Disclaimer: Star Trek
Voyager and its characters are the property of Paramount. This story is not
meant to infringe upon the trademarks or copyrights of Paramount.
Kath's notes: It has been
established that Chakotay is not from Dorvan V; however, for the purposes of
this story his village was there. Also, Khia is an indigenous dog from that
planet, a dog that lives a very long time. ;-) Nothing in this story claims to
be canon, it is merely here for your enjoyment.
*****
"Hold please!"
called out a hurried voice. Chakotay placed a hand on the turbolift’s door to
prevent it from closing. Janeway ran in, practically knocking him over, pulling
his arm off the door, which then closed.
"Deck 7!"
Chakotay instructed the turbolift.
"I’m sorry
Commander," spluttered Janeway, trying to catch her breath.
"It’s quite
alright," murmured Chakotay, thinking he wouldn’t mind having her run into
him more often. "In a hurry?"
"Yes, I’m late
actually." She gave him a smile. "There is a gathering in the mess
hall to celebrate the new arrival. And I gather there is still a contest with
regards to a name, so I thought I’d add my suggestion to the bunch."
"What is your
suggestion?" inquired the commander with a grin.
"Well," she gave
him a sly look, "I was going to suggest Owen, but then I thought Tom
wouldn’t appreciate it. Or maybe he would…" she added thoughtfully.
"Why Owen?"
wondered Chakotay aloud.
"Owen is Tom’s
father’s name," Janeway admitted. Chakotay chuckled. "Rather than
upset Tom, I thought I’d put in Alexander instead. After Alexander the Great,
of course."
"Of course,"
agreed Chakotay. They exited the lift together, Janeway walking at a much
calmer pace now.
"Aren’t you
coming?" she asked him, when he slowed.
"No," he shook
his head. "But you can throw my name suggestion into pile if you
like."
"What name is
that?" She tried not to show her disappointment.
"Hmmm," he
thought for a moment. "How ‘bout Leylo?"
"Leylo? Did you just
pull that out of the air?"
"Leylo is my
brother’s name," he told her. "Well, it’s not really his name, but
it’s what we called him."
Janeway was at a loss for
a moment. He turned to go.
"I didn’t know you
had a brother," she finally said, as an explanation for her shock. He half
turned back to her, with a grin.
"There’s a lot about
me you don’t know, Captain." And then he continued on his way, leaving her
standing alone in the corridor.
*****
Janeway didn’t enjoy the
party as much as she thought she was going to. She wasn’t quite ready to
attribute this to the fact that Chakotay had decided not to come, but she
suspected his presence would have improved her good time enormously. In the
back of her mind she replayed their conversation in the corridor. She didn’t
know why, but it bothered her a little that she hadn’t known about his brother.
It wasn’t on his warrant for arrest….or was it?
Without really thinking
about it Janeway made to leave the gathering. She’d already suggested Alexander
and Leylo as baby names, giving Chakotay’s good wishes as well as her own.
There was no reason for her to hang around now. And probably everyone would
relax a bit more once the Captain was out of the room. At least that was the
excuse she gave herself for leaving a social event in order to return to her
quarters and examine an old computer file.
It was a very old file, in
more than just age, one she hadn’t looked at for a very long time. In fact, she
hadn’t even thought about it for so long that she sometimes forgot about
Chakotay’s criminal past. The photo with the warrant showed an angry man,
scowling. She wondered which surveillance team had caught him. She wondered
what he’d been doing at the time.
Leaving the photo, her
eyes scanned down the rest of the file. He was wanted for crimes against the
Federation/Cardassian Treaty. They were very specifically listed there. She had
read this before taking Voyager into the Badlands. She had thought she’d known
Chakotay via Tuvok’s reports prior to this mission. But now, reading over his
list of crimes she realized that she hadn’t known anything. He was accused of
bombing ammunitions depots, of attacking cargo ships along a trade route, of
breaking into a Cardassian rehabilitation centre….
Janeway gave a snort.
Rehabilitation centre indeed! That was just a fancy name for a prison camp,
which for the Cardassians meant nothing more than a torture chamber. Breaking
into a Cardassian prison? Breaking *into*? He must have been trying to get
someone out, she decided thoughtfully.
Other crimes were more
vague but equally as dangerous from the Cardassian point of view. He was quite
good at rallying troops; he inspired the cause. He taught the Maquis tactical
maneuvers. Janeway suddenly recalled that Chakotay’s career in Starfleet had
included teaching.
There was no mention of a
brother in the arrest warrant. The only family mentioned was in an attachment,
which stated that his mother had been questioned about his whereabouts. She had
not been very cooperative. Or maybe she really hadn’t known, Janeway thought
sadly. Prior to this Delta Quadrant experience Janeway would have assumed that
she was purposely hiding him too. But now…
Janeway wondered when her
view of the Maquis had changed. She supposed it had been a gradual process,
much like the integration of the Maquis into the Starfleet crew.
Well there was more than
one way to investigate his family. Janeway dismissed the warrant with a flick
of her wrist, hoping she would never have to look at it again. She called up
Chakotay’s Starfleet record. This was also something she had already read, just
prior to suggesting to him that they merge their crews. It was always a good
idea to know your bedfellows. She smothered a giggle at the cliché.
His record at Starfleet
was exemplary. He’d been smart, he’d excelled at his academics. His top skills
listed were in tactical strategies, and piloting, and his performance as an
instructor had earned him high praise. No wonder Necheyev wanted his hide so
badly, Janeway thought. What a blow to Starfleet to have such a bright star
defect to another camp! He’d also been an able athlete. The computer had cross
referenced his name to several of the Academy’s teams, even after graduation he’d
been a coach.
He certainly is good with
people, thought Janeway, leaning back in her chair. After watching him work she
could have added administrator to his list of skills. It was odd, to read this
file now, now that she knew him as a person and not just as the name of a
rebel.
It was also odd that there
was no mention of family in his Starfleet personnel file. Of course, she was
only accessing the public record. Perhaps in the private records there would be
a more detailed back history for him. All she found was that he’d come from
Dorvan V, where his mother still lived.
That she’d already known.
Janeway closed the files
feeling a bit ashamed for her sudden burst of curiousity into her First
Officer’s personal life. If he wanted her to know these things, he would have
told her. But she couldn’t help but reflect for a moment on it. While she had
heard him talk of his father, not without some pain, and she even remembered
him mentioning an uncle, she could not recall him speak of his mother. Who was
the woman that Starfleet had questioned on the whereabouts of her rebel son?
