Drift (ST Voyager-C/T/J, PG-13)

by Elizabeth Klisiewicz

Author's Note: In Defining Parameters, I started exploring the crew's

reaction to J/C. Since this is something we don't get to see much of, I

thought I would take this a little further and look inside B'Elanna

Torres. Her alleged feelings for Chakotay were revealed in Persistence of

Vision. So, what does she think about the Captain and Chakotay getting

together? I thought it might be interesting to find out. 

There are also several lengthy J/C scenes in this story, so I hope the J/C

platform will enjoy this. This story is also a little more graphic than

some others I have written, so it is rated PG-13 for mild language and

sexual situations.

These characters belong to Paramount, but this story idea is mine. You can

distribute this to others as long as you ask permission first. Direct any

questions or comments to rain@tiac.net or klisiewi@aol.com.

********

Tell me a story, let me drift

Make me think I'm not really in this place

Let your words run like summer rain down my face

Let your voice caress my mind like a loving touch

Frantic Drift by the Chills

********

Constant worry knotted her insides while they were gone. Her Klingon half

tried and often failed to quell these human feelings. True Klingons did

not allow themselves to fall prey to weak sentimentality. But then, she

wasn't fully Klingon. In truth, she often despised the violent thoughts

she had. It was an uphill battle to be civil, especially now. B'Elanna had

always prided herself on being fair to her staff, but lately, the smallest

things caused her to lash out at whoever was unfortunate enough to be

close at hand. Lt. Carey, her former nemesis, was smart enough to keep his

distance. She respected the Starfleet officer, but she would never be his

friend. Her best friend was down on that planet with Janeway. 

Truth be told, she wasn't only worried about him dying from the virus or

never seeing him again. Captain Janeway was a beautiful woman. That fact

wasn't lost on B'Elanna, even if she was rampantly heterosexual. Janeway

had won over the unsuspecting Maquis woman with her charm and fine

analytical mind. How would Chakotay be able to resist her? In the past

year, both Chakotay and Torres had grown close to Janeway. B'Elanna

couldn't help but form a triangle in her mind and connect the points

between the three of them. She just hoped the Commander wouldn't ever have

to choose between her and Janeway.

*******

After months of futile research, Denara Pel transported a serum to Voyager

during the heat of battle. They returned to the planet where they had left

the two senior officers. Torres felt hope leap in her heart when they made

contact with the Captain and Commander. Morale on the ship had been

dreadful before their contact with the Vidiians. Afterwards, it was

bearable primarily because Harry and Tom worked hard to cheer her up. But

it was nothing compared to the joy she felt when she saw the two forms

materialize in Transporter Room 2. The tiny room was filled to capacity

with anxious members of the crew.

"Welcome back, Captain and Commander Chakotay." Neelix took the initiative

and walked forward to grasp their hands.

"Thank you, Mr. Neelix." Janeway smiled and Torres could almost swear she

had been crying about something if she didn't know better. She had never

known the Captain to crack emotionally, especially not in front of others.

Chakotay held himself stiffly. His eyes darted around the room until they

lighted on B'Elanna. She gave him a small nod and he smiled slightly with

that sardonic smirk of his. Janeway was immediately surrounded by a group

of intensely happy crew members led by none other than Harry Kim. Chakotay

spoke politely with several of his former Maquis crew before ducking out

of the room.

********

Chakotay felt like a fish out of water, slapping its tail hard against the

deck of a ship. He thought about banging his head against the wall just to

clear it, but knew that was a foolish notion. No matter how he sliced it,

he was still back on Voyager. The planet had become his home, and

Kathryn's. *Kathryn*. He tasted the name on his tongue, wondering when

he'd get to use it again. The bitter words from their last discussion rang

in his mind.

"I think we need to talk about us." His quiet words stopped her busy hands

as they gathered up every last sign that someone had ever made this a

home.

Janeway dusted herself off. "We've had this discussion before, Chakotay.

We both want the same thing, but we seem to have different ideas on how to

get there. I thought it was a good idea to define some parameters, but you

squashed that idea..."

"You call this a discussion, Kathryn? You talk at me instead of

listening...to this." His voice cut through her dialogue like fine steel

as he laid his hand on his heart. He continued, his voice quieter this

time, "For once, will you forget what your head tells you and follow your

heart?"

Janeway gave him a sad look before turning back to her work. She was about

to begin gathering up supplies again when his hand stopped her. He turned

her to face him. "Burying yourself in work is not going to make this go

away. You can't erase four months together out of existence."

She laid her hand on top of his. "I know. But seeing one another......I'm

not sure how to handle that on top of a command relationship."

"Seeing one another, is that what you call it?" His voice grew very quiet.

"I'm not sure what to call it, Chakotay. Please, I need some time to

become acclimated....."

Chakotay dropped his hand and pressed his palms together in frustration.

"How much more time, the rest of the journey?"

Janeway heard the hurt in his voice and gripped his arms. "What we started

down here is very special to me. But I asked you to be patient with me,

and you promised you'd try."

He let out his breath slowly and dropped his hands to his sides. She

noticed the finger of one hand clenching in and out. He was having

difficulty calming himself down and this was one sign of extreme agitation

she had picked up on during their isolation. Chakotay was normally a

private person, but he gave off loud signals with his body language.

Janeway had become particularly adept at reading him.

"Yes, I did." The words hissed out through clenched teeth. 

"Remember what we talked about? I want to be absolutely clear here."

Janeway was trying hard to keep her own cool.

"You talked, I listened." He was still angry. "I told you what I thought

of your proposal. Ignoring one another and pretending this hasn't happened

isn't going to work, Kathryn. It's a bad idea and it will backfire. We

were already beyond the formal command relationship before all this

happened. The crew isn't stupid. They're going to figure out that

something is going on. Sooner or later we're going to get caught."

"It's the only thing I can think of for now, Chakotay."

Chakotay snorted at her statement. "Really? Then I guess you're not

thinking very hard, are you?"

"Do you have a better idea? If so, I'd like to hear it." Janeway touched

his arm. He shook her hand off and folded his arms.

"Yes, how about being honest about your feelings for a change? Let's start

with that." His black eyes glittered at her. She had seen those hooded

eyes at close range, dazed with passion as he made love to her, his

luscious mouth devouring hers. Janeway shook off her distracting thoughts.

"You know how I feel about you. Surely you can see that, Chakotay." She

tried the logical approach, but he wasn't buying it.

"Do I? You've never told me any such thing, Captain. We can continue this

discussion when you're tired of pretending. I suggest we get back to

work." His voice was cold and his mask was back in place.

Thirty minutes later, they were beamed aboard Voyager, and nothing had

been resolved.

**********

Torres elbowed her way through the throng and followed closely on

Chakotay's heels. "Where do you think you're going?"

He whirled around impatiently. "If you don't mind, B'Elanna, I'd like to

be alone for awhile."

"Alone?" The word rang in the silence between them, colored by B'Elanna's

annoyance at his terseness. "You've been stranded for months. Haven't you

had enough of isolation?" 

"I wasn't alone, B'Elanna. Or have you forgotten that the Captain was with

me?" Torres started at the innuendo in his voice. 

Torres crossed her arms in front of her body and blocked his passage.

"What the hell is going on with you anyway? You come back to us after four

months and are barely interested in speaking to anyone."

Chakotay tried changing tactics. "Sorry, look, why don't we meet for

dinner later on? Say, 0700 in the mess hall?"

"I had something else in mind. Dinner in my quarters at 0700." Her eyes

transmitted a challenge to him. 

He looked reluctant, but could find no polite way to get out of this. "All

right, see you then."

*********

"B'Elanna wants to have dinner with me at 0700." Chakotay stated flatly as

they discussed the ship's logs and all that had happened during their

absence.

"Well, I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on." Janeway raised her

eyes from the sensor logs on her display and smiled warmly. He didn't

return her smile.

"You don't understand, Captain. I got the distinct impression that she was

interested in more than just *catching up*. She invited me to her

quarters."

Janeway raised an eyebrow. "I see. Did you accept her invitation?"

"Yes, of course. What else could I do?"

"Perhaps you're misinterpreting a friendly overture, Chakotay."

"No. Torres has always been.....obvious when she wants something. There's

no mistake." He waited to see her response. 

The Captain sighed  and pushed her work aside. "What do you expect me to

say, Chakotay? You and B'Elanna are old friends. I'm not the jealous type,

and I'm not about to start just because you and have become intimate."

The sign he was waiting for wasn't there. She really didn't care if he saw

Torres. "I see. Well, if there's nothing else....permission to leave."

"Dismissed," Janeway said tiredly. This was only her first day back on the

ship, but she felt like she'd been here for a century. The words on the

PADD blurred and she laid her head in her hands. She'd think about this

later when it didn't hurt so much.

*****

Chakotay was having second thoughts about accepting the invitation. What

exactly did Torres want to tell him? He had never thought of her

romantically, and the thought that she might regard him as something other

than a friend surprised him. He paced as he thought over the situation.

Torres was damned attractive, of that there was no doubt. But she was more

like a kid sister to him than anything else. And he had to admit, he had

thrown that in Kathryn's face just to get a reaction. But she was her

usual gracious self, refusing to take the bait. What had he expected?

Maybe some indication that he hadn't imagined those four months on the

planet? Anyway, there was always the possibility that he *had*

misinterpreted B'Elanna's invitation, although he liked to think he knew

her well.

And then there was Kathryn. *Gods, I love this woman. Why can't she just

accept our situation?* Chakotay ran his fingers through his closely

cropped hair and sighed. He was not exactly happy to be back on Voyager.

There was nothing left for him in the Alpha Quadrant. He had once told the

Captain one of his father's sayings about home is wherever you are. In his

head, he recalled the real expression about home is where the heart is. He

hadn't dared utter it to her back then, but he wouldn't have hesitated

now. There were many times when he had trouble discussing his feelings, so

he drew from his heritage to express himself. He grinned for a moment as

he remembered the angry warrior legend he had used to tell Kathryn he

loved her as well as the beautiful smile she had given him as a gift in

return. She was far more adept at reading him than anyone he had ever

known. Even in the beginning of their command relationship, they had

communicated countless times with facial expressions. He rarely had to

resort to his tried and true tactic of *my people have a saying* anymore

with Janeway.

The woman who had faced him a short time ago was a far cry from the

sensual, carefree woman he had grown to love down on the planet. Images of

long, auburn hair cascading over bare shoulders as she twisted under him

in ecstasy didn't help. They had been lovers for a month before Voyager

contacted them. He could never recall being so happy and at peace during

any time in his life. All it took was a look and a quiet touch, and they

dropped everything to fulfill their mutual passions. Now, it was like a

permanent cold shower. 

The discussion about Starfleet protocol and how it affected their

relationship had come full circle. He remembered the tense discussion

they'd had before beaming up to Voyager. Her damned *defined parameters*

were interfering again, and he didn't like backpedaling one bit. He had

been so angry with her that he had deleted all his personal logs and

blueprints from the computer. He wanted no reminders of their time

together if this was how it had to be once again. Yet, he regretted his

actions and wanted to rectify the situation. But how could he do that? He

was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't hear his comm badge chirp

the first time. 

"Torres to Chakotay."

"Yes, B'Elanna."

"I have to cancel our plans. Tuvok put me in charge of overseeing the

return of all materiel from the planet."

