"Popular Thug"

Chapter 6

       Brittney walked into her house with a sigh of exhaustion and contentment settling on her lips. She threw her purse on the table and raced upstairs for a shower. The night before had been about more than sex, it had been soul sharing, it had been loving for the very first time. It had been years since a man had touched her like Druex had and she had seen more than lust in his eyes when he laid next to her. That morning when she woke up and kissed him good morning there had been an unspoken pledge between them, a pledge of loyalty. But they both knew loyalty came with a price and most times it was steep.

       She stepped under the warm stream of water and closed her eyes, imaging every moment, every word, every look that they had exchanged the night before. The schoolgirl grin, that had been on her face when he had repeated his earlier words, still lingered.

       "You know, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

       Those words sent a definite chill up her spine, the air of certainty of his voice and truthfulness in his kiss unnerved her. He was the best thing that could have happened to her, she was a totally different person from the virtual zombie that had been walking around for the past three and a half years.

       She waltzed into her bedroom not noticing that the door was being slammed downstairs. She was in her own world, one of her and Druex, last night she had comforted him and in someway he, in turn, had comforted her. Brittney looked through her closet finding her Bongo jeans and a semi-thick sweater, and now brushing her hair back to the side, she found herself humming an old Boys II Men song.

       Before she could turning her humming into singing her door opened with a loud, ear shattering, hit on the wall. Brittney jumped looking behind her to see he father looking at her with a fire that could only be contested by her own fiery temper.

       "Tell me you didn't sleep with him!" Joe demanded with a low growl, looking his daughter straight in her eyes, Brittney's eyes didn't waver and she knew then that he knew.

       "What are talkin about daddy?" She pretended sitting her comb on the dresser that she was leaning on.

       "I'm talking about you spending the night at Druex Fredric's home," Joe steamed at the thought as he pictured his little girl in Druex's arms, "tell me you didn't lay in his bed, tell me you didn't lay in his arms, tell me you didn't let him touch you!"

       "Daddy I can't." She replied looking away from her fathers dark, cold, angry eyes. She hadn't been so afraid of those eyes in her life.

        "You can't?" He whispered harshly, his words were barely came steady as did his breath.
   
       "I can't. But I have to ask how did you know where I was?" She asked as she finally got the strength to look her father dead in the eyes.

       "We've been watching them all, surveillance cameras, selected officers in selected places and last night...we all watched as you arrived at his home. And preceded to have a very troubling looking conversation that ended with him...kissing...you. So I know where you've been and who you've been with. So what do you have to say?" Joe asked looking at his daughter expectantly, he looked at her like a father should never look at his daughter, he looked at her like a traitor.

       "I have nothing to say daddy, nothing. Nothing that will take that hate out of your eyes, nothing that will make you sleep better, or breathe easier. Because if spoke how I felt, you'd never forgive me, I see in your eyes, all you're thinking about is Antoneo. And daddy it's worse than Antoneo...a lot worse...I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and I think I love him for it." She replied walking toward her father with little remorse or guilt, she stood in front of him, looking straight in his eyes and waited for his answer.

       "Then either you choose or get out. I will NOT have that filth in MY house. NEVER, EVER, again." Joe snarled at his daughter and before he knew it hate and filth were dripping from his tongue.

       Brittney stood looking at the first man she ever loved and found herself hurt and disgusted, "First you speak ill of your dead son and then you choose a job over the ONLY family you have left. Who are you? Because you aren't the loving, honorable man that I grew up adoring. You are some victory seeking snake who would take a boost in rank over the chance to have your son back."

       Joe saw the error of his ways, he could see the temper rising in his daughter and knew that he had gone too far, "No, no, Brittney, baby girl --"
       "DON'T call me that...,"  She yelled backing away from him, her eyes glaring at him like she was looking at a piece of crap, "my daddy used to call me that...and I don't have a daddy anymore."

       "Brittney you don't mean that." Joe yelled.

       "Yes, I do, you told me to choose, and you said you wouldn't have that filth in your house. And I can't think of any other filth, other than me, because I don't see how any of it would be in YOUR house. NO! Not the great, powerful Joe Anderson. Never." She replied yelling at him, tears spilling down her face, never had she ever thought that a day would come that she would feel anything other than love toward her father.

