Hey everyone! Well ... we made it. A boring 13 hour flight, and after one day we've still not quite adjusted to the time difference, or the altitude difference (we are 8000 ft / 2500m above sea level).

Weather is great, have seen loads of stuff, and eaten cactus. Promise that we´ll put a better diary entry on soon, just wanted you all to know what we´re safe, alive and ENJOYING IT TO THE MAX.
Hope you´re all having fun in autumnal Britain, and loving the early rise and journey to work every morning. HA HA HA.

# AAAaaacapuuuulllcooo! It's bloody hot here on the Pacific Ocean in Acapulco, home of Elvis, Johnny Weismuller and Elizabeth Taylor. But first ... what have we been doing?

Monday
Leaving Britain as the first bombs flew into Afghanistan, we soared over the Atlantic, 11km high feeling nervous, excited, awed at our escape.
As the plane flew toward Mexico City, the ring of volcanic mountains that circle it smeared themselves out of the distance, and gradually the urban sprawl of the city boiled up into sight. Circling around the mountains, Mexico City rushed into view, and ran to every horizon, a lawn of grey, haze and twinkling lights.

After landing and collecting our bags, we were met off the plane by Our Man in Mexico, Antony Challenger, who we have to give a massive shout out to. He took us, via taxi, to our hostel in Mx City, during which we got to see the incredible driving skills of taxi drivers - they appear to use The Force, as this seems the only sensible explanation for how they negotiated the trucks, cars and buses all speeding along, randomly changing lanes without indicating.

The hostel that Antony had booked us into was amazing - we may as well start in some style, we have the feeling it might go downhill from here. We had the top suite, with a balcony-patio, which looked out onto El Zòcalo (the main square in Mexico City), which is bordered by La Catedral, Palacio Nacional, and Temple Mayor, a recently discovered Aztec Temple. All this within 300m of our hostel.

First night we were all knackered, so we just went out for a beer and bite to eat with Antony (who is a walking library of information on Mx City in exactly the same way that residents of London aren't about their city) to La Opera, and sat in the table below a bullet hole in the ceiling which was left by Pancho Villa in ~1912.

Tuesday
We loaded up on a toast, cornflakes, pink yoghurt and watermelon breakfast at the hostel, then the 3 of us went to explore Temple Mayor, wandering its ruins, and then the museum at the end where all the artefacts are kept - including a massive stone disc decorated with a running figure. Then at 12:30 we met Antony, who took us on a tour of the city.

First stops - La Catedral which is goldily gaudily beautiful in that Catholic style, then El Palacio Nacional, the seat of government, with massive Diego Rivera murals depicting the history of Mexico. This also has a small botanical garden with hummingbirds! Definitely worth a visit.

Went for lunch at La Hosteria de Santo Domingo, the oldest restaurant in Mexico, and had traditional mexican food - cactus! We also had a beautiful dish comprised of a chilli parcel, filled with cheese (minced pork and beef with raisins for the carnivores), smothered with walnut sauce and pomegranate seeds. YUM YUM! After that, we went to El Museo de Bellas Artes (Museum of fine arts), a sumptuous art deco building featuring more murals by Diego Rivera. Excellent.

Next up - the Latin American Tower, the largest in Mx City, where we watched the sun set behind the volcanic mountains. Stunning site .. beautiful colours in the sky (reds, oranges, greens) as the sun's rays refract through the atmosphere and smog. After that we parted with Antony, to whom we all owe a huge debt of thanks.

Wednesday
Left to our own devices, and my basic Spanish course, we successfully negotiated El Metro, got bus tickets, and arrived at the hugely impressive site of Teotihuacan - home of the largest pyramid outside of Cheops in Egypt. This place is outstanding.