"Why don't we meet for breakfast in the mess tomorrow at 0600?" Chakotay

offered.

"Sure. I'll see you around. Torres out."

*****

Torres had never been totally in touch with her feelings. Her father had

abandoned her as a child, and her mother was ashamed of her. How could

such a weak child come from her loins? B'Elanna remembered her mother's

endless diatribes about honor and the long line of warriors in their

house, and how she was reduced to this shame, her punishment for loving a

human. The other children in their settlement tormented her constantly,

and Torres had no one to turn to for comfort. So her best friends became

her sharp tongue and her fists. As she grew older and stronger, they left

her alone, and she finally had some peace. She escaped for a time to

Starfleet Academy, but her best friends turned against her, and she was

once again an outcast. Torres was a free spirit and the rigid way of life

didn't suit her. She left after two years and drifted from one place to

another until she heard about the Maquis. It wasn't difficult to find a

home among criminals, miscreants and other malcontents. Finally, she found

a family in Chakotay's cell. He was everything to her: brother, father,

and best friend. Oh, he was sexy as hell, but Seska had her hooks in him.

Torres didn't consciously give *that* a second thought until they had

encountered the Bothans. Her hallucination had seemed so real, and to her

great embarrassment, she had given in like one of those swooning females

in a dime romance novel. Later, as she replayed the experience over in her

head and tried analyzing it frame by frame, she felt no closer to the

truth than before. 

She also remembered her discussion with the Captain after they left Bothan

space. Janeway had said they should face their feelings and bring them out

in the open. It had taken this unexpected separation to make her realize

how strong her feelings were. But just what exactly were those feelings?

Was this about sex? If so, she could pick and choose from just about any

guy on Voyager. And it sure as hell would be less complicated to get

involved with someone at her own level than a senior officer. Four months

of long, hard thinking still hadn't bought her much except confusion and

misery. It was like losing her family all over again. So, when he came

back and tried to escape to his quarters, she didn't understand. He used

to tell her a lot of things, and even when he didn't, she could read

between the lines. Now, there was something intangibly different about

him, and she *had* to know what it was.

Torres stared at herself in the mirror in irritation. Leave it to Tuvok

and his lousy timing. He had only chosen her for this detail because

everyone else was busy doing other things. Engineering systems were all in

top shape, so she and Hogan had been drafted to sort through the supplies

and ensure that the shuttle was fully operational. Oh, well she had better

get to it.

********

Hogan was already at work in the cargo bay when Torres arrived. He handed

her a PADD. "Lt. Tuvok gave me this. Everything seems to be in order so

far. The only thing left to go through is the shuttle and the computer

system they used down there."

"Go ahead and run a series of diagnostics on the shuttle. I'll check out

the computer and download any files I find. Report back to me when you're

finished." Torres examined the PADD and verified that all supplies had

been returned from the surface.

Hogan nodded and walked off towards the shuttle. B'Elanna took the

computer under one arm and connected it to a nearby console. She found

Janeway's logs and smiled at a few of the entries about the monkey. The

rest went into detail about her entomological experiments and Torres felt

herself stifle a yawn. She saved the files to the Captain's directory on

the main computer. The remaining files belonged to Chakotay. She tried

checking the files for possible problems, and all she saw were a series of

fragments. Somehow, the files had become corrupted.

"Damn!" The words tore themselves out of her. She'd have to call for help

on this exercise after all. Harry was supposed to meet her for a game of

pool at 2100. Maybe she could get him to cut himself loose from his

clarinet practice a little earlier than anticipated.

"Something wrong, B'Elanna?" The quiet but intense voice startled her and

she turned to find Chakotay standing nearby. She dropped the PADD in her

hand.

"Shit, you scared me." B'Elanna admonished as she scooped the data pad

from the floor.

Chakotay's onyx eyes looked suspicious, and he offered no apology. "Tuvok

asked me to check in on things and see how the inventory is going."

"Hogan is running some Level 1 diagnostics on the shuttle and I've

finished scanning the computer files for viruses. But there is a problem

with some of the files...."

"Fix the problem, B'Elanna. I expect a full report on my desk by 2200

hours. And don't forget our meeting tomorrow morning at 0600 hours." 

Before he could leave, she stopped him with her hand. "2200 hours? That's

impossible. These files are hopelessly corrupted."

"Stop griping about it and get whatever help you need. 2200 hours. That's

all." He looked over his shoulder at Hogan who approached them cautiously.

He nodded at both of them before leaving as quietly as he had entered.

Hogan came up to stand next to a bemused B'Elanna. He shook his head.

"What's eating him?"

Torres shrugged her shoulders. "I have no idea. He's been a real bear

since he returned to the ship. Totally unlike him."

"You think he'd be happy to be back. Well, I better get back to work if

we're going to finish before 2200."

B'Elanna nodded and sighed. "Let me know when you're finished and I'll get

him his damned report. I'll be in my quarters trying to fix these computer

files."

**********

"Torres to Kim."

"Go ahead." Harry's voice begged her to rescue him from his clarinet

practice.

"I have to postpone our pool game, Harry. We were almost finished when I

discovered problems with these data files. Many of the system files and

personal logs from the planet are corrupted. I don't even know where to

start."

"Maybe I can help. Give me ten minutes and I'll come by." 

"Harry, you're a lifesaver."

"Save your thanks until I solve the problem. Kim out."

He arrived in under five minutes in civvies. B'Elanna decided that he

looked decidedly better in casual clothes than in Fleet issue. She gave

him an approving look.

"What?" A flush crossed Harry's face at her perusal.

"I must say, Starfleet, that your uniform doesn't do you justice. Red is

your color." She winked at him before handing him a PADD. Harry was

flustered and quickly focused his attention on the data before him.

A short time later, he looked up at her and frowned. "I don't understand

how this happened. The Captain's files are fine. They resided in the same

subdirectory as the others. Theoretically, the entire system should have

been corrupted. This smacks of deliberate tampering."

"That makes no sense. No one has had access to these files except the

Captain and Chakotay. Unless...." Her brown eyes looked thoughtful.

"You think one of them did this?" He gave her an incredulous look before

sitting down on the settee.

"I don't have another explanation, Harry. And let's face it, both of them

have been rather tense since they returned this morning."

"That's certainly true, but I can't believe either one of them is capable

of this." He ran his hands through his thick, sable hair.

"I can. You don't know Chakotay the way I do. If he's mad about something,

he gets sneaky. Anyway, none of this speculation is solving the problem.

Do you think you can rejoin the files?"

"Well, yes, but it will take time. Fragmented files can take hours to

fix."

"I don't have hours. I have until 2200."

Kim uttered a short, unbelieving laugh. "You're kidding! Who set that

schedule?"

"Chakotay. Would you like to tell him you can't do it?" Torres raised her

eyebrows and waited for his reply.

Harry looked upset. "I'll try, but I'm not promising anything. As for

telling him, that's up to you."

"Thanks, Harry. I owe you." Her relief was immense.

"You sure do," Harry muttered before he disappeared out the door and back

to his own quarters.

Torres uttered a curse and continued working on her portion of the files.

But her mind was not on her work. 

*A breakfast meeting? What happened to a relaxed sit-down between two

friends? Damn him, just what is going on under that thick skull of his?*

She sighed and reluctantly dragged her concentration back to the display

in front of her. It was going to be a long night.

**********

"Paris, wait up." Chakotay caught Tom by surprise as the two men left the

mess hall.

"What can I do for you, Chakotay?" Tom's blue eyes were filled with

curiosity. Chakotay rarely sought him out for any reason.

"I understand you're a pretty good holoprogrammer," Chakotay said in a

deceptively mild tone.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. What is it you need?" Paris folded his

arms and eyed the first officer with a slight smile.

Chakotay handed Paris a recording chip. "Take a look at it. I've started

some preliminary parts of the program, but it needs to be a lot more

sophisticated. There are visuals of some places I have in mind that I'd

like to incorporate into the program."

Paris sized Chakotay up for a moment. "This will cost you."

"How much?" Chakotay asked shortly.

"Oh, let's see....two weeks of replicator rations, half up front." Paris

waited for an explosion, but none was forthcoming.

"Very well. I'll arrange for the transfer to your account. Is that

acceptable?"

"Sure, whatever you want. Say, what's this for anyway?"

Chakotay ignored his question. "I want the first part of the program

completed in 48 hours. Is that a problem?"

"Depends on what you want me to do. Now if you don't mind, I have to meet

someone."

Chakotay couldn't resist a small jab at the lieutenant. "That wouldn't be

Jenny Delaney, would it?"

Paris grimaced. "Ah, no. We had a parting of the ways recently. Jenny has

moved on to greener pastures."

Chakotay regretted his comment. "Let me know when you have something for

me."

"Will do." Paris gave Chakotay a knowing smile and scooted out of the way

nimbly.

Chakotay was about to retreat to the holodeck for his favorite meditation

program when his comm badge chirped.

"Torres to Chakotay."

"What is it, B'Elanna?"

"Harry and I are working hard to fix all the computer files, but we won't

be finished by 2200."

Chakotay was silent for a moment. "Never mind about the files. Finish what

you have done and get the report to me as I asked."

"But....." Torres tried to interject.

"That's an order, Torres. Chakotay out."

God, he didn't want those files retrieved. He swore to himself and quickly

sealed the door to the holodeck. He needed this time to himself to calm

down from his most recent argument with the Captain. Even when he was

angry at her, he tried to do things to please her. He hoped she

appreciated his latest effort when she saw it, but that would have to wait

until Paris finished tweaking the holoprogram he had given him. Lately, he

felt like something was slipping away from him. He usually had tight

control over his emotions, but this situation with the Captain was causing

him to lose his balance. Perhaps his animal guide could help him get back

on track. 

**********

"I don't understand it, Harry. Chakotay is so careful about everything he

does. This *had* to be deliberate." She took a sip of her synthale.

"It's not for us to question Chakotay's motives, B'Elanna. I did manage to

get most of the files. You can probably piece the rest of it together

yourself." He paused for a beat and added, "Why are you so interested in

these particular files?"

"No reason. I just like to finish a job properly instead of leaving loose

ends." Her eyes avoided his and he touched her arm gently.

"B'Elanna, I know you and Chakotay are close, and I know how much you

worried about him while he was gone."

"Was I that obvious?" She continued to stare at her hands wrapped around

her beer stein.

"Only to me." This time he touched her face. 

B'Elanna looked stunned at this sudden attention and Harry withdrew his

hand hastily. She cleared her throat and said, "When did you get so smart,

Starfleet?"

He avoided her teasing question. "You're just trying to help figure out

what's going on with Chakotay. He *has* been acting kind of odd,

especially around the Captain. They barely talk to each other."

Torres said, "I don't know what's going through his head, and I have no

idea what makes the Captain tick other than caffeine."

Harry smiled at her small attempt at humor. He stood and put down his mug.

"The files are copied to your directory if you want to look at them."

He started to depart when she called after him. "Did you look at the

files, Harry?"

He turned and looked uncomfortable. "Some of them, yes."

"Is there anything there worth trashing?"

He looked at her for a long moment. "I'll let you be the judge of that.

Good night, B'Elanna."

"Good night, Harry. Thanks again." Her expression was thoughtful as she

finished her ale and left Sandrine's to work at the files.

