© October 5, 2000
Disclaimer: Voyager belongs to Paramount Pictures. No infringement intended.
"Well?" the alien sitting at his private console asked. "Did you get it?"
"Of course. I'm surprised those Federations are ordering online. You would think they'd know that an incomplete server load leaves you open to hacks," the other alien man laughed with pleasure but also amazement. "When Trugii asked us to sit and monitor their credit exchanges from onboard ship, I thought it would be another lagging job."
"Who would've thought. A starship that big and complex and they can't figure out that no space channel is completely secure? You're sure it's not a trap?"
"Do those digits transferring themselves from their credit, to ours, look like they're lying?"
"You're right," he confirmed, "the numbers never lie."
Chakotay and his 'crew' were wandering around the station. They had been on the spacial hub a total of seven minutes and already they were wondering how they had gotten this crazy -- crazy to be wandering around a two mile mall of sorts. They were like any number of guys out in the galaxy -- shopping, if not for themselves in the form of beer, babes, brawls and technology, just wasn't for them.
Chakotay watched as species after species, many of which were female, moved in and out of stores, up and down lifts, through crowds and into every bit of hub space that was available with a sale. "How do they make sense of this?" he wondered, lost in the waves of action around him.
"Let's start with the directory," Tom suggested knowing that if they didn't find one soon, they would all chicken out and go for the first perfume they could find to buy. And that would be disastrous not only to their health but to their noses as well.
"There, over there," Ensign Brandon pointed out and the group made their way, as best they could, to it.
"Okay," Harry skimmed through information on the interactive and electronic hub directory, "according to this . . . we . . .are . . here."
They all leaned in to look at the blinking red X that marked their spot in the consumerism maze.
"There's a 'Tupandi' Garment dealer in section 2Zeta3," Ensign Ian pointed out.
"'Pokchantie Herb dealer on 4Zeta5," Chakotay stated as the list went on and on.
"Hey!" Tom perked up, "'Burgman Pleasures Unlimited. I say we start there."
They all groaned in unison.
"I hate shopping," Annie stated surprising Kathryn Janeway.
Kathryn turned and looked with raised eyebrows, "Ensign?"
"Oh," Annie smiled, and shrugged, "I just hate shopping."
Kathryn smiled and patted the young woman on the back, "I understand. I keep thinking that if it weren't for Tuvok and the Doctor I might be onboard, sipping a nice, hot, black coffee, reading a PADD and --"
"And forgetting that you have Christmas presents to buy?" B'Elanna leaned into the small conversation of the two women. "Oh yes," she teased, "we know." Annie laughed, "I still have no clue what I'm getting everyone."
"Oh! Is that plum? I have to have the plum as well . . . but I also like the peach with yellow swirl glitter --" Katie was going over the alien version of nailpolish. "Say," she turned to the store tender who was thrilled to have a definite sale, "how hard is this stuff to remove?"
"Except Katie," Annie stated in an after effect. "I think I know what I will buy her," she sighed with abandon, moving off to hide a few bottles of the nailpolish in her basket.
Kathryn watched as the other woman made the 20th Century term 'Secret Agent' come to life as Annie moved time and time again to hide her goods from Ensign Katie. Kathryn had to shake her head in amazement before moving to join Celia and B'Elanna. Celia and B'Elanna were leaning in, their noses only an inch away from some small boxes that sat upright on a shelf in the store.
"What are those?" Kathryn moved in to eye the boxes as well.
"You know," Celia stated. "It never ceases to amaze me that, no matter how far you go in the galaxy, there is always some kind of gobbledeegook to slather on your feminine self. Ne c'est pas?!"
They both looked at the other woman, who had gorgeous blonde hair and a rather self-assured nature that made others around her feel at ease, as they wondered why she would need any kind of 'gobbledeegook' at all.
"Well," B'Elanna leaned back with Celia at the same time, folding her arms in defiance, "I'd much rather find a transwarp coil as easily as this stuff.
Wouldn't you, Captain?"
"Is that one a mocha blend?" Kathryn asked, picking up the facial box for closer inspection.
Chakotay was busy trying to drag Lieutenant Ian out of the store that was selling computer music chips.
"Come on, Commander," Lieutenant Ian grinned, waving three small chips in front of his face, "these would make a great addition for the computer's database."
"Don't you mean for your database?" Chakotay pulled him along as best he could.
"Well, that and I know that Ensign Annie enjoys music," he smiled.
Chakotay stopped, not buying it for a second, and plucked one of the chips from Ian's unsuspecting grasp, "Buffy Brimptopian Babes Sing Songs of Kluckdah day?"
"The merchant told me it was a classic," he shrugged sheepishly.
Chakotay took the rest of the chips and put them on a shelf, grabbing the young man again, "Come on, Lieutenant. The Brimptopian Babes will have to wait -- we have babes of our own to buy for."
