TITLE: Storm Clouds Clearing
AUTHOR: Matteabrit, September 2002
SUMMARY: Chakotay has made some decisions regarding his life but will Kathryn go along with them?
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: The drill is this: the characters are theirs but the piece is mine.
Many thanks to SaRa for getting this read through so quickly.
Kathryn stared out the window and looked at the fields beyond. The rain was pelting down; it would not be a good memory to have of this final morning. “I think I understand,” she said at last. “You have other obligations.”
He reached out a hand to her shoulder, felt her body tense at his touch. “I’m sorry,” he said, as gently as he could. “They need me.”
She swung around to face him, eyes puffy, cheeks red. “They need you?” she repeated icily. “What about me, Chakotay? What about us? Did you not think that I might need you?”
He shook his head. “Kathryn, I have stood by your side for seven years. Not once did I desert you.”
She sniffed. “Could have fooled me.”
“Are you going to bring Seven up again, Kathryn? We’ve been through this a million times. I have never stopped being there for you, whether you knew and appreciated it or not. I put my life on hold for you.” He paused and scratched the side of his face, attempting to defuse some of the anger within him. “And I would do it all again gladly. But I have other priorities now.”
She stared at him. “Other priorities?” she asked. “Are you telling me that this relationship I thought we were in is not a priority?”
Chakotay sighed and took a step back. “Okay, so that came out wrong,” he admitted. “Our relationship is a priority, and it’s been a priority for me for the last seven years.”
“Are you implying perhaps that it hasn’t been for me?”
The anger flared again. “For god’s sakes, woman. Stop putting words into my mouth. Look, my people want me back to help them rebuild. Don’t you think they deserve even just a slight bit of my time and attention? I did leave Starfleet for them in the first place, after all.”
Kathryn turned back to the window. “I’ll see you around then.” The rain was still coming down, a chillingly depressing Indiana morning.
There was silence in the room; the only sound being the rain beating against the glass panes. She continued to stare at the muddy cornfields while his gaze fixed upon her. He didn’t want to leave like this.
“Come with me,” he finally said.
“I can’t.” It was as though she had been expecting his invitation.
“Why not? Come on, Kathryn. Come with me. My people would love to meet you. Please.” He didn’t want to have to beg her; even his pride had limits.
“I can’t,” she repeated flatly. “My life, my career is here.”
“You have given years of your life to Starfleet, isn’t it time to take some of it back?”
“You don’t understand.” He thought he could see the tears in her reflection, but it could have just been the rain trickling down. “Starfleet is a part of me, I can’t let it go.”
“That’s bullshit, Kathryn, and you know it.” It was time to go. There was nothing more to be said. Except one thing, perhaps the most important thing he would ever say to her. “I love you,” he murmured. Then he turned and left.
###
Reconstruction was difficult; more than he had ever imagined it would or could be. His sister hadn’t been exaggerating when she had said that the Cardassians had destroyed everything. In the year or so since the end of the war little had been done. At least it appeared that way. The truth was that the soil had needed to be treated before anything else could be started, and that had taken many months.
Chakotay’s sister lived in a wood-built hut that she shared with her husband. They had offered their hearth to him, but after just a few days he began to create his own structure out of necessity. Mika and Jose were still newlyweds in the eyes of the people and he didn’t want to impose on them for any longer than he had to. After a dozen days of hard work, and with some help from some fellow villagers, he soon had a place to call his own. It wasn’t much, very basic in fact, but it suited him.
Six months of exhaustion eventually began to yield results. Crops sprang up, permanent structures were created, and the planet finally began to take on some semblance of how it used to be. Sitting back for one moment in the late morning sun, Chakotay wiped his brow and nodded to the approaching elder.
“There’s a woman to see you, Chakotay,” the grey-haired man informed him.
Chakotay shielded his eyes in order to see the man better. “A woman?” he asked. “I’m not expecting anyone.”
“Still, she is here. To see you.” The elder was a man of few words. He had come to Chakotay to deliver a message and now that he had done so he turned to go. A few steps and he turned back once more. “It’s a white woman, Chakotay,” he said. “You be careful.”
A white woman. The words reverberated in Chakotay’s ears as he stood up. He knew few who could be described as such, and fewer still who would visit him. Slowly he made his way back to the village.
She stood there, in a long white cotton dress, awkwardly, looking about her as though searching for something familiar. Chakotay’s heart almost stopped beating as he realised just who it was waiting by his home. He shook his head, unable to believe that she was actually there.
“Kathryn?” he breathed at last.
She turned at the sound of her name and she smiled tearfully at him. “Hello,” she began hesitantly. “I hope you don’t mind.”
His eyes widened, unable to blink, still struggling to comprehend that she was really there. “Mind?” he repeated, finding it difficult to think clearly. His heart was thundering now, the blood rushing through his body.
“Me being here,” she said. Mistaking his expression and silence for something else she turned. “I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have come. Forgive me.” She turned and walked back down the path towards the centre of the village.
Suddenly his head cleared, his senses kicked in. “Wait,” he cried out, striding towards her. “Don’t go. For goodness sakes, Kathryn, don’t leave. Not now.” He grasped her shoulder, spinning her around. Then he saw the tears in her eyes. “And please don’t cry,” he whispered, raising a hand to her face and wiping away the moisture. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
She sniffed. “Are you? Are you really? I didn’t know… I didn’t know if I would be welcome.” The tears began again.
He found the opportunity to gather her to him irresistible. Pulling her close and stroking her hair he murmured that she would always be welcome.
Later she told him why she had changed her mind. “They offered me the Voyager back. I walked around her and found I couldn’t do it.”
“You left Voyager?” he asked, incredulous.
“I did more than that,” she grinned. “I left Starfleet as well.”
His jaw dropped. “You’re kidding?”
She shook her head. “Oh, I know I always said I couldn’t, but when it came down to it I found I’d become rather dependent on my former first officer and if I had to make the choice between him and Starfleet I knew what I had to choose.”
“Oh, Kathryn,” he said gently, holding her tightly against him. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” she replied, and his heart soared. “I’m here to stay, if you want me.”
Chakotay nodded. There was nothing he wanted more.
FINIS
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