**********

Torres had transferred her report to her PADD and rushed to Chakotay's

quarters at 2200 hours on the dot. She tried the door chime several times

but there was no answer.

"Computer, locate Commander Chakotay."

"Commander Chakotay is on Holodeck 2."

*Damn him, I'll give him a piece of my mind when I see him tomorrow.

Especially since he was such a jerk about this report being on his desk on

time.*

She returned to her quarters and switched on the display where she had

worked most of the night. Chakotay's files were open at her terminal, but

she didn't know what to think. There was a whole series of engineering

drawings arrayed in little windows across the screen. A bathtub, a boat, a

headboard, and a bird feeder. Why on earth would Chakotay destroy these

files? An even more intriguing question was why would he build them in the

first place? In all the years she had known him, he had *never* taken a

bath. Therefore, she had to conclude that the tub was for Captain Janeway.

So, if he did this for her, why weren't they talking to one another? Well,

at least that would explain his bad mood, even if it didn't excuse his

brusqueness to one of his closest friends. 

She tried taking this one step further, and found she didn't like the jump

in logic. The drawings arrayed in front of her were like pieces of a

puzzle that suddenly fit together in a disturbing pattern. Were Chakotay

and the Captain involved? Torres put her PADD down and pushed back a lock

of hair that had fallen into her eyes. She just couldn't believe what she

was thinking. Who could she share this with? Harry? Tom? The one person

she definitely couldn't talk to about it was Chakotay. He was an intensely

private person at the best of times, but now....no, this subject was off

limits. Maybe Kes would be a good person to talk to. She stayed impartial,

and she seemed to know everything that went on anyway. B'Elanna wasn't

particularly close to her, but so what? It was worth a shot.

B'Elanna got up and ordered a cup of pajuta from the replicator. She

started pacing and sipping at the same time. *Why does the thought of the

two of them together bother me? It's not like I have any claims on him.

But I'd be lying if I said the thought of jumping him hasn't crossed my

mind. If I was alone with him for four months, I sure wouldn't waste a lot

of time talking about bugs.* 

Torres placed her mug down so hard that the liquid sloshed over the side.

She unconsciously wiped up the mess and admitted that Chakotay had gotten

under her skin. There it was...what had they called this in her

Introductory Psych course? Electra complex? The thought of having sex with

a parent made her skin crawl, but it was the closest analogy she could

find. *OK, so there's more to this than filial feelings. I wouldn't kick

him out of bed. But why didn't I didn't feel this way when he was with

Seska?*

A relationship with Chakotay wouldn't work out. She knew it in her heart

even if he did make her heart beat a little faster. Their life experiences

were too much alike. They had lost everything back in the Alpha Quadrant,

and this ship had given them both a fresh start on life. This was the

happiest that Torres had ever been in her 28 years, and she didn't want to

return to her life in the Maquis. She had made the best of this situation,

and so had Chakotay. He was loyal, and had the respect of everyone on

board Voyager, including Tuvok. Chakotay was a man worth loving, but the

love she felt for him was not romantic in nature. Logically, B'Elanna knew

all of this, but something still gnawed at her. Well, she would see how

things turned out at breakfast tomorrow, then she would talk to Kes. 

In the meantime, there were all these files. A determined expression

crossed B'Elanna's face as she copied them. She didn't dare look at

Chakotay's personal logs. *That* was a real invasion of privacy. Besides,

she doubted she'd learn anything new.

End of Part One

Drift (ST Voyager-C/T/J, PG-13) 2/4

by Elizabeth Klisiewicz

B'Elanna showed up in the mess hall at exactly 0600 hours. There were a

few people filtering in, but Chakotay wasn't one of them. *Well, I can

certainly start without him.*

She walked over to the serving area and sniffed the air tentatively.

Neelix saw her and came over with a pot of what looked suspiciously like

oatmeal.

"Good morning, Lieutenant. And how are you this fine morning?" He beamed

at her in his typical Talaxian way: annoying but endearing at the same

time. Torres was tempted to say, *What's so good about it?*, but her ire

would be lost on this alien Beau Brummel, who this very morning was

bedecked in a mind-bending combination of purple, orange and yellow.

B'Elanna felt nauseated, and it wasn't just from the foul odor emanating

from his steaming pot. Neelix's sartorial splendor and his culinary

concoctions were a stomach churning combination. She wondered how Ensign

Wildman had endured it for so many months. 

She shrugged her shoulders. "I've been better, Neelix. Do you have

anything besides that oatmeal?"

"Something troubling you? As morale officer, it's my duty to look after

the mental well-being of each and every person on board this ship." Neelix

set down the pot and wiped his hands on his apron.

"I appreciate the offer, Neelix, but it's nothing that a few cups of

coffee won't cure. I just didn't sleep very well is all." She looked

longingly in the direction of the replicator. The swill Neelix pushed on

them as a coffee substitute just wouldn't cut it this morning. *It's all

the Captain's fault. She got me and Chakotay hooked on this stuff. If we

ever have a shortage, we're going to have to duke it out.*

"Ah, well, Kes and I have come up with an impressive new coffee substitute

that the Captain swears is a ringer for her favorite Colombian brew. Would

you care to try it?" He grabbed a silver carafe and pushed it towards her.

His expression was so hopeful that she couldn't bear to hurt his feelings.

"All right, let me try some." She held out her cup and he poured her a

small sample. *Hmm, it smells normal. What could be wrong with it?*

B'Elanna brought the cup slowly to her lips and took a tiny taste. The

dark amber liquid slid down her throat and she sighed with pleasure.

"This is *wonderful*, Neelix. Where did you find this?" She looked at him

doubtfully, finding it hard to believe that such great java could come out

of his kitchen.

Neelix looked over at Kes and beamed with pride. "I can't really take

credit for this, Lieutenant. Kes has been working hard to replicate a

coffee bean that matches the best of the Terran ones. She searched the

ship's database and it looks like someone named Juan Valdez was

responsible for inventing Colombian coffee."

B'Elanna couldn't prevent a snort from escaping. It soon turned into

hearty laughter and Kes came over to find out what the joke was. Neelix

looked totally nonplused, not that this particular expression was foreign

to him.

"Sorry. I just...." She lost control of her train of thought again and

kept guffawing. *God, I have to stop pulling these late nights.*

"It's good to hear some laughter around here, but I wish I understood the

reason for it," Neelix said as a frown creased his expressive brow.

Torres finally managed to regain her composure. "Neelix, Juan Valdez is

not a real person."

"He's not? But I saw him. He was wearing one of those funny hats and

riding what they call a burro on Earth."

B'Elanna almost lost it again but she choked back another laugh. "He was a

symbol used by Colombian coffee growers as a sign of quality, Neelix. It's

my understanding that he was used in advertisements in the late 20th

century."

Kes piped up, "I tried to explain that to Neelix, but he insisted that

Juan must be real."

"Well, he's not. Sorry to disappoint you. If you don't mind, I'd like a

pot of that coffee. Chakotay is supposed to join me for breakfast.

Speaking of which, where is he?" Torres glanced at the chronometer and

noticed it was quarter past the hour. He wasn't always the most prompt

individual, but he usually let her know if he was running late. She didn't

want to locate him using the ship's computer, because that would just

alert others that she was put out with him. People gossiped enough on this

ship, she didn't need to add fuel to the fire.

"I haven't seen him or the Captain yet," Neelix said, "But I expect

they'll both turn up before long. So, can I interest you in some oatmeal?

I put some leola root in it, and I must say, it's a sparkling combination

with...."

"No thanks, Neelix. Just the coffee. I'll replicate some toast. I'm really

not feeling all that great this morning," Torres said hurriedly.

Kes looked at her with sympathy and followed B'Elanna over to the

replicator.

"Lieutenant, if you want to talk about what's troubling you, you can

usually find me in the hydroponics bay towards the end of Alpha shift."

Kes's blue eyes touched her with their gentle light and it was B'Elanna's

turn to feel dumbfounded. Sure, she'd had a passing thought the other day

to talk to Kes, but she had pushed it away as a silly idea.

"How'd you know...never mind, that's a silly question, isn't it?" Torres

took a sip from her mug.

"Not at all. My mental abilities are growing, but I'm not at the level of

reading minds yet. I'm in the habit of watching others closely, and I can

sense emotions to a certain extent," Kes said quietly with her usual calm.

Unlike Chakotay, this woman really was centered. Sometimes B'Elanna

thought Chakotay tried too hard to be in balance. He wanted to be many

things to many people, but he couldn't please them all. And unfortunately,

he had the heart of a warrior beating in his breast. This didn't help him

in his quest to be a counselor, seeker of wisdom, and all-around Mr.

Tranquility. 

"Thanks for the offer, Kes. By the way, call me B'Elanna. I'm not much for

using titles, in case you haven't noticed." Torres shot Kes a half smile

before returning her attention to her coffee.

"All right, B'Elanna it is." Kes glanced towards the galley and saw a

cloud of smoke emanating from its vicinity. "I better go, it looks like

Neelix could use my help."

"See ya," B'Elanna said absently as she sipped her coffee. A swift glance

at the clock showed the hands had now moved to half past the hour. Torres

started to watch the parade of crew members as they arrived to grab some

breakfast before Alpha shift. *Captain Janeway should arrive at any

minute. Ah, here she is looking none the worse for the wear and tear. How

does she do it anyway? I doubt she's sleeping any better than I am.* Paris

was nowhere to be seen, and that was strange. He usually joined her and

Harry for breakfast. For that matter, where was Harry? He had been up for

most of the night too, but he was always prompt. Suddenly a bleary eyed

Ensign Kim walked slowly through the door and shambled over to stand in

front of Torres.

"Morning, Harry, you look like hell."

"Thanks a lot, B'Elanna. Give me some of whatever you're drinking." Harry

sat down heavily and rubbed his eyes. Torres pulled a cup from a nearby

table and poured him a steaming cup of brew.

Harry didn't even hesitate as he downed half the cup. "I haven't felt this

crummy since my finals during senior year at the Academy. Don't ask me to

do any more late night favors, OK?"

"Deal. Have you seen Chakotay? He was supposed to meet me and he's late,"

Torres said shortly.

Harry wasn't too tired to notice her agitation. B'Elanna's foot was

tapping a mile a minute and her hand was following suit. Her brown eyes

snapped with pent up emotion "How many cups of coffee have you had anyway?

Slow down a minute."

"Answer the question, will you?"

"I think Tom said something about meeting Chakotay on the holodeck when I

passed him in the hall this morning."

"What? You expect me to believe the two of them are working on something

together?" Torres' lifted brows clearly showed her disbelief.

"I'm just telling you what Tom said. If you're so concerned, why don't you

look for them yourself?" Harry said.

"Maybe I'll do that," Torres snapped. She grabbed the coffeepot and strode

briskly past Kes muttering epithets about p'toks twisting in the wind.

**********

The program was already in progress when Chakotay arrived. He breathed in

the fresh, simulated scent of pine and was caught in the act by Paris.

"I take it you approve." Tom smiled hesitantly.

Chakotay looked around at the verdant forest and nodded slightly. "Yes,

this is exactly what I had in mind. How much did you finish?"

"Most of it. Follow me."