You enter via the south entrance, onto the Avenue of the Dead, and straight way you can see the Pyramid of the Sun and Pyramid of the Moon at the northernmost point some 2 - 2.5km away, which dominate the skyline. We spent 2 hours exploring the site in the south, visiting the Temple of Quetzalcóatl the Feathered Serpent God, various adminstrative buildings and other ruins. We all got out of breath climbing the steep steps due to the thin air - well, we are 2500m above sea level. Then it was onto the 2 Pyramids. Nearly died climbing these, thought my lungs were going to collapse! Well worth it though. Views from the top are stunning.

The Pyramids and the whole site were built between 100 - 250 AD by an unknown civilisation, and then taken over by the Aztecs later on. Human sacrifices were made from the top of the 2 pyramids to appease the gods. I imagine they died just form climbing the steps, its a long way up! Obviously I now have legs like tree trunks. Not.

Back to Mx City, and an easy night in the hostel getting pissed on cheap Corona beer. The 3 of us basically livelied up the place, and at the end of the night there was something of a party on our balcony-patio, and I was talking to Chilean people in Spanish! Drunk! Barney - you would have been proud of me.

Currently, we're in Acapulco .. we'll let you know about that later .. all you need to know is this: BEACH, HEAT, WARM PACIFIC OCEAN. How's Britain (he asked smugly)?

Adios for now.

Hey Everyone!! It's my turn on the diary, or so Graeme tells me anyway. Acalpulco ... wow! what a place! We arrived by bus through the mountains between Mexico City and the coast and what a ride that was. Out of Mexico city the slums turn into the local villages you see on the old western movies of Mexico, small shacks, dirt streets, pigs and dogs running wild around the houses with the occasional turkey following behind. Then once into the mountains the scenery is just amazing. The bus winds through the high passes so you can look down through all these craggy valleys and the whole place is covered in vegetation, trees and cactii growing side by side. After about 7 hours of this you turn the final corner and Acapulco bay lies straight ahead.

Got off the bus and was immediately attacked (not literally Ma!) by taxi drivers demanding that they be able to take us anywhere for way too many pesos ... so of course we went along with it and got royally screwed. Doh! The driver then recommeneded a hotel (Hotel Enrique... very central to El Zócalo and the fishing beach, but a wee bit pricey and smelly for my liking) which we of course took, like the virgin travellers we are (actually this should be "were" as we now haggle like locals!). Had a small walk and sat on a huge beach watching the sunset go down over the whole bay (Gordy took some photos). Superb.

First night we saw the "clavadistas" diving from the cliffs at La Quebrada. Idiots, the lot of 'em. If cliffs weren't already scary enough, they climb them, then jump off from 35m over a load of rocks and into a tiny cove where the sea then buffets them around for 5 mins ... in the dark! The last guy dives with flaming torches in his hands, the fool. Highly entertaining though!

Next day we took a bus to the "family beach", which is supposedly cleaner and safer than the others available. The sun was out, the sky was blue and we burnt ourlseves to a crisp in about 3 hours! God was it hot! Good job we only really burnt our shoulders and didn't need to carry heavy rucksacks around for hours on end. Doh! Then climbed La Quebrada and watched another sunset (Gordy took lots of photos cos they're dead arty like). Found out after calling Gordon "El Gordo" for the lst few days that this actually means "the fat one". EXCELLENT! Gordon's new spanish name really suits!

Next day up at 6am to catch the bus to a small-ish resort called Puerto Escondido

¡Hola desde Puerto Escondido!

A brief entry today (oo-er!) ..

We took the bus from Acapulco, 8 hours along the south coast of Mexico, through about 5 military check-points. Got my passport checked at one by a green clad military type young gentleman: he studied my passport v e r y hard before handing it back.

Arrived in Puerto Escondido on Saturday afternoon, and what a place this is! PERFECT beaches for surfing and chilling out in clear seas with golden sands ... way better than the commercial environs of Acapulco (home of an Elvis movie, lest we forget).

We?ve booked into a great little hostel - The Mayflower - for 50 pesos a night each; cheaper than the 65 - 70ps we have been paying. We've just been at the beach for the past 2 days, errr ... because we could!

