Title: Black Eyes, Blue Tears
Author: Amiroq. the KiTfox (of the Wolves)
Email: fitchett@netaccess.co.nz
Size: 20K
Rating: NR
Codes: Angst, Rape, Violence, Other
Summary: B'Elanna and Chakotay's relationship is put to the test when an old acquaintance
restarts old games. Set sometime early second season.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek. Dedicated with love to Jessi Hawkins, aka Jess in Oz.

This story contains graphic non-consentual sex. It should be rated NC-17, but I feel that
rating just *doesn't go* with that sort of sex. That and the fact that, frankly, I'm scared
to label a story NC-17. :)
 
 

Black Eyes, Blue Tears
 

It was decidedly hot in Engineering.

Kathryn had decreed that Harry and B'Elanna work together on a major project, problem
solving for perhaps a week or more to find a solution to the stubborn variance in the phase
barriers that just wouldn't adjust, no matter how hard B'Elanna worked her staff.

Chakotay had arrived an hour ago to help.

B'Elanna saw Harry holding back a smile out of the corner of her eye as Chakotay shot her
another look, and glared at him. His smile got bigger. So did her glare.

She glanced at the time, and sighed. It was still only 1847. That meant another thirteen
minutes before she got off shift. Another thirteen minutes before she and Chakotay were due
to go to the holodeck for a little R&R... A smile crept across her lips. Harry sniggered.
She glared at him again.

...1848.

---

The corridor was almost deserted that night, as she and Chakotay walked to his quarters on
Deck Two. Deserted enough, at least, for them to carry on a reasonably private conversation
without being overheard. "So then he convinced them he was a doctor, diagnosed a few of
their patients, guessed the treatments, and was given an escort out of the systems for his
help," Chakotay finished. B'Elanna chuckled.

"What happened to him, anyway?"

"He joined another unit. He was getting too well known in our area. It's a pity. I think
you would have liked him."

"He'd have been great out here."

"So are you."

She smiled, shaking her head. "Must you say that every time we start a conversation?"

"It's true. We could never have gotten this far without you. You remember that first
anomaly? Even a week into the DQ, you sav-" A crewman turning the corner a little too
quickly, banging into them.

"Uh, sorry, Commander, Lieu-" He stopped when he saw just who it was he was addressing, and
folded his arms. "Lieutenant," he finished slowly. "Didn't expect to see you here."

A faint growl rolled out of B'Elanna's throat. Chakotay looked back and forth between them.
"You two know each other?"

"You could say that," B'Elanna said stiffly. She brushed past him, all remnants of her
previous good mood shattered. Chakotay had to jog to catch up.

"Who was that?"

"Just someone I met in the Academy. We had a fight, and didn't speak again until just now.
Nothing to tell."

He let it drop, knowing the way her moods swung, and made a mental note to question her
casually later before attempting to pick up the pieces of her shattered mood.

---

"Computer, is Lieutenant Torres *alone*?" Mack Daamen asked. He stood outside B'Elanna's
quarters, a twisted smile on his face.

"Affirmative."

He nodded, grinning, before tapping the keypad by the door a few times, successfully.
B'Elanna looked up as the door opened, and jumped to her feet and swung behind the couch in
one motion. "Computer, lock door to my voiceprint only," he ordered. There was a beep as
his request was carried out. "Long time no see, hey babe?"

"Don't call me that," she growled. "And don't come near me."

He took a few steps toward her. "Is that *fear* I see? Imagine that. You, a half Klingon,
scared of little ol' me?"

"Get away, Daamen, or I'll call Security."

"It'll take them a couple of minutes to get here. You want to know what I can do to you in
two minutes?"

"You can do a lot more if I don't." She eyed him as he moved even closer. If she screamed,
would anyone hear?

He lunged suddenly, and she pulled away - but not fast enough. He grabbed her wrists
tightly with one hand and plucked her commbadge off with the other before letting go and
moving around her quarters a little, throwing it up, and catching it; thowing it, catching
it, throwing, catching, throwing, catching. She folded her arms tightly, and he laughed
before pocketing his commbadge with her own and walking back toward her. "Too slow, babe."
He grabbed her again, pulling her toward him, and kissed her roughly. He broke it off when
she bit, grinning. "Ooh, I love it when you fight. You *know* I'm stronger than you."

"You're *crazy*."

"And you're *damn* sexy when you can't decide whether to be spitting mad or scared
shitless. Funny feeling, isn't it, when a full human's stronger than you? Bet you missed
me."

