Think we'll start by leaving Belice (Belize to us English speakers). The bus from San Ignacio left around 7.30am, so it was an early rise for our young adventurers.

It's only about 15mins to the border at which point you have to get off the bus, tramp to customs (paying the $27 exit fee ... grrrrr!!) and getting the right stamps (then paying the $7 conservation fee ... fair enuff) before walking to the next customs in Guatamala, about 20 yards away.

This place was totally mad, with locals all crammed into a small oficina, shouting away, at the one and only customs official working that day, and then us pushing our way to the front as we're damned special and deserve better treatment (heehee!). Which we finally got, for an extra $5 US!! Walking out of customs is an experience in itself. As it was a Sunday and no banks are open, you have to haggle with local "currency dealers" (ahem) for your Guatamalan Quetzales and then avoid the hundreds of taxi drivers offering their services at vastly increased rates, "especially for you, my friend!".

Having successfully gotten through this jungle, we were on our way to the jungle, but needed a bus to El Cruce. It being sunday, there was just the local chicken buses ... old and retired American yellow school buses, with no suspension, no padding left in the seats and no room except for standing in the minute space between the seats! Oh, how Gordon loved the next 2 hours to El Cruce!

The scenery is a complete change from Belize, with mountains rising up around you and vast rainforests covering them. Tiny villages dot the road with small children running naked between wooden huts, much like those in the Yucatan.

We arrived at El Cruce (a crossroads in the middle of nowhere) and get off the bus, only to find the next bus to Tikal, "might" turn up sometime soon. So the adventure begins with us flagging down all sorts of farming pick-up trucks for a ride 35km north into the rainforest! It took about 20mins but we convinced a local farmer to give us a ride on his way to Tikal.

He then proceeded to stop in every village on the way, picking up huge amounts of ice, wood for fuel and vegetables and slinging them in the back on top of us. It was really cool!

At the border of the national park of Tikal, we had to get out and pay the Q50 and lose our ride. Not a bad saving though, from about Q200 to Q5 for the run to the forest. Only now our problem is we have no bus, no truck, no farmers and still have 18km to the ruins and our hotel!

It was just about looking like a long walk, when the police arrived and offered us a ride! Marvellous! And the Lonely Planet tells you to avoid these wonderful human beings like a plague, as they might take all the money you have. Tsk tsk Lonely Planet. Ye of little faith.

So after a windy 35km in the back of pick-ups we arrive at the hotel complex (complex is a little fancy a word!) at the edge of the ruins. Of course it being a rainforest, it's bloody hot, full of mosquitoes, and it's wet. About every 30mins we get rain, which is actually a welcome relief as the temperature drops by about 5C!

As we're typical poor travellers, we head to the only hotel with hammock space and sling up the hammocks, under a thatch roof, next to the jungle, with no rooves, no protection from the weather, but more importantly (especially when attempting to sleep later on!) no protection from anything wandering in from the jungle (or silvestre, right Boz??).

We then headed for the ruins, which is where I have to leave it as the clock has run out!

Hasta Luego Amigos!

Jackal

Does anyone think I look like moviestar Edward Norton? Only we met an Israeli guy when we were horseriding in Mexico, and he thought I looked just like him. I've only just remembered. I also recommend that you check out this page and think of Jackal ..

So where were we ... ahh ... in the steamy rainforest wandering around Tikal ...

This place is just hyoooj, with a capital HYOOOOJ. I think it covers about 88sqkm, and we covered every last sqcm of it ...er, when we looked at in the guide book that is; but wandering around, I think we covered most of the temples, of which more later. So what's it like being deep in the rainforest, wandering around old Mayan ruins?

Let's see .. to enter the 'temple area' in Tikal, you walk up a long cleared path (just mud, no tarmacadam here thankyou), past trees with Toucans in, whittering away in their Toucan Talk - something like "nessss ... aguinn ..... " I think, sorry - I'm no Dr DooLittle; besides which, Gonzo's the one who talks to all the birds over here. Fnarr!

