AUTHOR: Sally
RATING: PG/PG-13
SUMMARY: Never issue a challenge you’re not prepared to do yourself. That’s my theory anyway. The five items were: lock and key, puppet, champagne, stuffed animal, pen.
DISCLAIMER: I like to play with other people’s toys!
“You know,” Kathryn surmised. “The phrase ‘lock and key’ isn’t really a good one, is it?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, mystified.
“The term ‘under lock and key’ isn’t really true at all. After all, I can see the lock but unless you have a key hidden about your person, Commander…?”
“You’re talking in circles again, Kathryn,” he sighed. “Why don’t you get some sleep? I really don’t think anything’s going to happen to us and the bed certainly looks comfortable enough.”
She eyed him darkly. “Sleep? How’d you expect me to sleep?”
“Kathryn. I am still your first officer and I still have a fairly good idea of what you need, even if you don’t.”
“And just what do you think I need?”
“How about that bed, for starters?” He indicated his head towards the pallet.
“For starters?”
He was quickly becoming ‘not in the mood’ for his senior officer’s rumblings.
“Captain!” he growled out. “Either you get some rest…”
“Yes?” She dared him to continue.
“I’ll persuade the doctor to sing Klingon opera the next time you’re in sickbay.”
She grinned. “You wouldn’t?”
“I know a Klingon engineer who could probably alter a few of his subroutines. Want to try me?”
Kathryn wasn’t so she frowned and shuffled across to the large bed set up against one wall. “Funny sort of waiting room to have a bed,” she groused as she sat down on it.
“I don’t think this is a waiting room,” Chakotay commented. “I think the universal translator got it very wrong.” It certainly hadn’t mistaken the work for prison, of that Chakotay was sure. Their surroundings were entirely too sumptuous for a jail cell. Perhaps ‘guest quarters’ was a more accurate translation. “Anyway, Kathryn. You get some rest. We’ll think it over some more in the morning. Okay?”
“You’ll wake me if anything happens?”
Like she’d sleep through any excitement, Chakotay thought. “Yes, Kathryn. I’ll wake you.”
There was a silence for a while. Chakotay settled himself into the oversized easy chair and watched his captain close her eyes.
“Chakotay?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“Are you going to sleep too?”
“Perhaps.”
“Where?”
Aha, Chakotay thought. Now I understand why she doesn’t want to sleep. “Right here in this chair, Kathryn,” he reassured her. “Its pretty comfortable, actually.”
“Okay,” she murmured.
Moments passed. He watched her toss and turn, in vain attempts to get comfortable. Finally he could stand it no longer.
“Kathryn? Are you okay?”
She turned back to face him. “I’m fine, Chakotay.”
“But?” he prompted.
She sighed. “This bed is just so big. I’m not used to it.”
He laughed. “Can’t decide which side to sleep on, huh?”
“Its too big for one person,” she complained.
Sirens went off in Chakotay’s head. ‘Oh no,’ he thought. ‘I am not getting into this conversation. Not now.’ He wasn’t going to touch that with one of Tom Paris’ proverbial barge poles, not when he had a feeling that he knew what ‘waiting room’ should have translated as.
“Sorry, Kathryn,” he responded cheerfully. “I didn’t think to pack a soft toy for this trip.”
“A what?”
“Soft toy. You know. A stuffed animal.”
“Chakotay!” she exclaimed. “I’ll have you know that I have not had a stuffed animal in years. Good grief, I’m a grown woman, Commander.”
He fought back the urge to laugh at her protests. “Well,” he said instead. “I know of one grown woman on Voyager who has her own stuffed Targ.”
This got her interest. “B’Elanna has a stuffed Targ?”
“Yep,” he grinned. “Its called Tommy.”
“Tommy the Targ? I don’t believe it.”
“Strictly speaking,” he continued. “Its Tommy the Second. I had to replicate her a new one after she lost the original when we transferred onto Voyager.”
“That is just too funny.”
“It won’t be if you tell her I told,” he warned.
More silence followed. Chakotay closed his own eyes.
“Chakotay…”
“No, Kathryn.” He just knew she was going to mention it.
“Chakotay,” she persisted. “Why don’t you sleep in the bed? Its big enough for the both of us.”
“No, Kathryn,” he repeated.
“Why not?”
He sighed. “Kathryn, if I share that bed with you I am not going to get any sleep at all and chances are neither are you.” The implication was clear.
“Oh,” was all she said.
“Yes. Oh. Now goodnight.” He closed his eyes again. He ignored her calling of his names, pretending to be asleep.
He was woken up by the sound of the door crashing open. Opening his eyes he found Voyager’s security chief standing in their room.
“Good morning, Tuvok,” he yawned.
“Good morning, Commander,” was the reply. “Is the captain with you?”
“Go away,” came from the direction of the bed. “Trying to sleep.”
“Yes, Tuvok,” Chakotay smiled. “She’s here and she’s fine. What are you doing here?”
“When we could not get a lock on you I decided that it was logical to presume you were in trouble. Indeed, I find I was right. Mr. Ayala found that the door to this room was locked, although your captors had left a key in the lock.” The security officer held up a slim silver object.
Kathryn had obviously been following the conversation because she sat bolt upright in bed. “See, Chakotay!” she exclaimed. “I knew there had to be a key somewhere.”
“There’s always a key somewhere, Kathryn,” Chakotay explained patiently. “In our case, it just happened to be the wrong side of the door.” He turned back to Tuvok. “Okay, good, you’ve found us. Now get out of here.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Leave us.”
“Are you mad, Chakotay?” Kathryn asked.
“Totally,” he replied. “I’m going on a hunch here.”
“A hunch, Commander?”
“Yes, Tuvok. A hunch. I know you don’t believe in them but trust me.” He stood up and began to back the security officer out of the room. “Are the translators back online?”
“Yes, Sir,” Tuvok replied, now standing at the doorway. “I believe Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Torres found it an uncomplicated task once they discovered the problem.”
“I just bet they did,” the commander commented sarcastically. “Goodbye, Commander. Don’t forget to lock the door on your way out.” The door closed firmly and, satisfied after hearing the key turn in the lock, Chakotay leaned his back on it and faced the room.
Kathryn was kneeling up on the bed, wide-eyed. “What the hell did you go and do that for, Commander?”
“Captain, we are not in a jail cell.”
“Oh really? We’re locked in. Just what would you call it?”
“One of Tom Paris’ schemes.”
“What?”
“Face it, Kathryn. And he had help. Neelix knew these people. It was just a matter of passing along the information he had to certain people who then made sure the translators developed a fault.”
“Lead male, lead female,” Kathryn growled. “No wonder Tom’s shoulders were shaking when the Coturi elder requested our presence.” She looked around again. “But if this isn’t a jail cell and not a waiting room either, then what is this place?”
Her first officer didn’t get a chance to respond as the door opened behind him, causing him to jump hastily away from it.”
“Good morning,” the male Coturi greeted. “Were you waiting long?”
Chakotay took in Kathryn’s shocked expression. Now that the translator was functioning again, ‘waiting’ had indeed become a very different word.
“For a time,” he answered casually. “Nice surrounding.”
“Good, so glad. Since you appear to be well prepared I will take you to the High Council of Elders,” the Coturi said. “Please come.”
Chakotay walked over to the bed and took a still shocked Kathryn by the hand, pulling her to her feet. “Lead the way,” he told their guide.