Part thirteen of "Little blue world" - an AU series
by Jinny W
July 2001
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all. I'm just playing.
Summary: Events take an unexpected turn for Kathryn on their return journey to meet with the Liberty.
Author's note: Bodie darling, this is what you get when you joke about these things with me. This one's for Vanessa, Eva, Cimi, and all the other kind souls who've been encouraging me to get this damn thing done. Much appreciated.
~~~
"What's this game called again?"
"Minya".
"Oh." Tom scowled and pushed one of his tokens anti-clockwise on the table. "When we get back to the Liberty, remind me to say no if you ask me to play Minya again."
"Now, now", said Neelix, smoothly collecting Tom's token and replacing it with two of his own. "I'm sure you'd love this game if you were winning."
Tom sighed. "What I wouldn't give for a pool table right now."
"That's what you say everytime that you're losing at a game," Neelix pointed out. "It's becoming less and less believable, you know, as you show off your -" he pointed to Tom's small pile of tokens - "less than spectacular grasp of strategy. It's your turn, Chakotay."
Neelix nudged the dark-haired man, who was leaning on his elbows, apparently staring intently at the game before him.
"What?" he said, starting suddenly.
"I said it's your turn." Neelix shot an inquisitive look towards Tom, who merely shook his head.
"Uh huh". Chakotay straightened in his chair and reached down to slide one of his tokens to the right. When it collided with one of Tom's, he picked up the younger man's piece and placed it on the considerable pile in front of him.
Tom snorted. "Look at that!" he said indignantly. "Chakotay isn't even paying attention and he's beating me."
"Perhaps you should start daydreaming too", Neelix suggested. Tom glared at him.
"Sorry", Chakotay said gruffly, rubbing one palm over his face. "I guess I'm still exhausted."
"Mmm," Tom said, eyeing him carefully. "Well, give us another day to reach the new co-ordinates B'Elanna sent us, and you'll have your old relaxing job back".
Neelix's face darkened at the mention of the half-human woman's communiqué. Four days earlier, as they sped away from their confrontation with the Nistrum ship, they had received a recorded transmission from the Liberty. A harried looking B'Elanna had explained that they were tracking Michael Jonas, who had stolen Neelix's ship and kidnapped Samantha Wildman.
"Before we found out he had Sam we were almost tempted to just let him go", B'Elanna's recording had said. "There's more bad news. Using our long range sensors we've detected that the wormhole isn't there anymore. Either it's collapsed or it was never permanently anchored at one end, or at both ends, which means both myself and Jonas will have to hunt for its new location. If that's true, I'll have the advantage." She smiled ruefully despite her tiredness. "Thank Kahless Harry and I spent all that time extending our long range sensors. But if it has collapsed", she grew grim then, "Jonas isn't going to be too happy when he finds out. I don't know what he'll do to Sam then. I hope you've found Chakotay. If not, good luck. If you have," she smiled again, "see you soon, old friend."
"Why would he take Sam?" Neelix asked angrily, snapping one of his smaller tokens absent mindedly on top of one of Chakotay's larger ones. "She never hurt him. She's one of the kindest people I know."
"Maybe it was opportunism", Tom suggested. "She may have been the first crewmember he came across. Or maybe he realised how many people like her, and thought that would make her a good hostage."
"He will kill her", Chakotay said suddenly, surprising them both, as he hadn't appeared to be listening. He flipped over the token Neelix had crowned, then used it to sweep three more of Tom's tokens off the table. "If he thinks B'Elanna is getting too close he'll do it. He may be a weasely bastard, but he can be ruthless when he needs to be."
They were still ruminating quietly on this unpleasant thought a few minutes later when Rexal entered the room. She strode up to their table and swept her gaze over the distribution of tokens.
"Ah - Minya", she said with a smile. She smirked at Tom. "It doesn't appear to be your game, Mr. Paris."
"You noticed?" he said wryly.
"Never mind. Beginners often find it difficult."
"So what about him?" he asked, gesturing at Chakotay.
Chakotay managed a small smile at the tall Talaxian woman as she leaned over to appraise his winnings. "Perhaps you are just a very lucky man", she said, holding his gaze.
He flushed slightly at her double meaning, then looked down at the table.