Up the path then, and after about 100m, the rainforest, which is cleared from the parking and hotel area, just starts. No pre-amble, no "let's chuck a few bushes and ferns in to make it look Homebase-Tropical Stylee", it just starts. Hyowj trees towering 10-15 metres above you, draped with liana-vines that you can swing off, if you're a bit of a swinger. Looking left and right, all you see are vertical brown lines of tree trunks and horizontal / diagonal green lines of leaves, with amazing shafts of sunlight piercing through the dusty gloom under the canopy, causing the ferns on the forest floor to incandesce green. Mmm, nice.

Just standing on a path, with the clay-white rock beneath your feet, and staying quiet is enough to experience the wildlife that is all around you. Birds flit from branch to branch, some brown with verdant green underbellies, red-capped Mannequins with their jet black bodies and Inquisition-red heads hop down to branches from the canopy, rusty woodcreepers walk up the sides of treetrunks, picking grubs and bugs from the bark. Sometimes, if you're lucky, and don't make too much noise, families of spider monkeys swing through the tree roofs, crashing through the vegetation; from above it must seem like there are millions of bugs crawling through the carpet of forest that covers this land.

Back to the adventures then ... we walked up the entrance pathway, to the main entrance to the temple complexes (just another cleared path between the solid wall of forest), and took a right up to the northeastern side of the site. After 5 minutes walking, we got to a small temple, about 8m high, built from huge stone blocks with a 'stela' (I think) in front of it - a huge slab of gravestone-shaped rock with Mayan art carved into it.

Looking to a cleared area of grass to our left, there was the funniest, most Henson-esque animal we had ever seen, the Pizote. Imagine a cat, colour it brick red, lengthen the tail from 25cm to about 45cm, reduce the ears to cute little nubs, and extend the snout into ant-eater shape. There's your Pizote. These muy curioso little animals abound over the site, and aren't afraid to go through your bags if you leave them unattended, take out the food, and snaffle off with it.

A bit further on along the path, we passed a large earth mound to the side, which being explorers we climbed, Spiderman-style due to the soft wet earth from which it was made. We found out later that these large mounds, which litter the site, actually contain buildings and temples that haven't been excavated - the whole site, when it was discovered by heapbigwhiteman in the early 1900s (?) was basically just mounds of earth with trees growing out of them. A trip to the museum shows how the trees were stripped away, the earth cleared off, the stones cleaned down, and then ever since, the temples restored to how they looked at the height of the Mayan occupation of the site, about 1000 years ago, when King Two-Combs ruled.

After that things just got better and better.

At one point, whilst me 'n the Jackal were exploring an out-of-the-way ruin, Jackal heard a swoopyflap sound, and looking 'round saw a Grey Hawk sitting on a tree stump just 3m away from him. Quick as a flash, out came the camera, and the Jackal advanced slowly on the Hawk, as it ripped strips of flesh from its carrionmeal. I had to tell him to stop walking forward, as he was so intent on getting a damnfinephoto that he nearly fell off the temple! Had much fun that night talking with 2 French bird watchers, who had come to Guatemala just to watch birds, with their masseeeef books and binoculars; when told that we had seen the hawk, and having described it and pointed it out in their book, they told us that we couldn't possibly have seen it, as its very rare, and they hadn't seen it ever; "eet moost be a commoon roadsiiide 'awk" dicieron. Mais non! the photos were developed and we were rarebirdhunters extraordinaire!

Back to the adventures ... The path takes you through to the Temple of the Jaguar where there are 4 temples arranged around a central square. Climbing up one of them, and looking out over the site, Jackal waved to me one layer lower down to indicate that between us, edging nervously across the stone, was a small grey fox, tasting the air in both our directions, to see if we were going to be a threat.

