AUTHOR: Sally
SUMMARY: Neelix’s latest home brew has a strange effect on the crew, including himself
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: not mine, ‘nuff said!
NOTE: This is the result of the challenge Becca set. Get someone drunk, she said, and have them confess their feelings. So I did! My thanks to Jo and Becca (even if she did set the challenge in the first place!)
Kathryn tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to slide through the holodeck doors and into the party. Within seconds, however, her best friend, and first officer, was by her side.
“Well,” she asked him, eyebrow raised.
“The leola canapés, Talaxian hot-dogs,” he replied, knowing the full extent of her question. “Whatever they are, Earth hot-dogs they are not.”
“Oh,” she replied. “And what about the punch? Did Tom create another masterpiece this year?”
Chakotay grimaced. “And that you should especially stay away from. Neelix created it this year and while he’s heralding it as a great success I’ve spotted more than a few of our partying crew men getting drunk on it.”
“Doctor’s going to be busy tomorrow, then,” Kathryn commented.
“I think so.” He looked at his captain’s questioning face. “Of course I will. You don’t think I’d let you miss out on all the fun, do you?”
She sighed. “Its times like this I wish someone else was Captain.”
Tuvok’s manning the bridge.”
She laughed. “And can you imagine his response when he found out that I’d been mingling with the crew and getting just as drunk as they are? No thank you. It’ll be bad enough having to face the doctor’s lecture tomorrow morning.” Kathryn grinned at her best friend. “Unless you want to swipe a hypospray for me?”
“No way, Kathryn,” he replied. “I’m your first officer but I’d rather not add partner-in-crime to the job description.”
He took her arm and escorted her into the room. Neelix and Tom had created what looked to Kathryn to be an old-fashioned village hall. Tables and chairs had been placed around the room and in the centre was a makeshift dance floor. Already several people were out in the middle, dancing to some music that Kathryn had never heard before. Chakotay attempted to escort Kathryn to a table in the corner but she shrugged him off.
“I’m afraid the captain should put in appearance, Chakotay,” she told him. “I should at least do the rounds.”
“And what are you going to tell them, Kathryn?” he asked. “That it’s the start of another year in the Delta Quadrant? I think they know that. Let them come to you tonight. Everyone’s off duty, including yourself. Take a seat, and I’ll get us drinks.”
She smiled. “Okay. I suppose you’re right.”
“You know I am,” he corrected her.
Kathryn rolled her eyes. “Go get me a drink, mister. And none of that punch stuff!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She watched her best friend disappear into the crowd, as he made his way over to the makeshift bar the other side of the room. As he disappeared her gaze fell on other crewmembers. Most of them appeared to be at the party and she was glad to see that. On the dance floor, a slightly intoxicated Mike Ayala looked to be attempting to do some crazy dance move, cheered on by Megan Delaney. Chell was trying to copy him but wasn’t quite achieving the same measure of success. In another corner of the room Naomi and her mother were sitting with Joe Carey and Icheb. Now that was interesting, Kathryn surmised. Where was Seven? The two former borg were usually to be found in close proximity to each other but, Kathryn noted, Icheb was now seemingly spending more and more time with the Wildman family.
Chakotay had barely sat down again with the drinks when B’Elanna appeared at their table. She made polite conversation for a time and then the reason for her visitation became known. “That husband of mine has decided to play the music all night,” she told them. Her gaze fell upon Chakotay. “Take pity on a pregnant woman and dance with me?”
The first officer laughed. “Like you’d want anyone to take pity on you, B’Elanna.” He stood up. “As long as you don’t tread on my toes, the answer is yes.” He looked back down at Kathryn. “I’ll be right back.”
She waved him off. “Take your time.”
While she was sat alone at the table other crewmembers took the opportunity to stop by and give her New Year greetings. It was as Chakotay had said; they would come to her. She exchanged pleasantries with them, asking after them and their families. Many revealed what the latest letters from home had contained, a son starting high school, a daughter getting married. It was all lovely news but Kathryn couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret at the knowledge that she had separated them from their loved ones.
And then Neelix, morale officer extraordinaire, approached her. It was obvious that he had become somewhat the worse for wear over the course of the evening. He refused to sit down, instead choosing to stand before her.
“How’s the punch, Neelix?” Kathryn asked, somewhat wickedly. Behind the Talaxian she could see Chakotay grinning, having returned from his turn on the floor with their chief engineer.
“Captain,” he began. “I just want to say how good it is to see you at the celebrations. It does the crew’s morale no end of good.”
