DARLING, DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN THIS?
Date: 14th February
Taking flight on silver wings from Santiago, we took our first flight over the Andes mountain range. An impressive table of snow-flecked rock, with rivers cutting their way between mountains, creating valleys and places for hidden communities. Thoughts of the film "Alive" sprang to mind briefly.
And then, after a stop-off in Sao Paolo to pick up fuel and more passengers, we arrived in the heat of Rio de Janeiro, home of beautiful women, famous beaches and the world's biggest and bestest Carnival.
First thing to do - find somewhere to stay, and then figure out if we're going to stay in Rio, or take the journey up north to Salvador.
The option of going north to Salvador quickly flew out of the window when we discovered that a)its a 26hr bus ride up there, b)it costs about US$65-70 EACH WAY to get there, and c)our brasilian contact, who had hinted that maybe we could sleep on their floor in Salvador went strangely quiet just before we arrived in Rio. Hmm ... So, we stayed in Rio, and how could we be disappointed? I mean, its RIO for flips sake!
And here's what I remember doing: drinking caiparinhas, falling into bed, eating good food at "pay by the kilo" buffets, drinking caiparinhas, falling into bed, eating good food, dancing in the street with a caiparinha or 4, falling into bed, dancing, drinking, eating, sleeping, dressing up as a woman, drinking, sleeping, eating, drinking, blacking out, sleeping, sleeping, eating.
Arriving at the resting point, one street FULL of people, with music blaring from a bar in one of the shops, we pushed through the mainly gay crowd to get to a spot where we could all stand together; and pushing through the crowd, well, I mean ... I say! Young Man! Where are you putting your hands as I squeeze through your group of friends ...? Oh there ... ? That's a very ... Well, as we're on holiday, and I don't have any choice, go on then ...
That street party went on for a couple of hours, until about midnight or so. In the centre of the city of we went to some of the bigger street parties, which go on until the wee hours, and you can drink Caip's or CaipaVodkas (neat vodka with some lemon thrown in) for about US $1. Its fair to say we got absolutely geeshed most nights. That's why, after 10 days I fled back to Santiago on my own (through the worst turbulence and lightning storm ever, thankyou weather; I am now terrified of flying).
We did make it the to the main Carnival in the Sambadrome too .. that's where we went dressed as women, expecting, you know, everyone else to be dressed up real wacky like. So imagine our surprise when, arriving looking like the Nightmare Spice Girls, we found everyone goes to the Sambadrome ... with their families, dressed absolutely normally. Hurrah! At least we were the only ones getting eyed up though - no competition! Marvellous. Ahem.
So, the Sambadrome - I know you're probably thinking its some sort of stadium, right? its actually a road through the city, especially constructed for the Big Parades - the once asphalt-road is coated with a white layer to keep it shiny, reflective, 'clean-looking' and to provide a good backdrop for the Parades. And wow, the parades ...
Starting at about 9pm, each parade lasts about an hour, and the last parade arrives at the end of the Sambadrome at about 7am the next morning ... this thing goes on ALL night!
And that's Rio in Carnival - a party everywhere, a drink stand at every corner, a wild costume on every street, a place to dance everywhere except the Main Parade, and they sell great food in buffet restaurants where you pay by the kilo. Wow.
Well after the chaos and carnage of CARNIVAL in RIO, it was time to pick ourselves up, wipe of the lippy and eye liner and get back into touristy mode.
Astro packed his bags and flew back to Santiago for some well earned R&R, Jackal and Gonzo headed up the funicular railway to introduce ourselves to Christ the Redeemer on top of Corcovado and to see stunning views over Rio, and I went up Sugar Loaf mountain pretending to be Roger Moore in Moonraker fighting the evil Jaws in a breathtaking cable car chase.
Carlos then headed back to Santiago to sort out visa applications and insurance claims, and I stayed on in Brazil where I joined Sandra and Joanna on a bit of an epic bus ride to the three border point of Brazil, Paraguay and Argentina where we would witness the impressive siight of Iguassu.
I was very much in two minds about doing this, purely and simply because of the 48 hour round bus trip I would have to face. Before commiting to a ticket, I had to be sure of at least sufficient legroom not to induce deep vein thrombosis. Naturally all the companies ensured me that their buses contained adequate legroom for someone with my height. Hmmmmmm. We plunged for Pluma buses, bought our tickets and headed off for Foz de Iguassu, which are billed as the most impressive set of waterfalls in the world. (Film Fact: This is where the film The Mission was filmed)
We were not dissapointed. After the mammoth journey, which was not at all uncomfortable (though due to the lack of sleep during Carnival, I could have slept comfortably anywhere) - we booked into the local Youth Hostel and headed the next day to the waterfalls.