If you follow the map on the Tikal link above, we wandered up to Mundo Perdido (The Lost World), where a Japanese camera crew were filming, and then onto Temple IV, which is the steepest temple in the eeehntiiiire world, and has to have a special wooden staircase zigzag its side so that you get to the top. And at the top, when you've got your breath back ...

HERE I HAVE TO TAKE A NERD MOMENT

Its the view from Star Wars ep. IV, when the Millenium Falcon comes into the hidden Rebel Base, on the moon of Yavin IV (about 1h30m into the film), and which you see again when the fleets of X-Wing and Y-Wing fighters blast off to take on the might of the Imperial Fleet and the original Death Star.

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME. I HAVE BEEN IN STAR WARS.

Eeexxxxccceeeeeeellleeeeeeennnnttttttttt !!!

Having exhausted ourselves for the day, we decided to return to camp. And then it started to rain, whilst we were on top of Temple IV. Oh boy did it rain. The rain greases through the air, and flails across the forest. And then stops. And the clouds part, and water vapour dances back into the sky. Cool. We wended down the wooden steps, and started walking back through the rainforest, when Tlaloc, the Mayan raingod, decided to make a return visit, and show us what rainforest means, and in style. We sheltered under a small rest area, and watched the rain disperse the air around it, a forest of rain, annoyed by the presence of trees, which with upturned leaves, drank in the raingod, and returned him to the earth. All of which makes no difference to the drenched tourist, surrounded on all sides by growing lakes of mudwater, and runnels of babyrivers streaming down the slippery paths to the exits.

Eventually we made it back to the Jaguar Inn where we were staying, dried out, played a quick game of Trivial Pursuit ("ayyyeee ... will we have a wee game of TeePeeee?"), met a German lass called Katta, and then at the ever-so-late time of 2130, retired to our hammocks, pulled the mosquito nets over us, and proceeded to get about 1hr sleep througout the entire night.

Sleeping in the rainforest, and the art of:

The HitchHikers Guide to the Earth should have this to say about sleeping in the rainforest: FORGET IT.

First off, there's a wall of sound all around you - crickets chirping and tree frogs making their highpitched trilling. Then there's the night sounds of other animals (what they are is anyone's guess) off to the left, then over to the right, then seemingly underneath your bottom. And then at 0200, just when you've fallen asleep is the loudest, crashiest, scariest whatthehellwasthatandwhereisgoingnext noise. I almost had an accident. For about 45 minutes, I lay in my hammock, too scared to sleep, too scared to open my eyes. Ahhhhh, this is adventuring!

To cap off the visit, we arose at 0430, stinking of day old sweat and fear, and trooped through the creeping blue of the approaching sunlight, got to the top of Temple IV, and watch the massive clouds covering the eastern horizon turn pink as the obscured sun rose behind them. Oh well. At about 0630, the clouds cleared and the sun coruscated the forest canopy with heat, and we watched wraiths of water vapour shimmying, shifting and wiggling out of the trees, curl in the air, and drift off with the light breeze. Absolutely magical.

The rest of that day, Monday, we wandered around the site, climbing ruins, exploring doorways and tunnels, and then at 1600 made our way to one of the region's hub towns, Flores, and then caught the night bus to Guatemala City. The bus was too humid, uncomfortable and smelly to describe, but it was cheaper than the alternative posh executive class bus. We took the first Chicken Bus out of Guatemala City (which is a dump) to Antigua, where we are now. More on this later, I think you've all had enough of me for now! Suffice to say that at the moment we are getting our brains melted by intensive Spanish courses.

Now ... time for feedback. Send messages to the message board, and tell us what you want to hear more about. Life on the road?, the people that live here? The people we meet? The food? The buildings, smells, sights, sounds .... let us know, and we'll destroy the english language by attempting to describe it!

hasta pronto ...

Just been studying my Spanish and my head is buzzing with verbos irregulares. I wish these spanish peeps would make up their mind on how they want to end their verbs! I mean, for goodness sake, it's not like English is very difficult to learn is it?!