        "How could you choose that -- that -- thug over your own father?" Joe whispered as she wiped the tears away and replaced them with anger.

       "I would never, ever, choose Druex over my daddy, ever. But YOU gave me a choice, and you are NOT my daddy." She cried with more passion than he had seen since Cornell and Antoneo died.

       He watched in horror as she put on her boots and headed down stairs, he wasn't stupid, he knew where she was going, "Please, calm down, please, I don't mean to be so one-sided over all this."

       "Daddy, you told me along time ago that Joe Anderson Jr., said anything he didn't mean." Brittney said stopping in the middle of the staircase staring back at her father.

       "You know one of his partners is going down for murder one?" Joe whispered as he followed her down the stairs and to the living room.

        "I know, he knows", Brittney replied quietly putting on her coat and picking up her purse, "but it makes no difference. I was there for him last night, he was real torn up about it, but it makes me think no less of him."

       As he watched her walk down the driveway, toward a cab that was circling the neighborhood, he whispered, "Please, God take care of my child."



       Brittney walked into the building not even knowing if today was her scheduled appointment but she needed to talk. She needed some guidance and the only place she could think of to get it was from Dr. Alderson.

       She walked up to Gladyis' table and tried her best to turn her snarl into a smile, "Gladyis, is there anyway that Dr. Alderson could see me today?"

       "Well, darlin le'me see," Gladyis drawled as she glanced at Brittney and  back at the computer, "you are in luck, the doctor was plannin' to take a walk-in right after this patient. So why don't you sit right there and she'll be right a'ong."

       She smiled the best she could before sitting in the quiet lobby, "Thanks Gladyis."

       Not ten minutes later did Dr. Alderson's door open and a 40-year old looking man walk out followed by her looking at Gladyis, "Send me a walk-in."

       "Miss Anderson." Gladyis called in a rather happy voice motioning for her to enter the room.

       Brittney stood quickly careful to make a moment of friendly eye contact with Gladyis before making her way toward Dr. Alderson. As she entered the room she took off her coat, sat her purse next to her, and crossed her legs until Dr. Alderson returned from making the next appointment with the man who had just escaped the dreary, tired looking room that she now sat in.

       Dr. Alderson entered the room with a formulated, yet friendly, smile, "Well, good morning Miss Anderson. How have you been lately?"

       She waited a moment before she answer the Doctor, "I've been OK."

       The doctor sat in her chair opposite the couch that the patients sit on, "You sound as if you have a lot on your mind."

       Brittney watched Dr. Alderson scribble something on the pad and turn her full attention back to her, "I do."

       "Well, then, just talk." She smiled noticing the glare that Brittney sent her.

       "I stayed at Druex's last night, I was trying to comfort him, but my dad found out. Which I knew was going to happen eventually, but he blew up and being who I am I blew up too. He told me to choose and I did, I choose Druex, but I really didn't choose Druex because I told my dad that he wasn't my dad and that's why I choose Druex. So now I'm left with all this directionless anger and I have no where to go, cause if I go home I have to admit I was wrong but then if I go to Druex then I really will be choosing him!" Brittney replied quickly, all her words coming out so fast that Dr. Alderson strained to make sense of it all but she understood with he patients that sometimes it all got cramped up in their heads and that's how it came out.

       The doctor took a few steadying breaths before speaking, "OK, lets start from the top. Why where you trying to comfort Druex?"

       "Because his friend is locked up for first degree murder." Brittney said biting her lip anxiously, very seldom did she really want to open up to Dr. Alderson like she did today.

       "And let me guess, you heard this from your father?" Dr. Alderson asked as she wrote something down on that pad of hers.

       "Yea." Brittney answered twisting a string off of her coat around her finger.

       "OK, so from what I understood you came home this morning and you two had a fight?" She asked looking up at Brittney over her silver-rimmed glasses.

       "Yea, he blew up over him finding out that I spent my night with Druex." Brittney whispered quietly, the events of this morning running through her head.

       The doctor noticed her thoughtful look, "Do you regret staying the night with him?"

       Brittney locked eyes with the doctor before answering, "No, not at all."

       "But you said you couldn't go to Druex because you would have to say you chose Druex over your father." The doctor probed as she scribbled something on her pad.