"Don't kid yourself."

He punched her, a blow that would have sent her halfway across the room had he not been
holding her so tightly. For a moment she felt nothing, then pain seared across her jaw. She
tried to yank her hands free, then kicked him. He grimaced slightly, then grinned. "Oh,
come on. You don't really think that's gonna work?" He kissed her again, biting her back
when she tried, enjoying the coppery taste of her blood, and yanked the zip of her uniform
top down so hard it dug into the back of her neck. Shoving her against the wall, he forced
his knee between her legs and pulled off the jacket, undoing the back of her turtleneck at
the same time, a feat he'd learned through practice.

He ripped the blue-grey fabric off, causing her to gasp in pain as the tiny fibres slapped
into her sensitive skin. He slipped his hands under her bra, and she took the opportunity
to hit him, digging her nails into his neck and drawing blood. If anything, the pain just
seemed to heighten his fervour as he tore the bra off and drew his own nails down her back.

He took her right nipple between his fingers, forcing it to erection with a hard rubbing
action, squeezing it almost flat. She cried out, and he leaned down to bite it, at first
hard, then nibbling. With his other hand he dove beneath the hem of her trousers, exploring
her wet core violently.

He paused long enough to pull off his own uniform, kicking off his boots and shedding the
somber black outer jacket at the same time. She tried to push him aside while he was
occupied, but again failed, and in retaliation he kneed her in the stomach before tearing
off her pants.

He slid into her, enjoying the tightness caused by her fear. She gasped as he entered, and
moaned in pain, and he kissed her again, forcing her mouth open with his tongue. He pushed
into her hard with each stroke, pulling back so far that he almost came out entirely and
shoving himself back in with as much strength as he could muster. Each time, she yelped a
little as he purposely rubbed against her sensitive spots.

When he reached a climax, he *did* pull out entirely. He groaned as he came, pressing his
hands into her breasts. "Gee, Torres," he muttered, "you haven't changed a bit, have you?"

She considered slapping him, but remembered the hard punch to her jaw earlier, still
aching, and decided against it. He pulled out of her and stepped back, grinning nastily,
and started to get dressed. She ignored him and took her clothes to the replicator on the
way in to get a new uniform.

The door swished shut while she was in the bedroom and she stood still, listening, to see
if he had really gone. If he hadn't, he was being very quiet. She let herself slide to the
floor and curled up in a small ball.

---

Chakotay stepped into the tired messhall and paused by the door, looking around the closer
tables for the waving figure he expected. She wasn't there. Instead, she sat morosely on
the far side, away from anyone else, staring out the window. Even from here, he could see
that her food was largely untouched, and as he got closer he saw no tendrils of stream
reaching up from it to attempt to strangle the ventilation system, only to fail each time.
"Not hungry?" he asked when he reached her side. She looked up sharply, startled, and he
frowned inwardly. That was not like her *at all*. B'Elanna always knew what was going on
around her, unless she was engrossed in a computer malfunction or PADD.

"Not really," she answered, closing her knife and fork and pushing the plate away. He sat
down and faced her, getting confortable before examining her face for any clues as to what
was bothering her.

"Anything wrong?"

"No." She was awfully quick to admit it, barely letting him finish the question.

"B'Elanna, I know you. You can't really think you can hide from me." She looked away,
staring out the window again, although now it was just to avoid his gaze.

"There's nothing wrong, Chakotay," she said levelly. "I'm just tired."

"Tired."

"Yes. Tired."

She glared at him, laser beams that tore into his sensitive eyes, and he thought he saw red
for a moment until he blinked. "Alright. We can do this tomorrow."

She nodded, already preoccupied with the repetitive view outside the window.

He walked away, thinking, why do I bother?

---

Studying his PADD as hard as he could, knowing he would be cross-examined on it until they
reached Federation space, Harry didn't see the tall figure turning the corner until it was
not quite too late. He backed up quickly, and stepped aside to let the securist past -
Daamen? - before turning and heading past a few doors to B'Elanna's quarters. Three
quarters way through, and he was.. two minutes late. He put off ringing the chime for
another minute or so, then made a promise to himself that he would just make something up,
and that this would be the absolute last time he got Daria Wolfe to do a report for him.

There was no answer for four minutes, seventeen seconds, as the chrono on the PADD told him
- hey, who was he to keep promises to himself? He had to read it eventually - then he heard
a 'Who is it?'

