When I arrived on Sol 3, or Earth as it is more widely known, I was firstly amazed that it doesn't rain more often. I beamed down to Starfleet Academy, and immediately found trouble by materialising in an Admiral's office, in the middle of a meeting. After apologising profusely to the Admiral, he smiled and accepted my apology, before ordering me to a cadet detention facility in Detroit, Michigan.
A month later, I shuttled back to San Francisco and joined Starfleet by more regular means. I was signed up by the Medical Corps and began to attend my lessons. It was deadly boring! At first, we just read text on computer terminals and then, one day in Biology class, we had to dissect a dead gray wolf. I got into more trouble, when I cut off one of my wolf's paws and slipped it into another cadet's medical kit. She screamed, and I knew the game was up when a stuck up Vulcan called Sorka claimed he had seen me perpetrating the act.
I tried quite a few practical jokes in those first few weeks at the Academy, but nobody seemed to have much of a sense of humour. Even my Klingon room mate, Mulloff stopped talking to me. One evening, I asked him why he did not find anything I did or said funny. He replied "I am Mulloff, Son of Kintyre. The House of Kintyre does not find annoying Ferengii rats amusing". Next day, he moved out.
I felt lonely, but fortunately, the first term finished shortly after. I visited Rome, Edinburgh and Paris for three weeks. During that time, I did some hard thinking and decided I would try harder in class and to study more diligently. It was obvious messing around did not make me happy.
I returned with a new sense of commitment to my studies. I found I enjoyed Stellar Cartography, Biology and Medicine the most. I found I was very adept at growing cultures, and understanding the theory behind vaccines. When my fellow cadets saw how hard I was trying, they began to talk to me again. In fact, I was invited to all their evenings out and social activities. After all, not many Ferengi have been to the Academy, and I was seen as something of a celebrity. They loved me!
However, I was still a loner at heart. I was glad when my examinations were finally over, but I was very disappointed with my final grades. I felt I had tried much harder than some cadets. In fact, the only subject I failed was Command. I passed the rest, with varying degrees of success.
While I was on Earth, I tried all types of food and drink. I enjoyed your Hewmon food the best. I didn't really like alcohol, especially after the night I woke up on an underwater submersible with a goat and a tricorder, on the surface of the Pacific Ocean. I don't remember how I got there. I am partial to fruity wine with a nice meal though. When I finally left the Academy, I had seen much of America, Africa and a little of Europe. I enjoy revisiting Earth on my vacations.
