Part twenty of "Little blue world" - an AU series
by Jinny W
August 2001
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all. I'm just playing.
Summary: A shocking incident threatens to turn Kathryn's world upside down.
~~~
"Chakotay", Harran poked his head around the corner of the small recess Chakotay had retreated to. "The shuttle from the Starfleet ship has arrived to pick up the others."
Chakotay quickly dropped the padd he'd been reading. "Where is she?" he said, standing and brushing down his shirt.
Harran looked puzzled, then shook his head. "Kathryn didn't come. Harry Kim was flying the shuttle."
"Harry? Why?"
"I don't know. Ayala spotted him walking towards the camp. He'll be here soon."
"Alright. I'll be right there."
Chakotay sighed in frustration and rubbed his whiskered chin. There must be some logical reason why Kathryn hadn't returned. He was irritated at his reaction, at his immediate suspicion. Perhaps she never intended to return? a quiet voice in the back of his mind suggested. Perhaps she thought it would be easier this way. He pushed aside the niggling thoughts and made his way out to join the others.
Although he should have expected it, when Harry Kim walked through the cave entrance Chakotay was startled to see him once again clad in a Starfleet uniform. The surprise must have shown on his face because Harry looked down at his chest with a rueful smile.
"It seemed odd to me too, when I looked in the mirror this morning", he said.
Chakotay nodded and strode over to shake his hand. "Where's Kathryn?" he wanted to blurt out. "Welcome back Harry", he said instead.
Harry smiled at him tiredly. "She wanted to come", he said quietly, so that only Chakotay could hear him, "but they wouldn't let her. They have her practically locked up in her quarters, writing enough reports to fill a library."
Chakotay felt a swell of relief flow through him, then instantly chastised himself for his earlier doubts.
"She made you this", he went on, pressing a small data chip into Chakotay's hand.
He looked around them at the sixteen men and women who were assembled, their few belongings in scruffy bags beside them.
"The shuttle is parked about half an hour's hike from here," Harry said to the group. The young man made a face then and Chakotay suspected he had bad news of some kind. "I'm afraid that those of you who were going to make your own plans for transport off this rock after you were granted amnesty will have to come with us. It's all or nothing according to the brass." There were a few mumbles at that. Harry held up his hand and raised his voice.
"Hear me out", he said, "this isn't as bad as it sounds."
He glanced around again then took a deep breath before making his announcement. "Starfleet has agreed to the trade. Your arrest warrants will be repealed in exchange for our technical information on the transwarp drive." A few crewmembers smiled, others still looked troubled. "But there is a small catch. They want to do a short interview with each person first, then you'll be released. You're free to travel with the Tanazaki, which is heading to the Terran system, or you can make your own way from there."
Chakotay looked concerned. "What sort of interview are you talking about?" he said.
"As far as I know it's the equivalent of an exit interview when you leave a job." A few people grumbled at that but Harry continued more loudly. "I know it sounds suspicious but I've been assured that they won't be asking you any questions about Maquis ships, bases or personnel, either from this cell or from others."
"Then what do they want to know?" one man called out belligerently.
"They want to see face to face who they're giving amnesty to, so they can have a clear record of the deal. The Admiral's explanation was that they want to make sure you are all who you say you are."
Chakotay still appeared suspicious, but eyed Harry respectfully. The young man's bearing suggested he was conveying a message he didn't agree with, but his voice remained firm, his tone confident. He was far from the nervous young ensign who he'd met nine weeks ago.
"Alright people", he said to the group. "We should have expected they'd want something like this. They are obsessed with bureaucracy, after all."
Some faces smiled at that, others still looked sullen. "If they ask you any questions you aren't comfortable answering, then stay quiet," he continued. "If they push you, demand to speak to Captain Janeway or Harry, and they'll vouch for what you've been told about your rights."
Harry nodded gratefully.
"How do we know this isn't a trick to capture us?" the same crewman asked.
Chakotay opened his mouth to respond but Harry got there first. "It's simple. If you think that", he said, "then don't come along. Captain Janeway has put her reputation on the line by advocating this deal. She has assured me no harm will come to you and I believe her. I can't say any more to you than that. You'll come back to the ship for the interview, then you're free to leave." He glanced at Chakotay, then added. "We'll go as soon as you're all assembled. I'll be waiting for you outside."
