HOSPITAL ROCK

 

 

Christy gives me a hard time because I have a habit of planning out my hikes meticulously, sometimes weeks, or even months, in advance.  On a typical evening, I can often be found pouring through maps, guidebooks, and notes while Christy grades papers.  On other occasions, I decide on Saturday’s hike while I’m at a bar on Friday night.  These usually aren’t the best hikes.

 

Last weekend was a fine example of this.  Originally, Christy and I had planned to backpack to Shortoff Mountain in the Linville Gorge Wilderness.  The weather forecast looked iffy though, so we debated switching the trip to a more sheltered area.  Friday night at Moosehead (which features some of the best wings in Charlotte), we considered backpacking in the Pisgah area, and spending the night at a shelter.  Ultimately, we ended up deciding to skip the backpacking in favor of a dayhike.  Dave was with us, and expressed interest in going, as long as the hike was scenic, yet close to Charlotte.  That narrowed our options considerably. 

 

I picked Jones Gap State Park, in South Carolina, for our destination.  Oddly, Christy and Dave neglected to ask about the details of the proposed hike.  Regrettably, I forgot just how difficult the climb to Hospital Rock is.

 

We arrived at the park after a tedious, 2-hour drive on route 11.  I dropped Christy and Saucony off, and Dave and I shuttled my car over to the Falls Creek Falls Trailhead.  We returned a few minutes later, and paid the parking fee.  From there, we regrouped at the bathroom area, and filled out a permit at the self-service box.  The permit form was very thorough.  It requested names, addresses, car info, starting point, ending point, and the trails we planned to hike.  The only thing missing was space for an essay on why we wanted to hike there.  For laughs, we took note of a permit another party had completed.  Here’s a sample of the information provided:

 

Starting Point:  Jones Gap

Trails hiked:               Hospital Rock

Exit Point:                   Hospital

 

Talk about your bad omens!  I swear I’m not making this up.

 

That permit seemed prophetic as Christy, Dave, and I, plus the dogs, Saucony and Sasha, headed up the trail to Hospital Rock.  It would be an understatement to describe the trail as hazardous.  The trail was steep and boulder-strewn, and the footing was terrible.  However, we were surprised to see considerable fall color long after we would’ve expected the leaves to be on the ground.  Of course, many of them were, obscuring the trail and making the footing hazardous.  It had rained the previous night, and the wet conditions only added to the challenge.  Initially we followed a stream uphill, but soon we were scrambling up rock faces as we climbed the steep north side of the gorge.  After about 30 minutes, we reached a rock outcrop with a nice view of the Middle Fork of the Saluda River Valley.

 

Another long climb ensued.  A cable was in place as a safety line for one steep, eroded section.  Luckily, the trail was fairly easy to follow.  Occasional orange blazes marked the way.  Where blazes were missing, ribbons or strips of duct tape were wrapped around the trees.  I assume the duct tape was marking the trail.  Dave thought it might be holding the trees together.

 

Inexplicably, the trail descended steeply before arriving at Hospital Rock.  Hospital Rock forms a huge overhang that could almost qualify as a cave.  We enjoyed a long lunch in the shade of Hospital Rock before resuming our hike that afternoon.

 

We now pause for these brief messages….

 

Have you ever wished you could have every great rock anthem related to medical care on one CD?  Well, now you can!  Announcing the new compilation, “Hospital Rock”, brought to you by Columbia Hose.  It’s got everything you could want, and more!  From the heavy metal of Motley Crue’s “Dr. Feelgood”, to the funky jams of “Down With Disease”, by Phish, and the soulful grooves of “Doctor, Doctor”; “Hospital Rock” is sure to give you a royal case of the Rockin’ Pneumonia and The Boogie Woogie Flu!  Order today, for only $19.95 (plus $32.50 shipping and handling), and receive a free DVD featuring highlights of various entertainers injuring themselves in creative ways!  The DVD includes Michael Jackson setting his hair on fire, plus that dork from New Kids on the Block falling through the stage.  Order now, and we’ll through in a bonus DVD, “Girls Gone Stupid”, featuring 2 hours of footage of Courtney Love!  Operators are standing by.

 

“Hey man, is that ‘Hospital Rock’?  Well, turn it down, there are sick people in here.”

 

Oh, sorry about that….

 

 

We now return to the trip report already in progress…..

 

Christy led the way as we descended steeply from Hospital Rock.  We passed 24-hour urgent care boulder, and descended steeply along the face of physical therapy cliff.  Why were we going down?  We had hiked here 2 years earlier, and I distinctly remembered in illogical section of trail that descended steeply.  This seemed like too much though.  Eventually we crossed several small streams, and found ourselves on an old jeep road.  We reached a junction with another jeep road, as the route we were following plunged steeply downhill yet again.  We hadn’t seen orange blazes, ribbons, or duct tape in quite awhile.  This couldn’t be right.

 

We decided to scout.  Dave continued downhill, while I followed the other jeep road steeply up.  I followed it until it disappeared, but never crossed the trail.  Dave didn’t have any luck, either.  He followed the roadbed until it reached a field before he returned.  Clearly we had missed a turn.  We decided to double-back until we rejoined the trail.

 

We knew we had erred badly when we arrived back at Hospital Rock.  Where had we gone wrong?  We wandered around our lunch spot, noting that the trail we had followed was the obvious, albeit wrong, one.  Finally, Dave walked over to a boulder just uphill from the cave.  He kicked some leaves off, and there was an orange blaze.  From the cave, the trail continues steeply uphill over more boulders.  Because of the rocks, there is no discernable tread, and the only blaze was hidden.  Where was the duct tape when you need it?

 

It was already 2:30, and we had only covered about 1 ½ miles of our 6 mile hike.  We had maybe 3 hours of daylight left.  At the pace we had been maintaining, given the difficulty of the trail, we would be pushing our luck trying to finish the hike before dark.  The trails in the area are very rugged, and trying to hike them in the dark really would result in an exit at the hospital.  Reluctantly, we decided to head back the way we came.

 

We returned to the park and civilization.  We hadn’t seen anyone since we started the hike.  I would like to return to the area and finally complete the hike.  Unfortunately, I’ll need to find some new partners, as Christy and Dave aren’t likely to go anywhere near those trails again.  Maybe I can get Kevin to join me, the next time we’re at a bar on a Friday night.

 

 




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