How had she felt about the paths he’d chosen?
And Janeway was absolutely
certain she had never heard Chakotay mention his brother before casually
tossing out his name in the corridor this evening.
*There’s a lot you don’t
know about me, Captain,* he’d said.
What else, Chakotay? What
else?
*****
Janeway sought out
B’Elanna in the mess hall the following morning at breakfast. Of course, the
Captain knew that she should drop this prying into Chakotay’s personal life.
Or, if she must pursue it, then she should simply ask him. But she felt,
rightly or wrongly, that if he’d wanted to share his family with her, then he
would have by now. And as much as she knew she should stop, she couldn’t help
but want to know more about him and the kind of family life he’d had.
"You know what I was
thinking about last night?" Janeway started the conversation. As Torres
had her mouth full, the Captain continued without waiting for a response.
"I was thinking about when my sister was born. I was so jealous of the
attention my mother gave her."
Torres chewed slowly, not
sure what to say to this.
"But," Janeway
pushed on, "I suppose it is like that in most families. Siblings being
what they are…"
"I wouldn’t know,
Captain," Torres said shortly, taking another bite to avoid having to say
more.
"I was quite
surprised by Commander Chakotay’s name suggestion," Janeway said casually,
"I hadn’t realized he even had a brother. Did you ever meet him?"
Torres swallowed, not sure
how to reply. If the Captain was wanting to know about Leylo, why didn’t she
talk to Chakotay? Unless, unless maybe the Captain already knew about Leylo…
"Yes, I did meet him.
Twice, I think it was," Torres told her, gathering another mouthful onto
her fork. She missed the Captain’s eyes light up.
When Torres said nothing
else, Janeway realized she was going to have to continue to draw the
information out of her.
"Younger
brother?" she guessed. Torres nodded. "In the Maquis?"
"I first met Leylo
when I went for dinner at Chakotay’s mother’s place. We, uh…"
"You went for dinner
at his family home?" interrupted Janeway, placing a hand on the other
woman’s arm.
"Sure, it wasn’t so
unusual, really, as long as we were careful. Chakotay was well known in the
village after all, if there’d been any trouble he had contacts to warn him to
stay away." Torres paused to take another bite. "I must say I was
rather surprised by the dinner. Not about the food, but about the … the number of
people who were there!"
"The whole
neighbourhood join in, that kind of thing?" Janeway leaned back, enjoying
the tale more than her meal.
"Oh no," Torres
shook her head. "It was all family. Chakotay has a big family, Captain.
Especially," Torres gave a little snort of disgust, "compared to
mine."
"More brothers?"
wondered Janeway aloud, leaning forward again.
"No," Torres
said again, "only Leylo. Leylo and three sisters …"
"Tuvok to Captain
Janeway!" Janeway’s badge chirped at her. "Are you taking your bridge
shift today?"
Janeway slapped a palm to
her forehead. Torres looked on with amused eyes.
"Yes, thank you
Tuvok. I will be right there," Janeway informed the comm badge.
"A little late,
Captain?" Torres asked, as she too, rose from the table.
"I guess our chat was
far more interesting than watching the chronometer!"
*****
"Hey, Chakotay! Had
enough, or do you want me to thrash you again?" Torres teased him.
Chakotay leaned over,
resting his hands on his thighs, breathing heavily.
"Let’s call it a
day," he decided. "You’ve got me beat."
Torres shut down the
program and exited with Chakotay. She felt in glorious shape; despite her
gloating it wasn’t that often that she could beat Chakotay so thoroughly at
Hoverball. He was a worthy opponent. And playing with him always reminded
Torres of the closeness of their friendship.
As they waited for the
turbolift she watched him. His mind was obviously elsewhere, certainly he
hadn’t been concentrating on their game.
"You know what I was
thinking about the other day?" she asked.
"What’s that?"
he asked, returning his attention to her.
"That time we went
over to your mother’s place for dinner. You remember? It seemed like your whole
family showed up…"
Chakotay smiled a sad
smile. Torres suddenly wished she hadn’t mentioned it. Sometimes memories were
best left in the back of one’s mind.
"That was a good
time," he agreed, entering the lift. "What on earth made you think of
that?"
Then,
"Leylo," they
both said together.
"Has a name been
chosen?" he asked, changing the topic.
*****
The sun was setting,
casting a rosy glow on the walls of the houses they were passing in the
village. Chakotay’s boots raised the dust as they scuffled along the trail.
They walked without haste, something B’Elanna could not recall doing for some
time now. Most of the occupants of the homes they walked by were inside. It was
the dinner hour, she could smell a variety of dishes from the open windows,
causing her stomach to rumble. Hunger was something with which she *was*
familiar. A few stragglers, heading for their suppers, strolled past them,
nodding in recognition to Chakotay, who smiled in return.
He was tense. He was
always tense these days. The tenseness lived in his shoulders, in his back, she
could see it there. She knew he’d been seeing a Bajoran woman off and on for
the past few months. B’Elanna was ambivalent to their relationship, although
she hoped that it would relieve some of the weight he carried. Somehow, she doubted
that a sexual release would help him.
Suddenly the quiet evening
was shattered by the barking of a dog barrelling towards them. Instinctively
B’Elanna raised her phaser, feeling that they must be under attack from
someone. But Chakotay lifted a gentle arm to lower the weapon, just as the dog
launched itself on top of him. The two crashed to the ground rolling over one
another in the dry dirt.
It took B’Elanna a moment
to realize the words he was speaking, to the dog, were not ones she recognized.
She was surprised by this, although when she thought about it, it made a lot of
sense that English wasn’t Chakotay’s mother-tongue. Still, in the time she’d
known him, she’d never heard him speak but a few words, mostly profanity, in
another language. Even then, most of those oaths were Klingon, most of them
taught by her.
Chakotay and the dog
finally finished rolling in the dirt. He stood, brushing as much of the dust
off his clothes as he could, with the dog jumping and barking all around him.
"Just in case anyone
didn’t know we were coming…" B’Elanna commented. Chakotay laughed. It was
a rare and pleasant sound. Was it her imagination, or did his tension seem less
now? Well, if all it took was a roll on the ground with an animal perhaps she
should look into getting him a dog.
