"Mordak!" yells the crown prince of darkness. "Where is my dinner?"

            In response to the bellowing, a small red demon fumbles forward carrying a small tray of food. The Prince looks annoyed and Mordack is frightened as he looks into his own reflection that bounces off of Beelzebub's sunglasses. His knees shake slightly as Beelzebub leans forward and whispers "you are late."

            Mordak mewls and scurries away, but before he has cleared the room, the Prince waves his hand and Mordak is turned into a very sharp, slick looking attorney. Mordak screams, disgusted by his body's new form. The Prince chuckles as Mordak runs from the room. Beelzebub tries to pretend that that was the shape he had meant to turn Mordak into. Unfortunately, he has never been very successful with his powers.

            Embarrassed and keeping up the charade of being in complete control of all evil, the Prince orders a young woman to him. He needs to feel virile.  Some of the lesser demons lead forward a hideous demon woman. "No," shouts Beelzebub. "I want a human woman. Sibig and Erioth, go up to the Earth and bring me a woman that is enchanting and pure." His minions sluggishly walk out the door, mumbling the whole way.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

            Matt was in love. This was evident by the way he drooled and stared at Naomi. She was beautiful. Blonde hair, green eyes, big breasts and the sweetest personality of anyone he had ever met. He talked to her, but not much. She made his throat hurt whenever he tried to speak her. He would tell her now, or tomorrow. Josh, his best friend, elbows him.

            "Hey! She is going to think you are a fucking stalker Matt!" he says to his friend.

            "I know Josh, but she is just everything great in the world." whispers Matt while rubbing his stomach at the point where Josh's elbow has made contact with it.

            "Oh, my mistake, you are a fucking stalker."

            Matt groans. "I am not that bad."

            "Hey, you are watching her eating lunch." They both look away when Naomi suddenly looks their direction. "See what I mean? If you are ashamed when she catches you doing something, that is not a good sign my friend."

            Matt and Josh look seriously at each other. Matt heads towards his next class and Josh follows him. "Look, if you don't tell her soon, someone is going to get her all to their fucking self. Then, Bam... no more staring at Naomi."

            Matt looks at himself in the class mirror. He sees a big gothic freak that looks like he is going through severe emotional problems. This was not the type of guy that Naomi needed. She needed a smooth French guy or something and all he had to offer was a slightly overweight, blonde Goth with acne and peach fuzz.

            Matt sighs. "I think that I should just let that guy have her. She might be happier."

        Josh looks at Matt intensely. "You are a dumb fuck man. She is hot and sexy and likes you and you would let some dumb ass preppy get the goods? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

            Matt thinks a lot is wrong with him.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

            Sibig and Erioth hover around the Earth sensing for purity. The smell of it smells much like Vanilla and honey. It is not a very strong scent so they are having to focus a great deal. Finally they catch the scent. They swoop down to a high school. They laugh at the thought that there is purity in an American high school.

            Sure enough they spot her. Yes, it is the lovely Naomi that Matt desires so. She is smiling and throwing away her empty lunch bag. Her radiance astounds the two demons. They stand looking at her, a much desired difference from hell. The school bell rings. The startled demons look around as hoards of teenagers pour out from invisible places. Not even hell is as chaotic as this. The two demons lose the scent of Naomi and rush around in search of her. Soon, the whole cafeteria area is deserted and Sibig and Erioth stand alone.

            "Damn." says Sibig.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

            After school all the punks, freaks, Goths, or general weirdoes hang around at the donut shop across the street from the high school. Matt and Josh are there smoking cigarettes outside and fighting over what music they will put in the CD player of Josh's car. Their friend Star solves the problem rather well, she throws three of the CD's in the air and one lands on the hood of the car and the others fall on the ground. She picks up the one from the hood of the car and hands it to Josh saying "this one sounds good."

            Confused as to whether or not to be angry, Josh takes the CD and puts it into the car. Matt looks annoyed and unhappy. He has not seen Naomi yet and is worried that she might go home instead of coming to the donut shop. He paces around with his cigarette in his mouth.

            "Hey Matt, are you gonna talk to her today?" asks Josh too loudly. Matt looks around and Star smiles at him.

            "It's okay Matt, it's groovy. We all know now anyway." she says as she gestures to their group of friends who either nod or give him a thumbs up sign.

            "Great, I am a well known idiot." mumbles Matt.

