Theses are quotations from my UHON 101 class. They're probably more like inside jokes, but I needed a place to store 'em.
All are Dr. Stuart, unless otherwise attributed.
"Peekaboo is a riot with this kid!"
"Sometimes after reading a paper you just feel like takin' a bottle of Jack Daniels and goin' out and sittin' in the yard and thinkin' about it."
"I'm impervious to Friday."
"I've really wasted my life just going through doors."
"Religion is a magic you believe in. Magic is a religion you don't believe in."
"Hell is the interesting place."
"How do you win the ladies? Punctuation."
Stuart:"Do you know how long eternity is?"
Tim:"Longer than this class?"
Dr Stuart: "I was at church, believe it or not, a few weeks ago and found this book called Extreme Faith. I opened it up and you konw what was inside?"
Gosma:(aside) "...porn?"
Dr. Stuart: "A bible."
"There is still karate."
"That's the reason I didn't join a sorority...someone might lie about how much they like me in sidewalk chalk."
"The church'll come after him..."
"I know some pretty unattractive children."
"I'm not putting it that crudely because I can, although I am..."
"If you know your latin slang..."
"Cinderella is really just a girl's triumph over dirt."
"What? Oh, you want to relate something to the text? Hm, ok."
"If the only reason you're not having sex with your children is because you're worried about what children you might have, you're really missing the boat."
Eric:"Aw, Tim's repressing things again..."
"Have you ever considered becoming a duck?"
Stuart: "You all want to do connections because you know that it's really just a waste of time."
Gosma: "We want to be better friends with you and stuff."
Stuart: "Good luck."
Gosma: "But we love you!"
"I make jokes. I'm a smartass. It's just not very nice."
"I always find that really cute. It's not healthy, but it's cute."
"There are not caluses in hell, man."
"How come I'm not a 14th century Florentine?"
"It's supposed to be tin for the tenth anniversary. I could've just gotten her a lot of sheet metal, y'know? 'Go crazy!' "
"I think you're onto something there. It's still gonna be freakin' crazy bad. Keep goin'."
Nathan: "They don't want you booty dancing to Gregorian chant."
Jennifer: "I'm not talking about that..I'm talking about candy."
Eric: "What kind of candy, Sugardaddies?"
Dr. Stuart: "Studies show that kids your age think of something at least vaguely sexual every two minutes."
Eric: "Maybe even less than two minutes..."
Gosma: "God is an asswipe."
"Oops, God's gonna punish me. Better punch myself first."
"This is the time to skirt the edge of sanity."
"You can do a lot with a twenty minute nap. You'd be surprised."
Gosma: "That was cool, Dr. Stuart. Look at what you did. You made everyone all pissed off and quiet and stuff."
Dr. Stuart: "That's just what I do."
Take me away!