"B’Elanna, meet
Khia." The dog stopped jumping and sat, with her head inclined to one
side. B’Elanna bent over and gave her a pet on the head. She wasn’t entirely
comfortable with dogs, especially not ones as big as this one.
Chakotay took her hand in
his, resulting in a growl from Khia, who obviously wanted to be the only lady
in his life. But he snapped the fingers on his other hand and the growling
stopped. Khia trotted along beside them, happy to be an escort.
"We’ve been rolling
around with each other for a long time now. I keep thinking that she’s getting
too old for such play, but I do it because she expects it." He laughed
again. "Maybe that’s the only reason she still does it too!"
"How old is
she?" B’Elanna asked.
"Old enough to know
better," was all he would say.
Chakotay’s attention was
gone from the dog as another figure came running towards them. This time
B’Elanna did not draw her weapon as it was obvious that this female was human.
The little girl ran straight into Chakotay’s arms where he swung her up into
the air and around and around while her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.
She, too, spoke to him in a language foreign to B’Elanna. This was going to be
some dinner, she thought, if I can’t understand what anyone says, not even the
dog.
"Melie, this is my
friend B’Elanna," Chakotay said to the little girl. Now that she’d
disengaged herself from Chakotay’s neck, Melie could see the other person.
"B’Elanna, this is my niece, Melie." Was she just paranoid, or did
the girl tightened her arms protectively around Chakotay? Geez, first Khia, now
Melie! What did they think she was going to do, eat him for dinner?
But then B’Elanna’s fears
proved to be nothing as the girl dropped to the ground and held out her hand.
"Pleased to meet you,
B’Elanna," she said. When B’Elanna took the little hand, Melie went even
further and gave the older woman a hug. Grabbing both Chakotay’s and B’Elanna’s
hands she ran back in the direction from which she’d come, pulling the two of
them along.
"Come on! Come
on!"
*****
B’Elanna awoke suddenly,
the sound of Chakotay’s little niece harping their arrival ringing in her ears.
Inspecting her surroundings Torres remembered where she was. On Voyager. It had
just been a dream. A dream of a memory long past, and judging from the pain in
Chakotay’s eyes, one best forgotten. What was the point of dwelling on the past
anyway? The future was where they should look. The present is what they should
enjoy. The past should be sorted, boxed, labelled, and placed in a drawer to
gather dust.
She lay back in bed
wishing for sleep, but was soon disturbed by the sound of another child's cry.
*****
"A penny for your
thoughts, Captain?" Chakotay asked, when it appeared that she had not
heard most of his personnel report. She looked startled, as though he had
pulled her back from some other place entirely. Some place, he suspected, not
found in the Delta Quadrant.
"That’s an old
expression, Chakotay," she commented, sidestepping his implied question.
He said nothing. "I was thinking about … about home," she confessed
after a moment of silence between them.
"I know," he put
down the PADD. It was obviously not needed anymore.
"How did you
know?" asked Janeway laughing a little. He smiled at her.
"You get a certain
expression on your face. The Alpha Quadrant face. I’ve seen it before," he
told her.
"Do you have one
too?" she asked, teasing him, feeling a little vulnerable that he could
have read her thoughts so easily.
"I don’t know. Do
I?" he shot back at her. He looked at her intently.
"If we were home
right now," Janeway snapped her fingers, "where would you go?"
Chakotay was surprised by
the question. This kind of speculation was not usually Janeway’s style. Still,
everyone got homesick now and again, even after all this time -- especially
after all this time.
"Assuming that I’m
not thrown into a Starfleet prison upon reentering the Quadrant ..." he
began.
"Chakotay!" she
said sharply. He merely shrugged.
"Don’t make promises
that you cannot keep, Kathryn. That may be entirely out of your hands."
She said nothing so he
continued with his speculation.
"Assuming I’m not in
prison, I would go back to my home. If their village is still there, I would
take my family and find them a new place, outside the realm of the
Cardassians," he finished.
"You would relocate
your family?" she asked, incredulous.
"Too many people have
died already. It is better to stay alive, to stay together, than to live apart
under threat of death all the time," was his quiet response.
Janeway regarded her First
Officer thoughtfully. She hadn’t thought about it for a long time, but
certainly she had considered that there was a portion of her crew for whom the
Delta Quadrant held more promise. The Maquis crew, who faced imprisonment, Tom
Paris, who had started a new life, Neelix and Kes, for whom the Delta Quadrant
was home. Chakotay, as the leader of the Maquis, and therefore the one most
likely to be prosecuted, she had always assumed to fall into this category.
Certainly, he’d been able to adapt to the possibility of staying on New Earth
with greater ease than she. But now, she was reevaluating his position. A
family she hadn’t even known about waited for him back home. A family he’d
fought fiercely to protect and would have continued to do so, had he not been
dragged halfway across the galaxy.
"Captain?"
She was staring at him,
she realized.
"My apologies,
Commander," she said stiffly, ignoring the amusement in his eyes.
"Please continue with your report."
*****
The tranquillity of the
evening out of doors had not prepared B’Elanna for the noise that would meet
them in Chakotay’s home. Bodies spilled out of the front door, with children
clamoring to greet them, and his sisters throwing their arms around him in bear
hugs. Everyone talking and talking and lifting their voices to be heard over
the noise of the others. Words she couldn’t understand blended in with English;
to B’Elanna’s relief they were mostly speaking a language she knew.
She stood apart from the
crowd, watching as Chakotay made contact with all the others. And make contact
is exactly what he did. There was not a person there who didn’t receive a warm
hug, no child who went without being picked up, his hands touching them all as
though to ensure for himself that they were really there.
She was jealous. Jealous
of the contact that they were getting from him, when he usually held himself so
far apart from everyone else. B’Elanna had never seen Chakotay so open and
giving with his feelings, so quick to smile, to place a kiss on another’s
check. And she was jealous that he had this love, to give and to receive, with
this large family. B’Elanna recalled her own lonely family life and wondered bitterly
what on earth had possessed her to accompany Chakotay home.
The initial greetings
finished Chakotay pulled her into the crowd introducing her, telling her names
she promptly forgot, explaining who was related to whom and which child
belonged to which couple. In a whirlwind she found herself inside without any
idea who anyone was, except for the elderly woman standing by the table. Her
face, her demeanor was strangely familiar, but it wasn’t until well into the
meal that B’Elanna realized why. Chakotay was very much like her. When it
finally it her, B’Elanna had to stifle a fit of giggles, it was so obvious.