Odd. She knew he was coming. "Harry," he called. There was another pause - forty seven
seconds - before the door opened. B'Elanna was wearing a robe and not much else, it looked
like, and had obviously just washed. "You knew I was coming," he said, more to avoid
looking at her wine-red robe than anything else.

"I forgot. Sorry." She took it from him and closed the door, and he frowned. Extremely odd.

---

Luckily, B'Elanna was in the bedroom the next time Mack came visiting, and realised what
was happening as soon as she heard the door opening. She had the presence of mind to run
for the bathroom and lock the door, then looked around for something blunt and heavy, just
in case. There was nothing.

She could hear him trying to override the lock even over the thumping of her heart, and
tried to remember all the things they had taught her in those self-defence classes in the
Academy. Attack position... was that it? Her mind was just such a blur, she couldn't think
straight with that damned tapping and beeping, it was driving her crazy, killing her slowly
but surely and he didn't he just smash the damned thing in and get it over with? because he
was going to get it eventually anyway and this was probably just going to make him madder
and it was crazy but she still didn't open the door because she needed these moments of
peace.-Some peace!

Finally she couldn't stand it anymore and just ordered the computer to open the door. Then
came the brief seconds of waiting - where was he? She was ready for him, ready to put up a
fight, where was he? She missed him coming in, and the next thing she knew she was back in
the bedroom with blood in her mouth - hers. She swallowed, the coppery fiery taste burning
down her throat, and dimly felt another punch, to her stomach this time, before she slid
to the floor. He pulled her back up, and held her firmly with one hand while slugging her
with the other. He must have hit her in the head at one stage, though she couldn't remember
when, because she had a pounding headache near her left temple.

After a long while he stopped, and when she came to her senses - partially, at least, and 
now she was thinking with the clarity that only comes when you're half out of it - he was
pacing back and forth. Something occured to her

(how's he going to get out of this?)

briefly, but her head hurt when she thought about it, and she made a small moaning noise.
He turned and looked at her - no, stared - as if he didn't know who she was or what she was
doing battered and bruised hunched in a ball on the floor. Then he shook his head, muttered
something, and threw something small and hard at her. It was a vial, or a tube, of some
kind, and as she was looking at it he said, "I need thirty of those - filled - by 1700. Or
else." She stared at it a while, trying to work out what it was, before she realised
(though she'd only ever seen one, at the Academy, when they were doing a banned substances
unit in biological studies) that it was a drug cannister. She looked up slowly to protest,
but he was gone.

How could she get thirty of those? She'd have to replicate them, and that would attract the
Captain's attention. A senior officer, replicating drugs banned by the Federation.
Addictive, halluciogenic drugs, no less. How could she? But he probably knew all that, or
else he'd have got them himself. The *bastard*.

More important though, she realised dimly as 

(blood) 

something trickled down her back, was getting to Sickbay. How was *she* going to explain
this? *He* had nothing to do with it. It was her that was going to have to make up the
story. Holodeck, part of her whispered. Things are always happening on the holodeck. Okay,
good. Now get.

---

"It must have been some character to get you this hurt," Kes commented.

"I got him just as bad, don't worry," she replied. Part of her whispered, yeah, in your
dreams! But she chose to ignore it.

The blonde-haired Ocampan put down her tricorder and surveyed B'Elanna seriously. "You had
the safeties off, didn't you?"

Safeties. Damn. She'd forgotten about that. "Yeah. I had them off for some things before
that, and couldn't be bothered putting them back on. I didn't think Phaserpoint would be
that dangerous."

"I think you'd better keep them on from now on. You have a concussion, and a little
internal bleeding. He must have hit you pretty hard. I'll get the Doctor, he'll be able to
treat it better."

"Thanks."

---

Chakotay frowned.

Sandrine's was dark, as usual, and the pool sharks drifted freely through the groups of
real people near the pool table, as usual. He spotted Harry and Tom playing pool, and a
dark-haired hologram hanging off Tom's arm - that was all good, nothing wrong there - but
if he turned around he also saw B'Elanna in the darkest corner of all with something dark
amber in a glass. That was definitely not normal. Usually she'd come straight over to sit
with him, and wouldn't drink anything stronger than shandy. She was also usually easily
seen coming in, but today he didn't know *when* she'd entered - he only knew she hadn't
been there when he came in. Something was wrong.

He'd started to get up when the ensign in blue holding a PADD walked up to her and sat
down, handing her a PADD. She looked at him, then at the PADD, and said something that
sparked off a brief conversation. He picked up his bag from under the table and left.
B'Elanna picked up her drink again, and sunk lower into her chair with a look of pure
misery on her face.