            "You bet your sweet ass you are." says Star cutely as she gives him a quick hug. Matt spots Naomi walking towards them at that moment. And forgetting momentarily that he is hugging Star, he steps forward. Unfortunately, at that moment Star's lace skirt had gotten stuck on Matt's spiky boots. Matt crashes to the ground. Everyone looks as a loud cracking sounds echoes around the parking lot. Naomi looks and that is all that really matters to Matt. Or it would, if he could think. Instead, he is in too much pain to think about Naomi or breathing.

            Josh pulls him up. Everyone crowds around him. Matt hears "Is he okay?", "what happened?", and "eew! His nose is bleeding." He feels as if his nose has shattered his brain. He looks around trying to see straight. He sees a fuzzy blurred Naomi and abruptly passes out.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

            Naomi rushes after Josh as he carries his friend inside the donut shop. "Hey!" shouts the man behind the counter. "I don't want that shit in here! Get out!"

            "Josh can you carry him about five minutes to my house?" asks Naomi.

            "Fuck, if he wasn't so fucking heavy." groans Josh.

            "Hey, what the hell did I say? Get out of my shop!" yells the cashier. Josh carries Matt out of the shop and to Naomi's house, cussing all the way. Naomi is sure she has never heard the word fuck used so many times in 5 minutes. She is so worried about Matt, he hasn't stirred at all, not even when Josh nearly dropped him coming in the door to her house.

            She rushes to the cupboard and pulls out some washcloths and a big bowl of water.

            "Just be thankful my parents aren't home." she says to Josh and the currently unconscious Matt. Naomi goes about tending to Matt's bleeding nose while Josh looks around in her room curiously.

            She finds herself thinking about how cute and cuddly Matt looks while he is asleep. She wishes again, not for the first time that he liked her. But, he was always so distant that she knew he didn't.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

            "Can't we just find another girl?" asks Erioth.

            "No, she was perfect." growls Sibig. They are traveling across the street from the high school following the trail. "And at least we know she is in this town."

            They arrive at the donut shop and smile. "She is close now." says Sibig. "We will have her in minutes." They laugh evil chuckles, not so much because they are amused, but they really like to chuckle evilly. Star hears something, but can't place the sound. She follows the sound, which happens to be leading to Naomi's house.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

            Beelzebub is lonely and horny. Sometimes it sucks to be the Prince of Darkness. He would like the girls to come to him sometimes.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

 

            Matt awakens to Naomi looking down at him and rubbing her hand over his forehead. He knows he is still asleep. Or dead.

            "Am I in heaven? I hadn't actually believed in it! God was I wrong!" rambles Matt. He grabs Naomi's hand. "There was so much I hadn't done. Things I never got to say to you. I never even told you that I love you."

            They look at each other with deep caring and love. Then, a realization hits Matt. "Wait, why are you here? Did you die too?" asks Matt confused.

            Naomi shakes her head. "No." she mouths.

            Matt is stunned as he realizes he is alive and that he just confessed his feelings to Naomi. He feels dizzy again. Luckily Josh pops back into the front room at just that time and distracts Matt's brain enough to stay awake.

            "You are going on a fucking diet!" says Josh affectionately. "How are you feeling?"

            "I don't know. Like I just got my nose pushed into the back of my brain."

            "That good huh? Look, your nurse and I were kinda worried about you. Wanna call your folks?" asks Josh in the tenderest way that Matt has ever seen him act.

            "No, I am alright now. Is it still bleeding Naomi?" He realizes he said her name and holds his breath nervously.

            "Not really." says Naomi smiling. " It isn't broken either. I think you just bonked it really good." Matt and Naomi look at each other.

            "Oh shit! This is gonna get mushy and crap. Do you have any food Naomi?" says Josh heading for the kitchen.

            "Thank you Naomi." says Matt quietly. Naomi blushes and runs her hand down the side of his face.

            "Did you mean what you said?" she asks.

            Matt squirms nervously. It is time to face up to it. To tell her. He opens his mouth and there comes a knock at the door. Naomi's eyes open wide. She runs to the peephole. "Who is it?" she yells.

            "Jehovah's witnesses." replies a man from outside. Naomi has a habit of talking to these men who try so hard all day to talk to people about their religion, but she is busy at the moment.

