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(From A Girlfriend's Point Of View)
By Edralin "Len" Chan Gillego

Long distance relationships ... do they ever work? Or should I ask, is there such a thing? This question has gnawed constantly at the back of my mind for the past four years. But now, I've stopped asking because I guess loving someone from afar (a cadet ... "for that matter") works in mysterious ways indeed.

Surprisingly, despite all the sacrifices ("Sincerely"), the fights, never-ending complaints, fast-break phone calls, out-of-this-world-vaultfile-excuses, unmailed letters (not to mention the attempts - as claimed), close calls and collect calls, and how would I ever forget ... the constant use of the overused, abused and totally damaged phrase: "I'm busy!" ... I'm still here. Now, don't ask me why, I'll tell you later ... (before I tell it to the Marines, of course.)

For the past years, I've read every article in this Corps Magazine that virtually depicts the hardships encountered by a cadet. Truly, cadets lead an extraordinary life. A life where restrictions are ordinary, compliances are mandatory and of course, fulfillment in serious romantic relationships are just close to fantasy. And yet the sacrifices of being a girlfriend of a cadet has never been fully explored and made known to ordinary people. Thus, this serves to be the purpose of this article.

Time and again, cadets seek to be understood by their girlfriends. The distance, the waiting, the restrictions and their duty are the very basic things that we have to accept. We too, have to adapt to their rules so that conflicting interests will be avoided. But in as much as cadets have their squabbles, we too have our own, thus we also seek to be heard and understood. We live in a culture totally different from theirs that's why, the essence of meeting halfway is inevitable.

However, there are times when loneliness gets the better out of us and we long to realize the meaning of the word-called "COMPANIONSHIP." Unknowingly, we ask ourselves: "Why must we wait two years, three years or five years - and seem to waste so much time, when there are other "alternatives" we can consider?

Well, there is no simple answer. So we just think that the "good-byes" are just temporary. Thus, we give that mysterious gift of waiting ... of being present without making demands or asking rewards. There is nothing harder to do than this. For it tests the sincerity of our love. And though our kisses are not promises and our promises are not contracts, definitely, there is always LIFE in the gifts we give.

The past four years have been a good learning experience. I guess it is just a matter of living moments in taking a day at a time, rather than living so many years of each day. Though the worst is yet to come, it boils down to one thing ... LOVE. It is the only four letter word we need to know. And yes ... we have to listen and everything else would follow.

To the cadets, just appreciate everything and value what you have. You may be restricted in a lot of ways, but it is not an excuse. Don't wait for things to happen and wonder afterwards. MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. Love doesn't happen overnight. And it doesn't sit there like a stone, rather it has to be renewed everytime. Most of all, prove yourselves worthy of our trust, love and respect. We are indeed proud of you but make us more proud by seeing you adhere to the words, "Courage, Loyalty, and Integrity" in every sense of the phrase.

To the girlfriends, the distance may prove to be unbearable. But just bear in mind that the feeling of loving someone from afar only comes once in a lifetime. Don't expect them to be right for you, be the right persons yourselves first. And just as love is always a matter of risks, perhaps, the saying is true, Love is always a risk WORTH TAKING.

... to my C-0495, the wait is far from over and asking how many years more is out of the question because through all the sacrifices and pains in between, HAPPINESS will always be our special gift. And though things are getting complicated, rest assured that "I'll never lose that loving feeling ..."


Source: "The Corps" February 1996 Issue


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