The heat is incredible here, think it's hovering around 36 - 38C during the day. You have to sit in the shade to survive. After my sunburnt shoulders incident (still recovering) I have been sticking to keeping my man-boobs well and truly covered. Obviously all the guys and gals are very upset about this, but I'm sure they'll learn to cope without my beautiful six-pack ... ahem.

To add baffling injury to pain, I woke up this morning with my lower left leg covered in loads of tiny red bite marks, possibly from ants or sandflies when lying in the sand yesterday. Bloody nature, whoever said that was a good idea?

Today, another day at the beach, watching the surfers play on the waves, the crystal clear waters, the golden sands. In a few hours we take the bus to Oaxaca, arriving at about 0600 on Tuesday. Oaxaca is supposed to be a very cultural city, full of students and buildings and ruins and all that stuff. Til then, mi amigos ..

URGHHHH!! Jumped on the bus from Oaxaca last night and took 12 hours to reach San Cristobal, which lies south in the mountains and the Laceron jungle. It's a wee town of about 60,000 people, either native indians or backpacking tourists! We've already met the Belgians again, on another tour of another city, and another couple who were in our last hostel. Oh the fun of the Lonely Planet trail!

Still very groggy from no sleep in 36 hours, the boys are in bed and its 1pm.

The thin air up here isn't helping much either, we're about 2100m up in the sky and I think we're all suffering from fatigue. So, you'll just have to excuse the bad jokes, mis-spellings and anything else that might offend.

Graeme's been spending time attempting to find amusing spanish translations of our names ... El Gordo has already been explained, but now we have "Turnar", which means "to take turns". Stop laughing Helly!! ... Funny how Maughan can never be turned into anything amusing ... [Editors Note: "Maughan" transcends simple earthly humour young man. One day you'll understand.]

Spent most of our last day in Oaxaca wandering the ruins of Monte Alban, which are about 10km out of the center on the top of a mountain. The ruins are again fanatastic and the views astounding, looking over the whole city of Oaxaca and then the whole valley too. The Plateau is surrounded by high peaks covered in wispy clouds and bright blue skies and the trees inhabited by loads of tiny buzzing hummingbirds. It's really cool. The bus journey in the (yet again!) rickety local coach, up their single lane road with a drop of 1000m on 1 side was not! Not for the faint hearted these buses!

Spent the rest of the evening quaffing ale in preparation for the bus journey, which by all accounts is supposed to be rather hirsute, especially at night, so being drunk was definitely a good idea!

... or so we thought...

Luckily no-one threw up, but the mexican woman next to me didn't like the smell of Graeme/Gordon's feet too much and looked rather green for the first 6 hours. I tried out my Spanish on the poor girl, and after 10 mins had managed to find out she was originally from Veracruz, worked as a typist in an office, was 26 years old, was going to Tuxtla for 4 days for partying and then ran out of words. Oh well.

The final 2 hours form Tuxtla were amazing though. Steep climbs to the top of mountains through the cloud line, to catch glimpses of the peaks around us then scarily plummeting thousands of feet into valleys of rivers and houses inhabited by local indian tribes wearing Chiapan clothes of coarse wool and cotton, just like you see in Oxfam and those "ethnic" shops back home! No words can really describe it properly. Of course, Graeme slept through most of this and thought me jabbing him in the ribs to wake him up was only me attmepting to get more of the seat to myself!

As for plans tomorrow (today is mostly sleeping and recovering), it looks like a 6 hour horsey-ride out to the jungle. I'll have buns of steel by tomorrow night! The ladies'll be chasing me down the calles! hahaha! Then probably trips through the canyons, to the forgotten ruins in Banampek and Yaxchitlan and possibly a 3 day jungle trek. Who knows?!

Hope everyone is enjoying work at home (no, not you Wendy, or the strange swedish guy who copied your message on the board) and is missing our company and humour most tremendously!