The two men followed a path bordered by a babbling brook. As they walked,

the watercourse widened into a dammed area. Silvery water danced over

multiple colored stones and swooped down to a lower pool where it fell in

a gentle cascade.

Chakotay gave Paris a small smile of approval. "Excellent work, Paris.

This is exactly how I remember the woods around Brevard, North Carolina."

"I've never been there, but I had a friend at the Academy who came from

Asheville. She used to talk about the Blue Ridge Mountains all the time."

Paris's words were somber.

"Lieutenant?" Chakotay questioned upon hearing the sadness emanating from

Paris.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to burden you with my past." Paris looked away for a

moment as he struggled to regain control of his emotions.

"What happened to her?" Chakotay asked perceptively.

"She was killed in a hiking accident during Christmas break. It rained a

lot in those mountains that year, and the path wasn't safe. She ignored

all the warnings and went anyway. They couldn't get to her in time, and

she died on the way to the hospital."

"My apologies. It wasn't my intention to bring up old memories."

"It's OK. In fact, I think your program inspired me to do some of my best

work. Come on, there's more." Paris regained his ebullience as he

continued down the path. Chakotay was reminded of an artist showing off

his canvases at a gallery.

The stream continued downhill from the second pool and became a lovely

canal bedecked by shrub roses and other fauna. It ended at a small pond.

"I've never been to New England, but I used your images and the ship's

logs to conjure this landscape. What do you think?"

"It's perfect. I stayed on Martha's Vineyard one summer and this is

exactly like the camp we stayed in. Do you think you might have this

finished by tonight?" Chakotay asked with thinly veiled eagerness. Paris

didn't need to know that the last bit of information was a white lie.

"Absolutely. If you can find some reason to let me off duty early, I can

have this program fully functional by....1900 hours. Plenty of time for

you to convince your date to join you." Paris darted a glance at Chakotay,

but the first officer's face remained still.

"Consider it done. I'll arrange for you to take the afternoon off. Will

that be enough time?" 

"Yeah, no problem. Well, it's 0645. Time to report to the bridge." Paris

shut down the program and was about to exit when he noticed Chakotay's

expression.

"Something wrong?"

"If there isn't, there will be. I was supposed to meet Torres for

breakfast at 0600 and I totally forgot about it." Chakotay winced at the

tongue lashing he expected from his Chief Engineer.

"Oops. Why don't you ask her to join you here instead of the Captain? That

might make it up to her." Tom grinned at Chakotay and ducked out before

the other man could cause any serious damage to his hide.

*************

*******

Chakotay raced to the mess hall and looked for B'Elanna.

"She isn't here." A calm voice sounded behind him, and he turned to face

Kes. Her elfin face regarded him curiously.

"How long ago did she leave?" He looked pointedly at his chronometer.

Kes smiled slightly. "She waited about thirty minutes before she grabbed a

pot of coffee and blew out of here."

Chakotay's expression was rueful. "I take it she wasn't in a pleasant

mood."

"No, I think not. She mentioned something about a p'tok twisting in the

wind when she got her hands on him. Might that be you?" Her blue eyes

twinkled at him, and he wasn't sure he liked being the object of her

amusement. 

"Did she say where she was going?"

"Well, let's see, Lt. Carey came up here a few minutes ago. He was

complaining to anyone who would listen that an ill wind is blowing through

Engineering today. You might start there." 

"Thanks, Kes." Chakotay nodded slightly before walking swiftly out of the

mess. He didn't even see Captain Janeway in his haste. He passed right by

her table as if she was invisible.

Janeway looked back at the departing figure before her blue eyes met Kes's

gaze. The captain shrugged her shoulders and walked towards the array of

food. She usually had a few cups of coffee before she ate anything.

Neelix's cuisine had improved noticeably in the last two years, and it

beat Ration Pack #5 every morning. She'd rather worry about command

relations on a full stomach.

***********

Chakotay entered Engineering and looked around for B'Elanna. Hogan

approached him cautiously.

"This may not be a good time to talk to Lt. Torres," Hogan said. "She's

riding at full sail right now, and you wouldn't stand a chance."

"Is she here?" Chakotay asked.

"She was, but I convinced her to take out her aggressions in the holodeck.

I think she's running one of those Klingon survival programs at Level 7." 

"Thanks, Hogan. By the way, you both did good work on the planetary

supplies." Chakotay nodded to emphasize his words before he turned on his

heel and headed for the holodeck.

*********

Torres had killed every ghoul in sight, and her foul mood still ran

through her unabated. Even at Level 7, she was barely breathing hard.

"Computer, eliminate all safeties. Authorization Torres 115."

"Denied. Survival programs do not allow removal of safeties except by the

Captain and First Officer."

"Great. Whose lousy idea was this?" She muttered to herself.

"Mine."

Torres swung around to see Chakotay leaning against the doorway. "What are

you doing here? You're the last person I want to see right now."

"So I hear. You've been cutting a swath through Voyager this morning. I

understand I'm the cause." He gave her a pointed glance while holding his

position. It was better to be cautious if Torres was ready to serve his

head on a platter.

"Don't flatter yourself, Chakotay. I had difficulty sleeping last night

after trying to muck through your files." Torres realized what she had

said a second after it left her mouth.

She heard him draw in his breath through clenched teeth. "I see."

"Work was already in progress before I spoke with you last night. Harry

had most of it finished, but you cut me off before I could tell you."

B'Elanna's control on her temper was like a slowly melting candle suddenly

exposed to extreme temperatures.

"Great, why don't you let the whole ship see the files while you're at

it?" He shot back sarcastically.

"If you recall, you told me to get whatever help I required to finish the

job by 2200 hours. And I might add, you weren't there to receive my

report," Torres said hotly.

"Use your head, Torres. You could have given the report to Tuvok."

"What's wrong with you anyway? You've been a real ass since you've come

back on Voyager. Is this what four months of living with the Captain has

done to you? I see she's got you building bathtubs. What's next,

commodes?" Her dark eyes snapped fire at him.

Chakotay's look should have warned her to drop the subject, but she plowed

on blindly.

"Tuvok asked me and Hogan to go through the inventory. I found corrupted

files and I did what any normal person would do. I pieced them together.

End of story. If you're paranoid about something that's in those files,

that's your problem. Just what are you trying to hide, anyway?"

"This is none of your business," he hissed at her.

"You're right, it's not. But *you* are." At his surprised look, she went

on boldly, "You're my friend, and I can see you're hurting. Hell, everyone

can see it. This hasn't exactly been a banner year for you, has it?. Seska

betrays you and the rest of us, has you beaten, and steals your DNA. Then,

two more Maquis turn out to be a murderer and a traitor. Your track record

so far hasn't been exactly stellar."

"Thanks for reminding me, Torres. What's your point?" he snapped.

"My point is, you need your friends in light of recent events. We Maquis

have to stick together."

"Really? Well, in case you haven't noticed, *we Maquis* have joined this

Starfleet crew," Chakotay said..

"Well, I have a piece of advice for you, Chakotay. If you shit on your

friends continuously, they may not be around when you need them most."

Chakotay held his silence for a moment. "You have such an eloquent way of

stating things, B'Elanna. I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"Is there some special reason you came down here, or do you just have some

perverse desire to abuse yourself?" B'Elanna asked.

"I came to find out what was bothering you. Obviously, that was a

mistake." He started to leave when her voice stopped him.

"Wait." She measured him for a moment with her eyes. "We've been through a

lot of scrapes together, haven't we?"

"You might say that. We did what we had to do to survive," Chakotay said

uneasily, wondering what B'Elanna was getting at.

Torres renewed her pacing, knowing she had to bring up the Captain again.

"I did a lot of thinking while you were gone. The Maquis are the only real

family I've ever known."

"I used to feel that way too." He waited for her to continue.

Torres continued her circle, as if she could grind her emotions out like a

campfire. "I don't take family lightly, Chakotay."

"What are you implying, B'Elanna?" The edge crept back into his own voice

as B'Elanna pressed home her point.

"Just that family may not mean the same to everyone. Friendship may ride

lightly on the shoulders of some." She was being deliberately cryptic, and

he took the bait.

"Speak plainly." Irritation sharpened his normally placid tone.

She stopped directly in front of him and crossed her arms. Anger

brightened her eyes to a feverish tint. "All right. I hope that your

relationship with the Captain won't come between us. Is that plain enough

for you?"

Chakotay's mouth opened slightly in surprise. "Why would you think that,

Torres?"

B'Elanna walked forward and grasped his forearms with her own. "You are my

closest friend, Chakotay. You've saved my life numerous times, and I've

done the same for you without once thinking about it. Now, I feel like

we're drifting apart as friends. Even before you were stranded, I felt it.

You used to always come to me when you needed someone to talk to, now you

always go to her. I feel like you've replaced me with her as your best

friend."

Chakotay considered his words carefully before proceeding. "B'Elanna, my

relationship with you is unique and can't be compared to my friendship

with Captain Janeway. I feel...responsible for you and the rest of the

Maquis on this ship. You are right, we are family, and you're like the

sister I never had. We are so far away from everything familiar, and we

need each other now more than ever."

Torres sputtered in contempt. *Sister? Is that how he sees me? How

flattering.* She bit back a sharp retort and said, "It still doesn't

explain your attitude the other day or the way you've been acting since

you returned to Voyager."

Chakotay sighed and prompted, "Go on."

"I didn't appreciate your comment about not being alone down there on the

planet. 'I was with the Captain, remember?' I didn't like the innuendo in

your voice. Just what were you trying to prove by throwing that in my face

when all I was doing was showing simple concern for you? How the hell do

you expect people to act when you've been gone four months? "

Chakotay's jaw tightened and he lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry if I gave you

the wrong idea, B'Elanna."

Torres snorted again and grabbed up her towel and weapon. She threw him a

disgusted look and said, "Let me know when you get your act together,

Chakotay. Maybe we can talk then."

Chakotay sighed and followed her out a short time later. The simple

pleasure he had experienced at seeing the holoprogram had completely

eroded, and he knew it was going to be a trying day.

End of Part Two

Drift: ST Voyager-C/T/J, PG-13 3/4

by Elizabeth Klisiewicz

Janeway took a sip of coffee while she finished reviewing the manifest

from the planet. *Not everything made it up here, and thank God for that.*

How would she have explained the bathtub to Tuvok? Oh, he wouldn't say

anything directly, but she expected he would send her some quizzical looks

in that Vulcan way he had about him. As it was, things were strained

enough between her and Chakotay, and she didn't need more speculation than

she already had. *Ah, Chakotay, what do I do about you?* She didn't get a

chance to complete her thought process, because the chime on her door

rang.

"Come in."

Chakotay entered almost hesitantly and came to stand before her desk.

"Captain, Lt. Paris has requested the afternoon off to take care of some

personal business."

She looked at him carefully. This was a routine request that didn't

require her attention, so there must be some other reason for his visit.

"Things are slow right now....I have no problem with that. Chakotay, since

you're here, I'd like to talk with you about something. Please sit down."

She gestured to the seat in front of her desk and he silently conceded to

her request.