There was silence as Harry left the cave. After a few moments Chakotay spoke.
"Alright people, this is it. You've had your chance to make your decision, to say your good-byes and pack your things. Now it's time to move." His voice softened as he looked around at their familiar faces. "I wish you all well", he added, clutching the data chip tightly in his clenched fist, "in whatever the future brings you."
~~~
"This is a fine ship. Thanks for the tour", Kathryn said, as she stepped onto the Tanazaki's bridge. Lieutenant Kumuda bobbed her head in agreement.
"You're weclome, Captain", she said solemnly.
Lamond turned slightly in his chair at their arrival. "Ah, Captain Janeway, welcome."
Kathryn noted that Lamond had not yet called her by her first name, despite telling him yesterday he was welcome to. She wondered if the cool reception he seemed to be giving her was his usual behaviour, or if he disliked her personally for some reason. Still, if he wanted to be formal, she could do the same.
"Captain", she said, "Lieutenant Kumuda has just been showing me your ship. Very impressive."
Lamond gave her a tight smile. "I'm glad you approve. Mr. Kim's shuttle left the planet a few minutes ago. We should be receiving our guests soon."
He spun back to face the viewscreen. Again Kathryn noted the characteristic tightening around his mouth as he uttered the word 'guests'. Perhaps that was it, she thought, perhaps Lamond was merely uncomfortable being the chosen courier for this task.
"The shuttle is approaching, Captain", Ensign Nguyen reported from the Ops console.
"Good", Lamond said. He turned again to face Kathryn, who remained behind his field of vision. "Captain Janeway, why don't you go and -"
"Captain!" Nguyen exclaimed. "I'm reading a Cardassian warship. Galor class. It just appeared on our sensors. Eight hundred kilometers and closing."
Kumuda hurried from Kathryn's side to take her post at the tactical console.
"Red alert. Raise shields", Lamond snapped. "Where did it come from?"
Nguyen shook his head in dismay. "It wasn't on the sensors sir. From their trajectory it looks as though they were concealed above the planet's magnetic pole."
"On screen".
The Cardassian cruiser loomed menacingly on the viewscreen. Kathryn felt her chest tighten as she stepped down to the command level.
"There weren't any reports of Cardassian activity in this sector", Kumuda noted.
"There is now", Kathryn said dryly.
Lamond ignored her. "Hail them", he ordered.
"They're charging weapons", Kumuda reported.
"Shields to full strength. Weapons ready. Hail them again, Ensign", Lamond snapped.
Almost as if in slow motion they could see the Cardassian torpedoes as they thrust out from the ship. Kathryn's mouth fell open as she realised what their target was.
"They're not firing at us!" Kumuda exclaimed, as the shuttle exploded in a sickening ball of orange and gold flames.
Kathryn felt a wave of nausea sweep over her. "Harry", she whispered, clutching at a nearby railing for support.
"What the hell happened!" Lamond demanded.
"Scanning". Ensign Nguyen's fingers flew over his console. "There's only fragments of debris, Sir. The shuttle has been completely destroyed. Evidence of four torpedoes. They had no chance." He shook his head. "No life signs. There were no survivors."
Lamond pushed himself out of his chair, his face impassive. "There were seventeen men and women on that shuttle", he said quietly. "Hail them again."
"I have a signal. Putting it on screen now."
The face of a Cardassian appeared on the screen. He nodded at Lamond with a queer smile.
"Captain", he said unctuously, "let me introduce myself. I am Gul Trefek of the Cardassian -"
"You have destroyed a Federation shuttlecraft", Lamond thundered. "Explain yourself!"
The Gul merely smiled. "We had information that the shuttle contained dangerous Maquis operatives."
"That's right", Lamond said more quietly. "They were being transported to our ship."
"Our source informed us that these terrorists intended to take over your vessel."
"Ridiculous", Lamond snorted. "The situation was under our control."
Trefek shook his head and held his hands out in a helpless gesture. "Captain, we were merely trying to protect you. If we were in error, it was only caused by our zeal to improve Cardassian-Federation relations."
"You murdered seventeen innocent people", Kathryn growled, stepping into the command area.
"Innocent?" the Gul laughed shortly. "I hardly think so. Our source informed us the passengers were all known terrorists. You should be thanking me." He glanced at her uniform. "Captain... ?"
