Thailand Diary

"th" - both letters are pronounced. Don't do it the English way, e.g. "thing", "thought", etc. Its said more like "tuh", like in "Thailand".
"ph" - like above, pronounce both letters. Aspirate the "p" if you want to be technical about it. So, there's be no laughing at the back if I write the word "phuket", will there, eh?
"u" - like "oo"
"ao" - like a cross between "oh" and "ow" in English.
And, remember in Latin America when we were gringos? Well, here we are farang - or foreigners.

So, there I am staying in a quiet street, in a nice hostel, just off Khao-San Road, which as I said, is THE place for backpackers. Now, this throng of backpackers might serve to put me off staying there, after all, it means there'll be loads of British people there, and after Oz I'm feeling rather racist against my fellow country-people, but Khao-San (pr. Kow Sahn) is an experience in itself. A short road, about 200m long, it teems with kerb and roadside food stalls, neon signs, clothes stalls, motorbikes, jewellery stalls, tuk-tuks, gadget stalls, shops offering foreign exhange, an elephant, tour agencies, hostels, clothes, bars, restaurants, massages.

[ACT ONE: SCENE 1.
INTERIOR SHOT, HOSTEL, PATIO CHAIRS AND TABLES ARE ARRANGED IN A ROUGH L-SHAPE, AND THAI-STYLE SITTING MATTRESSES ARE ARRANGED TO THEIR LEFT IN TWO LONG ROWS. A TELEVISION IN THE CORNER SHOWS LOCAL THAI PROGRAMS.
CAMERA 'WALKS' THROUGH THE TABLES, AS IF IT IS A PERSON, SITS DOWN AT A TABLE, AND AFTER SOME JOGGING OF THE PICTURE, A BOOK IS PLACED ON THE TABLE SURFACE. WE CAN READ THE WORDS "ROUGH GUIDE TO THAILAND" ON THE COVER.]

Astro: Now my little friend, let's see if we can't figure out where these cinemas are, and how I get to them.

Astro (internal monologue): I seem to remember that there was a ... ah, I seem to have found it. [READING FROM BOOK] The cinema in the Paad Shopping Complex is the most convenient for Khao-San Road. Located just over the other side of the river, across the Phrapinklao Bridge. [TALKING TO BOOK] You must come with me to Paad Shopping Complex, if you're to help me learn the ways of the concourse.

[ACT ONE: SCENE 2.
EXTERIOR AERIAL SHOT. HIGH RISE TOWERS DOMINATE THE SKYLINE. WE CAN SEE THE CHEDI OF TEMPLES RISING OUT OF THE URBANITY. CARS AND BUSES APPEAR TO SPEED ALONG ON AIR, THE HEAT RISING OFF THE ROAD CREATING AN ILLUSION SO THAT THEIR WHEELS DISAPPEAR.
AMONGST THE MANY PEOPLE AND VEHICLES, THE CAMERA SWOOPS DOWN FROM ITS AERIAL SHOT, THROUGH THE TRAFFIC (director's note: insert in the background a wacky bunch of locals having a comical visual argument here?), ZIPPING THROUGH THE CARS AND BUSES AS IF IT HAD PRIOR KNOWLEDGE OF WHERE THEY WERE GOING TO MOVE NEXT; MOTORBIKES ZOOM UNEXPECTEDLY OUT FROM BETWEEN VEHICLES, BUT THE CAMERA APPEARS TO BE PRESCIENT, AS THESE ARE AVOIDED TOO. EVENTUALLY, WE SEE A BRIDGE IN FRONT OF US, RISING UP INTO THE AIR, AND AT THE SIDES OF THE PICTURE A WIDE BROWN RIVER IS JUST VISIBLE UNDER THE BRIDGE. THE CAMERA ZOOMS UP INTO THE AIR, THE ROAD BECOMES BLUE SKY, THEN THE VIEW DIPS, THE CAMERA FALLS TO THE GROUND, AND WALKING ALONG THE EDGE OF THE BRIDGE, WE SEE A WHITE 'FARANG' - IT IS ASTROBOY, LOOKING UNSURE. THE CAMERA LEVELS OUT TO A HORIZONTAL SHOT AS THE VIEW ZOOMS TO THE GROUND, AND WE SEE FROM HIS FACE THAT THERE IS A CONFLICT GOING ON IN ASTRO'S MIND AS HE SURVEYS A ROAD THAT LOOKS RIGHT, BUT WHICH THE MAP SHOWS WILL EVENTUALLY GO THE WRONG WAY]

Road (strong, ghostly voice): Join with me, and together I will take you to your destiny.