"Would you like some coffee? I'm about to refresh my cup." Janeway placed

her PADD down on the desk in front of her and stood up. He nodded and she

walked over to the replicator. While she ordered the rich brew they both

favored, he happened to catch a glimpse of her PADD. For a moment, he

couldn't believe his eyes. Janeway was ordinarily the most organized

person he knew, but this was ridiculous. He scanned her agenda again and

there was no mistake. At the very bottom of her list, it said *Talk to

Chakotay about us.* He shot a glance in her direction and sat back in his

chair before she caught him snooping. Raw emotions started thrumming in

his head and he tried desperately to find his center before he said

something he'd later regret.

Janeway came back around behind the desk. She handed him his mug and

settled back down with the warm comfort of her mug caressing her hands.

"Chakotay, I heard that you're having some difficulty adjusting to your

normal duties. Is that true?"

"Let me guess, has Tuvok been advising you on how to handle things again?"

Chakotay challenged.

Janeway bit back a sharp retort and her jaw twitched. The involuntary

movement wasn't lost on Chakotay, and he was glad she was feeling

*something* under that cool exterior. "Commander, I'm concerned about you.

If you need some time off...."

"Concerned about me, or concerned about making sure my job gets done? And

don't you think I've had enough time off, Captain?" His eyes were like

black currants, ripe on the vine, but right now they were darkened by

frustration and anger.

Janeway waited, hoping Chakotay would compose himself. Any discussions on

protocol were bound to be met with resistance, considering the

circumstances. But the silence held, and the room grew heavy with their

mutual tensions. 

"I'm only trying to help, Chakotay, surely you can see that..." Janeway's

voice trailed off. She wasn't sure how to proceed.

"All right, why don't *you* tell me how I'm having trouble adjusting,

*Captain*?" His derisive tone disturbed her more than his deliberate

emphasis of her title.

"Well, there is the matter of the ship's manifest. There was certainly no

urgency in leaving this system, yet you demanded Tuvok tie up resources

for a good part of the night to finish an inventory. I understand this

report isn't even complete. Furthermore, various crew members have

complained that you're treating them unfairly. I'd like to understand why

this transition is so difficult for you, Chakotay," Janeway said softly.

"Don't you get it, *Kathryn*?" He paused for a beat as the deliberate use

of her name drove his point home. "I've lived with you for four months,

we've become lovers, and now we're back on Voyager. I suppose this is easy

for you. You seem to be able to turn your emotions on and off like a

faucet."

"No," she said flatly, "It's one of the most difficult things I've ever

had to do."

"I'm sorry that you feel our relationship is such a burden. By the way,

was this one of your agenda items?" His dark eyes stabbed her with his

anger, and she knew he had seen the PADD on her desk.

Janeway said quietly, "This is the very thing I was afraid of, Chakotay.

Relationships often fail because each party has different expectations of

the other."

"You want expectations? All right, here's one for you. Since you ask me to

respect your title, why don't you respect mine? You call me Chakotay, and

I'll call you Kathryn. Otherwise, I expect to be called Commander,

*Captain*." His tone was so flippant that she almost missed the slight

impersonation of her own banter that he had thrown in.

"Point taken," she said dryly. "But I was being serious, Commander. What

expectations do you have of me?"

"This relationship....what we have between us, is not a scientific

experiment you can analyze and categorize neatly. And it's not an item for

your daily agenda. If this is something that is meant to happen, we have

to give it room to grow. There are things I need....When is it OK for me

to call you Kathryn? Will we ever resume what we had on the planet? I

can't just turn my back on this and pretend it never happened."

Her dark blue eyes widened and were filled with unresolved feelings. "I'm

not asking you to do that, Chakotay. However, I'm still trying to figure

out all of this in my own mind."

"I thought we already did that on the planet. I don't understand what it

is you need to figure out." Frustration colored his words and he knotted

his hands together. "I told you a long time ago how I felt about you. I

thought you felt the same."

Janeway remained silent for a moment. "I do. But it's not the same for me,

Chakotay. I didn't have the command relationship to deal with."

"Oh, really, and you think you're the only person who's ever had to deal

with command protocols, Captain? I hate to bring up a sore subject, but I

was always walking a fine line when it came to Seska."

Janeway felt herself grow more frustrated as the conversation unfolded.

She retorted, "Yes, and we see where that got you, didn't we?"

Hurt flashed across his face for an instant and she wished she could take

back the words, but it was too late. "I'm sorry, Commander. That comment

was out of line."

"Apology accepted." His professional mask was firmly in place, but his

body language was screaming at her. She needed to pursue this

conversation, or she might lose him for good.

"I want you to know how I feel.....Chakotay." His handsome face brightened

slightly at the use of his name. She continued carefully, "Every part of

our relationship is changed now that we've become intimate. There are

always problems inherent in a relationship where one officer is

subordinate to another. If I want to go on an away mission, are you going

to stop me? Are you going to challenge and question all my decisions? And

then there is the problem of favoritism. Will the crew think I am less of

a Captain because I am involved with you? If I commend you for something,

will people think I'm doing it because you deserve it or because we're

lovers?"

"I don't care what people think, Kathryn," he said passionately.

"But I do. And I have to live with myself, and this is why I need time to

work through this." 

"Why is it that you have to analyze each and every move you make? Why

can't you just accept the present and take one step at a time?" Chakotay

asked.

"I wish it was that easy. But you are asking me to go against the very

fabric of my being, Chakotay. Maybe you learned such acceptance as a

member of the Maquis, when every breath might well be your last, but I

don't operate this way. I'm sorry." She sighed and set down her mug.

"So am I." Chakotay said with regret. So much for inviting her to the

holodeck. It was obviously too soon. He stood up, set his cup down, and

started to leave.

"Chakotay, please have hope." Her candid words stopped him and he looked

back at her with a question in his eyes.

"Kathryn?"

"We've only been back on the ship for 24 hours. Try and be the patient man

everyone thinks you are. I really do need a little more time, but I

promise you, this *will* work out, and not just because my statistical

analysis verifies this. My gut tells me it will." Janeway kept a straight

face, but there was humor laced with concern in her tone.

He considered her words, and gave her one of his rare smiles before he

left the Ready Room.

***********

It was a quiet day in Engineering, despite the turbulent emotions coursing

through Torres. She decided to go off duty a little early and visit Kes.

Maybe the young Ocampan could help her sort things out. At this hour,

she'd be in the hydroponics bay tending the vegetable garden. Kes usually

picked the produce for the night meal, and sure enough, she was there when

Torres entered. B'Elanna approached the slight, blonde woman who was

fussing over a flowering plant.

"Hello, B'Elanna." She gave Torres a bright smile.

"Hi. I thought about what you said earlier, and I decided to take you up

on your offer," Torres said quietly.

"I'm glad you did. Sometimes talking to an impartial person can help." Kes

put the finishing touches on the soil preparation.

"What is that?" Torres indicated the plant with its delicate pink and

white flowers.

"It's a Terran plant called a bleeding heart. Perhaps you've come across

it in your travels?" Kes looked up to gauge B'Elanna's interest and

noticed the wry expression on her face. 

"No, I wasn't much for botany I'm afraid. They forced us to take an

introductory course at the Academy, and I barely got through that. Do you

need any help here?" Torres looked around for something to occupy her.

"No, but I think *you* do. Care if we talk while I work?"

"Not at all. So, you sense trouble in me?" B'Elanna asked uneasily, not

sure how much Kes actually guessed about her situation.

"Not just in you, there are several others on the ship projecting dark

emotions too." Kes looked upset and stopped her work for a moment.

*Gee, who could that be?* Torres kept the last bit to herself, but Kes

looked at her sharply and managed a smile.

"I see a lot, B'Elanna. Everyone passes through the mess hall sooner or

later and they may not be aware of it, but their body language speaks

volumes. I admit that some people are harder to read than others. Take the

Captain and Chakotay for instance, they seem to be on the outs right now."

Kes gave Torres a sideways glance to see her reaction. She was rewarded

with a frown from the other woman.

"Really? Why do you say that?" Torres asked nonchalantly. 

"Chakotay came in looking for you this morning and he didn't even see the

Captain. He seemed very preoccupied with finding you."

"Oh, he found me." B'Elanna's quiet tone did nothing to hide her

confusion.

"Want to talk about it?" Kes asked as she started fertilizing some

vegetable plants. Her kind blue eyes expressed her concern.

"It's just that....things are so different now that they're back. Chakotay

and I used to be best friends, especially after Seska betrayed us all. He

needed someone and he chose me for his confidante. And when I needed

someone to talk to, he was always there for me." Torres crossed her arms

and sighed.

"And now?"

"Now, nothing is the same. He obviously has something going with the

Captain, and he's not there for me anymore. He's making unreasonable

demands and he's not following through on commitments." Her brown eyes

looked pained and she hesitated to add any more commentary.

"I see. Go on," Kes prompted as she proceeded down the row and started

picking ripened vegetables.

"What do I do in the meantime? Do I just pretend that nothing has

happened?" Torres asked.

Kes looked thoughtful. "No, of course not. I think you have to give

Chakotay time to sort through his feelings. But more important than that,

I think you have to give yourself time as well."

"That's easier said than done. I want my *old* friend back. How do I

accomplish this?" Torres asked impatiently.

"I'm not sure that's possible, B'Elanna. Someone else has entered the

picture. It's bound to change the dynamics in any relationship. Look at

the problems Neelix and I went through when Tom showed an interest in me.

It was very difficult, but we worked it out. I told Neelix he had to stop

doubting my feelings and trust me. And isn't it funny how it turned out?

Neelix and Tom are friends now." Kes smiled at B'Elanna and continued to

place vegetables in her basket.

"When you look it at that way, I guess there's hope, isn't there?"

B'Elanna commented.

"There's *always* hope, B'Elanna." Kes finished her gathering and stood

facing Torres. "I hope this has helped you put things in perspective."

"Yes, actually, it has. By the way, who's the plant for?" Torres indicated

the bleeding heart which was now wrapped in a decorative foil.

"Someone who has a need for it," Kes answered simply. "I have a delivery

to make after I visit the mess hall with these vegetables. Neelix will

have a fit if I'm late."

"We wouldn't want to have that, now would we?" Torres gave a small chuckle

at the thought of Neelix fuming and pacing in the galley. "Well, Kes,

thanks again. You've given me something to think about." 

"You're very welcome. Anytime, B'Elanna."

********

It had been a tiring day. It seemed like there was a constant stream of

visitors, so when yet another person requested an audience at the end of

Alpha shift, Janeway was at her wits end.

"Come in," she said, not bothering to hide her impatience. She felt a tic

developing in her left eye, and she willed it away.

"Captain, if this is a bad time, I can come back later," Kes said

tentatively. Her soothing voice was an instant balm to Janeway's nerves.

The plant in her hands grabbed the Captain's curiosity and helped her

forget her own problems.

"No, actually Kes, you are *exactly* what I need right now. Please, sit

down. Can I get you something?" Janeway waved tiredly in the direction of

the replicator.

"No, thanks. It's almost dinner, and I can't stay long." Kes placed the

plant in front of the Captain. Janeway looked at the flowers with

appreciation.

"Are these for me? What's the occasion?" A keen interest sparkled in

Janeway's dark blue eyes.

"This is a welcome back plant from Neelix and me. It's our way of showing

our appreciation for all you've done for us." Kes smiled and waited for

the questions she knew were forthcoming.

"Thank you, Kes. Tell me, what is this plant called? I know I've seen it

somewhere."