“Thank you, Neelix,” she said graciously. “Though it looks as though crew morale is being lifted plenty without any help from me.” She nodded in the direction of the dance floor.
Neelix cast a glance in the direction she indicated then turned back to Kathryn. “Between you and me, Captain,” he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “I think Mr. Paris put something in the punch.”
She smiled. “Wouldn’t be the first time, Neelix. But,” she dropped her voice to the same level. “Don’t let on that I said that though.”
The Talaxian smiled. “Your secrets are always safe with me, Captain.”
“That is good to know.” She looked behind him again. Chakotay was still grinning and so far Neelix appeared oblivious to his presence.
“Anything I can do to make your job easier.” Chakotay’s eyebrow raised at this comment and Kathryn had to fight back a smile. “Captain, I have to commend you on the excellent job you continue to do under these difficult circumstances. I do so admire you.”
Kathryn blinked. “You do?”
“Oh yes, Captain.” Neelix now took the seat opposite her and, to her surprise, placed his hands in hers. “Kathryn, may I call you, Kathryn? Kathryn, you have come to mean so much to me. I never thought I could come to care for someone as much as I ever cared for my own dear sweet Kes. But I was wrong. You mean everything to me, and your goal to get this crew home is something I will willingly share. If you need anything, anything at all, you just come to me. I’ll always be here for you.”
As quickly as he had come Neelix was suddenly gone, leaving Kathryn in shock. She looked up at her best friend. “Don’t tell me what I think that was?”
He shook his head. “I never would have thought it possible.”
She closed her eyes and shuddered. “Propositioned by Neelix, I know I’ve been out of it for a while, but that was definitely a proposition.”
“I’m afraid so.”
“But why?”
He leaned against the chair Neelix had vacated. “I have no idea.”
“But doesn’t he realise, I mean, doesn’t he know…?”
Chakotay looked over in the direction of the Talaxian. “Probably not. Look, why don’t I go have a word with him?”
“Are you sure that’s wise?”
“Better now while he’s drunk, then when he sobers up.” He leaned over and placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be all right.”
Kathryn watched as Chakotay strode over to the makeshift bar area where Neexlix was standing. There appeared to be an earnest conversation between the two of them, with plenty of hand gesturing, though she couldn’t tell what was actually being said. Finally, she saw Chakotay shake his head and place a hand consolingly on the cook’s shoulder. Then he was striding back towards her.
“Well?” she asked as he slumped down in the chair next to hers.
“I told him that you thought it inappropriate to have a relationship with a member of the crew.”
“And?”
“He made a comment about when we all get home.”
“And?”
“I told him in that case to get in line.”
“And?”
He sighed. “I think I just signed my own death warrant.”
“Oh, Chakotay,” she smiled. “Its not that serious, is it?”
“I don’t know. Our morale officer can certainly be persistent when he wants to be.” He looked across at her. “Want to get out of here yet?”
“Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
“I’ll meet you back at your quarters then.”
Standing up, the command duo went through the motions of saying goodnight to each other and walking away in opposite directions.
PART 2
The soft snore from across the room gradually woke Kathryn up. Lifting her head up from the couch she saw that the room’s other occupant was slumped in the armchair across from her. It was somewhat with relief that she noted that he was still dressed, as was she.
Then she remembered last night.
Or, more to the point, she remembered part of last night. She remembered Neelix’s speech to her at the party, and she remembered Chakotay’s reaction to it. She then remembered leaving the party and waiting for him to appropriate some of the punch and bring it to the sanctity of her quarters.
After that, nothing.
“Sickbay to Captain Janeway.” The comm demanded her attention.
She groaned. “Yes, Doctor?”
The figure in the chair groaned and then slowly struggled to sit upright. He looked questioningly at her.
“Captain, I have noticed an alarming number of people coming into my sickbay looking for a cure to an apparent hangover.”
Now that he mentioned it she also had a killer headache. “Well, that’s not to be unexpected, Doctor,” she tried to tell him. “It’s the same every year.”
“That is not what concerns me, Captain,” he corrected her. “What concerns me is that a number of crew members who consumed the punch last night have no memories of what happened to them last night. Although they do remember what other crewmembers did. At one point it was so bad in here that I had to remind them that this was a sickbay and not a coffee klatch.”
She sighed. “I’ll be sure to investigate it, Doctor.”
“I’ll come to the point.” Her companion rolled his eyes at that point. “Did you consume any of the punch last night?”
Did she? She couldn’t remember. “I may have done,” she said cautiously.
“If you don’t remember it means you probably did,” he replied tersely. “I’ll be at your quarters in ten minutes. Tell Commander Chakotay not to go anywhere. Sickbay out.”