Something was wrong.

She glanced up as he approached, then back at her glass, half full of what Chakotay thought
must be whiskey. "How's it going?" he asked.

"Fine."

"Getting enough sleep?"

"Why?"

"You look a little tired. We haven't talked for a few days, I thought I'd come over and see
if you were alright."

She shrugged. "I'm fine."

"So why are you sitting in the corner with a glass of whiskey, which you absolutely never
drink? Why don't you join Tom and Harry?"

"Pool's a two player game."

"Come on, B'Elanna." He sighed. "What's up with you? I'm getting really worried."

"Nothing!"

Before he could answer, Harry came over and asked B'Elanna to play pool with him, pointing
out the young lieutenant from Engineering Tom was seducing. She shook her head slowly. "I'm
talking to Chakotay. Another time?"

"Sure."

Chakotay could tell he was disappointed as he turned back to B'Elanna. "You aren't talking
to me."

"Yes I am."

"You'd said five sentences. And four of them were two words or less."

"I'm just not in a sociable mood right now, alright? Is that a crime now?"

She got up to leave, and he turned in his chair to call after her, "So why did you come
here?"

She barely glanced over her shoulder.

---

As she packed tubes into a bag, B'Elanna's mind was furiously at work. Not to say it wasn't
always, but now, frankly, she was thinking about things she'd only ever wondered briefly in
the Academy. What was it like to get high? It must be pretty damn good if people like
Daamen went to such risks to get drugs. These particular ones were halluciogenics, but she
knew there were other kinds. Some, like Speed and LST was it? 'enhanced' the senses. But
halluciogenics had always intrigued her the most. What did you see?

She held one a moment before putting it in the bag, studying it carefully. It wasn't very
big. How long did it last? She'd heard it was about an hour or two, but that could have
been something else. She shrugged. No matter; if one was missing Daamen would notice, and
then there'd be trouble. She frowned. What if there already was trouble? Had she slipped up
while covering her tracks? What if she was discovered?

She glanced back at the cannister in her hand, then at the replicator. Just once? It
couldn't hurt, after all. She finished packing them into the bag, pushed it aside, and
strode over to the replicator.

---

Kathryn sighed, pressing her thumb and forefinger into her temples. She'd been sitting in
her readyroom for two hours without moving now, and she was getting bedsores. She shifted
uncomfortably, and opened the new crew timetable Chakotay had sent to her. Or tried to.
Instead, she found she'd slipped and opened the file beneath - replicator records. About 
to close it, she paused. That was odd. A couple of lines were blank - that meant someone
was trying not to let her see what it was they were replicating. She frowned, and performed
a diagnostic on one. It was from Deck 9, Section 12, Corridor 93, and those particular
quarters - B'Elanna's? Certainly she had the skill to cover her tracks like that. She tried
a few more things, and just as she was about to give up, the results appeared on the
screen.

She read it carefully - once, twice. A third time, just to make sure. Then she tapped her
commbadge. "Janeway to Chakotay."

---

"What did you think you were doing?" Chakotay demanded. "No wonder you've been acting so
strangely. Don't you *know* those are addictive?"

B'Elanna didn't even bother looking at him, instead glaring out the window, sulking.

"How long?"

"*Once*."

"Don't expect me to believe that. You replicated well over a hundred doses, B'Elanna."

"I only did it once."

"So what happened to the rest?"

Her glare grew a little more intense, and she tore her gaze away from the stars to the
green-brown velvet of the couch. "I can't say."

He sat down next to her. "Look, B'El, the tests all came back positive. I only want to
help--"

"Then mind your own fucking business! I'm not a child."

"But you need help. You can't shake this by yourself."

"There's nothing to shake! I'm not addicted."

"Please, B'El, just--"

"Don't call me that."

"Fine. Can't you just admit you have a problem?"

"I *don't have* a problem."

"We checked the records. These.. things have been being replicated almost since we arrived
in the Delta Quadrant. You have a problem."

"You can't prove it was me replicating them."

"The last three were. It stands to reason the rest were as well."

"They weren't."

The doorchime cut off any arguements he might have had, and he sighed. "I'll see you
later." As he left, Harry entered.

"I've been hearing the strangest things about you, Torres," he said, and she could hear
what he didn't - are they true?

"The drugs?"

"So it's true."