Kes answered, "It's called a bleeding heart, Captain. It's supposed to

bloom in the late spring on your world, and it likes the shade. We have

more in the hydroponics bay if this one doesn't make it."

"Ah, I see my reputation precedes me. I admit I'm not much of a gardener.

I've never had a high tolerance for insects, especially not now," Janeway

said with irony, a smile quirking up her mouth at the corner.

Kes winced in sympathy. "I saw this plant on the ship's database and I

noticed it does very well in New England. That's where you were born,

isn't it?"

"Yes," Janeway said introspectively. Her attention returned to Kes. "That

was very thoughtful of you, Kes."

"I thought it might remind you of home, Captain. Perhaps it could be a

symbol of hope for you."

Janeway smiled mischievously. "Is that all? I thought maybe you were

trying to tell me that someone's heart is broken."

"Not at all, Captain," Kes said, an answering smile lighting her delicate

features

"Well, I shall do my best not to kill this plant, Kes. I actually did

quite well with Neelix's Talaxian tomatoes when we were on the surface.

You would have been proud of me." Janeway felt much better all of a

sudden.

Kes stood up to leave. "Well, I better get to the mess hall, Captain. If

there's anything you need, let me know."

"I will. Thanks again, Kes," Janeway said thoughtfully as her mind turned

once again to Chakotay. She'd been more than a little hard on him, and she

owed him an apology.

*********

Here's a smile from the dark side

a fire on the rise

your trust in me a luxury....

Excerpt from How Sweet by Ultra Vivid Scene

*********

Paris was putting the finishing touches on Chakotay's program, but he

needed a break. He terminated the program and exited the holodeck. As he

rounded the corner, his mind was not on his surroundings, and he almost

knocked a slight figure to the ground.

"Captain, are you all right?" He righted her with his hands and she nodded

at him.

"Fine. It serves me right. I wasn't looking where I was going. It's just

the jolt I needed to wake me up before dinner." Her eyes looked tired, and

Paris restrained himself from expressing his concern. According to Kes,

who had just visited him on the holodeck, the Captain didn't need any more

well wishers. She was worn out by the nonstop visits she had received

throughout the day. Kes had approved of the program and suggested that Tom

show it to the Captain. Tom wasn't sure if Chakotay would appreciate that,

but he didn't have to show her everything.

"Captain, do you have a minute?" Paris decided to go for it.

She hesitated visibly. He knew she was warring with the need to grab some

time for herself, and the desire to please her crew. "Yes, of course."

"I've been working on a program and I think you'd really appreciate it."

Another thought pushed its way into his head, and it took a great deal of

intestinal fortitude to prevent a mischievous smile from breaking out on

his face.

"I'd like to see it, but...." 

"Captain, I think you *need* to see it. Perhaps it will help you relax,"

Tom said.

"Very well." She followed him back into the holodeck with a resigned look

on her face. What could he possibly show her that would relax her more

than a hot soak in a tub and a good night's sleep?

Tom activated the program. "Computer, activate Paris Alpha C 179. Level

1."

Janeway looked at Paris. "This program has levels? Tom, I'm really not in

the mood for exercise right now. I realize that it *is* supposed to relax

one, but it's really not what I had in mind."

"Captain, it's not what you think at all. Take a look around you." He

stood slightly behind her and couldn't stop a grin this time.

Her mouth opened in surprise and delight at the woodland surroundings.

Bird song sounded from the numerous tree canopies and the breeze carried

the delicious smell of spring in all its glory. Janeway lifted back her

head and sniffed with delight. Suddenly, she realized that she was alone.

She shrugged her shoulders and decided to explore. 

There was a garden path ahead of her and she followed the paving stones

into the cool embrace of the forest. Lady slippers and bleeding hearts

nestled contentedly by the edge of a stream. She stopped and examined them

with a clinical eye. Was Kes in on this with Tom? Very likely. Oh, well,

they had good intentions. Somehow, she knew there was a message in this

for her, but she wasn't sure what it was yet. She continued along the path

and noticed it was brighter up ahead. The path must end there. Sure

enough, the treeline ended abruptly, and she was treated to yet another

surprise.

She was on top of a hill overlooking a charming New England cottage on a

pond. Then she did a double take and took a closer look. *Wait a minute,

Kathryn, how could he know about Grandmother's house on the Cape? Unless

he was snooping in my files.* She couldn't find it in her to be angry at

Paris. The pastoral scene beckoned to her and she walked eagerly down the

hill.

She rounded the corner of the house and stood facing the front portal. It

was exactly like she remembered from her summer trips to see Grandma.

Leila Sullivan's Cape Cod style house had been built in 1720. The wooden

shingles on this replica showed exactly the same degree of weathering as

the original. Concord grape vines wound themselves confidently around the

trellis in the side yard, and caused her to remember something amusing.

Her grandmother had always made her own wine, and she sometimes gave

little Katie a sip. She always accepted, because she didn't want to hurt

Grandma's feelings. But to this day, she didn't care much for wine,

especially red wine. Grandma was good at many things, but winemaking

wasn't one of them. Through the years, she continued to call Kathryn

*little Katie*, even after she was graduated from the Academy and had

accepted her commission. Still, the sight of those grape vines called up

warm, comforting memories of her maternal grandmother.

Janeway entered the house and looked into the front parlor. She sighed at

the sight of the wingback chair and afghan covering it. The only thing

missing was Ozzy, her grandmother's favorite cat. She walked over to the

chair and touched the patterned fabric with her hand. The sturdy material

was faded from years of exposure to the sun that slanted through the

window on most afternoons. *I'll only sit down for a minute,* she decided.

She settled her tired frame into the old chair and rested her head against

its back. Her hair was twisted into its usual knot and the pins dug into

her scalp. She reached up to release her heavy masses of hair when a voice

startled her.

"Let me do that for you." 

Chakotay was leaning against the doorway, gazing at her fondly. It should

have felt like an intrusion, but he was oddly welcome. He walked forward

and relieved her head of its burden. "There, is that better?"

"Yes, thank you. Chakotay, may I ask what you're doing here?" Her eyes

were relaxed and genuinely interested in his response. Shining, auburn

tresses fell in silken splendor across her shoulders and he longed to bury

his face into their scented depths.

"I could ask you the same thing, Cap...Kathryn. This is my program."

Amusement mixed with some other undefined emotion crossed his face and

curved his lips into a smile.

"Your program? But Tom Paris said this was something that would help me

relax." 

"He's right, it will. But you weren't supposed to see this program...yet.

I wanted to surprise you with it," Chakotay admitted.

Janeway looked up at him with surprise, and suddenly a stray tear etched

its way down her face. He walked over to her and brushed it away with his

hand. "I thought it would make you happy."

"It does, Chakotay. It's just that....I've been terrible to you in the

past few days. I wanted to apologize for my behavior."

"Well, I promised I would give you space, and I kept pushing my needs on

you. I hope this program will make it up to you." He looked around with

satisfaction before his gaze returned to her face for approval.

"You're not angry with me anymore?"

"No, but you might be angry with me," Chakotay said sheepishly.

"What do you mean?"

"Look around you. What do you think of your surroundings? I'm very

impressed by Paris's skill."

"He did a marvelous job," she said agreeably. "The details are exact. Wait

a minute.....I guess I shouldn't ask you how you got access to my personal

files, should I?"

"Ah, no. It's what you would call a 'Maquis operation'." A mischievous

grin lit up his face and she returned it measure for measure.

"I see. All right, then I don't want to know, except....just how many of

my personal files did you see?"

"Just some vacation photos. I wanted to capture a place you found

special." He gave her one of those captivating smiles again, and she felt

something in her begin to weaken. *That's not the only thing he's

captured, the scoundrel, and doesn't he know it.*

"This is only Level 1 of the program?" Janeway asked, turning the subject

to something less personal.

"Paris has a little more fine tuning to do on certain sections. Would you

like to see it when it's done?" He had the enthusiasm of a little boy at

times, and she couldn't help but respond positively to it. Chakotay had

worked so hard to please her on the planet that she sometimes felt like

she took him for granted. But not now.

"Yes, I would like that very much." She pulled the afghan closer about her

and Chakotay took that as a signal to leave.

"Well, I just wanted to check out Level 1. Sorry I disturbed you. I'll

leave you to relax." His tone of voice said just the opposite. He wanted

to stay.

"Chakotay, please, this is your creation as much as Tom's. Stay, and keep

me company." Her blue eyes pleaded with him.

"I'd like that," he said shyly, and took the companion chair near at hand.

"Perhaps we can replicate some dinner," she suggested.

"Perhaps." But food was far from his mind. His black eyes transfixed her

and she couldn't release her gaze. Her eyes dropped to his lips and

returned to the rest of his face, and he smiled, for he knew she felt what

he did.

"Chakotay, I..." Heat coursed through her, but she couldn't blame it on a

fire, for the nearby fireplace was cold and gray.

Chakotay got up and sat down on the floor next to her chair. He lifted her

hand from where it rested on the coverlet and wrapped it within his own.

"I know you need time, and I want to give it to you. But can you deny the

effect this place has on both of us? It feels like home, doesn't it?"

"Yes," she admitted with a sigh, "It feels like we're a million miles away

from everything right now."

He nodded in agreement. "Can't you forget for just a little while,

Kathryn?"

"I can try, but..." He covered her mouth with his hand.

"No objections. Just relax with me and enjoy the moment." He moved behind

her and suddenly his warm hands surrounded her neck and started kneading

the knots he knew were there. He remembered the response he had gotten

from her the last time, and he wasn't disappointed. A groan escaped her

lips and she was breathing faster than before. In four months, he had

gotten pretty good at knowing the best spots to touch her, and he

proceeded to start mapping out a course. He did this as much for her as

himself, for her reaction got him hot and bothered. Suddenly, he could

stand it no longer. His hands stopped and she tipped her head back to look

at him.

"Why are you stopping?" Her voice was slightly slurred from exhaustion.

"Because if I continue, I can't guarantee where my hands will end up,

Captain." His dark, soulful eyes were black with passion.

"I see. Well, then, please continue." There was no mistaking the message

in her voice.

"Are you sure?" Chakotay asked hesitantly.

In response she took one of his hands in her own and started sucking his

fingers. She looked up at him with naked desire on her face and answered,

"Yes, I'm sure."

End of Part Three

Drift: ST Voyager-C/T/J, PG-13 4/4

by Elizabeth Klisiewicz

Tom Paris was the last one to leave Sandrine's that night. It was 2300

hours, and most of the holobar's regular patrons had the early shift.

Paris decided to work on Chakotay's program so he could finish it up

quickly. He had a feeling that both Janeway and Chakotay needed it. It had

been a brilliant stroke of genius to invite the Captain to use the

program, then call Chakotay down to review it on his own. Paris knew that

Chakotay was a perfectionist, especially if it was something he had paid

for, and he would check out every last detail. How could he help but find

the Captain? From there, he figured nature would take its course.

Paris noticed that his program was still running on Holodeck 2. The

security lock was not enabled, so he figured it was safe to enter. *Hey,

maybe I can talk to Chakotay and finish up tonight.* The door slid open

silently and the couple standing nearby were so wrapped up in each other

that they didn't notice him standing there. He was about to open his mouth

to announce his presence, but some strange impulse stopped him. Janeway

and Chakotay were molded against each other as they engaged in an

extremely wet and sensual open-mouthed kiss. Paris was starting to get

turned on watching them. *OK, so I admit it, I'm a bit of a voyeur. And it

sure is fun to see the Captain let loose.* Chakotay's hands were roaming

freely over Janeway's body and when he fondled one particularly sensitive

place, she threw her head back and let out a moan that caused the hairs on

Tom's neck to stand on end. *Now I'm intruding*, he thought. Paris coughed

quietly, and the startled pair flew apart.