Catch you later

Jackal

Crikey ... here we are in the grrrrrrr! rrrrr-rebellious little town of San Cristobal de las Casas. I see our little Chunki Munki has had a go on the diary, although I haven't a clue where he is, as I have been most un-soldierly like, and felt rather faint all morning from the thin air, lack of decent REM-sleep, and food. I know I know, I'm a wuss. Anyway, have had 4 hours kip, and wandered out into town, left El Gordo back at the ranch, chewing cornflakes in his sleep (sorry Ma and Pa Birkett, but our Gordo makes some rather odd noises in his peepie-byes!).

The town here was taken over by rebels a few years ago, which shocked quite a lot of people at the time. It's in the middle of Chiapas state, which is mostly rainforest - some of it, er ... sorry to the geographers if I get this wrong ... I think its called "temperate" rainforest? Anyway, more alpine-y than the jungle as you may think of it.

A bit more info on Oaxaca - it's a large University town, and probably the most 'western' that we've been to, with shops selling musical instruments, trendy clothes shops, small coffee shops, that kind of thing.

All the houses and buildings here in San Crist. are painted in different colours, something that is repeated throughout Mexico. A wide variety of colours - pink top with a black bottom, white, powder blue with a deep blue horizontal split and a deep maroon bottom ... very beautiful. I don't know why more of the cave-owners in Britain don't paint their houses, the country seems so drab in comparison - I am not missing pebble-dash walls or brick red housing estates that bore for miles.

San Cristobal: the town is set out on a grid pattern, with narrow roads running between the building blocks. The roads are made of hexagonal paving stones, the kerbs about 40cm high, and the paths about 75cm wide. Looking down the streets, you see a riot of colours as the buildings slope off into the perspective-distance. There are taxis everywhere, and the drivers 'TOOT' you as they idle past, one arm out of the window, to see if you want to be a lazy gringo and take a taxi instead of walking.

This morning, whilst I was feeling very faint and wooobbly, we sat in the zocalo, and little Chiapan girls, no more than 4 years old, were walking up to us, almost begging us to buy their little wrist bands and necklaces. It breaks your heart to say no gracias continuously to them, as they drop their prices, and then walk off looking dejected, setting their faces in lines that will define the rest of their lives. Maybe you get used to this, and become blase as it happens all the time ... but then that in itself would be even worse, to reject their poverty out-of-hand.

Bloody bleeding heart liberalism, who invented that, eh?

Anyway ... more light hearted things ... tonight we will probably go for food ... don't let Jackal's 'grrr, I'm a carnivore' writing fool you. The other 2 chose to return to the vegi restaurant in Oaxaca, saying they could quite get used to it ... really enjoying it. Mind you, you have to balance that with El Gordo buying what looked for all the world like (and I apologise to the faint-hearted) a dried, cured, Donkey's Willy this morning for breakfast! Comedy food central.

We are going to develop some pics here, and if we find a scanner we will get some proper pics up, rather than the tat we are filling the screen with at the minute.

For now, ¡hasta luego!

p.s. - I have a beard too! HAHAHAAA!! I look like a bohemian poet, duuuuuuuude!!!

Blown the budget today. We went to The Sumidero Canyon, back west about 1.5hrs, near the state capital of Tuxtla.

The Canyon comprises a wide wide chocolate brown river, couched between sheer cliff walls, that at their highest point are 1 km high. The sides of the canyon walls are covered in lush green vegetation, with Los Zipolites (buzzards in English - these are the 'eagles' that we were seeing the other day back west) soaring on thermals, circling, circling, columns of cadaver-hungry birds rising slowly into the blue skies.

Passing down the river, you notice that the walls are pock-marked with the acne of water passing through them, forming small caves, and showing off some Picasso-esque melting, as stalactites advance down from the cave roofs like silicate armies. Something like that anyway.