For now, she was placing a
bowl of corn on a table laden with food. She stepped forward to greet her
guest.
"As a friend of
Chakotay’s you will always be welcome in this house," she said warmly,
giving B’Elanna a kiss on her cheek. The simple, generous hospitality touched
B’Elanna suddenly and she felt tears behind her eyes. Furious with this display
of a weak emotion she rubbed her eyes.
"The dust is trying,
isn’t it?" murmured Chakotay’s mother, looking at B’Elanna. B’Elanna knew
that his mother had seen her tears, but was not acknowledging them, and for
that she was grateful. Almost more grateful than for the food.
*****
"Settle down!"
called Tom, "What’s the rush?"
"I’m hungry, isn’t
that enough?" was B’Elanna’s reply. She remained ten meters ahead of him
in the corridor. Tom was following at an easy pace, his walk gently rocking his
new born son. Despite being handed a lengthy list of choices, the baby remained
unnamed. Despite no longer eating for two, B’Elanna remained ravenous at meal
times. He supposed it was some kind of Klingon thing.
B’Elanna finished her meal
well ahead of Tom, who was at a disadvantage having started after her, and
having to balance a baby in one arm. She fussed a little, impatiently watching
him, then held out her arms without a word. Tom sighed and passed over the
baby. It was a lot easier to eat with both hands free.
B’Elanna cooed a bit over
the child singing something Tom couldn’t understand.
"A Klingon
lullaby?" he asked. She looked up, a bit startled. She hadn’t realized
he’d been listening that closely.
"No, it’s something I
learned from … from Chakotay’s mother."
"Chakotay’s
mother?" Tom nearly choked, and reached for his cup of water. The look he
was getting was not sympathetic. "I … It’s just … I’m just surprised
that’s all."
"I don’t know what it
means," B’Elanna confessed, "probably something to do with food. With
the harvest, I think. We’d have to ask him. He’d know."
"No doubt,"
agreed Tom, trying but failing to picture Chakotay as a baby with a mother
singing him to sleep.
"You know, as a
Maquis, I remember really valuing a good meal," B’Elanna said. "His
mother was a great cook. I think I was hungry more often than not in those
days, but after eating at her table I felt like I’d never have to eat
again."
"I think there’s
someone here who wants to eat as well," Tom commented, as the baby began
to cry.
"I’ll take him back
to our quarters," B’Elanna stood, edging her way around the table.
"Need any help?"
asked Tom, with his mouth full.
"Unfortunately you’re
not properly equipped," she shot at him, leaving. Tom watched her back
with worried eyes.
*****
"I think Chakotay
would live on corn, if he could!" his mother told the table laughing.
Chakotay laughed along with her, dismissing the idea with a wave of his hand.
"Do you remember
playing in the corn field….?" his older sister asked, with a sly grin.
"Stop! Stop!"
Now he held up both hands. Then, to B’Elanna, "I know what’s coming with
this."
"What happened?"
B’Elanna asked his sister.
"He got lost,"
she said simply, her expression one of disbelief even after all these years.
"I don’t think we need
to go into all the details," he warned, trying to look stern, but not
quite succeeding.
They were still sitting at
the table, with the food long cleared, telling news of the village, boasting of
their children’s latest accomplishments, and finally swapping tales of
Chakotay’s youth. B’Elanna was curious about this corn field but the telling of
the story was interrupted by a voice in the shadows of the doorway.
"Is this a private
party?" the teasing voice asked.
Chakotay’s mother looked
so shocked B’Elanna thought she was going to drop the bowl of fruit she was
bringing to the table. One of his sisters quickly brought her arms up to carry
the bowl the final few feet.
"Leylo?"
Chakotay squinted beyond the lantern on the table.
"The one and
only!" The voice stepped forward into the light to reveal a young man,
dressed in dusty clothes that had seen better days. Despite the lightness of
his tone, he looked to be exhausted, and on his cheek was a nasty bruise.
B’Elanna stared. His hair
was long, well past his shoulders, but aside from that she might have been
looking at a copy of Chakotay. Right down to the tattoo over his left eye.
There was something different about this version though, and not just the
youth.
Chakotay had stood from
the table to go to his brother, still in shock at his presence.
"How … how …" he
stuttered.
"Come now, you don’t
think I’d let a few Cardassians stop me from coming home for dinner, did
you?"
Chakotay put a hand on the
young man’s shoulder, another touch to ensure he was actually conversing with
his brother, and not a ghost conjured up from their stories. The younger man
nearly crumpled then, falling forward into Chakotay’s arms. Holding him gently,
Chakotay sat down on the floor, careful not to jar his brother’s almost certainly
broken bones.
The silence of the table
was far more deafening than the clamor of the voices just moments before.
*****
"Post what? Post
what?" asked Tom, shaking his head, bewildered.
"Post partum
depression," repeated the Doctor slowly, with a tone that asked why were
humans so unable to grasp the simple things. "It’s not that uncommon,
especially for someone like Lieutenant Torres."
"What’s that supposed
to mean?" snapped Tom.
"I meant," said
the Doctor, not at all impressed with Tom’s tone, "that women of mixed
physiologies seem to suffer more frequently from it."
Tom digested this
thoughtfully and figured it made sense. Sort of.
"So what can we
do?" he asked, ever a man of action.
"It is easily
treatable. The hardest part of this will be getting her to admit to it, and
come to see me for help."
For once Tom was in
complete agreement with the Doctor.
*****
It turned out that Leylo’s
health was better than at first appeared. After sending one of the children
scurrying for a doctor, Chakotay had carried his brother into the house to lay
him gently on a bed.
"Brother, wait until
I tell you of my escape," he was saying but Chakotay laid a finger on the
other man’s lips.
"Not now. There will
be enough time for that later."
Leylo had nodded in
agreement, reaching up to clasp Chakotay’s hand with a surprisingly strong
grip. Chakotay’s expression was mixed between amazement, love, and anger.
Always anger, B’Elanna realized. Like the ever-present tension he held in his
back, there was invariably anger smoldering behind his eyes. Maybe it had been
overshadowed by some laughter this evening, but it had never really
disappeared.
"What happened?"
she asked him, in a low voice.