Paris explained, "The door was unlocked. I wanted to see if Chakotay

needed any more changes made."

Janeway flushed a deep red and looked away. Chakotay looked like he wanted

to be everywhere but in this particular situation. Paris knew the other

man valued his privacy, and to be caught in the act, well, that had to be

particularly galling. It was one thing to tease Chakotay about jumping the

Captain, but it was quite another to have it confirmed.

"We were....umm.." Janeway tried to act casual, but her florid color

remained. In fact, Paris couldn't help but notice that the color not only

suffused her face, but it extended down into her uniform. He wondered what

it would be like to see....*Paris, enough already. Only two weeks without

Jenny Delaney and you're already going crazy.*

"Yeah, I could see that," Paris said with a grin. He gave Chakotay a

knowing smile as they both remembered the time Chakotay had caught a

couple members of the crew necking on the turbolift. The Commander's

answering glare told him he remembered the incident well and didn't

appreciate the reference.

"We didn't think anyone was around...." Janeway started to say, then

changed her mind and clamped her mouth shut. Paris was fascinated by the

disarray of both their uniforms, as well as the hasty attempt by the

Captain to pull her hair into its usual bun. 

"Ah, hah. Well, I didn't see anything. I'm glad you both liked the

program." He gave them both a wink and disappeared through the arch and

out the door.

Janeway and Chakotay looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders. 

"This is what I was afraid of, Chakotay." She managed a small smile. 

Chakotay patted her shoulder. "What's done is done, Captain. Good night."

"Good night, Chakotay." She figured she'd give him five minutes and then

return to her quarters.

*******

A few weeks passed, and things seemed to settle back to normal. Torres was

bent over a console when she heard a familiar voice. "Can you spare a few

moments?"

She straightened up and gave Chakotay the once over. *God, he's smiling.

And it seems genuine.* Torres looked at him doubtfully and was about to

make a sarcastic remark, but something stopped her. She didn't want to be

the cause for any more unhappiness. If anything, the passing of time had

caused her to reflect soberly on her behavior and make her realize she had

been a trifle hard on him.

"You wanted to say something, Torres? Feel free to take your best shot,"

Chakotay quipped.

She grinned and said, "I'm trying awfully hard to restrain myself. I mean,

that smile of yours could light up a room without any electricity. You

seem awfully pleased about something."

"Actually, I am." He didn't elaborate, but she didn't need him to. She

knew enough about his situation to guess that things were going his way

for a change.

"Good. So, what did you want to talk about? We're a little short handed

today. Hogan has contracted some kind of flu, and I'm trying to fill in

while he's out."

"I wanted to thank you, B'Elanna." He nodded to emphasize his words.

"Thank me?" She looked incredulous. "For what? Admittedly, you *were*

acting like an ass, but I was being totally shitty to you."

"I deserved it. Instead of taking action, I was wallowing in self pity,

and the crew suffered for it."

"Yeah, well, that's life. We survived, as you can see. Your friends are

still here for you, Chakotay."

"I'm glad to hear you say that, B'Elanna. Are you up for a game of

hoverball? Say, 1900 hours?"

"Absolutely. I'll see you then. Better take some practice shots before I

get there, because I'm going to pulverize you. I've had a lot of time to

practice while you were gone."

He smirked at her and was about to leave when she added something.

"Chakotay, maybe you can answer something for me."

"What?" He noticed a gleam in her eyes, and wasn't sure he wanted to hear

her question.

"Do you know why Tom Paris has been strutting around here these past few

days? He's driving us all crazy with some secret he has. He keeps denying

that he knows anything, but I know him. He's so full of himself, I want to

smack him one. Usually, when there's something going on, he's the first to

tell everyone." 

Chakotay looked uncomfortable for a moment, but it was enough for B'Elanna

to ascertain that the secret must be about *him*. "I really wouldn't know,

B'Elanna. Paris and I aren't exactly friends."

"Oh, really? Then why are you spending so much working on that holodeck

program with him?" She threw him a sharp glance.

"He's getting well paid for his efforts, Torres. Paris doesn't work for

free. Well, I'll see you later then."

He ducked out of Engineering before she could ask him any more questions.

Torres just smiled to herself and returned to work. She'd have fun getting

Tom to spill his guts, and her smile grew almost lascivious as she thought

of ways to convince him. *Torres, get your mind out of the gutter and back

to work before you get yourself in trouble.*

********

Well I'm thinkin 'bout your presence

I'm thinkin' all about your hands, about your mouth.....

Excerpt from Cut Throat by Ultra Vivid Scene

*****************

Janeway was in her quarters gazing out at the stars when her comm badge

chirped.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

"Go ahead, Commander," she said absently.

"If you can spare some time, the holodeck program is finished. Would you

like to join me?"

A smile stole onto her face. "Yes, I've been looking forward to it. What

should I wear?"

"Anything but a uniform. Oh, and bring your appetite. Chakotay out."

A few minutes later she arrived on Holodeck 2. He was nowhere in sight,

but she soon heard his familiar tread and his dark head emerged from the

woods. Her breath caught at his outfit. Chakotay's chest was bare and his

golden skin glowed with some inner light that seemed to radiate towards

her and catch her in its net. A medicine bag hung from his neck with a

rawhide thong, and he wore buckskin leggings and moccasins. He smiled at

her reaction and stopped in front of her.

"You didn't tell me we were going native," Janeway remarked with a quirk

of her mouth. His smile deepened and she thought how unfair it was that a

man should have dimples like that, and what's more, be aware of them and

use them as a powerful weapon.

"You look lovely, Kathryn." His warm eyes scorched her as he took in her

red jumpsuit that clung to every curve. Her hair was pulled back loosely

in a ponytail, but he'd make short work of that later on.

"Well, follow me," Chakotay said mysteriously. He started back the way he

had come from, and turned back slightly to make sure she was following

him.

"Are you going to tell me what this is about?" Janeway increased her pace

to keep up with him, but he merely threw her an amused glance.

"If I did that, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it? Now, no more

questions." He pretended to be put out with her, but she caught the

twinkle in his eyes. They walked down to the pond and she stopped short.

"A rowboat? It looks exactly the same as the one you were going to build,"

she exclaimed happily.

"It *is* the same." He took her hand and she followed him onto the dock,

where he helped her in. One end of the boat was higher than the other and

had a built-in backrest. She smiled at his thoughtfulness as she settled

herself comfortably into the boat.

"I suppose this is like the headboard you built me?" Janeway's easy tone

soothed him, and he smiled to hear how relaxed she was.

"Yes. I try to anticipate your needs before you even have them. My wish is

your command." He untied the boat from its mooring and started rowing.

"I'll keep that in mind." She looked around for a picnic basket and

glanced at him suspiciously. "I thought you said I should bring my

appetite."

Chakotay laughed wickedly. "I didn't say what *kind* of appetite, did I?"

"You're bad," she said, shaking her head with a laugh. Unfortunately, her

stomach gave her away. Chakotay started at the loud growling emanating

from the other end of the boat.

"Don't worry, Kathryn, there really *is* food on the agenda." Chakotay

said this with a straight face, and she knew he was teasing her again.

She raised an eyebrow. "So, is that all I am to you is an agenda item,

*Commander*?

"Touche, *Captain*." They both laughed as they remembered the painful

conversation of a few weeks earlier.

Janeway eyed his garb with frank admiration and more than a little

curiosity. "Tell me, Chakotay, what tribe are you from? You've never

mentioned it specifically." Janeway waited patiently for his answer.

"Before I tell you that, let me tell you a story that my grandmother's

friend told me many years ago. It's a long one, so make yourself

comfortable." He smiled slightly as she adjusted her position on the other

end of the boat.

"Kathryn, I think you might be more comfortable down on this end of the

boat. Why don't you come here, and relax against me?" He offered

hopefully.

"That sounds lovely, Chakotay, but you won't be able to row the boat,"

Janeway answered with a hint of mischief in her voice.

"We can....drift along with the current." Chakotay pulled up the oars and

laid them in the bottom of the boat.

Kathryn hesitated for a moment, but her common sense won out and she

carefully crawled to his end of the boat. She sat on the seat facing him.

"How's this?"

Chakotay shook his head slightly and grinned. He beckoned her over to sit

with her back to him. "Don't be silly, woman. I won't bite you."

She raised her eyebrows at him, for he *had* done that on more than one

occasion, and this atmosphere was conducive to such behavior. He picked up

her train of thought and his dimples deepened. "I promise I'll be a

perfect gentlemen. Besides, I have to tell you a story. At the very least,

my mouth will be busy."

A giggle escaped her and she finally complied with his wishes. She had to

admit, his chest did make a very good pillow. "This is a story from the

Hopi Indian tribe and how a great chief's son made the first journey

through the Grand Canyon.

'"Long ago, on the enormous far rim of the Grand Canyon in Arizona, lived

the

ancestors of the Snake Clan, who belonged to the Hopi Indian tribe.

Chief of the Hopis had a very wise son, who liked to sit and meditate on

the

edge of the canyon rim. He tried many times to imagine where the powerful

river far below finally ended.

Experienced ancient men of their nation did not know the answer for Wise

Son. Their council leaders had different ideas among themselves. One

thought

the river took a secret course through enormous underground passages.

Another thought it entered the middle of the world and there it nurtured

large and dangerous reptiles.

Impatient, Wise Son said to his father, the Chief, 'Is it not time for me

to

seek my quest? I wish to go down the great river and find the place where

it

ends.'

Proud of his son's desire for accomplishment, the Chief gladly granted him

permission to follow his quest. Wise Son, overjoyed with his coming

venture,

planned specifically for every need. His family and tribal friends helped

him to design and to build a waterproof boat that could be closed

entirely,

like a cocoon.

He constructed a long pushing-pole to help him navigate the waters. The

Shaman tied prayer sticks at the top of the pole, with special blessings

for

a safe journey.

Finally, the day arrived for Wise Son to launch his special canoe. The

Chief

and his warriors arrived with supplies of food, good wishes, and more

prayer

sticks.

Week after week, Wise Son drifted with the river. He was happy. He learned

to keep his boat in the main current, though it carried him through

several

turbulent side routes, including rapids and tunnel-like caves. He

victoriously came though these experiences with joy in his heart.

On and on Wise Son traveled, winding his way out of steep canyons and

through flat meadowlands. He caught fresh fish for his main food supply.

One

day, Wise Son noticed a change in the taste of the water. It was salty and

he knew that he should not drink it. Then to his surprise, he suddenly

floated into a great body of water that extended as far as he could see.

He

had discovered the place where the mighty river ended, in the ocean where

the sun sleeps!....."

His voice caressed her mind like velvet. She felt all her troubles slip

away as the boat drifted aimlessly in the stream. Janeway's hand trailed

in the water and she sighed as he continued to relate his tale. Her

thoughts slipped back to the time on the planet when he had told her his

Angry Warrior tale. That moment in time would stay suspended forever in

her mind, frozen with its loveliness and fragility like fossilized

amber....*Why am I thinking of bugs*?