            "I'm sorry, it's a bad time. Can you come back later? I really will still be here." Naomi looks back at Matt happily. His eyes are closed and he looks so adorable that she knows that she is going to have to kiss him. She steps away from the door and walks over to her sweet patient. She kneels down beside him. He opens his eyes sensing her presence. They look lovingly at one another and Naomi leans closely to Matt. Her eyes close. He feels his stomach jump and bunch up. He leans forward as well.

            "No, we can't come back later. We need you now." says a loud voice form inside the room.

            Naomi jumps away from Matt and they both look up at the figures of the two "Jehovah’s witnesses."

            Matt's stereotypical gothic rudeness kicks in. "Hey what the fuck do you think you are doing?" he demands.

            Josh comes in from the kitchen. "You talking to me buttwipe?"asks Josh. Then he sees the company. He looks at Naomi who is terrified. And Matt, who is bristling like a cat.

            "We are here for the girl. And we are going to take her back to hell with us." answers Sibig.

            "Back to hell? You have been to my house?" asks Josh in an attempt at humor. It doesn't work. Sibig and Erioth begin to change back into their more accustomed forms. Naomi screams as the two become small red demons.

            "Fuck!" says Josh. Matt stays silent.

            The two devils walk towards Naomi intently. Naomi jumps up and runs for the bathroom cause it has a lock. Sibig jumps forward and grabs her by her long skirt and drags her backwards. "EEEK!" yells Naomi as she falls forward.

            Josh, who has great reflexes, jumps onto Sibig punching at the speed of light. Sibig is set back temporarily. While Josh is hitting Sibig, Erioth comes after Naomi. Matt gets to his feet and dives for the little demon's ankle. The demon falls and Naomi turns back around to the bathroom. There is another knock on the door.

            Everyone is quiet. They all look towards the door. Matt is not sure if you are supposed to answer a door when demons are trying to take your girl to hell. Sibig blasts the front door off. Standing in the doorway is Star.

"Nice entrance Star babe!" says Matt in a nearly delusional state.

            "Thanks." she says looking around at the two red demons. "What is going on?"

            "They are trying to take Naomi to hell." says Josh

            "Really? You mean Christianity is right?"asks Star astonished. The two demons have now come to their senses and they grab Naomi's arms.

            Josh comes forward to kill them, but Sibig lifts one of his long, evil looking nails to Naomi's throat. "Stop!"

            Everyone does stop. But not because of Sibig. They stop because the most evil being in all creation has just stepped into Naomi's house.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

            "Greetings. Why are you taking so much time to accomplish your task?" Beelzebub asks of his minions.

            Erioth says "that guy kept hitting us."

            Everyone looks at Erioth like he is the stupidest wiener on the Earth. The Dark Prince shakes his head.

            He walks over to Naomi and asks "What is so bad about me really? Why not me?"

            Naomi looks amazed. "Because I love Matt." She looks so surprised that she said that.

            Beelzebub looks saddened. Then, angry. "You are going to come down and live with me in hell."

            "Over my dead body Asshole!" says Matt stepping in front of Naomi. The Prince of all evil, not used to being called an asshole, just looks at Matt.

            Recovering quickly, Beelzebub turns to Naomi. "I offer you power over hell. I offer you me, the second most powerful being in the universe. And you want this?" he asks pointing to a dilapidated Matt that has blood dripping out of his nose and smeared eyeliner all over his face.

            "Yes." Naomi says and smiles. She looks at Matt and they step into each other and kiss. They kiss with love and passion. All things good in the world exist in their kiss.

            Beelzebub feels guilty and turns to walk out of the house. He yells back at his minions "Leave her be."

            His big dark broad shoulders sag as he walks through the doorway. No girl would ever join him willingly.

            "Wait!" shouts a voice from behind him. The Prince looks behind him. He sees a very pretty punk girl smiling at him. "I'll go."

            Beelzebub feels happiness for the first time since he was kicked out of heaven. She does not cringe as she takes her arm. They smile at each other and The Prince of Darkness, Star, Sibig, and Erioth leave the house all feeling mushy.

            Josh turns to Matt and Naomi and smiles. they are still kissing. The front door reappears intact. Josh lays on the couch and starts munching on some of the candies in a dish on the table. There is a knock on the door. This time, it is Naomi's parents. But, what is being grounded when you can find true love? It is nothing to Naomi and Matt, who keep kissing.