Unions
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager and its characters--they must---if I did, Chakotay NEVER would've ended up w/ Seven.
Summary: Chakotay is determined to stop Kathryn from entering into a loveless marriage.
Archive? Sure
Tracy (enchantedmoons)
NOTE: In my little mental Voyager universe, Kathryn Janeway always has long hair that's twisted on either side into a long ponytail. I don't know what season that really was, but because I love her that way, that's how she looks here---even though it's season 7. Just so you know it's not a typo. LOL


"I don't understand, Kathryn. Why are you so determined to go through with this?" Chakotay's tattoo rose as his eyebrow met his hairline.

She turned from her replicator and moved back to her desk, taking a seat-trying to look anywhere but into her best friend's eyes.

"Chakotay, must you question every decision I make? You're my first officer, you're supposed to trust me."

He smiled vaguely and took a seat opposite from her. "And I do. At least with practical things. However, this isn't a practical decision, is it?"

She glanced up from her coffee mug and frowned. "It's as much practical as it is emotional, Chakotay. You know that. Will Riggins is everything that I could want in a husband. He will be an excellent father for my future children, not to mention a partner I can count on. What's wrong with my marrying him?"

His heart knocked loudly against his ribcage because the words he wanted to say were suddenly in his throat, and he knew that he couldn't utter them even at phaser-point. "There's nothing wrong with your marrying, Kathryn. Will is as good a man as anyone else, I suppose. But don't you want more than that out of a lifetime relationship? Can you really spend your entire life with this man, knowing that you don't....love him?"

He trailed off, looked away from her, and felt seven years worth of emotion well up in his heart. His eyes were dry, but inwardly, they were awash in tears. Tears he could never let show.

Meanwhile, she was oblivious, staring up at the ceiling as she pondered his words. "I know what you're getting at, Chakotay, and don't think I haven't thought of it. But I've made my decision, and I'm standing by it. Will may not be the great love of my life, but he's a good friend and a good man. He suits me, Chakotay. Can you understand that?"

Actually, he couldn't. Moving out of his chair, he began to pace the ready room, so filled with tension and fear that it was hard to breathe. A head of steam seemed to rise from his fast-pacing shoes and his face turned hard with worry and anger. Finally, he was past caring, past holding back his feelings. In one fell swoop, he let her have it.

He grabbed the back of his chair and leaned into it, stormy black eyes searing into hers. "I can't believe you're going to do this. For years you've refused to have a relationship with me because of "protocol" or because it would be "improper". But now, you're willing to bind yourself for life to a man that you've known only as a distant uniform in the corridor---a friendly face that might be familiar--that's it. With me, you're not willing to go beyond friendship, but you'll marry and make love to a man who's a virtual stranger? I just don't get you."

The timber of his voice nearly shook her desk it vibrated so deeply. And it shook Kathryn as well. Her eyes never left his face as he spoke, and now they were filled with glimmering tears, falling one by one down her cheeks as she
attempted to reign in her emotions.

"Damn it, Chakotay. Don't make this harder than it has to be. Don't question my feelings or my motives. It's none of your concern."

"None of my concern? None of my concern? I've only been your friend for seven years. I've only saved your life numerous times. I've only gotten your back when the chips were down more times than I can count. And I've only loved you from afar since the first moment I held you in my arms. God dammit I love you, Kathryn! Do you
understand? I love you. With all of my spirt, all of my being. I always have. But I've held back out of respect for you and your position aboard this ship. Well no more."

Storming around the back of her desk, he grabbed her and yanked her abruptly out of her chair. Then in one single move he pulled her into his arms and kissed her with a wild, possesive passion that stunned them both. His hands pulled her hair out of its bun, sending it falling down her shoulders like a wild, honey-colored stream of water. "You are so beautiful....I love you...I love you so much Kathryn."

"Gods, Chakotay. What are we doing?"

"I think you know what we're doing," he murmured, smiling gently.

"Yes, I know what we're doing. What I don't know is why."

"Because we love each other, that's why. You do love me, don't you?"

She stared at him; hazel eyes still glistening with tears. Her voice caught as she tried to speak and she was two seconds away from bursting into full-fledged sobs.

"Of course I love you. I always have. And that, Chakotay, is the point. Do you know how many times I've nearly lost you on away missions? How many times I've stood by your side in sickbay, praying that you would live? Do you know what it would do to me if something happened to you and I had to live with the knowledge that as your
Captain, I was responsible for sending you to your death? You ask too much of me, Chakotay. I'm sorry."

Pulling away, she dropped back into her chair and held her face in her hands.

He moved towards her, knelt down in front of her, and brushed her arm softly. "I know, Kathryn. Don't you think I've felt the same feelings? To see the woman I love come close to death so many times? Every time it happens I feel responsible. And every time it happens, it kills me. But, Kathryn, don't you see? If we already feel that way about each other, then being in a committed, romantic relationship isn't going to change anything. If we love each other,
we might as well be together---we're already bonded in our hearts, aren't we?"

She wiped her eyes and nodded gently, awareness filling her eyes. "I suppose you're right, Chakotay. I've been a coward, haven't I?"

"No. You could never be that. Let's say cautious, hmmm?"

They smiled at each other and then she went into his arms for a hug. "I do love you. So very much."

"And what about your husband-to-be?"

She gave him a rueful smile. "Well, I think I'd better tell him that the wedding is off. It seems I've fallen in love with another man. It just wouldn't be fair to tie Will down now, would it?"

He grinned, then took her face in his hands and gave her a meltingly hot kiss. When they finally came up for air, he locked his eyes onto hers and whispered, "Since you're officially on the market again, Captain, will you go out with me?"

She chuckled and caressed his cheek. "I'll do better than that. What do you say we get married? After all, we wouldn't want the minister, the food, and the guests to go to waste....now would we?"

Chakotay felt his heart rocket out of his chest and he smiled so widely it nearly split his handsome face. "I say, I'll be there."

"Then so will I. Always."

They hugged, and he knew that she'd made a giant step away from her fears and into a commitment they'd both longed for.

Now if he could just talk her into having his children.......