The boat trip down the river promises views of crocodiles, but the only snappy thing we saw was the boat drivers' hat, as he passed it round at the end of the trip for la propina (the ubiquitous tip).

Still, we did get some amazing photos, which have been developed already (scanner to be found tomorrow and used to full effect guys n gals!). The further reaches of the river, before it is cut off by the hydro-electric dam that powers the state, is crowded with pelicans, which we saw diving for fishies! Fantastic! They fly so close to the water that their downward wing flap just misses the surface.

After the canyon trip, our taxi driver took us to a waterfall, which is now memorable for showing us the first F'ING BIG SPIDER IN MEXICO!! A large green mother of a spider (arana in Spanish, with a wave on the 'n'), it had big angled legs and web-lines that were as thick as your washing lines! EEK!

Tomorrow we are having a chill day, clawing back some of our budget. We are hoping to go for a horsey ride the day after (sorry, I have lost track of the days .. is it Saturday?), I am hoping to use the local Community Tourism service, to be all hippy like, and support the local non-profit, Sustainable Development programme.

For now, we hope you enjoyed your weekends! ¡Hasta Pronto!

Sore arses all round. But more of that later. [Editors' Note: ummm, if you say so Gordy!]

Sunday 21^st October was a budget recuperation day. This entailed putting the boots on and heading off for a walk round San Cristobal to the local market. If you're a vegetarian this is not a place for you. People buy chickens, which are still live but not kicking as their legs are firmly tied together, hanging upside down slung over the sellers' arm. Was a bit cruel, but very normal here. We did not induldge. We mosied around the market place for an hour or so, then Jackal and I went off to try and find the local Grotto of San Cristobal, whilst Graeme went off to do some photograph scanning.

After about an hour of trying to flag down cabs, Collectivos (VW vans with around 20 people crammed in) and almost resorting to hitchhiking, we finally got a lift 10km south of the town to a local forest. What we found we were very impressed with. We paid around 50p (and yes we still tried to haggle, but to no avail - the tight scotsmen that I am) to get into a series of limestone caves which went 3km into the rock. The path led around 1km in, but the stalactites and stalagmites were awesome. We were even clever enough to bring our torches along to get a much better impression. Took some snaps so will try and scan them in soon!. Bet you can't wait.

After doing a wee bit of a forest trek, avoiding the huge military zones which were fenced off, we trekked back down the road to San Cristobal, much to the amusement of the passing cars. Don't think it is customary to walk along main roads here, particularly when you are obviously "rich westerners". We succumbed 7km in and jumped on a bus back to the hostel where we collapsed pretty tired. Not used to all this fresh air and exercise!

We cooked another vegatarian based rice dish (oh how I long for some meat!!!) and sat and chatted to around midnight with a couple of mad Ozzys and some delightful Danish girls who had just arrived.

Monday 22^nd October we plucked up some courage and went on a 4 hour horse ride to Chamula, a local Indian village. Strict instructions not to take any photographs as it "steals the souls of their people". Amazing how if you offered around 10pesos, they would sell their souls to you though.
Anyway, got to the horse stables, jumped on a horse. No safety instructions, no helmet, no riding instructions - just mount the thing and go for it. Horses had a mind of their own. Paid no attention to any instructionns. Cantered, trotted, galloped when they felt like it. We were close to giving up, but one must face ones fears now and again. The result - wellk picture it now. The three of us sitting on big cushions in the hostel, sipping beers all slightly concerned that we will never be able to father children.

Think its an easy night for the rest. Tomorrow we head to Palenque on the 10.30am bus. It supposedly takes 5 hours, but we have been wanred that 5 British hours is not always the same as 5 Mexican hours.

More soon......

We're back! And first a PLEA TO EVERYONE: PLEASE DON'T CLOG OUR EMAIL ACCOUNTS UP WITH MPEGs, JPEGs, OR ANYTHING SIMILAR. Sorry guys, we know you want to keep us amused, but internet connections here aren't the best, and large files slow everything down .. time is money and all that. Sorry to be so strict! Thanks and a big hug to you all ..