"Janeway", she said tightly.
Lamond motioned for her to be quiet. "We will be taking this matter up with our government, Gul Trefek. You will hear from us again."
Trefek bobbed his head. "As you wish", he said.
Lamond sank back into his chair as the transmission disconnected. "Set a course for sector zero zero one", he instructed the helm, "warp five".
Kathryn stared at him in astonishment. "What are you doing?"
He looked at her mildly. "Following instructions", he said. "Starfleet ordered me to return to Earth immediately after our business here was finished."
"Our business?" her voice was dangerously low. "Our business? They just murdered seventeen people. Including one of my crew."
Lamond blinked at her, unmoved by her anger. "I am sorry for the loss of Ensign Kim, Captain. I will report this matter to Starfleet command, as I told Gul Trefek. They will decide what is to be done."
"But -" she objected.
"Our scans showed no debris, no survivors", Lamond continued, "and as it seems perfectly clear what the cause of the explosion was, I see no reason for us to remain in this system."
"Perfectly clear?" Kathryn said, her voice tightly whipping out the words. "You think it's perfectly clear that their cruiser appeared out of nowhere and destroyed the shuttle? How the hell did they even know about the transfer?"
Lamond eyed her calmly. He folded his hands and templed his fingers as he spoke. "It seems clear to me that the Cardassians were told by an informant among the Maquis. The 'source' that Trefek mentioned. Probably someone who was furious they were defecting. Or afraid of what secrets they might bring with them."
Kathryn's eyes narrowed. "Your logic is flawed, Captain", she said, forcing herself to remain composed. "The informant may equally have come from this crew."
Lamond laughed shortly, but there was no humour in it. "I hardly think so", he said. "When Starfleet conducts their investigation I'm sure they will look into the matter thoroughly enough, even for your liking. Until then, I see no reason to discuss the matter further."
Kathryn glared at him, unable to believe he would just let this rest.
"We should at least inform the remaining Maquis on the planet about what happened", she said.
Lamond stared at her, his expression shrewd and disapproving. "I don't think so, Captain", he said brusquely. "They are no longer your concern." His eyes narrowed in distaste. "Need I remind you that I am in command of this vessel? Or perhaps you have grown used to the environs of subordination and disrespect?"
Kathryn gritted her teeth. "With respect, Captain", she said slowly, "I should inform you that I will lodge an official complaint over your unwillingness to stay and investigate this matter further."
Lamond shrugged. "If you wish," he said. "But may I suggest you go elsewhere to write it."
With all the poise she could muster Kathryn strode into the turbolift, her command mask firmly in place. Once inside, she felt her composure start to crumble. Hot tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. She swallowed hard and directed the turbolift to deck five. The others needed to be told what had happened and she would much rather they heard from her than from Lamond.
~~~
"Hello Chakotay."
The image of Kathryn smiled at him, shifting nervously in her chair. From the background behind her Chakotay guessed she had recorded the message in her guest quarters. She was still clad in civilian clothes but they were obviously recently cleaned and her shiny hair hung in waves over her shoulders.
"I hate good-byes", the message continued, "but I couldn't leave without at least an attempt at saying some of the things that I feel my words are so inadequate to convey. I thought I was going to see you again and have the chance to say my last good-byes then."
Kathryn shrugged. "The truth is I wouldn't have known what to say then, either. But there are a few things that I want you to know."
She shifted in her chair again and smiled. "Firstly, I'm glad I had this chance to know you. I'll never forget my Liberty days. You gave me the chance to test myself in a difficult situation. I think I've even learnt a trick or two."
She grinned again. "You said once that you'd thought about what might have happened if we'd ended up on my ship instead of yours." Her eyes took on a mischievous look. "Just think! Holodecks. Replicators. The fun could have been endless."
Chakotay smiled at her image. Kathryn grew more serious then, her eyes flickering as she spoke. "I didn't tell you but I'd thought about that too. Tried to imagine if you and your crew would have signed on to Voyager, been prepared to do things the Starfleet way. Would you have been my first officer? I'm pretty sure you would have been a damned good one. Would Voyager have found the wormhole? Or would we have spent our lives in the Delta Quadrant?" She sighed. "Would we have had the same problems with Jonas and Seska? I don't know. Things would have been different. Our homecoming probably would have been different too. Less skulking around like this."
