Summary: A short piece from one person's POV - a little bit of angst but needed to be written in defense of Janeway - definitely not anti C/7 though. Just explaining without blaming.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, I'm just expressing myself.

"If there is anyone here who believes this marriage should not take place, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Those words haunt me. I can't get them out of my head. I wake up in a cold sweat at times, wondering why I didn't speak. How could this happen? How had we gotten so far apart from one another? It should have been me up there marrying you. The way we always knew it would be if we ever made it back to the Alpha Quadrant - the unspoken promise.

I wanted to get up and shout something, anything, that would stop the marriage, that would make what we had viable once again.

I couldn't do that though. After all, it was my choice. Ultimately, I'm the one who pushed us in this direction. Instead of strengthening the relationship we had built throughout the seven years in the Delta Quadrant, I turned my back and hurt you more than you would ever let me know. But now, I know. I know exactly how you felt.

I'm the one who made it impossible for us to turn back time; I'm the one who made it impossible for us to have a future as more than just friends. And we are still such good friends. I know you will always be there for me, that you will always be a part of my life. I will always value that. My greatest joy and my greatest sadness.

What could I expect? Of course you would seek, and find, love with another. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. You deserve to be loved, to share your life with someone who will always love you. And really, you are the perfect match to one another.

Maybe I should have pushed you more, to make you see that yes, I did want more for you and me. That yes, I loved you. Because I know there was some part of you that loved me. But I was scared too. If I had known we were going to make it back to the Alpha Quadrant that soon, maybe things wouldn't have happened the way they did, maybe I would've stepped up to the plate. But, then again, hindsight is a beautiful thing.

And I don't just feel this way because Seven left me for Axum. I always knew she loved him and that if they ever found a way to be together, that they would be. I'm glad she's happy and I don't regret the love we had, even if it was short-lived. I loved her, but she always knew a part of my heart was with you, Kathryn.

It's kind of laughable really. Even in the Alpha Quadrant, we keep getting our signals crossed. I guess our timing will forever be off.

I wish you all the happiness you deserve Kathryn. Jean-Luc is a very lucky man.

THE END