Astro (unsure voice): No, its not true, that's not the right way.

Road : Search your feelings. You know this to be the true path.

Astro (again, the unsure voice): No, that's not possible. That road leads to a dark side, with no farang.

Road : You don't know the power of the dark side! Join with this path, and it will lead you to everything you desire.

Astro [SETTING OUT ONTO A WIDE EMPTY HIGHWAY, AWAY FROM THE DARK ROAD]: Never! I'll never join you!

[ACT ONE. SCENE THREE
EXTERIOR SHOT, VIEW FROM ABOVE, WIDE ANGLE. THE BABBLE OF NOISE RISES FROM A BUSY STREET MARKET, UNDERNEATH TARPAULIN COVERS. FRUIT AND VEGETABLES ARE SEEN PILED UP ON MARKET STALLS. ASTRO CAN BE SEEN PASSING FROM ONE STALL TO THE NEXT, BOOK OPEN. LOCALS POINT SUCCESSIVELY TO THE RIGHT, BUT AS THE CAMERA PANS ALONG THE PATH, WE SEE ONLY MORE MARKETS AND A CAR PARK]

Astro (internal monologue): Where is my interpreter droid when I need him? I could do with some subtitles here; I can't understand this alien language.
Astro (out loud): Cinema yuu thii nai?

A LOCAL POINTS FURTHER TO THE RIGHT, AND THEN HOOKS HER HAND ROUND TO SHOW A TURN

Astro: Khawp khun, khrap!

WALKING THROUGH A CAR PARK, A CINEMA COMES INTO VIEW

Astro [APPROACHING A COUNTER SURROUNDED BY STAR WARS POSTERS]: Star Wars?

Local: Speeeek thai

Astro: errr ... [FLICKING THROUGH PHRASES SECTION AT BACK OF GUIDE BOOK, AND POINTING TO POSTER] Ao Star Wars. [SUBTITLE HERE: I want Star Wars]

Local: Speeak Thai! Speaak Thai!

[A LOOK OF REALIZATION PASSES OVER ASTRO'S FACE]

Astro: Cinema khun phuut phaasaa thai dai mai? [SUBTITLE HERE: Cinema do you speak Thai?]

Local [LOOKING A BIT CONFUSED BUT NODDING] Chai! Chai! Speak Thai! Speak Thai! [SUBTITLE HERE: Yes! Yes! Its a Thai Cinema you weak-minded fool! All the films are in Thai, I mean, what did you expect out in a district never visited by farang?]

Astro (internal monologue): uh, this search for jedi masters is hard. I've walked for 1.5 hours only to find a cinema where all the films are dubbed into Thai. Ah, but I've had a good adventure though!

[ACT TWO. SCENE ONE.
EXTERIOR SHOT. CLOSE ANGLE, THE BACK OF ASTRO'S HEAD & SHOULDERS ARE SEEN STAGE RIGHT, STANDING IN FRONT OF A MILITARY OFFICER, WHO, BECAUSE HE IS BEHIND GLASS IN AN INFORMATION BOOTH, LOOKS DISTINCTLY GHOSTLY]

Officer: You will go to the Siam Square ..

Astro: .. Siam Square .. ?

Officer: There you will pass a Buddha, and the National Stadium which entertains me

[ACT TWO. SCENE TWO.
ASTRO IS AT A TICKET BOOTH. VELVET ROPES GO OFF TO THE LEFT AND RIGHT. A FRIENDLY THAI FACE PEEPS OUT OF THE TICKET BOOTH WINDOW.

Astro: One for Star Wars.

Ticket Boy: No tickets!

Astro: But why can't I see the Jedi Masters NOW?

Ticket Boy: All sold out! When we at peace, then we can feel The Force. But not before. You want ticket for tomorrow?

Astro: Yeah, OK. [INTERNAL MONOLOGUE] I thought I was supposed to concentrate on the moment, not the future .. hmm.