Well, after a very long and uncomfortable journey all the way from Tikal, via Flores/Santa Elena and Guatamala City, we found ourselves in lovely Antigua.

NOTE: The bus was THE most uncomfortable so far. 9 hours of painful squirming in the smallest seat shared by at least 2 other locals attempting to squeeze you out of it! It was smelly, sweaty, greezy, packed and took far too long. NO longer will we complain about the buses in good ol' Blightey! [Editor's Note: I remember that we all sat at the back of this bus - Astro on the right hand side of the back seat, wedged against a terrified looking 8yr old boy, and Carlos on the left hand side of the back seat, vacuum-formed in against a square Indian lady, who had the entire contents of whatever house she lived in squashed around her and on Carlos. Gordy sat on the aisle seat, one row in front of us, left hand side, with no leg room, and poor chap, with a small boy sleeping under the space his legs made under him. A journey that will stay with us for many years I think.]

Antigua is a like a lost remnant of colonial Spain, 1780s stylee! All the buildings are painted in bright colours, designed with courtyards, they're all maximum 2 stories and the whole town is surrounded by 3 volcanoes and forests. Excellent! And as a bonus it's one of the safest places in Guatamala, probably due to the fact most of the population seems to be Scandinavian or American!

(As requested by Missy Helly:) Graeme immediately suffered more discomfort after me and Gordy fell asleep on the first night, with very painful stomach cramps and the squits. I did have some sympathy for him, all wrapped up in bed whilst we headed out into the city, especially when 2 days later I got the very same! Oh, how my ring stung by yesterday night and the 9 visits to the loo! Seems to be scaling down now though. Must admit I bore them with much more grace than Graeme, still managing to go out all day (often pallid-faced), with frequent runs, literally in every sense, to the local toilets and not lie "maughning" in bed! Heehee! [Editor's note: it was later discovered that Graeme was having a serious reaction to his Malaria prophylactics, on top of the usual food poisoning]

Heading off now to do my muchos tareas (lots of homework). Later guys

Hola! Algunas frases para mis amigos que pueden leer espa$BP(Bl, $B%=(Bclaro?
Pues, los dos d$B{B(Bs pasado, han estudiado mucho. Nuestra cerebros son lleno con muchos Espa$BP(Bl. Yo aprend$B!&(Blos tiempos preterito, futuro y imperfect, e habl$B!&(Bmucho con mi maestra. Esta noche, escribir$B!&(Buna p$BcH(Bina sobre la historia de Tigger (de la Pelicula de Tigger). Despues de la tarea, ir$B!&(Bal bar se llama "Locomono", y yo tomar$B!&(Buna cerveza. $B%=(BEsta todo claro?
Hasta mas tarde, mis amigos ...

Things to thankful for this week:

• Well, as far as we can tell, the Taliban have crumbled. But then we only get to see CNN America Strikes Back so whataweknow, capiche?
  
• That, when walking through an idyllic lakeside mountain estate of coffee beans and avocado trees, follwing a pan-pipe playing drop-out Mexican guide called Hector, you don't get thwacked in the left eye by an avocado branch, that then makes your eye stream for two days, closes it up, and then makes you feel like a) an albino pirate, due to the eye patch you gotta wear, and b) a boxer wiv a masseeff shiner, innit?
  
• That, with said eye forced halfway back to the optic centre at the back of your cerebellum, you don't also have a cold that has made your sinuses swell up, and is exerting back pressure on said oracular device
  
• That, that very same night as you are not getting any sleep because your eye it 'urts too much, you then realise at 0200 that the funny feeling in your stomach, the cold clammy sweat and the excessive salivation in your mouth are actually preludes to several more trips to los ba$BP(Bs where you aren't sure which end to place over God's Big White Telephone first, and when you decide on one, you desperately hope that that end finishes first, before the other end demands exuding satisfaction.
  