Chakotay shuffled in his seat. “Affects the memory, huh?”
“It looks like it.” She sighed. “Why couldn’t I have blocked out the memory of the party as well?”
He snorted. “You can bet Neelix has probably forgotten. As for us…” He let the implication hang in the air.
“We’re still dressed, Chakotay,” she replied. “So my guess is that we didn’t.”
“Good!” he exclaimed. When he saw her confused expression he said, “Well, if we had I’d want to remember it.”
“Me too,” she agreed. “Still…”
“Yeah, probably wouldn’t hurt. Doc already thinks there’s something going on anyway.”
The door chime sounded and Kathryn let out a weary, “Come!” The door slid back to reveal the ship’s doctor, carrying a small case.
“Captain,” he nodded. “Commander.”
“Okay, Doc,” Chakotay began. “What’s the story here?”
The doctor sighed as he placed his case down on the coffee table and opened it. “It appears that a certain ingredient in the punch recipe induces a state of memory loss. The interesting thing is that those who suffer this loss can remember with great clarity the doings of everyone else. I’ve got Ms. Wildman in the laboratory attempting to produce an antidote for it but I don’t hold out much hope. The only thing I can do in the meantime is to relieve the hangover that the punch also created.” He sniffed. “Why you people do this to yourselves I just don’t know.”
Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged looks. “Doctor,” the Captain began a little hesitantly. “Could you run a scan to check for…?” she tailed off as the doctor injected a hypospray into her neck. “Thank you.”
The doctor moved across and injected the Commander with the same serum. “You want me to scan you to see if you and the Commander had sex last night,” he stated.
Kathryn coloured.
“Yes, Doctor,” Chakotay filled in for her. “In light of your information…”
“No need to say another word, Commander,” the doctor replied, pulling out a medical tricorder. He scanned Kathryn for a few moments. “Well, Captain, Commander, I am pleased to announce that you did not disgrace yourselves with each other last night.”
“What about with anyone else?” Chakotay asked.
The doctor raised an eyebrow. “Well, Commander, if you really feel its necessary.” He turned the tricorder on the first officer.
“Not me,” Chakotay grinned. “Her!”
Kathryn glared at him. “You are so dead, Chakotay.”
“Hey, I’m just looking out for your well-being,” he protested.
The doctor sighed. “I can safely say that the Captain has not had sexual relations with anyone in some time.” He shook his head. “Really, I must say I’d expect better from you two.”
“No you don’t,” Chakotay retorted. “You come down here every year because you know full well we’ve been having our own celebrations away from the crew.”
“I wasn’t referring to the drinking, Commander,” the doctor replied dryly. He walked back to the desk and put his instruments away. “Well, the two of you should be feeling absolutely fine. You should probably think about reporting to the bridge before Commander Tuvok calls you.”
The door slid shut behind him and Kathryn shook her head. “Well, that was embarrassing,” she muttered.
“Our fair virgin captain,” the commander said, winking at her.
Her response was to throw a cushion at him. “Oh shut up!” she groaned. “Its bad enough that it’ll go down in the medical logs.”
“The captain wanted to know if she had had sex with anyone during a certain period of time,” Chakotay quoted. “Yes, out of context I see how it could be bad.”
“Is there even an in context for it?”
He stood up and walked over to her. Hauling her to her feet he asked, “Well, let’s put it this way, where did the Delaney sisters end up last night? Not only that but are we facing a population boom in nine months?”
“I suppose there’s always that context…” she sighed. “I’ll kill Neelix if we have to build a nursery as a result of this.”
“Speaking of Neelix,” her friend smiled. “Good thing you woke up with me this morning and not him.”
“Oh, please.” She rolled her eyes then turned away. “Well, I suppose we had better get cleaned up. How about I meet you in the mess hall?”
“You’re going to the mess hall?”
Kathryn nodded. “I have to.”
Chakotay stared at her. “You can’t do that, Kathryn. You heard what the doctor said. It’s very likely that Neelix won’t even remember anything. And you can’t reprimand him for something he doesn’t remember.”
She blinked. “I was going to get coffee.”
“Oh,” he replied. “Out of rations again?”
“Yes.”
“See you in the mess hall then,” he said and left to return to his own quarters.
The mess hall was more than a little quiet when Kathryn walked in. Small groups of people sat scattered around tables, but very few people were talking. When the captain breezed in and said, “Good morning,” more than one glare was directed her way.
“Captain!” Neelix called from behind the counter. “How are you this morning?”