*********

Chakotay looked down at the Captain who was nearly asleep in her relaxed

state. Suddenly her eyes snapped open and she was fully alert. "What a

lovely story, Chakotay. Thank you for sharing it with me. But you still

didn't answer my question."

"What question was that?" 

"What tribe are you from?" Janeway repeated with fond exasperation.

"I thought you'd figured that out by now, Kathryn. I belong to your tribe.

I go where you go." Chakotay's face was solemn as he added yet another vow

to stay by his Captain. He heard her breath catch at his pronouncement.

Kathryn sat up and took his face in her hands. She stroked his cheeks,

caressed his lips and traced his tattoo as if she was trying to memorize

his features. "Thank you, Chakotay."

"You're welcome," he said warmly as the boat arrived at its destination.

"Tell me, was there some point to that story other than entertainment?"

Her sharp eyes examined him as she hopped lightly from the craft.

"What point do you think there was?" 

"Oh, let's see, we're drifting in a boat and so is the wise son. And there

are numerous descriptions of his hazardous journey. Tell me, Chakotay, has

it really been that bad?" Her eyes crinkled with laughter and he smiled

back at her almost shyly.

"Come on," he said, taking her hand and pulling her down the path. "I have

something special to show you."

They followed the stream to its end, and Kathryn's mouth opened up in

wonder at the multiple leveled pool and waterfall. Her hand tightened

around his inadvertently. "This is amazing, Chakotay. Is this a real

place?"

"As real as you want to make it, Kathryn. But to answer your question,

yes, it's a real place. My paternal grandmother is Cherokee, and I spent a

lot of time in the Blue Ridge Mountains as a child. Few can appreciate the

loveliness of that region of North Carolina. Waterfalls are so common that

most residents don't even blink an eye at them."

She was so moved by his gesture that words failed her for a moment. He

took her hand and squeezed it gently. "I appreciate it, Chakotay. This,

and everything else you've done for me. I can't believe this program and

how you've managed to weave together places that mean so much to both of

us. Thank you."

"Well, you can thank Tom Paris." His humble words caused her to smile.

"But you were the visionary who came up with the idea. Now, where's that

food?" 

"Right this way." He led her to a flat rock by the side of the roaring

water. A basket lay nearby and he unfolded a blanket and started handing

her implements. Wonderful smells wafted from the basket.

"This doesn't smell like anything from Neelix's kitchen. Not a hint of

leola root."

Chakotay grinned. "Neelix can't take credit for this, Captain. I've been

saving many of these ingredients for a special occasion. I hope you like

it."

Much later, they lay entwined on the blanket. Janeway rubbed her stomach.

"God, I don't think I can move an inch. That was wonderful, but I'm going

to be useless for awhile."

"There's no hurry, Captain. We're both off duty tomorrow and I have the

holodeck for the night and half of tomorrow morning."

She started as she thought of something. "I hope you remembered to

activate the privacy lock this time."

He laughed and nuzzled her with his lips. "Yes, now stop fretting, will

you?"

She didn't hear him, for she was already sound asleep.

********

She woke much later and felt a warm, comforting presence next to her. Her

eyes opened and she found herself staring straight into Chakotay's

laughing face. "It's about time you woke up, you lazy woman."

Her mouth curved into a smile as she stretched her arms over her head.

"What time is it?"

He growled at her and butted his head against hers. "No schedules, no time

constraints, and no agendas. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," Janeway laughed. "Gee, I'm glad I didn't have to serve under

you."

"Are you sure?" He wrestled with her and flipped her on her back expertly.

His heavy body fit against her perfectly, and it was hard to keep her

thoughts straight. "Now, take it back."

She laughed and shook her head. 

"Take it back or else," Chakotay said jokingly.

"Or else what?" Janeway taunted. She tried standing up but he caught her

around the waist and hoisted her into his arms.

"Or else this." He strode over to the nearby pool and dunked her in. She

shrieked at the shock of the cool water against her body. Her clothes

started to weigh her down and she pretended to be angry as she stood up in

water to her knees.

"You just ruined a perfectly good cashmere sweater, Chakotay. I can't

replace this." She threw him a mock glare.

"We'll replicate you another one." He acted like a proud warrior standing

over an adversary he had just counted coup on and she decided to strike.

Her arms snaked out and pulled his legs out from under him. He fell

heavily into the water with a splash and came up sputtering.

"I can't replace these buckskins either." His grin was white and feral as

he pulled her to him. Their faces were only an inch apart and each enjoyed

the other's thorough perusal.

"I love the way you can lie through your teeth and smile at the same time.

If I recall correctly, didn't you come on Voyager with only the clothes on

your back?" 

He took her head in his hands and let her feel the full force of his

smile. "I can't get anything past you, can I?"

His warm solid body, coupled with his musky scent, distracted her to no

end. "You owe me a sweater, Chakotay."

He laughed, "I promise I'll knit you one, Kathryn."

"Is there anything you can't do, *Wise Son*?

He lowered his hands to her shoulders and murmured, "So, you were paying

attention after all."

Janeway tried but failed to suppress a shiver. Her blue eyes sparkled up

at him. "Don't these clothes feel just a little cold and wet to you,

Commander?" 

"Yes. Why don't we help each other out of them?"

"Good idea," she said huskily as his mouth lowered to hers. They sank to

the ground beneath them and renewed that age old dance once again.

**********

A few remaining drops of water trickled down a bare leg and he licked them

off of her. She gasped as his mouth slipped lower. "Don't you think it's

time we got back, Chakotay?"

He stopped his ministrations for a moment and sighed. "Yes, I suppose so.

I think we better replicate some clothing since what we arrived in is

ruined."

Janeway wrapped her arms around him and lay her head on his shoulder.

"This has been an extraordinary experience, Chakotay."

"Yes, it has. But it doesn't have to end, Kathryn. It's only the

beginning."

She raised her head and regarded him seriously. "We can't keep on like

this, Chakotay. It's only a matter of time before people figure it out. If

we're to have a relationship, I want it to be an open and honest one."

He nodded in agreement. "Why don't we meet later in the hydroponics bay

and talk about it? That should give us both time to think."

"That sounds like a plan." Janeway stopped for a moment and looked around

her in puzzlement.

"What is it, Kathryn?"

"I was wondering where my bathtub is. That is part of the program, isn't

it?"

He threw back his head and laughed. "Yes, it was originally intended to be

that way. But then I figured you could use the pool for the same purpose."

"Ah, is that what you figured, you evil man? I'll just bet that's what you

planned all along, isn't it?" She punched him lightly and they proceeded

to walk arm in arm to the rowboat.

************

Paris woke late that morning and spent most of the afternoon playing pool.

He was about to rack up the balls for one more game when Torres hailed

him.

"Torres to Paris."

"Go ahead."

"Harry and I are in the mess hall and wondered if you'd like to join us

for dinner. Tuvok is cooking some Vulcan dish." Amusement filled her voice

and Tom could hear Harry chuckling in the background.

"*Tuvok* is cooking? This I gotta see. I'll be right up."

Paris shut down the program and made it to the mess hall in record time,

nearly exceeding Warp 10 in the process.

Torres gave him a curious look. "Hey, slow down, Tom. We don't want you

turning into a lizard or losing your tongue."

Paris grimaced and sat down. "Thanks, Torres. I know I can always count on

you to brighten my day."

Harry piped up. "So, how does Chakotay like his new program?"

Tom caught B'Elanna's astonished glance and he looked over his shoulder.

*Well, I'll be damned, they're finally owning up to it.* The Captain and

Chakotay entered the mess hall with their arms around each other, wide

grins splitting their faces. Tuvok looked up from the galley and he nearly

dropped the pan in his hand in his amazement. Paris started laughing at

the reaction they were getting. He especially enjoyed the red flush

creeping down Harry's neck.

"I don't know, Harry, why don't you ask him yourself?" Tom teased, not

missing a chance to needle his best friend. Harry was such an easy mark

sometimes that it probably wasn't fair, but this was a golden opportunity.

Harry said, "I can't believe this."

Torres gave him a sharp look. "What can't you believe, Harry?"

"Well, they're supposed to set a good example for the rest of the

crew...." He stopped as his friends burst out laughing. "What?"

Torres smirked at him. "I don't know, Harry, I'd say they're setting a

fine example. What do you think, Tom? Would you like to follow their

example?" 

Tom's astonished face caused Torres to burst out laughing again. "You guys

are too much. What do you expect after four months alone on the planet,

Harry? I think we can safely say they're past the hand holding stage."

Chakotay and Janeway noticed the attention they were receiving, but they

merely nodded at the junior officers and adjourned to their usual table in

the corner.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm the last person to figure this out?" Harry

asked petulantly.

"Harry, Harry, don't feel bad. I'm the only one who knew about this," Tom

bragged.

"What are you talking about?" Torres said sharply. "I knew all along they

were involved. I got a good look at some of those files. You saw them too,

Harry. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out."

Harry groaned. "What a dunce. Of course, a bathtub and a boat? It was

right in front of me all the time."

Torres looked at Paris suspiciously as something occurred to her. "Wait a

minute, Paris. Is this the secret you've been hanging over our heads for

weeks?"

Paris laughed. "Yeah. What of it?"

She grabbed him roughly. "If you ever hold out on us again, you'll answer

to me personally. You got that?"

Paris couldn't help but notice how attractive Torres got when she got her

back up. "Ooh, B'Elanna, you give me shivers when you look at me like

that." She muttered something about a dumb p'tok and loosened her hold on

him. Torres continued to eye Paris with mock ferocity, but it was

difficult to maintain her expression. He pretended to leer at her and she

couldn't help but laugh. Harry looked between them, blinking in his

confusion. If there was a joke here, he had missed it. Paris noticed his

friend's problem and started chuckling. Poor Harry, innuendo was lost on

him. He was too damned straight for his own good, and too trusting to

boot. 

Tuvok arrived with their food on a platter. Paris smiled and said, "I must

say the service has improved around here. Are you planning to do this on a

regular basis, Tuvok?"

The expression on Tuvok's face was priceless. Before he could answer, they

all started laughing. The Vulcan performed his customary eyebrow raise and

set the food down on the table. He was about to ask them what the joke

was, but something told him he didn't want to know. Tuvok had a habit of

killing any joke when he tried to apply logic to it.

He merely said, "I hope you enjoy tonight's cuisine."

They watched as Tuvok proceeded to the Captain's table. Paris picked up

his fork and commented, "Boy, what I wouldn't give to read his personal

logs...."

Harry groaned and B'Elanna threw her napkin at Tom. "Don't even think

about it, Paris."

They laughed and dug into the food with gusto. In the meantime, Janeway

and Chakotay ate their food without tasting it. The weight of hiding their

relationship was gone, and each of them gazed out at the stars, wondering

at the infinite possibilities that lay on the road ahead.

******

Fin

*********

References:

1. The Hopi Indian legend is an excerpt from a much longer tale called

First Journey Through Grand Canyon.

Musical Sources:

1. Frantic Drift by the Chills, an early single from the compilation

Kaleidoscope World.

2. "How Sweet" and "Cut Throat" by Ultra Vivid Scene, from the CD Rev.

Conclusion