"Cardassians!"
he spat out, as though no further explanation was required. She was about to
respond in kind, after all, she had a fair degree of hatred for them burning in
her too, but Leylo stopped her.
"Ever been to
Cardassia II?" he asked. Chakotay hung his head.
"No," admitted
B’Elanna, who had no intention of ever going to Cardassia II.
"My brother
has," said Leylo, almost with pride, "and I’ve just come back from
there. It’s a long journey…" His voice trailed off.
The doctor arrived then,
breathlessly, being pulled in by the little messenger sent to get him. Chakotay
stood to move away, but Leylo’s grip held him fast.
"Don’t go,
Chakotay," he whispered, so his older brother nodded and remained in the
room.
B’Elanna returned to the
main room, where the festive feeling from the meal remained. His injuries would
heal, the important thing was that Leylo had returned. And returned from a
place not many leave.
B’Elanna was a little
amused by the family dynamics. Leylo, although the baby in his family, still
had younger cousins who worshipped him. Who could blame them their adoration,
when he had come back from the dead? And all those nieces and nephews who’d
milled around the older son earlier, were abuzz with the glory of the younger
son’s return.
Chakotay’s mother remained
alone, in her chair, with tears slowly running down her weathered face. 'Tears
of joy?' B’Elanna wondered, 'Or tears of gratitude?' What must it be like for
this woman, to have her sons walk forward in a life so close to death? What
must it be like to live in a settlement on the precipice of Cardassian
annexation?
It didn’t take very long,
a tribute to either the doctor’s skill, or Leylo’s youth, before the two
brothers appeared in the room again. The doctor quietly slipped out, after
receiving thanks from Chakotay and his mother. His thanks from Leylo was in the
cocky stride of the young man, who’d cheated death and would do so again.
"Anything to eat
around here? Or did you eat everything in the house, Chakotay?"
Both Chakotay and his
mother managed a nervous laugh at that; Leylo regarding them with amusement in
his eyes. B’Elanna could hardly believe this was the same man who’d collapsed
in Chakotay’s arms less than an hour ago.
"I think we can find
something for you," his mother told him. As she stood, he pulled her into
a gentle hug, whispering to her,
"We’re all here now,
mother. All safe and sound."
*****
Janeway had been so deep
in thought she didn’t hear her door chime until it had gone three times.
"Come in!" she
called finally. The door opened to reveal Commander Chakotay, who stood
awkwardly in the corridor for a moment and then stepped inside her quarters,
keeping his hands behind his back.
"Commander!"
Janeway rose to greet him. "What can I do for you?"
"I was wondering if
you’d be interested in going for a walk with me," he said, with a neutral
tone.
"I’d be
delighted!" she exclaimed, with more enthusiasm than she’d shown for days.
In fact, her eagerness surprised Chakotay, showing plainly on his face.
"What an expression! Did you think I would say no?" she asked, as she
put a hand on his arm to steer him from the room.
"Er, no, not
exactly," he said, "I guess I just didn’t expect you to be so
excited."
"Where are we
going?" she asked, as they stood just outside her door. His confidence
restored by her enthusiasm, he held out his hand which she took.
"We are going to
Dorvan V," he told her, "so you can see for yourself the home I think
of when I get my Alpha Quadrant face."
*****
If B’Elanna had been
amused by the stories around the table prior to Leylo’s arrival, she was
howling with laughter over some of the tales Chakotay's little brother shared.
Eating quickly the meal his mother placed before him, he proceeded to embarrass
Chakotay thoroughly by pulling out some childhood memories even his sisters had
forgotten. Chakotay sat back, with two small children asleep in his arms, not
saying much, but smiling at his brother and chuckling occasionally.
"Oh please!"
gasped B’Elanna, "I can’t take anymore. My sides are aching!"
"I think your memory
is flawed," Chakotay told Leylo, who put on an expression of mock hurt.
"I think I remember
it just as it was." Leylo winked at B'Elanna.
She was beginning to
realize the differences between them. Although he looked like a younger version
of her friend, Leylo had an easygoing open manner that was quite apart from
Chakotay's closed, withdrawn personality. He had a certain sunny charm about
him that was in direct contrast to his brother's somberness. B'Elanna bet he
didn't hold any tension in his shoulders. She could hardly believe he had a
care in the world.
She could hardly believe
he just escaped from a Cardassian prison camp.
That was not a story for
young ears, however, and so he contented himself with memories of funny times
gone by. B'Elanna was somewhat relieved to hear that Chakotay hadn't always
been so serious, in fact, he had nurtured his sense of humour from a very young
age.
The hour was growing late.
Chakotay's mother sat, brushing out the hair of her granddaughter. B'Elanna
watched, envious of the girl's innocent beauty. As the brush stroked through
the long dark hair, grandmother sang softly. The girl's eyes were beginning to
droop. It wasn't every day that Uncle Chakotay came for dinner, even less
frequent that Leylo was here at the same time. But fatigue won in the end and
the girl was soon asleep against her grandmother's legs.
B'Elanna hardly realized
her own eyes were closing until she felt Chakotay's hand on her arm.
"Time we go,
B'Elanna?" he asked her.
"I don't want
to," she confessed, yawning. He brushed his hand down her hair in a
totally natural gesture, but one she'd never expected from him.
"I know."
Around them Chakotay's
siblings and relatives were collecting their sleeping children and quietly
departing. His mother clasped their hands as she bade farewell and let them
into the night. Only Leylo would remain with her.
"Your brother,"
whispered B'Elanna, "don't you want to talk to him?"
"I already did,"
he told her, "while we were with the doctor."
He reached out an arm to
help her to her feet. All the others had left by now; only his brother and
mother remained by the door.
"Thank you
mother," he said, bending to give her a kiss. She pulled him into a
motherly embrace.
"Stay safe, my
son," she said into his ear. He nodded, his eyes somber.
"Little
brother," Chakotay said, turning to grasp Leylo's arm. "What can I
say to you, Leylo? Take care of yourself."
"I always do,"
he replied, easily, his eyes twinkling. Leylo winked at B'Elanna. "You
take care of my brother for me. I worry about him when I'm not around to look
after him."
"I will,"
B'Elanna promised.
*****
Chakotay's program did not
include any holocharacters, it was only a depiction of his family's village on
Dorvan V. He'd felt too awkward about inserting into the program people he
knew, as though the town were inhabited by ghosts. But the holodeck did justice
to the look of the buildings, the dust under their boots, even the sound of the
wind seemed authentic.