“I’m fine, thank you,” she replied, forcing herself to remain calm as she strode over to him. “Any chance of a coffee?”
“Coming right up, Captain.” He turned to grab a mug. “Always glad to hear you’re doing well. A few of the crew were complaining of sore heads this morning.” He turned back and leaned in towards her. “Think there was a little extra something in the punch last night.” He turned away again. “I hope you didn’t have any.”
She swallowed, and was thankful that he couldn’t see her face. “No, I didn’t,” she replied.
“Ah, well, just as well,” he replied, as he passed her a hot mug of steaming liquid to her. “It was a good night, don’t you think?”
“Oh yes, absolutely.”
“What was your favourite part of the evening, Neelix?” the Commander asked, having appeared now at Kathryn’s side. He received a subtle nudge to the ribs from her for his question.
Neelix appeared thoughtful. “You know, I really have to say I don’t know. It all seems such a whirl of activity now. I’m not sure that I can pick out a particular highlight. What was yours?”
Chakotay smiled. “That would be telling, I think.”
Neelix chuckled. “Maybe its best kept to yourself, then. Well, I must get going on the lunch menu. I hope I’ll see you both back in here then.”
“We’ll see, Neelix,” Kathryn told him, as she and Chakotay turned to leave the mess hall. “You know, Chakotay, that was rather cruel of you.”
“Proves he doesn’t remember anything though. Isn’t that what you’d prefer?”
“You’ve also added fuel to the fire and the betting pools,” she replied.
“That’s a point, I need to put another bet on. Remind me later.” They began to make their way to the bridge. “You know, I never could figure out what Kes saw in that guy.”
“Me neither. But we all know what you men saw in Kes.”
He shrugged. “What can I say? She had a particular quality to her.”
They reached the turbolift and began their ascent. “You all thought she had a particular quality to her. I still remember the scene in sickbay when you all found out who she was. I thought I was going to have to break up another fight between you and Tom over her.”
“I think Neelix would have flattened us both. He does get protective, you know.”
“Really?” the captain asked sarcastically, one eyebrow raised. “Can’t say I’d noticed.”
Chakotay laughed. “You think I’m bad. Neelix can be a lot worse. I remember Kes getting very frustrated because he didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. He cared a lot for her.”
“I know.”
“But there would be good parts to dating him.”
Kathryn turned and stared at him. “You have to be kidding me,” she said slowly.
His grin got bigger. “Endless supply of coffee, for example.”
“An endless supply of sludge, you mean.”
“If its sludge, then why did you go down there this morning.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures. And I didn’t hear you offering any of your rations.”
“You take too many as it is. Want another reason?”
“No.”
“You’d have…” The turbolift came to a halt, the doors opened and whatever reason Chakotay might have been going to give was left unsaid. Instead he followed his captain onto the bridge.
“Good morning everyone!” Kathryn called cheerfully. “How is everything?” There was a collectively muttered “fine” given from all areas. “That good?” she asked, doubtfully. “Okay, everyone. Let’s try to get some work done, shall we. Mr. Paris, maintain our present course.” She strode across the bridge and looked back at Chakotay standing by his chair. “Commander, you have the bridge. I’ll be in my ready room.”
Less than five minutes after she had sat down at her desk a message flashed onto Kathryn’s screen.
“One more reason for dating our chief cook and morale officer… you can keep all those protocols of yours firmly in place.”
She knew she shouldn’t but she could help but type back a one-word reply. “Why?”
“He’s not Starfleet.”
The alpha shift looked around quickly at the sound of something metallic hitting the ready room door from the other side. When they turned to the commander for assurance they found him attempting to hide a smirk.
Kathryn sighed as she bent pick up the thrown PADD. That man would be the death of her, she decided. And revenge was definitely needed. She might not be able to punish Neelix, and thinking about it, it really was sweet of him to say those things to her last night. Rarely did any member of the crew feel they could say anything personal to her, even when they were drunk. So no, she couldn’t punish Neelix for anything, especially when the poor man would most likely never remember.
But as long as Chakotay remembered and persisted in ribbing her about it she could exact some measure of satisfaction. She returned to her desk and dug into the ship’s computer to find the latest betting pools. Noting gladly that he’d not yet thought to place a bet on her and Neelix she entered in her code name and paused. Who could she pair him up with?
A moment later she smiled wickedly as a suitable person came to mind. She entered in the details of the bet and the odds she was willing to put on it. With any luck this would be all over the ship by the end of beta shift.
“Neelix to Captain Janeway.”
Of course, she herself was going to find it hard to think about Voyager’s morale officer in quite the same light as she had previously.
FINIS