       "I don't regret last night but I still love my father. I just wish he hadn't thrown that in my face and gave me an ultimatum while I was still mad. When I'm mad I can't think straight." She whispered biting her lip again.

       "Was it an ultimatum exactly?" Dr. Alderson asked as she looked up from her little pad and push some of her long curly hair out of her face.

       "His exact words were...'Then either you choose or get out'....sounds like one to me." Brittney replied wanting stand up and leave, this didn't seem to be helping at all.

       "Well, like you said people can't think straight when they are angry. He more than likely didn't mean it." Dr. Alderson replied pushing a stray piece of hair behind her neck.

       "True."

       The doctor looked at her a moment before writing on her notepad, "You also said you didn't want to admit you were wrong. Is that the main reason you refuse to go to your father?"

       Brittney looked around hesitantly before she looked back at the doctor, "Yea."

             

       The session had ended on a high note with Dr. Alderson telling her that either way she could have both men, it would just take a lot of effort with all three parties. In someway that was helpful, in others, it did not one bit of good.

       Brittney walked up the sidewalk trying to remember where he usually was this time of day and just as she was about to hail a cab she spotted his car. She searched around for him with her eyes for a minute before seeing him standing up against a building talking to three very well dressed guys, that she'd never forget. As she looked at them all she wanted to cry, it was like a broken family, it was missing members. Cornell, Antoneo, and now Jarell. She didn't even have to ask which one was locked up now, she could see the hole in the already torn circle.     

       Before she could do anything Druex spotted her and detangled himself from his boys. He made his way to her with a smile on his face the entire time, when he took her in his arms for a hug he squeezed tighter then usual, and this time he kissed her slower than usual. And she could say nothing.

       "What's wrong?" Druex asked as he directed her away from his boys.

       "Me and my dad had a fight earlier." She whispered as they sat down at an outside restaurant's table.

       "Over us?" He asked waving the waiter away from the table.

       "He made me choose and I chose you." Brittney frowned at him, like it was the first time she was thinking about it.

       "Why'd you do that baby?" Druex asked taking her hand for some reason that completely escaped her.

       "Because...I don't know. Why you gotta do what you do? How can it not bother you Druex! God, if you could do anything else then it wouldn't be so hard!" She rambled looking away from him ashamed she was speaking those words.

       "Oh, baby," He sighed gripping her hand tighter as the look on his face got harder, "if I didn't do what I do and if everything was changed then we wouldn't be together now would we?"

       "No," Brittney whispered as he moved his seat next to hers, "but damn Druex, how could you not feel anything when...you know?"

       He nodded his head as the cool breeze flew across their backs, "You wanna know how deep I feel this shit?"

       "Yea." She whispered laying her head on his shoulder as he spoke.

       "It shames me to no end, to feed poison to those who could very well be my kin. But where there's demand, someone will supply, so I feed them their needs, at the same time cry. Yes, it pains me to see them needy, all of them lost souls and I'm their Jesus. Deepest regret and sympathy to the street, I see no pity, for they fix when they kids couldn't eat. And with this in mind, I still don't quit, and that's how I know, that I ain't shit. My heart bleeds but that's aside from the fact. " He whispered in to her hair, he knew she heard him, he knew she understood him.

       "You are something more than shit, cause if you weren't I wouldn't be sitting here. I'm sorry I came down here and tried to make you feel guilty about what you do. That was not my intention." She replied sitting up looking him dead in the eye, right then she didn't know what was going on in her head.

       "Hey I'm not a thug, they don't dress this well, and I hate to think the game is my callin, cause it's got us singing lullaby's to our fallen. So don't worry baby." Druex smiled as she stood up.

       "I have to go, I'll see you later?" Brittney asked as he pulled her into his arms again.

       "Yea, I'll come to yo' crib to get ya at 8."

       "I'm not going over there yet."

       "Yes, you are, you can't let this get to deep. Be ready at 8." He replied kissing her on her cheek before running back to his friends.

       Talking to him had done more good than talking to Dr. Alderson. But what did she expect? The guy honestly adored her. And she adored him and she knew nothing could stop what was to come. Though she had tried to fight it the love & honor story, was becoming her life.
......
You don't know it yet it's the life that I live that you love and the fact that I'm a thug