"I just can't I just can't! I don't even know what style shoes Annie likes to wear! Or what books she likes to read! All I know is that I like her!" he practically hollered as they made their way out of the store.
After a total of twenty-five minutes and thirty-two seconds, B'Elanna, Kathryn, Celia and Annie had finally managed to drag Ensign Katie out of the store, complete with her bag of over fifteen nailpolish colors.
"We're *supposed* to be shopping for our crew," Celia eyed the girl who was practically sour with pouting. "Not ourselves."
Kathryn hid her facial mask bag as best she could.
"More importantly," B'Elanna added, "we're supposed to be shopping for the male crew that we work closely with."
"Lieutenant?" Kathryn Janeway questioned. She hadn't known this was part of the specified outing. B'Elanna paused for a moment trying to think of a way to key her Captain into the fact that there were men . . . *~*men*~* . . . aboard ship that they would be with for the next seventy years. Not to mention, wasn't Janeway aware of Chakotay by her side, day and night?! He was one *hell* of a man, too.
"Well," Torres started, searching frantically for just the right words, "we're going to probably start pairing off." Had she just said that?! Warning sirens started to go off in her mind: Too much information for the Captain after only three months into the journey!
Kathryn herself had stated those words to Chakotay only recently and so she was only slightly surprise that someone else was saying them to her now. The element of surprise stemmed from the fact that their source was B'Elanna. No doubt she had more emotions to play with than a lot of her crew, but outward admittance of searching for a bond with a male member of Voyager's ranks was a big step and a strange one to absorb.
"That's true, Lieutenant," Kathryn nodded her head. "Besides," she sighed, thinking of a rather clever way to get away with things, "I suppose it wouldn't do, under the extreme circumstances we're in, for the Captain to forget any of her crew, who have been by her side, during our first holiday as a family."
"Yes," Celia perked up, knowing full well that the Captain was deliberately trying to hit everything *but* the nail on the head. "Though," she added, "we all need someone, or something personal, during this time of year, to bring us closer to home," she paused, ". . . so to speak."
Caffey was the first to break the silence that ensued, "That was just too beautiful, Celia!"
They started to move again, toward the next store, the Captain walking with Annie, at the head of the group.
"Are you crazy?" B'Elanna moved forward to whisper with excitement in Celia's ear. "I think she knows what you were hinting at!"
Caffey laughed, "You mean that the Captain should pair off with the Commander?"
"SHhhh!" both Celia and B'Elanna said at once, nervously glancing to where Annie was trying to send funny faces, to hush them, over her shoulder as she walked with Kathryn.
"Hey! If it's ever been anyone's job to bring Janeway and Chakotay together, it's mine!" Celia grinned.
"I just don't understand why she doesn't notice that hunk of a Commander by her side more often," Caffey frowned, thinking aloud. "I mean, she is a human being!"
"More importantly," Celia had a twinkle in her eye, "She's a single woman."
"What about that Mark guy we've heard about through ship gossip?" Caffey asked.
"Don't kid yourself. He's history," B'Elanna leveled her gaze at the two of them as they rushed to catch up to the Captain and Annie.
"Hey! Look at that!" Caffey exclaimed as they moved further around the hub. "I wonder what it sells?"
"'Burgman Pleasures Unlimited'. . ." B'Elanna said thoughtfully aloud, pausing where she was, while the others moved ahead of her. She watched as they entered the store and she started to pick up her pace, but halted as it dawned on her, "Hey! Wait! Captain?! Wait!"
"Uh, I don't know --" Harry Kim said, looking at the strange doll that Ensign Brandon held up.
"You know," he shook the doll that had two heads, four eyes and was a rust orange color, "for Celia to snuggle with at night?" He sighed, disappointed, "Are you telling me she wouldn't like this? It's . . ." he stared at the doll himself, trying not to make a face, "cute?"
"Are you sure that thing won't come to life at night and murder us all in our sleep?" Tom Paris eyed the doll and snorted with laughter.
Brandon threw the doll back into the small mound of other ones, "Well then I give up! You understand?! I --- Give ---" He halted his speech when Chakotay looked up at him with that calm but, 'repeat that just for me?' look. Brandon wasn't going to repeat.
"They don't have shoes," Ian sighed, "Shoes were on my list."
"Chakotay? Find anything for yours?" Tom asked, running fingers through his hair. They had been cross referencing the lists they had with merchandise from shop to shop. Unfortunately, there wasn't a universal merchandiser to help convert what alien women liked into what the Starfleet and Maquis women were bound to prefer.
"Unless 'cute stuffed animals' means the two-headed monster Brandon held up, then I have absolutely nothing," Chakotay shook his head as if it were hard for him to believe as well.
"Alright, next store," Tom jerked his head toward the exit. "Two down, one hundred and thirty-four stores to go."
"--Thirty-three," Harry corrected, "we don't want to risk going to the Vidiian perfume shop -- yet."