You need two days to get a good impression of the size and scale of the falls. One view is from the Argentinian side. Here you get close up to the falls and get very wet. There are not just one set of falls, but a whole series of falls ranging from small, to large, to huge, to massive to The Devils Throat.......
The second view is from the Brazilian side, where you get an overall panoramic view of the falls.
On day one we crossed the border into Argentina, and arrived at the park shortly after 9am. We spent the first hour on a boat trip, arriving right underneath the falls.......and getting soaked......and then spent the next 8 hours wandering around the paths to get the best views of the vast set of falls, and taking photo after photo of water falling off cliffs......
It was surprising how touristy it was, and that was slightly dissapointing. You are constantly following fat American tourists with their fat American dollars on the trails, but due to the sheer size and scale of the falls that did not distract us too much.
On day two we approached the falls from the Brazilian side and spent an afternoon taking even more pictures of water falling off cliffs and getting a much more beautiful perspective of the falls.
It would be very easy to spend days just gazing at the enormity and power of the falls (Statto: 1.2 million litres per second of water). It was certainly worth the pain of the return bus trip which was not as comfortable as the initial leg of the journey.....
Back to Rio after that to catch my flight back to Santiago, and to rejoin the boys......how we had all missed each other after 7 days of absense......no really!!!!
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Text by:Astro
Accommodation, surprisingly, was easy to find, and a snip at US$10/night (this after paying from US$1-4 throughout most of Central and South America). We changed after one night to another better hotel, where we could all get a bed each (instead of Gonzo sleeping on a mattress on the floor), and had to pay US$12 for the privilege. Still, cheaper than the US$25-35 we had heard about.
That's about it. What? Oh, you want to hear about the costumes? And what the parties were like? And the people ... OK, here goes ...
God, we're beautiful.
So, what does one actually DO in Rio during Carnival? Well, the whole city turns into a giant party. Every day for about 2 weeks there are about 6 official street parties (and then a shed-load of unofficial ones). These basically consist of a truck with a Samba-dancin'-lady on top, and a Samba band in front, slowly cruisin' a set route through an area of Rio, with a load of merrymakers following, dancing and whooping and drinking.
At some of the parties, there are themes. The best one we went to was the Gay Parade - it took us about an hour to find it due to the amazing sound-insulative properties of the buildings there, but eventually we stumbled onto a huge parade of men and men-as-women and women-who-used-to-be-men, and floats with Samba music, which we followed for a while. We also met up with Chris (from the Inca Trail) there, and took in a few Caiparinhas before re-joining the parade, where it had stopped to party for the rest of the night ... and herein lies a funny story, probably of more interest to the lads (sorry gals!)
When we reached a quiet spot, we all looked at each other and went "did you get felt up by .. ?" "did you get your arse felt .. ?". Quite an experience, I should say. Except for poor Gordy. Poor Gordy. He looked at us forlornly, and said "I didn't get felt up once!". We weren't sure if he was happy or sad about that. But, later on, he came back with a smile on his face, as he'd had his ass pinched when he went looking for a good place to 'drain the dragon'. Bless.
Each parade is composed of a main float, hyper-decorated to look like, well, anything - a rainforest, a pinball machine, an undersea environment, a fabulous ballroom ... whatever the imagination allows. Each float is festooned with Samba Dancers, wiggling their tummies and asses to the beat of the constant music. And following and leading the float, squadrons of Samba Dancers, dressed in outlandish, wild, gauche, colourful, sparkling, glittering, twirling, flouncy, twinkling, ballooning costumes, which they spin and dance in, creating a chaotic kaleidoscope of colour to the eye. Its quite a sight. They even had a jet-man this year (who we missed, because we left at about 2am, wanting to dance - that's the only bad thing about the Sambadrome: you're kept in stands, like at a football match, lining the side of the road, balanced on cocnrete benches rising up above the 'drome, and you have no room to dance. So we left).
Date: 13th March
Text by:El Gordo
IGUAZU FALLS (and non-Carnival celebrations in Rio)
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