[ACT TWO. SCENE THREE.
INTERIOR SHOT. CANTINA SCENE. PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES CROWD AROUND TABLES, TALKING AND DRINKING STRANGE LOOKING DRINKS. ASTRO ENTERS, TAKES A TABLE, WATCHES THE NEW "SPIDERMAN" FILM ON THE TV, AND THEN STARTS TALKING TO ANOTHER TRAVELLER]

Astro [SLIGHTLY DRUNK]:So, your name's Garp? Like, as in "The World According To .."? Ah, you've heard that a billion times before .. Hey thanks for that info on the tech-y market, it'll .... ah. Oh no! I can't believe it .. they're showing Star Wars Episode II on the TV! I must not be tempted by the Dark Side!

Garp: Oh cool, ya wanna watch it?

Astro: I dunno. I've got a ticket for tomorrow. Would it be better watching it now?

Garp: Hmm, quicker, easier. Strong the desire is to watch it, yes. But if you have a ticket, you must maintain control. That's the Jedi way, mm?

Astro: Oh, but I'm a bit drunk, I really need to see it! No, Buddha says I must be at peace ..

[ACT TWO. SCENE FOUR.
INTERIOR SHOT, SAME CANTINA SCENE. THE BAR IS EMPTIER, AND BEER BOTTLES HAVE COLLECTED ON ASTRO'S TABLE]

Astro: I feel pain

Garp: Mm, it is the future you see. Always emotion is the future.

Astro: I see suffering.

Garp: Mm, difficult to see is the future. The Dark Side shrouds everything, mm.

Gosh, I really shouldn't start something I can't finish ... this also is taking too much time. Where's my Project Management training gone? Ah yes ... left it at work where it belongs.

So, that night, geeshed, I go to sleep at some silly hour of the morning, KNOWING that I've got to get up for the matinee performance of Episode II. What a silly arse!
Sometimes the best adventures out here are when you try to do 'normal stuff' - ask directions, find a cinema, get a bus -

I mean, when you're feeling like a llama has deposited some Inca Fertiliser in your mouth, and is relentlessly beating down on your already dehydrated head, the last thing you expect to see, at 9 o'clock in the morning, is an over-crowded, dilapidated bus tootling along proudly bearing the sign "ISO 9002:2001 certified". What?! A bus company in "the gateway to Asia" is certified to a quality management system? I thought it was bizarre when I saw a factory in the middle of the Honduran countryside proudly displaying for all the world that it was certified to ISO9001, but when you're offering continual improvement in quality in one of the most grid-locked, polluted, urbanised jungles in the world, then you know something's not quite right.

Still, it was a good bus ride though, if you like having fresh sweaty armpits wafted under your nose, and old women shoving you out of the way so tehy can squeeze into the space that they've just shoved you out of. That goes down real well when you're hungover.

Again, the digressions. So, I got to the cinema, feeling 100% less than 100%, and figured that if I was to stay awake for the film, I would be needing a strong coffee. Excellent idea young man. You're in tropical heat, dehydrated, and of course what you need is coffee.

So, feeling well, I sit in what turns out to be THE MOST POSHESESEST CINEMA EVER - I've got an entire fully-reclining, foot-supported padded armchair here (and I am not joking), in a theatre with just 40 seats, and little posh wood tables between every two seats, with, get this, waiter service. Waiter service! The film starts, I need a wee, I hang on, it gets worse, I nip out for .. the looongest time, get back, feel nauseous, need a wee again, but I can't miss MORE of the film, so I'm in increasing agony for the next 2 hours, my heart starts racing as the coffee hits it, I can't concentrate, I keep falling asleep cos, hey, I'm hungover in this dark cinema in an incredibly comfortable seat, I need to be sick and I'm hungry and thirsty.

Could I have screwed up this 2nd to last original Star Wars experience more? Maybe, but it felt like I couldn't. I had no idea what happened during the film, except that the bits in the background, all soft focus and not moving, were OK to watch whilst I could focus that much. Silly boy.

So, I had to go see it again - twice! Ha! And it rocks. And that's enough about Star Wars ... although you'll notice that for the sake of one film I learnt some Thai, visited parts of the city with no tourists, and negotiated the bus service. That's dedication. Or geekication.

