FUNNY NEWSPAPER HEADLINES 2
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us: Holland SentinalMan shoots neighbor with machete: The Miami Herald,
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut: NY Times
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find: LA Times'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories: Huntington Herald-Dispatch
Alcohol ads promote drinking: The Hartford Courant
Malls try to attract shoppers: The Baltimore SunOfficial: Only rain will cure drought: The Herald-News,
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men: Sunday Oregonian
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty: Newsday
Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies: LA Times
Scientists see quakes in L.A. future: The Oregonian,
Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning: Buffalo
Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold: Lexington
Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer: Fort Lauderdale
Economist uses theory to explain economy: Collinsville
March Planned For Next August
Blind Bishop Appointed To See
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip
L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through
Latin Course To Be Canceled--No Interest Among Students, Et Al
Diaper Market Bottoms Out
Croupiers On Strike--Management: "No Big Deal"
Stadium Air Conditioning Fails--Fans Protest
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin in 10 Years
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
War Dims Hope For Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Stud Tires Out
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles on Falkland islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herbes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Dear Kill 17,000
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Jerk Injures Neck, Wins Award: Buffalo News
Animal Rights Group To Hold Meeting At Steakhouse
Lack Of Brains Hinders ResearchHigh Speed Train Could Reach Valley In Five Years
Two Convicts Evade Noose; Jury Hung
Marijuana Issue Sent To Joint CommitteeCheck With The Doctor Before Getting Sick
Seek Help, Confide In Spouse Before Embarking On Affair
Chinese Diver Wins One-Metre Event; Mates On CarpetMan Found Dead In Cemetery
Missouri Gas Chamber Is Unsafe
Hitler Used To Sell Potato ChipsMicrosoft Accuses Federal Judge Of Being Impartial
Lucky Girl Sees Friend DieRest Of The Year May Not Follow January'
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing