"Know What You Want"

(Sequel To Learn The Hard Way)

Ch. 3

-- Brittney's House 5 Days Later --

Brittney, her Mom, and her sister Isabelle were sitting in the kitchen talking while Theresa was cooking. Brittney hadn't exactly announced what had happened to her family, who had become rather fond of Druex, even Jayson had. She hadn't slept well since that night, he was everywhere she looked, even being in her own house drove her crazy. But there was ONE small consolation, Dai'Mon had stepped to her after school yesterday asking would she accompany him to the dance, being that it was in 5 more days she said yes.

At this moment her sister was gushing over he new boyfriend, "Oh my God ya'll! He is perfect, he loves Rishon, he loves me, and he has a good job plus a Lexus!"

Brittney rolled her eyes kicking Isabelle in the leg with her Nike, "Oh how much love ya'll have! I wish I had a man who was all that!"

Isabelle kicked her back with her sandal though it didn't hurt Brittney, "Whatever, not all of us can have the perfect man like you Brit Brit."

Brittney glared at her older sister like she was about to choke her, Isabelle looked more like her mom than anybody but with hair that stayed in long ass braids like Alicia Keys. "Oooh don't ever wish you had a man like I had Belle, please don't!"

Theresa put the pan in the oven sitting on the other side of the island, "Why do you say that honey?"

Brittney picked up an apple and a knife, instead of peeling it she started stabbing it, "Because they suck, they lie to your faces and then try to cover it. They get you vulnerable, then they mutilate your heart, pulling it out cutting it up and putting it right back in it's place. Never one minute stopping to ask if you even wanted to go on the ride."

Isabelle and Theresa looked at each other surprised then Isabelle spoke, "B, what happened?"

"The no good bastard," Brittney stopped looking at her mother she never cussed in front of her, "excuse me ma, the no good excuse of a living breathing animal, cheated on me. Hold up, hold up, not just once, get this, three times!"

Theresa shook her head she was about to hit her daughter for cussing but she understood why, "Oh, baby I understand, they all have commitment problems."

Isabelle waved her mother's commit away, "Please ma don't give her false hope, most of them are vultures waiting to watch you die inside out. That's how I got Rishon, most are cold hearted wolves stalking you like you are a deer or something. But, no be sure to remember this, there are that small population of men who are like dogs. Cute, adorable, and they make little boo boo's, maybe once, twice, three times or more. But that doesn't mean they actually meant to hurt you, no matter if it does sound stupid."

Theresa shook her head agreeing, her eyebrows raised wondering when her oldest daughter, and oldest child, got so wise, "That's true baby, they make more mistakes than any other creature on earth, and there is plenty of proof for that. But not remembering that is why so many women have lost good men, and you shouldn't make that mistake."

"What are you sayin?" Brittney asked finally quitting her assault on the apple looking over at her mother.

"We're saying, that though Druex did some stupid ass things, and it probably hurt you in ways you didn't even know existed. He probably didn't actually mean to hurt you, sometimes they get into that "me" frame of mind, and forgets their girl at home will be hurt in the end." Isabelle replied snatching the apple from Brittney biting out of it.

Their mother rolled her eyes taking the apple from Isabelle biting out of it, "What your crazy sister is trying to say is, don't be too hard on him. Sometimes the best love affairs come from some pain."

Brittney sighed biting her pinkie finger thinking a moment before she spoke, "Did daddy ever cheat on you?"

Theresa stopped for a moment before turning to her youngest daughter, "Yes, he did once for about 2 weeks with this woman from his job, but I eventually caught on. I kicked him out for about 2 or 3 months, Belle was 2 then, you and Jay weren't even born. It hurt me so bad I wanted to die, and I wanted to kill him all at the same time."

Isabelle was taking back by this story she had never heard, "Why did you take him back?"

"Because," Theresa smiled biting out the apple one more time, "it was his first mistake, I mean ever, and I knew I loved him. You can't just give up on the first test, I mean you have to take the bad to get the good. Truth be told if it wasn't for that we wouldn't have had Jayson so earlier after you Belle."

Both Brittney and Isabelle made faces, almost saying eww, but Brittney straightened up, "Why does it have to be like that? Because I've never in my whole life felt pain like I do right now."

"It's just the way life is Bug, doesn't mean the world is against you and Druex, it just means it's time to test ya'lls relationship. But don't forget it hurts them after they see it's hurt you, so give it a little time before you make your final decision." Theresa replied standing up to go check on the corn bread in the oven.

Brittney looked at her sister who must have been thinking about her boyfriend cause she smiling out into space, "What about Rishon's dad?"

The smile fell off Isabelle's face before she laughed, "B, he was a vulture."


-- Omari's House --

"Damn Druex it's been 5 days, laugh, annoy the hell out of us! Do something!" Omari said sitting next to Druex who hadn't laughed or smiled in 5 whole days, he knew Dai'Mon had asked her but he couldn't say anything. But it wasn't exactly that, that had him buggin, it was the fact that he missed her.

Druex looked over at Omari, shooting darts at him, "I don't feel like it."

Mario looked up from the Playstation long enough to say, "Your ruining the mood nigga, we happy peoples, your like the evil old bitter dude in the care bears."

Jarrell threw Mario a strange look before scooting over just a little, "Leave him be ya'll."

Jerome walked into the room with Marques and their other friend Kelton, "Yea, listen to Jarrell give him a little time."