Just for those who've never seen THAT film, a very quick bit of history - Japan conquered most of South-East Asia as part of an Imperial expansionist phase they were going through in the late 30s and early 40s. You know, much like Britain did in the 19th century when we invaded most of the world. But apparently that was OK, cos we got there first.
So, Japan decides that it can't be bothered with sending precious ships down the length of Malaysia and back to bring resources back from Burma, so it wants to build a railway :- the Burma-Thailand railway. And the bestest and quickest way to do this is to force the locals, and captured prisoners of war, to build it for them. By the end of the war, approximately 150,000 Malay, Chinese, Burmese and Thai had been forced into hard labour on the line, only to die there, alongside 16,000 POWs from the UK, Netherlands, Australia and USA (mostly those 4 countries). The Japanese of the time contravened the Geneva Convention, and kept these people under-nourished, forcing them to work on a project that directly contributed to military aims, and with no health-care systems. Hey nice huh? In 1959, that famous film was released, detailing the plight of one particular camp, stationed near the town of Kanchanaburi, about halfway between Bangkok and the Burmese border. Unlike the film, the bridge(s) they built there weren't destroyed by commando units, but by Allied bomber planes. The labourers and POWs were forced to stand on the bridges and wave "hello" at the planes. Its said the rivers ran with their blood for some time after the successful bombing mission.

So there's the background, and its pretty grisly. Now to the current reality ..

There's billions of minivans leaving from Bangkok everyday, to the town of Kanchanaburi, but rather than be squashed into one of those for 2 hours, I prefer to take the train - to see what these people worked so hard to build. Much like the system in Britain, the train left a bit late, and arrived over an hour late in K'buri. But what a breath-taking journey it was ....

The rail-line starts out in the intense urban jungle of central Bangkok, and as the train pulls out of the station, it passes through concrete valley after concrete valley. Eventually the buildings die down, and turn into slums, and then you're suddenly in countryside. There didn't seem to be any petering out of concrete, it just went CONCRETE CONCRETE CONCRETE GREENNESS. Following a river, overgrown with rushes, and other tall grasses, the the rail-line, passes through rice-paddy land, with clusters of posh European style houses to either side of the tracks. Across the paddies, you see little farm-houses, or corrugated iron sheds in the middle of nowhere.
The train stations most of the way up the line are at Temples; I don't know if the line follows the location of temples, or if the temples sprang up next to the line, but apart from Nuneaton Railway station, I have never seen such beautiful railway stations: the stupa of the temples rising behind, the station platforms overflow with jasmine and frangipani plants, trees crowd around the temples, framing them in green, and the sun beats down.
And then you can look out of the other window, and see the corrugated iron homes that the locals live in, surrounded by mounds of rubbish. Ah, there's always a balance.

After 2 hours of a 2 3/4hr trip, we finally arrived halfway to our destination, and it was time to change trains, so out we jumped, into the middle of a huge railway interchange junction - what, you were maybe expecting a platform or something safe? - jumped across weed-ridden tracks, got on the connecting train and finished the remaining 45 minutes in a record 1h30m.
Whilst on the train, I bought a fruit snack off one of the many vendors walking up and down the carriages. I have no idea what I bought, it tasted and looked a bit like a very unripe mango, very acidy, and it came with a bag of what I thought was sugar - you know, to balance out the acidity like. So, after trying the fruit as it was, and finding my tongue dissolving, I dipped a chunk of the crunchy fruit into the bag of white crystals (some of which were coloured red - how pretty), and popped this new exciting taste sensation into my salivating maw.
I wish someone had been sitting opposite me to explain my facial expression. I mean, of course I should have guessed that Thai's eat their fruit with salt and chopped chili, its so obvious isn't it? I bravely carried on with another 2 pieces, before abandoning the exercise as futile on grounds of cultural upbringing.

Back to the adventures .. a nice lady on the train convinced me to stay at her riverside hostel: C&C Guest House: especially after she dropped the price for a single, en suite, hut to just 80 Baht a night. The hostel was lovely though - there were floating huts right on the Kwai, a little stream running through the grounds with froggies hippity-hopping around, a main restaurant area (lots of old teak tables under a canopy of palm thatch), which went down to the river, and a floating chill-out raft. Tres plaisant, oui?

Taking two buses from the border, our two adventurers arrived in the what is almost the capital of northern Thailand, Chiang Mai, with just one exciting thought in their minds - tomorrow, after a sleep and some brekkie, they would meet some friends from home; two lovely people at the start of their own year away from the pressures of the rat-race. Gonzo and Astro would soon be meeting Bighty Two-Shoes and Choccy. Would this endless litany of bloody stupid names ever end? It appeared not...