"Ah", she said dryly, "or perhaps not so lucky." She straightened then smiled apologetically at Neelix. "May I speak with you for a moment?"
"Of course." Neelix pushed back his chair and stood. "You can go on without me", he told the others.
"Are you kidding?" Tom snorted. "And leave him just one opponent to fleece? No thanks." He too stood, pushing his remaining few tokens into the middle of the table. "I surrender", he said to Chakotay. "I'm going to go and see what Kathryn's doing."
As Neelix moved away from the table to talk with Rexal, he couldn't help noticing the odd look that Chakotay threw at the younger man's back. Was it dislike? Or resentment? Why would Chakotay be feeling acrimonious towards Tom now? He knew the two had never really been friends, but over the past seven weeks they had learned to live with one another. Perhaps the boredom of the past few days was getting to him. Tom's peculiar sense of humour, Neelix admitted to himself, could becoming trying after a while.
"Your friends are not so - what is the word-", Rexal frowned at him, "- content at the moment", she finished in a soft voice.
"No", Neelix concurred. "Perhaps Chakotay suffered more during his capture than we thought".
"Perhaps", Rexal said, but her tone hinted that she did not agree. "Actually it is these people I wished to talked to you about, in a way."
"Oh?"
"Are you really planning on travelling all the way to their home world with them?" she asked bluntly.
Neelix blinked at her in surprise. "Well", he said, "to be honest I hadn't really given it that much thought."
She raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you? I thought perhaps you might have considered it before joining them."
Neelix shrugged. "I know, it sounds strange, but I just thought it might be a good thing to do, to go with these people a ways. When I met them, it seemed better than what I was doing. I thought they could use me as a guide." He lowered his voice, shooting a careful glance at Chakotay, who slumped obliviously in his chair, apparently lost in his thoughts. "I didn't really think that they would be getting back to their home anytime soon. I mean", he shrugged again, "their home system is a long way away."
"The closer you get to their home", Rexal said softly, "the further you get from yours."
"I haven't been to Talax for a long time."
"I didn't mean the place", she said, "I meant your people." She eyed him speculatively, her meaning obvious. When he didn't respond, she added. "I thought, perhaps you should know, just in case you are thinking about making that decision..."
"Yes?" Neelix said.
Rexal raised her chin slightly. "There would be a place for you here on my ship, should you wish to stay."
Neelix stared at her for a moment, then smiled and bobbed his head. "That's very kind of you."
"No", she said, reaching down to squeeze his hand. "It's very selfish of me." She let the pressure of her fingers linger against his, then dropped his hand. "Think about it", she said, then turned to leave.
"I will", he said quickly.
Chakotay didn't even look up as the Talaxian woman swept past his chair. Neelix didn't move, but stood watching him, as he continued to stare at the table. Jealously, he thought suddenly, as he gazed at the man's face. The expression had been jealousy.
~~~
B'Elanna sank down into the chair next to Harry and let out a slow sigh. Harry watched her cradling her hands around her coffee with a smile.
"You're turning into the Captain right before my eyes, you know", he said, "Into Janeway, I mean," he amended quickly. "First chronic overworking, now coffee. What next?"
"Breaking noses?" B'Elanna suggested.
Harry chuckled. "Point taken." He took a sip of his own cool drink. "So how is it going down there?"
"Slowly. Very slowly."
"Did the adjustments I made to the file parameters have any effect?"
"I think so, but the difference is minor." She put down her coffee and stretched her arms above her head. "Running these computer simulations would be so much easier if we had a holodeck to do it on."
"But where's the challenge in that?" he said. B'Elanna shot him a dirty look. "It would probably be easier if we didn't have to worry about Jonas at the same time", he added.
"True." She picked up her drink again and took a slow sip. "I've got Tuvok working on it. He put together a team of tacticians and they're trying to come up with alternative rescue plans."
"How's it going?"
B'Elanna managed a weak smile. "Oh, for the full effect of the report you'd need to hear it straight from Tuvok's lips."
"Don't tell me," Harry said, "the others' plans are lacking in logic?"
"They're all a little too risky for his liking", she agreed. "Speaking of risky, I have to say, I'm seriously beginning to think that we won't ever get this transwarp drive running on the Liberty."