"Chakotay, this is
remarkable!" Kathryn marvelled. She stood apart from him, turning in a
circle to examine their surroundings.
"I'm glad you like
it," he said, amused.
"Is this where you
grew up?" she asked, thinking of her own family home in Indiana.
"That's my mother's
house over there," he pointed.
Janeway walked in the
direction he'd indicated. They stood outside the house for a moment. Chakotay
seemed reluctant to go in, and Janeway did not want to explore on her own.
"Over there are the
fields," he pointed again. "Corn, mostly, but some others."
"No wonder you're so
fond of corn," she said with a smile. He smiled shyly in return.
"And I used to climb
on those cliffs."
Janeway turned to follow
his arm. The rocks above the village jutted out in an imposing manner.
"Whenever I wanted to
get away, whenever I wanted to hide from something, or someone, I used to climb
up there. I could spend hours just looking down on the village."
Janeway turned back around
to face him, a slow smile spreading across her face.
"Is that where we're
going now, Chakotay?"
He didn't answer, merely
gestured for her to join him in his walk. They strolled in silence together
until they reached the fields.
Chakotay reached out to
touch the corn plants. The very smell of them was pulling him back into
memories of home. He should have left the smell out of the program; it was far
too real.
"My brother and I
used to play hide-and-go-seek in the corn," he told Janeway, with a sad
smile.
Janeway stopped walking,
almost holding her breath. Was he going to talk about his family? Now?
"Great training for
flying through the badlands," he added grimly.
"Chakotay were all
your family members rebels?" she asked. Looking around his home
settlement, she could almost understand the fierce protectiveness that had
turned him into a terrorist.
He thought for a moment.
"I suppose we were.
My sisters..." he looked over at the Captain suddenly, then shook his head
with a grin, "I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore if you’re
collecting evidence."
Janeway was hurt, although
she could certainly see why he might think twice about telling her information
about the Maquis. But did he think so little of her that he believed she was
gathering material for a prosecution? Before she could protest he continued.
"My sisters provided
safe houses. They gathered food, clothing; those kind of provisions. Two of my
brothers-in-law were in "active" service. My other one was a
farmer."
"And Leylo?"
inquired Janeway, "Was he a warrior, or a farmer?"
"He was a warrior who
should have stayed a farmer," Chakotay said, thoughtfully, "but
Leylo’s not Maquis anymore."
The wind picked up
slightly then, blowing loose trails of Janeway’s hair into her face. She
brushed them aside with an idle hand. For a second she thought she heard the
sound of children’s laughter in the field, just next to where she stood.
Looking through the corn stalks the images of two boys chasing each other
flashed by. Had Chakotay programmed ghosts into this scene as well? No, she
must be imagining things. She glanced at him but he apparently hadn’t heard the
sound. He seemed lost in thought.
"He was a good
farmer. He could make anything grow. And he had the devil’s own luck, even as a
child. *Especially* as a child."
They continued walking
then, out of the corn and to a narrow path, barely discernable, that led up to
the cliffs.
"Are you close in
age?" asked Janeway, after enough time had passed that she felt it
necessary to continue the conversation.
"Not really. Well, my
sisters and I are, but Leylo came along 9 years after I did." Chakotay
paused to lean back and offer his hand to steady Janeway on the rocky path.
"Of course, my parents wanted a big family, lots of sons. Many sons bring
honour and prestige to the household. I think I was a disappointment to them
from the start, mostly because I was followed by two girls! Watch your
step!"
Janeway stopped to examine
their path and once again brush away her hair.
"Surely you don’t
really think that," she admonished him. He smiled.
"No," he
admitted, "but there were lots of ceremonies, lots of prayers, lots of
offerings to the spirits, to the ancestors, to the earth, to the sky...a *lot*
of effort before Leylo came into our lives. And when he did, it was like a tiny
miracle had been placed in our hands."
"He sounds well worth
the wait," Janeway commented. He squeezed her hand.
"My mother used to
say that Leylo was laughter in a human form. Nothing in the world could upset
him. I remember..." Chakotay hesitated, then proceded, with his
story-telling voice. Janeway loved to hear his stories.
"One time, I was
going climbing with my friends. We wanted to get to a river that is just beyond
those hills, to go fishing. Leylo tagged along after me wanting to come too,
but I told him he was too young, he’d only slow us down. He didn’t make a fuss,
just stood and watched us leave. And then decided to follow me. He was doing
fairly well, until he tripped and fell, just there," Chakotay pointed to a
spot below where they now were. "He broke his leg and cracked open his
head. It might have been really serious if Khia, my dog, hadn’t alerted
me."
Here Chakotay paused, in
stride and in story, as his mind’s eye saw the dog standing over the spot where
Leylo had fallen, barking, barking, barking...
"Khia!" called
out the 14-year-old impatiently, "Khia! Come on!"
But the dog refused to
budge, whining and barking and pawing in the dust.
Chakotay trotted back down
the path to collect his dog, muttering angrily. Now he was going to be far
behind the others. First Leylo now this!
Chakotay, the man,
standing next to his Captain 70 light years away from his home, still
remembered the feeling of seeing Leylo’s little body sprawled out down from the
cliff. He still remembered pitching himself down the path, half sliding half
running, his hands and legs scraping on the rough edges of rock. He looked down
at his hands now, almost expecting to see the blood from the cuts. Janeway
watched him, curiously at first and then with some concern.
"But he was
alright?" she prodded. He must have been, for B’Elanna to meet him all
those years later.
"When I got him home
there was such a fuss! The doctor, my mother ... my father blaming me for not
watching out for him. He was fine! He opened his eyes, looked at me and asked
if I’d caught any fish! Yes, he was quite alright. *I* was the one who was
falling apart."
And Chakotay saw himself,
as a teenager, sitting by the back door of his home, his sore arms around the
neck of his dog, his face buried in her fur, his heart pounding... Khia licking
his face in an attempt to comfort him but he would not be comforted.
*****
B'Elanna found the silence
in the shuttle oppressive after all the chatter of the evening. Chakotay seemed
lost in thought but she couldn't stand listening to the sound of the computer
console any longer.
"What happened to
your brother?"
