Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 11:45 AM KDT
Name:
Daily Yomiuri, Dr. Kate Elwood
Home Page:
http://www.yomiuri.co.jp/newse/20040720wob3.htm
....Of course, goshushosama, okinodoku, and taihen all suffice quite well for native Japanese speakers in situations of bereavement. And perhaps some Japanese people feel that "I'm so sorry to hear that," one of the most common expressions of condolence in spoken English, is a little too close to the way we use "I'm sorry" to cancel appointments, ask favors, or apologize for late replies to e-mail, to carry enough weight in death. That "I'm so sorry" fulfills my condolence needs and taihen desu ne and the others don't, only goes to show which is my native language.
There is often more to condolences than just the initial expression of sympathy, too. My research based on discourse completion tests indicates that Japanese people often additionally use a "future-oriented remark," like genki o dashite kudasai, but no Americans said anything similar to this. Telling a bereaved person to cheer up in English might sound a little callous. On the other hand, the Americans made offers of assistance or expressions of concern much more often than their Japanese counterparts. Some Japanese people have suggested that saying these kinds of things may seem intrusive or insincere in their culture.
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Cultural Conundrums / Please accept my culturally skewed condolences
Kate Elwood /
Dr. Elwood is an associate professor of English and intercultural communication at Waseda University's School of Commerce. She is the author of "Getting Along With Japanese" (Ask, 2001)