Harry frowned at her. "But the containment field - "
"Your work is great, Harry," she said. "Together we've managed to iron out almost all of the problems I can see. Except for one."
"What's that?"
B'Elanna made a face. "The most obvious one. This rust bucket."
Harry groaned. "You don't think it's structurally sound enough, even with the shield modifications. I've been trying not to think about that."
"I wish it was strong enough, Harry, really I do. If we had one of the latest class Starships with us right now, if we were on your old ship - " she broke off, shaking her head "- I'd be bouncing off the walls with excitement. I think we could really do it then. But let's face it, this ship barely holds up under warp eight, and that's our top speed."
Harry managed a brief smile at that. "I'd like to see you bouncing off the walls."
She rolled her eyes. "You'd need better coffee than this", she said. "It's just so frustrating. The theory is sound, and our practical modifications would be sound too, if only we had a newer ship to play with." She sighed, and drained the last of her coffee in one gulp. "I was hoping to have some better news than that to give Chakotay when he came back." She rested the cup down on the table with a clunk. "Sorry Chakotay", she recited, "we have these great ideas for a faster than warp drive which we can't use because our ship is too fragile. We found a wormhole, which we've now lost the location of. Oh, and we also misplaced Neelix's ship, plus two of our crewmembers. Brilliant work."
Harry eyed her carefully. "This isn't your fault", he said, "you've done a good job in charge here."
"Not good enough", she muttered. She blew out a breath in frustration. "The really annoying thing, although it sounds weird, is that Chakotay would know exactly what to say to make it feel just a little better, if he was here."
"He'll be here soon".
"I know", she said, "I just miss him."
"I guess you've known him for a long time, then?"
"Years. He recruited me." She smiled tightly at the thought. "I've never trusted anybody the way I trusted him."
They were both silent then, staring at their drained glasses. "What about Tom", Harry said suddenly, with a quick grin, "don't you miss Tom?"
B'Elanna snorted. "Not really", she said. "Alright, a little bit. Why?" She peered at him curiously. "You don't think that Tom and I...?" She made a pained face. "You do! What on earth gave you that idea?"
Harry shrugged. "I just thought the two of you were hitting it off, that's all."
"We are", she said, "but just as friends. Believe me", she added, "Tom is *not* my type."
"What is your type?"
"Never mind", she said shortly. "Just because we're stuck out here right now it doesn't mean I'm going to get desperate and seize this one and only chance to turn into the housewife of the year."
Harry chuckled at that. "No, you don't strike me as the domestic sort".
"What about you then?" she said. "Do you have your eye on anybody?" A dark blush began creeping over Harry's cheeks. "Ooh, you do", she said. "Tell me who."
"Never mind", Harry said.
B'Elanna seemed to relax then, and let out a long laugh. "Alright, Starfleet. Don't tell me. But I'll work it out of you eventually." She glanced at the mess hall around them, as if expecting to spot the target of Harry's affections somewhere nearby. "After all," she said expansively, "if this drive doesn't work, and we can't find the worm hole, I'm going to have ages to wear you down."
For some reason the thought seemed to cheer her up remarkably well.
~~~
"Knock knock", Tom said, stepping inside the doorway without waiting for a response, and peering around the corner of Kathryn's quarters. She was sitting cross legged at the far end of her bed, her legs drawn closely towards her and a padd resting on her knee.
"Don't you ever ask whether you can come in first?" she said. She narrowed her eyes at him in a pale echo of her old authoritative glare, but her tone was friendly.
"Sometimes". He grinned, then stepped inside. "Work?"
She shrugged. "I'm just making a few notes for reports".
"You've been busy for days. You *are* still the Captain." He flopped onto the bed, back first, his head landing next to her right foot. He bent his knees so that his lanky legs could fit without dangling over the end of the mattress.
Kathryn peered at him over her padd. "What are you doing, Tom?"
"Visiting my old cell mate. And running away", he said.
"Uh huh. What from?"
"What are you writing about?" he asked, ignoring her question.
"Those specs we found on the Ogla database", she said, making a few quick corrections on the padd. "We used the notes on their shield configuration when you and I beamed on board the Nistrum ship, but we didn't test our advantage with the weapons systems. We might want to in the future, so I was just reading over them, making some notes of my own."
"Fascinating", he said, putting on his best Tuvok voice. Kathryn giggled despite her bad mood.