Chakotay stirred out of
his reverie with a jerk. His hands played uselessly over the controls. It was
just nervous energy.
"Leylo has more lives
than a house full of cats," he finally said.
"If he's in the
Maquis, why don't you keep him close at hand? A few lucky cats might be a good
thing for us."
"Leylo works to his
own agenda," Chakotay said shortly.
"Look, if you don't
want to talk about it..." B'Elanna began, a little annoyed at how quickly
Chakotay seemed to have withdrawn into himself again. Where was that laughing,
loving man from dinner?
"No, I'm sorry,"
he looked at her, his eyes troubled. "It's just that....well...Leylo has
always been a very....a very happy person. And it upsets me to see what's
happened to him."
"He seemed to be
pretty happy with himself this evening," B'Elanna commented, "At
least, once the doctor got some pain killers into him."
"Leylo was always the
one to laugh at himself. He was just happy. Nothing ever bothered him, nothing
made him angry. He was content to work the land and stay at home....No
Starfleet Academy for my brother!"
"That must have been
a comfort to your parents," B'Elanna said, knowing how much Chakotay's
Starfleet career had cost him with his relationship with his father.
He laughed shortly.
"Oh yes, Leylo was
the perfect son in many ways. Always there to honour our father. Always ready
to uphold traditional ways. My parents thought he was terrific. He thought he
was invincible...." There was no malice in his voice. Chakotay did not
begrudge his brother the relationship with their father that he'd never had.
"He never did
anything in halves either," Chakotay continued after a pause. "When
he fell in love it was as though she'd put the sun up in the sky just to shine
on him. And when she died it was as though that sun had crashed into the earth
never to rise again."
B'Elanna glanced up from
the shuttle's controls.
"Let me guess: Cardassians?"
Chakotay nodded grimly.
"She was on a
transport coming back from an agricultural exchange. She had their baby with
her. A little boy....Leylo, he went crazy. I've never seen anyone so embittered
with grief. Being in the Maquis wasn't enough for him. He wants to see every
Cardassian dead. Sometimes I think maybe he wants to die too...."
"Chakotay, suicidal
men do not break out of prison," B'Elanna pointed out.
"No, I suppose
not." He looked away from her, out the viewport. "But one of these
days there won't be anymore lives for him to steal, and then his recklessness
will catch up to him."
*****
Tom woke up with the
feeling that something was wrong. Instinct kicked in and he immediately took
stock of those around him most dear. First of all, where was B'Elanna? A quick
pat on the open space next to him on the bed told him she wasn't there. Through
the fuzziness of sleep he stood and made his way over to where the baby slept.
There was B'Elanna
standing over the crib, watching their son.
"No one sleepy?"
asked Tom, yawning, after noticing that the baby was also awake.
B'Elanna shook her head.
Her response surprised him.
"No wonder he hated
you so much."
"I beg your
pardon?" Tom wondered if he'd heard her correctly.
"Chakotay. No wonder
he hated you so much."
Now Tom reached out to
grasp her shoulders, turning her gently to face him. He wondered if she might
still be asleep and dreaming. She squirmed away from him and went back to
watching the baby.
"You were a
mercenary, fighting for latinum. You had no sense of moral duty to the cause.
You had not lost family members to the enemy."
"B'Elanna!" Tom
was at a loss for how to respond. She reached into the crib to give their son a
finger to hold onto. Tom placed a hand on her head, brushing her hair away from
her face with his fingers. "B'Elanna, I think maybe you should talk with
the Doctor."
"The Doctor? Whatever
for?" She turned towards him, lightly pushing her cheek into his hand.
"There's some kind of
depression that's common for new mothers, but he said that..."
"Tom," she
interrupted, "Tom, I'm not depressed. What on earth gave you the idea that
I was depressed?!"
"It's just that you
haven't been yourself lately, you've been so quiet and moody and well, usually
when you get moody you get loud and you've been so reluctant to name the baby
and ...."
"Tom," she place
a hand over his mouth to stop him. "I'm not depressed. I've just been
caught up in an old memory that's making me sad, that's all."
"What memory?"
he whispered, a little hurt that she hadn't shared this with him.
"It's silly
really," she laughed softly. "It's just....I'm remembering a time I
visited Chakotay's family on Dorvan V just before .... "
"If it makes you so
unhappy then why are you thinking about it?" Tom's forehead creased with a
frown. She brought her fingers up to smooth out the lines.
"It's actually a very
happy memory. His family were very kind to me."
"I don't
understand," Tom confessed. "If it is a happy memory, then why are
you sad?"
*****
B'Elanna happened to be
with Chakotay when the transmission came. The screen was not working properly
causing the Gul's face to look even more sinister.
"Chakotay," he
said, calmly, like it was every day that a Cardassian made a transmission to
the Maquis ship.
"What do you
what?" asked Chakotay, shortly, wary. He could think of a dozen reasons
for the Gul to contact him, all of them bad ones.
"I have a visitor who
is *dying* to reach you." The Gul's voice was deceptively silky.
B'Elanna saw Chakotay's fists
clench, what she did not see was his heart leap to his throat. He did not reply
to the Gul. The screen flickered slightly and then another figure was visible.
B'Elanna gasped.
Leylo was on his knees,
his face so badly beaten as to be barely recognizable. He was in chains, his
head pushed upwards as the guard behind him pulled on his hair. Looking into
his eyes, so much like Chakotay's, B'Elanna saw defiance, hatred, and fear. The
easygoing happy-go-lucky charmer from that dinner was long gone. She suspected
he'd been long gone for some time, and that his appearance all those months ago
had been merely an act.
Chakotay still said
nothing, his face like a mask. Only his eyes showed any emotion, as they bore
through the viewscreen to Leylo. Some communication was passed between the
brothers, B'Elanna was sure of it. She had to be.
"Nothing to
say?" asked the Gul with mock regret. "Ah well..." He snapped
his fingers. Another guard appeared from out of the gloom behind Leylo and
handed the Gul a knife. Chakotay tensed but still did not react.
"Cut the
transmission!" he ordered B'Elanna quietly. Her fingers flew to comply but
the Cardassian had jammed their communications in such a manner as to make it
difficult.
B'Elanna glanced back at
the screen and immediately wished she hadn't. The Gul stepped behind Leylo and
with one swift vicious motion, cut the young man's throat. Chakotay reached out
and gripped the back of his chair for support. Leylo let out a cry of pain but
then, so quickly, it was over. All over but the blood on the Gul's knife which
he held like a prize before Chakotay.