The following day, after a round of toast and eggs, Astro and Gonzo sat at a table in the restaurant part of their hostel, taking the sun, and watching people go by; everyone looked like their two friends, and as they made small talk, they both looked over the other's shoulder at the road, to see if each could spot the friends first. "At last," they both thought, "At last, some news from home, some different faces, some NEW CONVERSATION AND NEW JOKES!".

And lo, it came to pass that every couple that walked past looked just like their friends, and it was very difficult indeed to spot the 2 long-lost buddies ...

But find them we did! And we heard all about life in exotic London, and we drank quite a few beers, and we signed up for a trek through their guesthouse, with the mad Julie, the sexy, sassy, funny owner of the guesthouse.

Departing on the trek, we were thrown into the first of our activities - buying water at a local supermarket ... hmm ... but then, after some time in the back of a pick-up truck, bonding with our fellow trekkers, it emerged that 2 lassies that went to Glasgow Uni knew most of Gordy's friends and family who also knew most of the friends of another Scot on the trek, and I met a girl who had worked with my old flat mate in Cardiff. A bizarre coincidental start to 3 rollicking days of fun.

Fun for us, but not for poor Claire! After an amusing hour on the back of some (well-treated) elephants,

we went a-walking up steep hills in the middle of the forest, and poor Claire started lagging behind, not knowing why ... in the middle of the night, after we'd been regaled with songs by the kids in the Hill Tribe village we were staying in, Claire's health deteriorated, and food-poisoning made itself very apparent.

First thing in the morning, we arranged a 4x4 pick-up to take her back to Chiang Mai.

Poor Claire! Am I allowed to gloat that, just for once, IT WASN'T ME? Probably not. The poor chicken got better by the time we arrived back.

Second day started with eggs for breakfast, and then a leisurely 4 hour trek through the forest, up hills, down hills, across streams, stopping in the middle of crevices to have noodles for lunch served out of freshly cut and split bamboo poles .. all very authentic.
The end of the day's trekking saw us arriving at a small 4-shack village, next to a waterfall. A very welcome shower sloshed the rank sweat off our bodies, and that night, after some excellent food, cooked up in the middle of nowhere, we exchanged every bizarre FACT that we knew. And here is the most bizarre one:

Its a F.A.C.T. that actress Jamie Lee Curtis has 2 Y-chromosomes, was born with both kinds of "bits down there", and her parents (Tony Curtis, and .. er ..) had to decide what she should grow-up as.! What a bizarre F.A.C.T. One wonders if she minds people putting on their websites ...

Ooh, what did we do then? Next morning, more walking in the forest, scrambling over slippy rocks down the edge of a river, with the light dappling green through the leaf canopy, until we got to the very dangerous White Water Rafting point.
Remember Chile? Remember how we got thrown out of the little rafts at every available opportunity? Well, thank goodness, this river was a cinch - a few baby rapids, and 6 of us in a big raft, with a professional dude at the back ruddering away, telling us when to paddle, and when to relllaaaxxx ... not a bad 1/2hr. Much better than what followed.

You'd think that sitting on a bamboo raft (see the picture above) and gently floating down the river, with a 'driver' punting you away from the banks, and any trees or woody-debris that might have collected in the river, might be a stress-free, pleasant way to spend the remaining hour of the trek.
Was it buggery. Our driver man seemed, at every point, to steer us TOWARD every obstacle on the river, such that we were having to lie down, as flat as we could, in order to avoid tree branches popping our eyeballs, or scratching our nads out - when you're expecting a lazy drift, and you're suddenly horizontal, hurriedly pushing big sharp and spiky bamboo poles up and away from your soft fleshy parts before you get skewered, you tend to get a wee bit annoyed. At one point, I had to jump out of the way of some killer shrubbery, and landed with my skinny foot running parallel to the bamboo poles the raft was made of: cue comedy injury, as my foot slipped between the poles, and my bony ankles then forced the bamboo poles further apart. OW! Needless to say, my leg was then stuck in the bamboo of the raft, with my foot trailing underneath, catching on anything and everything that happened by. Our driver man could only force apart the bamboo poles far enough for my foot and leg to come out comfortably - my ankles I had to force out, thus further injuring them. Grrr! Poor end to a splendid 3 days.