At that she smiled again and pulled a goofy face. "We could even have convinced Starfleet we'd reformed you!" She chuckled and Chakotay found himself laughing quietly with her. "Anyway, that's all beside the point."
Kathryn sobered and leant closer to the screen. "I'm going back to work now", she said sadly. "I wish that we..." she broke off, her voice hoarse, then shook her head as though banishing an unpleasant thought. "I don't know when I'll see you again. After the debriefing I'll be sent off on another mission. If I survive the debriefing, that is", she joked.
She brushed back a stray lock of hair, her blue eyes revealing an uncharacteristic nervousness. "I thought about taking some time off, coming to find you, but I'm not sure that's what you want." She paused then added, "What either of us wants. Whatever happens, I just wanted you to know that I'm going to miss you."
A single tear appeared at the corner of her right eye and began its slow descent down her cheek. Kathryn brushed it away with an annoyed flick of her wrist, then smiled depreciatingly at the screen.
"When she gets back, you tell that crazy Klingon engineer of yours to take care of you for me." She gazed at the screen, her eyes intense. "And know that everytime I'm stuck in a cramped, over crowded, under powered, thirty year old ship far from home, I'll be reminded of you, Chakotay." She reached her fingers out to the screen as if trying to touch him. "I'll never forget you."
Without conscious thought Chakotay had stretched his own fingers out to the screen to meet hers. He started slightly as her recording ended. He sat silently for a while, digesting the emotions her message had stirred within him. It was the most curious thing, the effect she could create by the careful way she pronounced his name. After sitting in silence for several minutes more, he removed the data chip from the terminal and slipped it into his pocket.
"Goodbye Kathryn", he whispered.
~~~
Kathryn stopped pacing and leaned one shoulder against the window sill. The comfortable quarters she would once have taken for granted as normal now felt like a prison cell. It had been two days since the destruction of the shuttle and the Tanazaki continued on its course for Earth. Despite her anticipation about seeing her family again Kathryn couldn't shake the feeling that her universe had turned upside down.
"There's something about this that doesn't feel right."
"It is my understanding that the death of close friends never 'feels right', Captain", Tuvok said mildly.
"No, no, that's not what I mean". She turned to face him, crossing her arms and leaning back against the wall. "I mean something peculiar is going on."
Tuvok raised an eyebrow. "I am not sure what you mean. On what basis do you make this conclusion?"
"It's not a conclusion, Tuvok, it's just an instinct." She pointed a finger at him. "And you should know better than to say that instincts are illogical."
"I was not going to", Tuvok said. "Although there is probably a logical reason for your discomfort. In many cases what humans call instinct is the result of the unconscious mind connecting seemingly disparate fragments of information."
Kathryn smiled weakly at him. "If you say so."
"Which fragments of information do you find troubling?"
"Well", she said, "it's hard to put my finger on it. There was one thing that Nechayev said that was odd. When she told us that Starfleet command had approved the amnesty deal Lamond began to say something about them trying another method, but she cut him off. Presumably he was going to suggest another way of getting the information. Nechayev said she understood his objections."
Tuvok looked unimpressed. "Many Starfleet officers would find the idea of bargaining with the Maquis unsavoury."
She shook her head. "That's the thing. It wasn't just what she said, it was the way she said it. As though he personally would object and she understood why."
"Not hearing the conversation myself I cannot draw such a conclusion", Tuvok said. "Was there more?"
"This is just as vague", she said, moving to sit back on the couch again. "But I noticed that Lamond seemed quite restrained every time he was speaking to me. As though there was something else going on under the surface. Something hidden." She slapped her hand on her thigh in frustration. "I'm explaining this badly, sorry. Again, this is just something I sensed from him."
Tuvok appeared more intrigued now. "Do you mean he appeared to be wearing a mask of some sort?"
"Yes", she said, "That's it exactly. He was very polite, very non-judgmental, but I could tell there was something he wasn't saying."
Tuvok considered this for a moment. "Perhaps this apparent unease is a result of the personal problems you mentioned."
Kathryn glanced at him, startled.
"You did say he was taking time off for personal leave when Voyager departed," he went on.
"Wait a minute", she said, feeling increasingly excited, as though they were close to the answer. "That's it. His discomfort was personal. But it wasn't to do with that time off. That was for his gambling problem. There's no reason he would need to hide that around me. There was some other reason I made him uncomfortable. But what?"