"No. Everyone's jumping to conclusions, that's all. It looks bad, I know, but none of it's
true."

He sat down next to her and tried to catch her eye. "What happened?"

She shook her head slowly. "I can't explain. Just.. you have to believe me, Harry. I tried
them, once. And then it showed up in all the blood tests and everyone thinks I've been
doing them for years. It's not true."

"Why can't you explain?"

"I just can't!"

He didn't answer for a moment, thinking about that. "You were getting them for someone
else?"

Now it was her turn not to say anything, which he took for a yes.

"Obviously you wouldn't just for the fun of it, right? So that means you were being
threatened. Right so far?" No answer. "Okay, so someone *else* has been getting them the
hard way all this time. Which means if I work at the records hard enough, I won't have to
sit here naming everyone on the ship until I get it right. Sound good?"

She nodded slightly.

"Didn't Chakotay even *try* thinking of alternatives?"

"No."

"I'll find out who it was. I promise." He stood up, and was almost at the door when she
said something. "What?" He half-turned.

"Nothing."

He looked at her a moment, trying to work out if she was telling the truth, then left. She
growled at herself. //You're so *stupid*!// she thought. //God, why didn't you say it
again? It's Mack Daamen. *Mack Daamen*. It's not that hard!// But now he was gone, and she
knew that if she had been able to say it a second time, she wouldn't be able to chase after
him.

---

Deck 15, section 7, corridor 102. Malfunction in empty crew quarters causing trouble for
the power all over the ship. You found the strangest things while working in Engineering.

It didn't take long for B'Elanna to locate the problem and adjust the relays to fix it -
ten, fifteen minutes, max. She was packing up her toolbox when the door opened. She froze,
*feeling* the breathing of the person, *feeling* footfalls walking toward her. Only one
person walked like that. The familiar feeling of dread spread into her gut, like putting
rocks into a bag, making it heavier bit by bit by bit until she felt she couldn't stand it
anymore because her arms would fall off if another single stone were put in - or she would
have a nervous breakdown. But now he was closer, perhaps only a few metres away, as his
footfalls were the same volume, but she could hear them easier now, due to the shortened
distance. She fought to unfreeze her muscles.

Now.

She spun as he came closer, ready with a punch to where his jaw would be, but her fist
struck nothing but air. She looked side to side to down to up in one go, adrenalin
qhickening her reactions, but there was no one there. There was no sound in the room. No
other breathing, no other voice. She turned slowly, once, twice. No one. Had she really
*imagined* that? Made herself believe that he was coming, that he was right behind her? It
seemed hard to believe, but it was the only answer. "Computer where is Mack Daamen?"

"Ensign Mack Daamen is on Deck 6, section 32." Just near the messhall. He couldn't have
done it. She'd imagined it all.

She sat down eternally slow, leaning heavily on the sofa which might have been dusty in
another time and place. He was driving her crazy. She'd been done for drug abuse, and he
was driving her crazy.

---

Ten minutes later, the doors whooshed open - this time for real. She looked up, and
automatically reeached for something heavy as he came closer. There was nothing in reach.

---

Chakotay walked through the corridors of Deck 15 with confusion in his thoughts. According
to Carey, it had been a full two hours since she'd come down to fix the power fluxes, and
it so should not have taken that long to fix. Twenty minutes, maybe, even up to forty, but
definitely no more than an hour.

He found the quarters she'd been working in, and opened the door. There was no one in
sight, so he entered and explored. The computer said she was here, but there was no answer.

---

Harry had been working at the logs for a full seven hours straight when he finally hit on
something that worked. He waited impatiently while the results came up, read them, saved
them, and tried the same formula on some other blanked out records, and got the same
results. He loaded them to a PADD, and stood up to go.

---

The call to go to Sickbay came just after he'd left his quarters. He noted the tone of the
Doctor's voice with worry - this was definitely unusual, but he was more concerned with
getting these results to the Captain. Of course, the Doctor had said this most definitely
could not wait, so really he had no choice.

The Captain was in Sickbay anyway. She and Chakotay both looked up as he entered, but he
could only look past them to the Doctor, pulling a sheet up over the form on the biobed.

---

He was told later, in the Doctor's office, by Kathryn that it had been an overdose of
trixodene, while Chakotay stood alone in main Sickbay next to the bed. He gave her his
information, the proof he'd needed two hours ago when she'd still been alive to save, but
it didn't seem to matter anymore whether or not Mack was caught. He'd done too much, gone
too far.

It didn't matter.

FINIS