“What’s Left to Say”

Author’s Note: this story contains spoilers for the episode “Fusion.” I wrote this for a friend who wondered what T’Pol might have told Captain Archer after the forced mind meld with Tolaris. Hope you enjoy it. Once again, all characters are not mine, etc, etc.



Captain Jonathan Archer peered into the darkened sickbay exam room. Dr. Phlox had already explained in brief the extent of Sub Commander T’Pol’s medical condition. She would recover, but she was quite ill. Tolaris was somehow responsible for this. The rest Phlox said T’Pol would tell him.

Archer had grown suspicious of Tolaris and there was a kind of grim satisfaction he felt in having his thoughts justified. But seeing his science officer in sickbay so soon again after almost losing her before immediately erased this feeling.

T’Pol sat hunched up in bed, a dark blue cotton exam robe draped over her shoulders. She heard Phlox announce Archer’s presence. With an effort, she turned to face her captain. She could immediately read his feelings just by looking at his face. Concern at her condition, anger at Tolaris…it was all there in his tight lips and flashing eyes.

Was that how it was for Tolaris, she wondered? Had it been so easy for him to read her feelings? What had she shown that led him to believe it would be so easy to take her down…to enter her mind at his will…to do what he did to her? She retched and closed her eyes as a wave of nausea passed over her.

Archer walked quickly to the bed. When she opened her eyes he saw a look he never hoped to see again on anyone’s face. There was a sick, hurt look there, a look that pierced his heart with the knowledge of a pain that would know no easy comfort. He ached to touch her, to somehow convey his own sorrow and anger without the pitiful inadequacy of words. Knowing that Vulcans disdained physical contact with humans, his arms stayed helplessly at his side.

“T’Pol…Dr. Phlox told me you’re pretty ill but you’ll be better soon. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to know what happened. I need you to tell me what he did to you.”

T’Pol turned her head away and nodded, swallowing hard. Archer waited for what seemed an eternity until she began to talk in a soft, hoarse tone, almost a whisper.

“I did not expect it to end like this. I did not realize how far down the path to chaos his mind had wandered. I erred in trusting him. It was illogical…”

Archer’s belly tightened at this. Whatever happened, he knew T’Pol shouldn’t be taking any of the blame. It was just like her at times. He sighed and cut her off gently.

“T’Pol, I don’t know what happened yet, but you’re not to blame for doing this to yourself. Blaming the victim is illogical.”

T’Pol fell silent again, studying Archer’s face and drawing comfort from his forced calm words. She knew this wasn’t easy for him either. His own struggle for control was apparent. She felt his strength as he waited for her to talk and somehow she was able to let it flow into her, helping her gather up the words necessary to say what was needed.

“Captain, Tolaris wanted to show me how it was like to live as they do. He asked me as a science officer, to try an experiment. I did not meditate last night at his suggestion. My dreams were…disturbing, to say the least. I dreamed a memory from my days at the Vulcan compound. I had gone out alone at night, very late. I walked about in the city until I heard the most unusual music…it is called jazz. I was…exhilarated by it…a strange, physical sensation. It is difficult to explain…but in my dream, it was different. He was there. His words were in my ear…then we were together…”

T’Pol’s voice faltered, then she coughed. Archer poured a glass of water for her from a tumbler on the nightstand. She took the glass and sipped quietly, stifling another cough.

“The next morning he asked about my dreams. I told him about being in the club and listening to the music. He told me the sensation I had was…emotional…that he could help me recover it and understand it. I was… intrigued…I agreed to enter into a ‘mind meld with him.”

“Mind meld?” Archer was puzzled. “I don’t understand?”

“ I know nothing about the history of this technique. Tolaris told me it is an ancient Vulcan one, long since forgotten by our people. A method for two people to share each other’s thoughts. He asked me to join with him. I…consented…I had no idea what it would be like.”

Archer felt another wave of anger wash over him as T’Pol hesitated, fighting for words. What had this man taken from her? With the anger came another feeling. Guilt. He had urged T’Pol to mingle with the Vulcans, even against her better judgment. He remembered her saying they were playing a dangerous game. He’d ignored her advice and now this happened. He cursed himself inwardly. What had the bastard done?

“T’Pol…what did he do to you?”

“He…entered my mind, Captain. He was inside me. He could see everything. He had all my memories, even the most private. I couldn’t get away…I couldn’t stop him. I wanted it to end…I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t. He grew angry…he insisted, until at last I pushed him away…then he left me…hurt like this.”

Archer’s hands tightened into fists. A blind rage filled him. T’Pol’s gaze caught his; her dark eyes a mirror of his anger.

“He violated me, Captain.”

“He raped you, T’Pol”

She closed her eyes hard, blinking back a sudden wetness. Her lack of control was disturbing. She fought quickly for composure. She needed to think clearly. Archer had a decision to make.

“Yes…rape is perhaps the better word. A strong word appropriate for such an attack.”

“T’Pol…this is also my fault. I encouraged you to learn from them, even after you told me about the danger. I was ignorant and foolish. This was the result.”

She wearily shook her head. “No Captain, just as it is illogical to blame the victim, it is also illogical to blame you.”

Archer began pacing. Thinking of Tolaris sleeping easily in his quarters while T’Pol struggled to tell her story fueled his anger. Despite T’Pol’s words, his guilt still lingered as well. He could only think of confronting Tolaris, smashing the arrogant Vulcan’s features until that ever-present slight smile was a distant memory.

“I need to go and see him now, T’Pol. He’s going to the brig. I’ll contact the High Command and tell them he’s in custody. I’m certain we can arrange a transport back to Vulcan where he’ll face charges.”

There was no reply. He waited for her acknowledgement. She turned away from him again, shuddering. T’Pol fought the chaos in her own mind.

Return to Vulcan? Tell the High Command how she consented to the experiment? No…she did not want this. How could any of them understand? And the rest of the rebels? They would suffer for Tolaris’ actions as well. They had come so far and no longer could adjust to Vulcan society. No…it was better for them to leave…to go where they would. There would not be another Vulcan woman for Tolaris to attack. None like her, anyway.

“Jon, I need to ask you not to report this.”

“T’Pol, I know how hard this is for you, but we can’t let him get away with this!”

His anger momentarily got the better of him. It took a moment for Archer to realize she had called him by name. When he did, his tone softened. She was really reaching out to him now. She needed him and this realization made him feel humbled.

“Jon, if we report this they will all be detained. We also will be needed as witnesses. I have…no desire to return to Vulcan at this time. There will be…so many questions. We have a mission waiting for us. Tolaris is not likely again to encounter someone he can victimize. Perhaps he will come to realize his mistake.”



Despite his aching for revenge, Archer knew how T’Pol was feeling. She was such a private person. So much of herself was already revealed in an unwanted encounter. That she did not wish to return to Vulcan and explain the situation was understandable. That Tolaris would walk free was agonizing. In his mind, a strategy grew. Perhaps she was right this time. The best thing to do was to let Tolaris and the others go. There was one thing however. He would damn sure make certain that Tolaris learned a lesson…

“T’Pol…I don’t like this, but I will abide by your choice. You’re right. We do have a mission and I need my science officer for that. You get better. I’ll tend to Tolaris.”

Their eyes met again. He saw her face relax a little. “Thank you, Jon.”

“Rest now, T’Pol. I’ll take care of everything. I’ll be back tonight to look in on you.”

She nodded in consent, lying back in the bed and closing her eyes one last time before falling into a much-needed sleep. Archer watched her for a moment, then purposefully strode from the room. He needed a phaser…

The End.