What have we been upto? ..

Cast your mind back to Wednesday, 24^th October .. we had arrived in Palenque, a fairly dull town, on the Tuesday night. Palenque is used as the gateway to the Yucatan - a crossroads going north-south and east-west in Mexico. The notable thing about the town are the amazing sights surrounding it ...

First of all, we started the day bright and squirly at 8am by visiting the ruined Mayan city just outside Palenque joined by a top British lad called Steve, whom we had met the day before, and it was FANTASTIC! The Palenque ruins are one of the 3 most important Mayan ruins in Central America, the other two being at Chichen Itza (in the Yucatan) and Copan deep in the Honduran jungle, which we are thinking of visiting in a couple of weeks ..

Anyway ... we made our way into the almost pristine ruins of Palenque. The ruins are in the middle of tropical rainforest, and the forest is continually trying to jealously creep back and reclaim the ruins for itself. The early start meant there were no crowds, and it wasn't too hot. We ventured off, climbing pyramids & walking through the tunnels within the pyramids [which is amazing! These people must have been tiny, because even Jackal had to duck down to get through the doorways!! ;-) ]

After climbing a few of the small pyramids / temples, we took a short trek into the edges of the rainforest on a small man-made path. It was such fun that whenever we saw a "Jungle Jim" path we had to take it instead of the normal path!

At the top of one temple, there was a path going down the back into the jungle so I wandered off on my own, and found some ruins in the jungle, and wandering around I saw a parrot, and a monkey climbing in the trees! Fantastic .. I stood for a few minutes watching the monkey, surrounded by leaves, trees, ferns, mosquitoes (always mosquitoes!), when what should I hear but another Munki - Jackal's voice, calling me. I answered as quietly as I could so that the little monkey in the tree wouldn't run away ... Jackal found me, and we wandered into the rainforest a few metres, staying really quiet for about 10 minutes, until the monkey started moving again ...

Jackal recorded the sounds of the rainforest on his Mini-Discman; I think he is going to send the disc back home when it is full for everyone to listen to ... we have been recording stuff at Teotihuacan (back in Mx City), and other places that we have been ...

We left the rainforest smothered ruins, and with the temperature creeping up into the 30s by about 10:30am, we took in the remaining ruins, avoiding the nests of wasps straight out of 1950s B-Movies (big black scary insects with wings .. eek!).

Eventually the trail 'round the site takes you through an official walk in the rainforest, past some waterfalls ... so we went for a swim in a pool right under the waterfall. It was cold, but in the heat, absolutely what we needed. Lovely! Of course we got munched on by mosquitoes, but it was worth it. Then we wandered back to the museum, to wait for our "colectivo" (these are VW Camper Vans that act as taxis everywhere .. they only leave when they are full, and the cost is really cheap - a few pesos .. almost like a mini bus). Anyway, next stop on the day tour was the waterfall called Misol-Ha.

What a beautiful setting! Water cascades out of the jungle and falls about 40m into a huge pool of clear water, reflecting the sun back up into a gazing sky ... there is a path that takes you round the back / under the waterfall, which is really refreshing when the sun is beating down on you!

30 minutes there, then back in the colectivo to Agua Azul (Blue Water), a series of huge waterfalls on a river. We stayed there about 3 hours, swimming for an hour in the chilly waters up-stream of the huge waterfall area. Lovely. We were very damp in the colectivo on the way back to Palenque.

That evening, we had dinner with some girls that we met at Agua Azul. So, hello to Claire and Emma if you ever read this!

After that, we took the night bus from Palenque to Merida, on the northern edge of the Yucatan Peninsula. At the start of the trip, a man got on the bus and rambled on in Spanish (duh), we picked enough up to realise that there would be lots of security checks, and that we should keep hold of our belongings in case of thefts.