Druex looked up giving Jerome a grateful look, before looking away thinking about Brittney, he almost thought he was going crazy. Everything he saw made him think of her, and when he thought of her the worst pain he ever felt would shoot through his body.  Marques sat on the floor next to his cousin, Kelton sat on the widow seal, while Jerome sat in the chair. Jerome had mixed feelings about Brittney and Druex in the beginning, but he saw what Druex did for Brittney and he had no more objections, but he was kind of pissed when he heard about Druex cheating. But when he saw Druex right after he had heard, he realized it was all a big mistake on Druex's part, he didn't know how he knew he just did.

Marques looked back at Druex for a minute before asking, "Can I ask what in the hell made you do that?"

Druex didn't even have to ask what, he knew it was all on there minds, and sure enough they all turned their attention to him, "Stupidity, male stupidity, for a second I actually thought that since I couldn't get it from home I could go elsewhere and actually be happy. But hell even though I was drunk all three times the next morning woke up feeling like I had just fell from the worst high in history."

The boys stayed quiet for a minute before saying anything, then Mario asked, "So bonein AP definitely wasn't worth it?"

Druex shook his head sighing for like the thousandth time that day, "Hell, nigga bonein anybody wouldn't be worth this shit I feel! And all I have to say about AP is...loose."

That got all the guys laughing, Akira had slept with almost every guy in the school, and grown men too. That's why most guys now refused to touch her, even after maybe sleeping with her years before, now she was like this walking disease they hated touching. It was funny how all these guys had helped her become the kind of girl she was but refused to even acknowledge her once she became known for what they had once wanted from her.

Omari looked over at his friend before asking the other question they all had on their minds, "You in love wit her aren't you? That's why you missin her like she done died or something."

Jerome looked Druex right in his eyes, he wanted to hear this probably more than anybody else, "Yea, I got that feelin like you had a bout Tiraza, and Rell about Brittany, and Kelton about Liz."

Jerome looked down at his hand before saying anything, they were all now looking around thinking, being serious. Something they didn't do often, so there was sort of an uncomfortable air about the room, "Then why did you keep it to yourself?"

"Huh?" Druex asked looking away from the ceiling for a moment to look at Jerome before looking back at the ceiling.

"If you love her then why are sittin here with us miserable as I am black." Jerome replied looking at Druex like he was crazy.

"How do you tell a girl you love her when she told you to forget her number, not to speak to her, and forget you knew her name?" Druex asked looking at Jerome like he really hoped he had an answer.

-- Later that day - Brittney --

She was sitting on her bed reading the latest Eric Jerome Dickey novel, "Thieves Paradise", when her phone rang, sure Druex bought it for her but nothing could stop her from reading an EJD book.

"Hello?" She asked sticking the little puppy dog book mark he had bought her into the book.

"Hey Brittney it's Jerome." Jerome had a mission in mind and it actually wasn't for his own benefit.

Brittney sighed she actually hoped it was someone else, she just wanted to hear his voice, she was missing him like a bee would miss honey, "Hey Rome what's up?"

Jerome sighed and got his thoughts together before he spoke, "I know it's none of my business but B, I wanted to ask are really not missing Druex at all? I mean you act so cold to him, but I'm not saying you so be nice to him but you act as if he was never alive to you."

Brittney laid back on her bed looking up at the ceiling where she and Druex had put the glow in the dark stars and moons, "You are right it isn't any of your business J, but I only act cold because I'm hurt. Maybe I get to wrapped up in my emotions and I'm a little too mean, but I could never think he wasn't alive."

"You know B, he's hurt too, he hasn't laughed, smiled, or even bothered any of us for 5 days!" Jerome replied not trying to make her feel guilty just trying make her think.

Brittney smiled a little her wall cracking just a little, "Really?"

"Really B, and then he walks around all miserable and missin you, because there was something he never got to say and it's killing him. B, could you at least agree to maybe speaking to him?" Jerome asked hoping that just telling the truth without the exaggerating would help.

Brittney thought for a minute before answering, "No, I still can't talk to him, but I will agree to acknowledge his presence. But what didn't he get to say to me?"

"It's not my place to say, but thanks B maybe you acknowledging him will help a little." Jerome replied racking his brain for another idea but he was shooting blanks.

Brittney smiled a little trying to think of what it was, "OK, well glad I can help, good night J."

"Night B, love you." He replied about to hang up the phone he hear the smile in her voice, he knew he had helped a little.

"Love you J." Brittney replied hanging up the phone still looking up at the ceiling, she didn't exactly know what to think, she wanted to stay mad at him but she was missing him.

She reached over to turn on her radio, the song that came on brought tears to her eyes, it was "Don't Change" by Musiq. Druex used to sit up and sing that to her, it was like her favorite song and Druex always knew exactly the right way to sing it. She closed her eyes and let the music just go through her head.

See I'll love you when your hair turns gray
I'll still want you if you gain a little weight
The Way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don't change, No

She opened her eyes, she was shocked, she fiendin over him, and she hadn't known him as long as she did Jerome. Sometimes she felt she missed him so much that she was just gonna wild out wherever she was. She missed his kisses, his smiles, his touches, his voices, but mostly she just missed him. She was confused, she wanted so bad to punish him but the more she punished him the more she punished herself.

So don't waste your time worrying bout
Small things ain't relevant to me
Cause to my understanding you're all I want and need
See what I'm trying to say is I'm here to stay
And as long as your love don't change
Baby, Baby darling I swear that I,
I swear I ain't going nowhere no

When the first tear made it's way down her face she turned the radio off, she couldn't take it anymore. Being without him was killing her and she didn't know exactly what to do. But she remembered what her mother had said about her taking her father back, "it was his first mistake, I mean ever, and I knew I loved him." She knew she loved Druex, but the question was when would her anger give way to forgiveness?

Lyrics: Musiq Soulchild - "Dontchange" - (C) 2002