• THAT YOU AREN'T ME!

Can I stop being ill now please? No me gusta! Look, whoever's got the little voodoo doll, or has the evil eye pointed at me, or bought a little ju-ju last time they went to New Orleans, its very funny, and you've had a great laugh, and really, I see the funny side, but just for one week, I'd like to not be ill .. please?

So .. enough "maughning" about my health... what we been upto?

After serious abuse of our learning capacities at Spanish school, at which we all excelled with flying colours, we celebrated with a few cervezas and (en Espa$BP(Bl) some gintonicas, we nursed some dehydrated bodies into the cultural experience of the Chicken Buses to Lake Atitlan. This large volcanic lake, set in a bowl 1500m into the sky is billed as one of the most beautiful lakes in the world ... and for once, the hype does no justice to the place. Breathtaking.
From our 3rd chicken bus we started descending the mountain top, from the village at the edge of the world, and looked down on a snake, curling across the mountain to the shore, with toy cars and trucks wending their way up it. Oh boy, one momentous view of our road. Pretty cool, huh? Until you see all the crosses and flowers at the edge of the road where previous buses have taken a corner too fast (note to parents and loved ones: we are OK. You can get run over outside your house).

In the distance, the haze of cloud that obscures the horizon starts to shimmer, and shimmyshimmyshimmaaah out of it comes the silver ripples of the great skymirror, Lago de Atitlan. Ringed by darkgreen volcanic mountains, and Volcan San Pedro, the unspoilt coastline of the lake beckons you onward, down the snake, to backpacker-central, Panajachel.
Here, we caught a chicken-boat (!) to the most serene spot on the lake, a tiny secret garden called San Marcos. How do I describe this place? ... Imagine Coventry (I know its painful, but bear with me) .. now take all the people away. Now all the buildings. Now sink the entire area by about 600m. Coat the sides with forests of coffee bean, banana, avocada trees, stick a volcano right about where Birmingham should be, and then, in one sq km of the lake shore, make a secret garden, with secret paths, no lights, and hidden away in the secret garden, down the secret paths, are little secret guest-houses. Amazing. And that's where we stayed for 3 days!

First day we walked the 7 - 9km to the 2nd backpacker town on the lake, San Pedro. Apparently this place used to be THE place to visit, but a multitude of LonelyPlaneters has made the place a concrete shame. We did meet a very nice man called Dave though, who was from Canada, looked like Neil Young with a beard, and who had something of the Mr Kipling about him.
Second day we took an brilliant walk up through las fincas (estates) of avocado and coffee plantations, to a tiny waterfall, nestled in a small crack in the mountain side. Then we went to a small natural pool and ate our lunch - fresh bread and freshly picked avocados. Yum. Then .. then .. we found a treasure map, and we followed this Great Dane that appeared from nowhere, and we got scared by a walking suit of armour, and in a cave we found a box of stolen treasure and and and ... oh sorry ... had a Scooby Doo moment there ... (just for you Al!).

We came back to the ranch, and chilled out the rest of the night. (nb: see "Things to be thankful for" above).

3rd day - well, I was in bed feeling pretty jolly miserable, donchaknow, couldn't even look at an Ambrosia Devon Custard, never mind lashings n lashings of Ginger Beer, so my boys had a quiet day, sat on the dock of the bay, chilling out at the yuppie-escape centre "Las Piramdas", where, in the words of a wise Belgian writer we met (who was expecting Joyce Maynard to turn up the day we left) .. where, "people pay a lot of money to shut up for a month and eat no food". Wise words, mate.

So, a whistle stop tour of the Lake and our time there. We're back in Antigua for a night, before pushing on for the border tomorrow. Honduras or Bust!

All our luuuurrrrve ... hope you enjoy the adventures! Oh, and if you're ever over here, Guatemalan people are just the nicest people you ever didn't meet yet.
Astro