"Voices In My Head"

Chapter 2


Wake up ass hole she's back.

Jerome sat up ignoring that voice in his head, to see Cheyenne walk in the door her heels in her hands. Her hair in a bun with curls dangling down her head like she had been dancing all night; her tight red dress was clinging to her hips with every slight movement. She sat her coat and shoes on a chair by the door.

Say something dick weed, don't just stare.

"So spill on the date Chy?" He asked as he scooted to the end of the couch so she could sit down.

"Oh J you didn't have to wait for me!" Cheyenne replied surprised, as she noticed that he was only in his boxers, as she sat down, she noticed it was 3 am.

He folded his feet under and turned to see her pull her dress up to her thighs so she could sit on her knees. "Chy I know, but I wanted to. So…"

You just wanted to see her come in all sweaty and tired, you are such a little bitch, so don't act so whipped.

Fuck, don't start  now!

Oh! I'm so fucking scared.

Shut the fuck up!

Nope having too much fun, look how she's looking at you, she thinks yo' nuts nigga. Ha ha!

"J, this date was the worst! I'm looking pretty nice and so is he, but he wants to dance. No rhythm, I mean he can't even slow dance! In addition, his conversational skills are extremely limited; OK we talked about his mom for half the whole damn night and their struggle with her cancer. It was really cute for him to be that damn dedicated to her, but shit that was fuckin weird. The al I said was 'Yea' or 'Sure' and the stupid bastard tried to order for me! I quickly made him understand that I order for myself, but I think I offended him. He's not used to a woman who can lift a damn finger for herself." Cheyenne said while Jerome fought that incessant voice in his head.

Do I feel a bead of hope growing inside of you? Just because she had ONE bad date doesn't mean she's yours. Look asshole; face it she don't want to be in love.

Go away.

I will when I feel like you don't need me anymore.

I already feel like that dammit!

Well I know you need me momma's boy so fuck off and let me do my job.

"Well you planning to go on another date with him?" Jerome asked as she laid her legs out, her feet in his lap.

What are you a retard? The girl just said she had a horrible time with the ass hole. What, you want her to endure another heart hardening night, with a rich dick sucka that has NO idea she is just using his millionaire ass.

"AW HELL NO! He'd have to give me his whole fucking estate before I even gave him a minute more of my time." Cheyenne laughed lying back in the chair.

Jerome laughed his fingers massaging the calves of her legs; "Well what you do is up to you. It's yo' life and you can ruin – I mean run it how you want."

"Wow J, that is a strong guilt trip to lay on a girl! Shit look lets make a deal if you let me live my life without hearing your smart ass remarks I will stay out of yo' affairs, with these tricks." She said surprised that he had gone that far.

Damn! Nigga, who taught you to lay a guilt trip on like that? Whoever did I need to go see them! You laid it on thick!

Oh shut up! It wasn't that bad!

Jerom let out a loud dramatic sigh of defeat, "Look Cheyenne I didn't mean to insult you. In my own psychotic way I was just trying to help yo' ass, and if me staying out of yo' business is what you want, then we can do this like Burger King you can have it yo' way. Aren't you glad we got that out of the fuckin way?" Jerome stood up and walked to his room, "Night, oh yea and I expect you to uphold yo' part of the bargain too."

Whoa Jones! Come on jump off that 'Pissed Train' before you say something stupid! Well damn, we've already past that point.

Don't put yo' lil cent in this.

Jerome shut his door right as Cheyenne was about to make a comment. She lay out of the couch not wanting to go to her bed; she just lay there thinking. Her eyes filling with tears, she was alone, just like most of her life, what was she gonna do without Jerome?

After awhile she just stopped trying to restrain her tears and just let the tears flow. She held the pillow tightly and tried to keep her cries from being heard by Jerome. Cheyenne was crying so hard that she never heard the knocks at the door, or the door open.

"Hey I couldn't sleep so –" Marques started as he walked in; he immediately stopped as he saw Cheyenne's red puffy eyes. "You aiight?"

"Yea I'm cool." She said as she sat up, wiping the tears off her face.

Marques sat beside her with a disbelieving smile, "Come on tell ya nigga what up."

Cheyenne smiled weakly at him, "Shit, I should have known you wouldn't fall for that."

Marques laughed lightly, "Now tell me what's on? Is it J?"

As he said J her eyes fell to the floor and she laid her head back on the pillow, "Yea, we had another fight. But it ain't like the other ones."

Marques raised an eyebrow and looked down at her as if she was crazy, "Now how  is that?"

"This fight was about the way I live my life, well you couldn't  call it a fight. We didn't argue, I just told him about my date and he gives me that same damn shit. In addition, I proposed for him to let me live my life on my terms and I would stay out of his shit. Well, after I said that I opened some shit. He got really pissed and was like 'In my own psychotic way I was trying to help you'. Then he said he would just stay out of my life and that he expects me to do that too.  After that he went to his room and slammed the door, and he wouldn't let me talk." Cheyenne sighed deeply and blinked rapidly for a few moments, " I think this is different is cause I saw it his eyes, there was this look that I never seen  before. It scared me Marques that was the first time I was ever frightened by him. That's why it's different."

"Have you ever thought that maybe he looks at you differently than you think he does?" Marques asked his eyebrows raised with an inquiring look on his face.

Cheyenne stood up and sat on the windowsill looking out the window, "No, I know he cares for me but J couldn't look at me like that. That's not possible, we are friends and nothin more. And J knows that I know he wants a woman to love and a woman who will love him back and dammit I want that for him. Shit, he knows I can't love a man. I don't want one of those relationships. That's NOT me."

Marques chuckled lightly; "Do you what you sayin Chy? You act like you haven't spent the last 18 years of your life with him! He knows you inside and out, I think he knows that you can love and he wants to be that man. Cheyenne you know you are nothin without Rome and he is nothing without you. So how'bout we both go to bed and put this out of our minds. Because if I know you, you will never accept the fact that it could be true."

Cheyenne stood up, "Yea I guess. Night Bathead, thanks for yo' lil wisdom."

Marques gave her a hug and kissed her on the head, "Nothin to it, I just hope you realize them on your own before you hurt my boy so bad he gives up. "

"Yea." She whispered as he was walking out, but he suddenly stopped and turned to her, " Can I tell you somethin about Jerome?"

"Yea but I hope it's not somethin I know." He turned to face her and said, "J don't like to hurt people, it don't come easy for him. But, he can do it when he mad enough and mad is the worse way to have him. And the sight of him pissed is something I hate to have too. And so most of the time he just kind of moves out of the way of conflict, so if he does have those feelings for you, yo' are gonna have to pull them to the surface because he won't." And Marques left, Cheyenne bit her lips and looked over at Jerome's door and quietly tip toed over to it.

Cheyenne slowly opened the door, the light from the lamp shined dimly into the room. The light softly hit Jerome's sleeping body, he was tangled in sheets and his brows were creased as if he was having a bad dream. Cheyenne slowly walked over to his bed and stood for a minute just looking at him. She softly caressed his face, thoughts running through her head, she bent down and kissed the top of his head. And walked toward the door before she left she turned and whispered, "I'm sorry J."