What did we do then? ... ahhh ... went out on the most bizarre piss-up in living memory.
Thai alcohol has something of a reputation: its either full of formaldehyde (Chang Beer), amphetamines (Singha Beer) or Loopy Juice (Whisky). We drank all that. And at the end of the night, the score looked like this:

Two best friends had a huge argument about nothing; 1 friend then hid under a table, with Gordy acting as a comforter, trying to get her to come out, and the other friend went and pulled the bloke out of one of the couples on the trek.
Needless to say, that couple then split up in the morning.
THE FALCON, the only Maltese person we've ever met, and who has the BEST ROCK GUITARIST HAIR IN THE WORLD, EVER!, burst into tears, for no reason.
In the morning, another guy woke up and burst into tears, not knowing why.
I woke up with my left eye the size of Manhattan, infected, damaged or bitten by an insect - who knows? It was swollen shut, and even now, a week later, its still a bit bloodshot, and a bit blurry.

An unusual night to be sure.

After that, for me I just had 1/2 a week of goodbyes! Said goodbye to Barney and Claire, as they headed off to Laos, and the rest of their trip; said goodbye to the people from the trek; said goodbye to Alex, The Nicest Man In The World, who had caught up with us from Laos, said goodbye to Denis, his erstwhile travelling companion, and finally, said goodbye to Gordy - who, with a secure job to go back to in October has less money worries than me.

Gordy, keep alive the Olympic flame, and go hang out with Orang-Utans in Sumatra :-)

Almost forgot to tell you: said hello and goodbye to a rather bizarre series of coincidences:

Remember Avram, the cool Israeli dude we met in Nicaragua, who turned up in Peru at New Year, and then in La Paz in Bolivia? Guess what? Only bloody well turned up in Thailand! Had a few days with him in Chiang Mai ... wondering where we're going to run into him again ... Eastern Europe seems a sure bet.
And then, 2 days before going home, wandered into a guesthouse in Bangkok, ready to meet Denis and Gordy for a night's drinking, and got collared by a young lady: "Scuse me", she said, "this might sound daft, but were you in Santiago about 3 months ago? In a hotel called Nuevo Valparaiso?".

Certainly was ... hang on, I recognise you ... blimey, a random traveller meeting; she was only in that particular guesthouse in Bangkok for 1hr whilst waiting for a bus between arriving from Britain, and going to the party islands down south. Talk about coincidence ...

just to show that its not all exotic sights out here, that it can indeed be grey, concrete and un-inspiring, and that sometimes, in the words of The Crusaders:

I play the street life
Because there’s no place I can go
Street life
It’s the only life I know

Street life
And there’s a thousand parts to play
Street life
Until you play your life away

You let the people see
Just who you wanna be
And every night you sang
Just like a superstar

The type of life that’s played
A temptin’ masquerade
You’re dressed, you’re geared out
You’re who you think you are

Street life
You can run away from time
Street life
For a nickel or a dime

Street life
But you better not get old
Street life
Or you’re gonna feel the cold

There’s always love for sale
Upon a fairy tale
Prince Charming always smiles
Behind a silver spoon

And if you keep it young
The song is always sung
You’re love’ll pay your way
Beneath the silver moon

xx G

I"M ALL ALONE....With Carl now with his beloved in Central Australia somewhere, and Graeme joining his beloved in Barcelona for a wee reunion... El GORDO is left to defend for himself with only Swiss Dennis for company... well what better company could I have. He is certainly not as attractive as Anna or Elin, but he makes up for that with boundless enthusiasm, anecdotes, giggles and lashings and lashings of ginger hair!!!!...

Thanks for writing up a great series of diary entries Graeme, for being a splendid travel partner and for great lego hair. Enjoy the next chapter of your life. See you soon

I am writing out of Kanchanaburi just now, which Graeme wrote up about a few weeks back whilst I was still venturing around Australia...so I wont tell you much about here except I almost stood on a SCORPION today. No not an ancient relic from a long past it German rock band, but a genuine, as big as my fist scorpion with big lobster arms. I thought it was a huge cockroach and swerved to avoid it just as it made some rather vibratory advancing moves in my direction. Never have I moved so fast, screaming like a little girl!!!!... I bet it was poisonous... yeah Indiana Birkett here escaping vile clutches of evil monsters and scary animals... bet you can picture it now!!!!... anyway you'll be pleased to know I am OK...

I have visited The Bridge over the River Kwai, numerous War Museums which were very informative and the huge war cemetary dedicated to the POW's killed in the construction of the railroad. Tomorrow I venture off on The Death Railroad train and then head down to the Islands in the south of Thailand where I continue my Bond Pilgramage and visit James Bond Island.......