"Or not", she said, lowering the padd slightly to look down at him. Strands of his crumpled blonde hair, now worn longer than it had been when he first joined her crew, were tickling the sole of her bare foot. "Sometimes there's only so many engineering drawings you can look at in one sitting," she said, resisting the odd urge to push the stray lock of hair away.
"I have that problem all the time", Tom said, smiling up at her.
"Do you?"
"No."
"I didn't think so."
"Here's something you can add to your report", Tom suggested, starting to drum on his stomach with his fingers. "Your trusty pilot strongly recommends that you don't ever play a Talaxian game called Minya."
"I know", she said, "Rexal warned me not to play with Neelix. She said he usually routs the rest of her crew."
Tom snorted. "Wasn't Neelix I had to worry about. Chakotay was kicking my butt."
"Was he?" Her tone was light, but Tom noticed the way that she deliberately continued to look at her padd.
"Maybe you should come and join us", he said, watching her carefully, "I'm sure you could take him on."
Kathryn smiled thinly down at him. "Thanks, but I've had enough of games for now. I wonder how well Neelix knows Rexal," she said suddenly, lowering the padd again. "I mean, apart from the time he did that particular favour for her, they seem to be quite good friends."
"I guess they are", he said, wondering whether to press her on her less than subtle change of topic. "What made you think of that?"
"I was just thinking about what Neelix would do if we find the aperture of the wormhole again, and if it still does take us to the Alpha Quadrant. Or if B'Elanna could get the transwarp drive operable. Do you think he'd come with us?"
"I don't know." Tom sat up, swinging his body around so that his back rested against the wall. "He didn't say how long he was planning to be on the Liberty. Neither did Kes for that matter", he added.
"I wouldn't be surprised if Kes did decide to come with us," Kathryn said.
"Really? Why?"
Kathryn shrugged. "I guess I've got to know her over the past month or so. She's a remarkable young woman. I don't think being far from her own people will hold her back. Besides", she added, "I know she's made friends with several members of the crew. Quite good friends with a few of them."
Tom's eyes lit up. "Is this some juicy Liberty gossip I don't know about?"
She swatted his leg playfully with her hand. "Who said anything about gossip?"
"Good friends, you said", Tom repeated, putting protracted emphasis on the word 'good'. "Is there somebody special? A mystery man? A clandestine paramour? Tell me!"
Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Is that all you ever think about?"
"No", Tom admitted, "I like to fly too".
She couldn't help chuckling at that. "Kes is quite young", she said sobering, "by her species' standards she's still a teenager. But she's maturing quickly."
"And... " Tom prompted.
"And what?" she asked innocently. As Tom pulled an absurd face at her, she couldn't help noting that her sour mood of the past few days was mercifully starting to ease a little. She'd been locking herself away from the others, trying to make it appear that she was merely busy. Tom, however, hadn't allowed her to hide. He'd sought her out regularly, and deliberately - or so she suspected - tried to cheer her up with his flippant behaviour. In fact, she'd seen more of Tom over the past four days than she had for some time.
Part of her wanted to confront Chakotay and question him again. Part of her felt it was childish to avoid him too, but mostly she felt that to push him, possibly towards rejecting her again, would be playing the drama queen. So she'd told herself instead that she wasn't a child, and neither was she a melodramatic teenager. If Chakotay wanted to insist that he didn't have feelings for her, then she wouldn't argue. Even if she suspected there was some other reason for his odd change in behaviour. It did hurt - oh how it hurt, those cruel words he'd spat towards her - but histrionics on her part wouldn't change a thing.
"Okay", Tom said, "I'm now letting you know that I am open to bribery."
"Are you?"
"Name your price and we'll exchange treasures."
She snorted. "Don't you think your priorities are a little off kilter?"
"Kathryn", he said seriously, "information is what I thrive on. You know that."
"Oh," she said, "your betting pools. I forgot."
"Yes", he admitted, "there is that. But there's also my own intrinsic interest in the emotional welfare of our crew."
Now it was Kathryn's turn to roll her eyes. "Alright", she said, after a moment's thought. "I'll tell you for a price, but with an extra stipulation attached."
"Which is?"
"Kes doesn't appear in the betting pools."