200m out of Palenque we were stopped by the military police, and they asked all the Mexicans (not us tourists though) where they came from, do they have their identification papers .. etc etc .. they took at least THREE QUARTERS of the people off and put them in the back of a police van and took them away .. whooo!

If that's the quality of clientel on the night buses then thank your gods that they stopped us so early!

In Merida, there is nothing to do, so we said goodbye to Steve who was going in a different direction, and hopped straight on the bus to Valladolid, a small town about 45 minutes from the ruins of Chichen Itza. We found a great International Youth Hostel, haggled the price down by 10pesos each, and in the afternoon we all hand-washed our clothes in the chilled out back garden, dancing to the continual music that the owners put on for the guests. Aaahhhhhh! Lovely!

Taking advantage of the great kitchen, we cooked for ourselves, and then spent the night talking to Rosy, a chilled chicita from Lahndan.

Friday, we went to the local "Cenote" .. these are underground lakes, in caves, and were / are very important to the Mayans - in a landscape with few overground rivers, these collapsed bed-rock caves with fresh water were essential to the culture ... the Cenotes are still magical as they can conjure pesos from gringos .. ! So, making 12 pesos disappear from our pockets we went underground, and swam in this beautiful blue-watered lake, which is lit by daylight coming through one hole in the cave roof .. there are catfish in the water, and bats flying around overhead - just like Scooby-Doo ... magical ... and there I shall leave you, because the next adventures result in my humiliation, and Jackal is in the best position to tell you about those! Adios para ahora ...

Well, here we are at the final entry for Mexico ... and you never thought it'd happen. Hah!

As Graeme (or Krem as he's now known) mentioned, rather a lot happened in the last 5 days or so. I guess I'll start at the beginning ...

It was a stormy, stormy night ... well, it was a sunny morning and we took the bus to Tulum, which is a gorgeous, almost unspoilt town on the Carribean coast of Mexico, about 200km south of that nasty Amercian playground, Cancun. The reason for going there are the stunning ruins set on the clifftops overlooking the Carribean's turquoise waters and white sandy beaches ... and not of course to go sunbathing and get drunk.

We finally turned up at the popular cabañas of Don Almondo (only 15mins walk away from the ruins) and after buying hammocks from the Mexican beach dude, sunbathing all day and having quiet strolls along the beach, we went for dinner.

Of course we had realised it was Saturday night and had prepard by buying in 2-litres of beer each, which we promptly drank before eating and were quite happily sloshed. At this point me and Gordon rightly think that by right we ought to get hammered as its almost Graeme's birthday - lo and behold there's a sudden influx of Mezcals from the bar ...

I should explain that Mezcal is the Mexican tipple of choice when getting battered. Its stronger than tequila and tastes like petrol, hence we had 2 double shots each and another 3 rounds of beers. I think the dancing was going well, although I'm sure most of the girls we attempted to dance "near" might disagree, but we were having fun anyway. Me and Graeme were boogying like good'uns and the local gay mexican contingent were happily trying to move in on us.

Then about 1am a couple of English girls we'd been chatting to asked us to escort them down the beach. As perfect gentlemen we did, of course, and then being perfect idiots me and Graeme decided to strip off naked and run butt-naked into the sea. After much hilarity we realised that the others weren't going to join us .. and then some Mexican guys were shouting at us to get out of the water. We grab our pants from the poles in the water and run back to the shore, only to be severly reprimanded (whilst giggling like schoolgirls!) by the locals about the silliness of swimming drunk. Gordon disappeared with the 2 lasses (goood lad!) so we set off in completey the wrong direction for the cabaña. After 5 mins of walking through thick brush in the dark, we realise our mistake and turn around ... Well I turned around, Graeme just fell over in a heap and laughed for a while before standing slowly and falling over again. After more laughing (good stuff this mezcal!) Graeme manages to stand up, walk about 10 yards before falling over again. Then he realises he's been falling into sharp things ... LOTS of sharp things!

