Trivia 8 Edition
WHAT DOES A TEACHER MAKE?
The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education.
He argued:
"What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided
his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminded the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about teachers: "Those who can do. Those who can't teach."
To corroborate, he said to another guest: "You're a teacher, Susan," he said. "Be honest. What do you make?"
Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness, replied, "You want to know what I make?" "I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face if the student did not do his or her very best."
"I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence."
"I can make parents tremble in fear when I call home"
"You want to know what
I make?"
"I make kids wonder."
"I make them question."
"I make them criticize."
"I make them apologize
and mean it."
"I make them write."
"I make them read, read,
read."
"I make them spell definitely
beautiful, definitely beautiful, and definitely beautiful over and over
and over again, until they will never misspell either one of those words
again."
"I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in English."
"I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart... and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you pay them no attention."
"You want to know what
I make?" "I make a difference." "What about you?"
Ever wonder what is behind the locked door in computer lab #3?
HOW GOVERNMENT WORKS!
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard
in the middle of a
desert. Congress said, "someone may steal from it
at night." So they
created a night watchman position and hired a person
for the job.
Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job
without
instruction?" So they created a planning department
and hired two people,
one person to write the instructions, and one person
to do time studies.
Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman
is doing the
tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control
department and hired
two people. One to do the studies and one to write
the reports.
Then Congress said, "How are these people going to
get paid?" So they
created the following positions, a time keeper, and
a payroll officer,
then hired two people.
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all
of these people?" So
they created an administrative section and hired three
people, an
Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer,
and a Legal
Secretary.
Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation
for one year
and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall
cost."
So they laid off the night watchman.
Maritime Engineering Project
Out for Dinner Mathematics
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST
It takes less than a minute....... Work this out as
you read.
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked
it out!
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that
you would like to have dinner out.
(try for more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)
3. Add 5. (for Sunday)
4. Multiply it by 50 - I'll wait while you get the calculator................
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1752.... If you haven't, add 1751..........
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number ...
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have eat out each week.)
The next two numbers are .........
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it IS!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2002) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO
SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE
IT LASTS. IMPRESSIVE, ISN'T IT? Have a nice day.
TELEPHONE SOLICITORS AND JUNK MAIL
I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone solicitors weren't able to call people at home during the dinner hour. But that doesn't make it any more pleasant.
Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed "Three Little Words" based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation that would stop the nuisance for all time.
The three little words are "Hold on, please."
Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately would make each telemarketing call so time consuming those boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone company's beep beep beep tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.
When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, include them with the payment. Let them throw the stuff away. Think globally; act locally.
When you get those pre-approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that, most of them come with postage paid return envelopes, right? Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes! Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express, or a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their application back! Just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can send it back empty if you want, just to keep 'em guessing! Let's turn this e-mail into a chain letter! Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting all their junk back in the mail. Let's let them know what it's like to get junk mail, and best of all...THEY'RE paying for it! Twice! Let's support our postal service. They say e-mail is cutting into their business and that's why they need to keep increasing postage. We can help!
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