.

Dai'Mon laughed nodding at Omari as he opened his locker that was behind Dai'Mon, "Well that means she's free for the dance in two weeks. Hm that would tyte the King and Queen just so happen to be each other's dates, you know she gonna win Druex. Look who's up against her, Tiraza, Hope, Astin, and some white girls; come on Druex, 2 hoes, and one stuck up trick."

Druex wanted to agree, Dai'Mon whispered his comment about Tiraza, everyone was voting for her, "Dai'Mon don't fuckin go near her, understand that."

All Dai'Mon did was laugh, rolling his brown eyes, his dimple coming out making some girls stare, "What's really good with you nigga? You can't tell me or anybody else not to step to her, cuz you fucked up, remember? See yo ass at Homecomin."

Druex wanted beat the hell out of him but he just let Dai'Mon walk away, he slammed his locker looking over at Omari who just replied, "D, those are your consequences right there."

Druex rolled his eyes as Chub walked up to him leaving some girls standing in the hall giggling, "Aye, aye, nigga what's this Nikki tell me about you and Britt splittin? And you boned AP? Nigga say that shit is a lie, that trick is a hoe fo'reel."

"It's true Chub, all of it so you can stop buggin." He replied waiting for Omari to get all his stuff out his locker.

Chub shook his head right as first bell rang, "It's a shame too, she really cared for you, but hell she even mentioned love once but whateva. Holla ya'll."

Druex could have screamed and punched a hole right through that locker he was on, Brittney loved him, hell it was over now what more could go wrong, "Damn!"

Omari closed his locker and walked with Druex down the hall, "You should've known what you wanted nigga and all this shit wouldn't be happening."