She began to chew her lip in irritation, then snapped her fingers. "His son", she said. "He told me his son died recently. About six weeks ago, I think he said."
Tuvok frowned. "I'm not sure I understand the connection."
"Me neither", she said, "but I have a feeling there is one. Computer," she said, turning the terminal to face her, "I need all the information you can give me on the shuttle accident involving Captain Lamond's son."
"Processing". There was a brief pause. "According to Starfleet records Ensign Darren Lamond was not killed in a shuttle accident. His death occurred when his shuttle exploded near McKinley station on Stardate four eight three two six point five."
Kathryn and Tuvok shared a glance. "A few weeks after we were pulled into the Delta Quadrant", she said. "What was the cause of the explosion?" she asked.
"The shuttle was fired upon by a Maquis raider during an attempted incursion onto the station."
Kathryn sat bolt upright in her chair.
"One other person, Crewman Michelle Trent was also killed and several station personnel were injured", the computer continued. "The Maquis ship escaped with only minimal damage. A warrant is still outstanding for the arrest of the crew on charges including murder, damage to Starfleet property, theft of Starfleet property -"
"Stop playback", Kathryn ordered. She stared at Tuvok, her eyes blazing. "Sound like someone might have a personal grudge?" she said.
Tuvok nodded slowly. "Indeed", he said. "Knowing you have spent the last two months with the Maquis and were acting as their advocate in the exchange, it is possible he suspects your loyalties have wavered."
"He must hate them", she said, staring at the blank screen. She scratched her nose thoughtfully. "Huh. That explains something he said on the bridge. He said he was sorry for the loss of Ensign Kim. Nothing about the others. No wonder he wasn't sorry."
"There is no obvious connection between the Captain's personal feelings and the appearance of the Cardassian cruiser", Tuvok pointed out. "Such a connection would only be supposition."
"You mean like assuming I've changed sides because of my own personal feelings towards the Maquis?" she shot back. When Tuvok didn't reply she shook her head. "Tuvok, I'm not saying he's the one who told the Cardassians about the shuttle transfer. But somebody did. And I can't believe it was any of the Maquis at the camp or those who were onboard the shuttle. What would they have to gain?"
She gnawed at her fingernail in frustration. "There has to be some connection. What are we missing?"
A chime at the door interrupted her train of thought. "If that's Lamond", she said quickly to Tuvok, "I don't want any of this conversation revealed."
"Understood", he said.
"Come in", she called out.
The door slid open to reveal Kes. She stepped into the room hesitatingly. "Am I interrupting something?" she asked.
"No, of course not Kes, come in", Kathryn said, walking over to her. With one glance she took in the dark circles under Kes' eyes and her noticeably rumpled appearance. "How are you feeling?"
Tuvok raised an eyebrow at her choice of conversation but Kes merely shrugged.
"Moderately awful", she said in her strong but quiet voice. She glanced over at Tuvok. "I'm glad you're here, Tuvok", she said. "I have something to tell you both."
Kathryn reached out and rested a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "Come and sit down", she said.
When they were all settled Kes spoke again. "This may sound crazy, but I want you to believe me, I'm not making it up."
"Making what up?" Kathryn said gently.
"I had a vision", Kes went on falteringly. "At least, that's what I think it was."
"Your mental powers have been growing rapidly", Tuvok said. "What did you see?"
"It was a few days ago, just before Harry... before the shuttle was destroyed. I didn't say anything right away because I thought I was imagining it. But this morning I saw the same images again when I passed Captain Lamond in the hallway. Then I knew I wasn't imagining it at all. It felt too real. I was seeing the afterimage of something that had already happened."
She drew a deep breath before continuing. "It was a conversation. I could see two faces and hear two voices. One looked odd, slightly hazy, and one voice was distorted although it seemed familiar. I didn't realise until the second time that somehow, I was seeing a transmission."
"A transmission?" Kathryn leaned closer towards her. "Of who?"
Kes looked from one to the other, her eyes wide. "Of Captain Lamond", she said seriously, "and he was talking -"
She faltered again. Kathryn squeezed her hand gently. Kes blinked back tears and continued. "He was talking to Seska."
~~~
end of part twenty
~ read part twenty one ~
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