Tom eyed her thoughtfully. "You're being very protective of her."
"She's young."
"She can take care of herself."
"She doesn't have to", Kathryn countered.
Tom sighed in defeat. "Alright", he said chewing his lip thoughtfully. "No bets on Kes' mystery man, but that comes in exchange for a different price from me."
Kathryn frowned at him. "Which is?"
Tom was watching her intently, although the timbre of his voice remained casual. "You can answer a question for me about you. About you and Chakotay."
Her eyes narrowed but she continued to hold his gaze. "Go on", she said quietly.
His eyes continued to flicker keenly across her face. "Is he your mystery man?"
"I don't know what you mean", she lied.
"Yes you do." He continued to stare at her. "Is he? Is there anything between you two?"
"You asked me that before", she said.
"And I don't think I was convinced by your response."
Kathryn let out an abrupt breath, then slapped her palms down on her knees in exasperation. "No", she said shortly. "No, there isn't. Most definitely not. Not at all. Not now, not ever. And I do wish everybody would stop asking me."
Tom also seemed to let out a breath he'd been holding. "Good", he said, unthinkingly.
Kathryn looked at him sharply. "Why is that good?"
Tom's face flushed, and his usual mask of overconfidence wavered as his eyes cast around the room distractedly.
"Alright", she said, thinking rapidly. "Now we're even. I'm not involved with Chakotay, and you won't put Kes into the betting pool." She made an effort to inject some levity into her voice, trying to lower the sudden and extremely awkward tension that hung between them. "So what's your price for the name of the man Kes has her eyes on? I get Neelix to promise he'll take a week off cooking as a reward for valour when we get back?"
Tom swallowed hard, then shook his head. "Forget about that", he said quickly. He reached down with his right hand and curled his fingers around hers. She fought the urge to jump at the sudden warmth of his touch.
"Kathryn", he said seriously. "Maybe my timing is bad, maybe this isn't the right time to say this." Thinking about her own recent impulsive actions Kathryn felt her face grow warm. "But I want to say it, so I might as well just throw it out there while I've got the courage to."
"Tom", Kathryn began, "I wasn't -"
"No", he cut her off. "Just let me finish. The timing might be wrong. The sentiment might be -" he shot a quick look at her expression, "- probably is", he amended, "unexpected. But I want you to know that I think you're one of the most remarkable women I've ever met. I might be a few years younger than you. I might not be your Mr. Right - if you even believe in such a thing. But I'm here, now. Not forever, not for something permanent if you don't want that. Just for now."
Kathryn's thoughts were whirling at the surprising turn of events. How could she have not seen this coming? Was she so wrapped up in her own emotions that she had become completely oblivious to those around her? She cleared her throat and said the first thing that popped into her head.
"What about B'Elanna?" she blurted.
Tom looked slightly startled. "B'Elanna?" He shook his head blankly. "What about her?"
"I thought that you... I mean I got the impression that you and she were... well at least that you were interested in..." Kathryn cursed her own sudden attack of stuttering.
Tom chuckled. "No. B'Elanna is just a friend. I like her. She's fun to be around. Not that I want you to tell her I said that", he added.
Kathryn fell silent, trying to think of a suitable response. That she was flattered, but not interested? That even if she was interested, now was not the right time? But was she even so sure that she wasn't interested? Tom had said it himself. He didn't have to be Mr. Right. So what was wrong with someone who was just convenient and temporary? The rogue thoughts caused her head to snap up quickly, and she saw that Tom was still watching her, his eyes intense.
"You weren't expecting this", he said, smiling ruefully. "I know. You've had your mind on -" he hesitated, then said "- other things. I'm not blind to that. So," he said, lowering her hand to rest back on her knee, then stroking her knuckle once more before letting go, "I won't ask you to say anything now. But think about it."
Before Kathryn could respond he stood and made his way to the door. As he stepped through the doorway, he turned to face her again. "My door has a lock", he said, "so people can't just barge in uninvited like some rude people I know." He smiled again, a curiously uncertain gesture. "But I'll leave it unlocked tonight."
Without another word he turned and left the room. Kathryn stared after him, too bewildered by the afternoon's events to do anything else. Tom Paris? she thought. Tom Paris? ...
~~~
end of part thirteen
~ read part fourteen ~
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