Try and picture the little burrs that stick to your clothes back in Blightey, then imagine them twice as large with needle like points sticking out at every angle all over them ... sharp enough not only to pierce and stick to clothes, but to pierce and stick straight into your bare skin!

Needless to say I was rolling on the sandy floor in fits of laughter whilst Graeme, still giggling, was painfully removing hundreds of these spiky pests from his clothes and arms. After a good 30 mins we decide he's clean and head back to the cabaña and even manage to find it! Then we remember Graeme had the key ... and has lost it in the bushes. There's no way we're going back so we sit down and wait for Gordy to turn up. This was a little sobering and quite soon Graeme notices that his arse is in a bit of pain. I shine the torch onto his rear-end and can't see any problem ... then he pulls his shorts up to show me the naked skin (not as erotic as you might think girls!) and there, stuck in his arse are about 30 of the spiky little pods. At this point i again collapsed into laughter and then had to spend the next 45mins staring at Graeme's pale bum and pulling spikes from it under torchlight. I don't think I've ever had such a humiliating task in my life! The shame of it all will never leave me. I'll be in therapy for the rest of my life. Luckily, there's no photos or witnesses to this heinous deed.

Anyway, the night ended with Gordy losing the English lasses, then dancing with a fat Italian girl and getting nowhere, us having to get a security guard to break the door of the cabaña down and then spending a further half an hour attempting to get into hammocks without breaking our necks. Of course, about 10 mins afer getting into bed Graeme notices the spiky things lodged into his ankles, which are still sore from sandfly bites over a week ago! Poor guy.

That was the first night anyway. It was quite an eventful week, so we'll try and update again.

Take care everyone and watch for the nasty spiky pods from Hell!!!

Jackal

Ok, what what! Got some updates to do, but have some technical stuff to do to the website first .. hope y'all'll be patient with us .. but I promise we've got some cracking stories to tell yas!

A word of caution .. there'll be a new page for each country, so I'll start indexing them on the front page once I've got the technical doodaas sorted out.

Right, the last portion of Mexico .. well ... let's see ... Spent about another 4 nights kipping in our hammocks in our cabañas on the golden white sands at Tulum, with the Caribbean surf gently lapping at the beach just metres away ... plus scratches on my only just healed lower left leg, thigh, small of my back and erse! Aja baja!

But wait ... let's take a re-rewind ... Jackal has just picked a thousand pricks out my erse ... and I've lost the key to our cabaña. SHEEEIT. So we pull our clothes on, and tramp, dripping wet, back to the bar to get some help. And so the security guard comes over, and of course he doesn't take the easy option and use a spare key .. oh no, he gets the world's biggest set of metal claws / teeth / things, and rips the lock off the door! Breaks the bolt out of its hole ... So the next day we had to change cabañas, and I had to sleep all day and miss out on a the Free-On-Sundays trip to the local Mayan Ruins. ARSE!

The next few days were really chilled out. We lazed around on the beach, met a cool Dutch girl called Masha, who looked just like our friend Helly back in Blighty - except with short brown hair instead of blonde. Bizarre. Masha, if you're reading, we'll try and get a photo of our Helly on the web to see what the comparison is like!

I had a quiet birthday-day, following the shenanigans of Saturday night, my arse was too sore for anymore adventures, and we had no money anyway. The weather was cloudy and occasionally rainy, which, when we left Tulum on the Thursday to head for the border town of Chetumal, we discovered was due to Hurricane Michelle sitting just off the coast, throwing bad weather out into Central America ... cool.

Well, not much else to write about Mexico. We had a great 3.5 weeks there, must take our hat off to Antony in Mx City for all his help, met some top people in Puerto Escondido, San Cristobal, Palenque, Valladolid and Tulum, and then headed off to Belize ... of which you can read about in the next section of the diary ...