"Cut the
transmission!!" roared Chakotay.
"I can't!" she
cried, "It's not working!"
"Still nothing to
say, Cha-ko-tay?"
Chakotay couldn't seem to
take his eyes off the body of his brother. Just as the Gul opened his mouth to
speak again B'Elanna managed to end the transmission. And watched as Chakotay
fell onto his own knees. She reached out to touch his shoulder only to have him
throw her off angrily.
"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"
he kept saying over and over again. Rocking back and forth with his arms
wrapped around himself as though he was cold he chanted something B'Elanna
didn't recognize.
Not to be easily deterred,
she went slowly to him, and, crouching down on the floor, she pulled him to
her, hoping to absorb some of his grief. The room was quiet except for the
ragged sound of his breathing.
*****
They had reached the top
of the cliffs now and were looking down over the village. Chakotay seemed lost
in memories; Janeway watched him. He did have an Alpha Quadrant face, she
decided.
"The closest we ever
came to fighting was when that damned treaty was signed," Chakotay said
suddenly, shifting his gaze over to the Captain. She looked down at her hands.
"That damned treaty,"
she repeated softly.
A tired Chakotay felt some
resentment that his brother, a mere *child*, could hold against him the
Starfleet uniform he wore. He remembered bitterly that there had once been a
time Leylo had looked up to him. Not hero worship, per se, but a comfortable
love that declared proudly "I want to be just like my brother!" to
the world. He scowled. Leylo grinned at him. Chakotay scowled some more.
"Chakotay,"
Leylo said, in a let’s be reasonable voice, "how can you possibly agree to
this? It is a travesty of justice!"
Unlike their father, whose
voice took on the tones of a religious leader when declaring the injustices of
the world, Leylo sounded more or less the way he usually did. They might have
been discussing crop rotation for the passion in his tone. He didn’t hold the
treaty against Chakotay personally, he just couldn’t understand how his brother
could even think for one little minute that it was right.
If possible, Chakotay’s
scowl deepened.
"There is no use
talking to that one," said their father wearily. "His ears are
elsewhere."
‘That was really unfair,’
thought Chakotay bitterly, ‘not once, not ONCE had either of them even
attempted to see things from *his* point of view.’ After all, Starfleet didn’t
equal the Federation in all respects.
When Chakotay refused to
respond, father sighed and left the room. ‘You have disappointed me yet again,
Chakotay,’ he might as well have said aloud.
Leylo watched his
departure with amused eyes. He’d always found the friction between his brother
and father to be inexplicable. How was it possible that the two people he cared
most about could be at odds so often? After their father was gone, he leaned
across the table to his brother.
"Chakotay, it’s just
us now. No Starfleet around except your uniform. Tell me the truth! You don’t
agree with them do you?"
Chakotay’s dark eyes met
with their mirror in Leylo’s face.
"Leylo you have *no*
idea what a war with Cardassia would mean. It would be unimaginably
horrifying..."
He didn’t get much further
because Leylo’s eyes stopped laughing and grew somber. It was as serious as
Chakotay had ever seen his brother. The passion lacking earlier now came
through the urgency of his voice.
"Chakotay, with this
treaty we *are* at war with Cardassia. We *are* at war! And without the
protection of the great and mighty ‘fleet! Now that *is* horrifying!"
"You really don’t
understand," Chakotay tried again. It was a losing battle. He was not
fully able to argue for a side he couldn’t believe. But Leylo cut him off once
more.
"Who is going to
protect us when they come, Chakotay? You? You will be far from here, on Earth,
teaching minds how to fight, but not allowing them to participate."
"Dammit Leylo!"
Anger burst forth then, spilling over in Chakotay making him raise his voice.
"This is not some kind of GAME we’re talking about here. This is
WAR!"
"This is war,"
Leylo agreed calmly, but still serious, "and this is death, and this is
the destruction of our home."
Chakotay left the room
then, unwilling to continue their disagreement. It was bad enough to fight
against the treaty while in San Francisco, but to come home and have to fight
for it was unbearable. Why did he always feel so on the defensive around his
family? And if he took off his uniform, he felt like he was an imposter,
sneaking back home in civilian clothing, pretending that his life on Earth did
not exist. Always the guilt of having been a disappointment to his father
dampened any happiness he sought.
How could he tell Leylo
that the treaty was the lesser of two evils when he didn’t believe it himself?
Janeway didn’t know what
to say. It was becoming more and more obvious to her that Chakotay’s past was
more complicated than she’d thought. But why should she have thought otherwise?
He was a complex man. And as she looked down on the village of his youth, she
tried to imagine if Indiana were in the DMZ what she might have felt when the
Federation signed that treaty with Cardassia.
Betrayal? That wouldn’t
have even come close.
"I couldn’t protect
them in Starfleet," Chakotay said softly, "I couldn’t even protect
them in the Maquis. But at least in the Maquis I could be sure that their
deaths were not forgotten statistics. Casualties of ‘peace at any cost’
diplomacy." He shifted his weight to lean towards her, giving her a grin.
"And I guess I was doing a fairly good job, or you never would have come
after me."
"Chakotay,"
Janeway said, with a smile, "you are always very good at what you do. Your
vast hidden talents never cease to amaze me."
"Pretty soon you’ll
know all my secrets, Kathryn." He reached over to tuck a stray strand of
hair behind her ear, his hand lingering along her jaw. She brought up her own
hand to take his.
"I doubt that,
Chakotay, I doubt that very much."
*****
"Finally!" Harry
exclaimed. "So. What's it going to be? Harold?"
"No, no,"
Lieutenant Carey chimed in, "Joseph, right? Joseph is what you've
chosen."
B'Elanna glanced around
the room catching Chakotay's eye as he walked by.
"What's this I hear
you've finally named your baby?" he asked, with a smile.
"Took long
enough!" snorted Harry.
"Hey!" Tom
protested. "These are delicate matters!"
"Well?" asked
the Captain, who had also joined them. "Please don't keep us in any more
suspense!"
"Leylo," said
B'Elanna, "Leylo Owen Paris."
Chakotay's surprise was
evident but he said nothing. Nothing aloud that is. His eyes spoke to B'Elanna
as surely as if he'd mouthed the words.
"Thank you."