Squall was waking up against him. Seifer wanted him to go back to sleep. The silence was better when they were asleep. And the smell was better when Seifer was asleep. They had showered once or twice since Her. But there was no point. Being naked made them feel even more vulnerable.

Squall looked at him, his eyebrows frowning. "I don't want to be alive."

Seifer nodded. This wasn't really living though was it? "We need to shower though."

"Why don't we kill ourselves?"

They talked about it at least twenty times a day. Why didn't they kill themselves? The hope that She would come back to life? The fear of death? They would think of a reason everytime. "It's a coward's way out."

Squall silently agreed. He deserved to suffer for having sent Her to Her death. "I ordered her to be there."

Seifer groaned. "I know. It was cause I was stealing her from you."

"I hate you."

"And I hate you."

Seifer's doorbell rang. They had to stay at Seifer's. Squall's had smelled like Her. "Hey guys, we need to talk to you."

It was Zell. They didn't want to see Zell.

"When was the last time we ate?" asked Squall suddenly.

"I don't remember. I'll get the door." He slowly went to the door, with Squall still puzzling over food. "Hello Zell and Irvine."

Seifer noticed that they weren't wearing black anymore. "Why aren't you wearing black?"

Zell half smiled. "Seif, it's been 3 months. We stopped wearing black a long time ago."

"Seif?" Seifer looked puzzled. What had Rinoa called him? Surely she had once had a pet name for him. He couldn't remember if she had or not. He wanted to go back to bed.

"We brought some food. It's chicken," said Irvine, holding up a food container.

Squall had already smelled it. "They behead chickens, but they don't shoot them in the head. It taints the food."

Irvine and Zell were shocked. They knew that their friends hadn't left Seifer's room in months, but they hadn't realized how bad they were doing.

Zell stepped closer to the two of them. "Irvine and I are getting married." Perhaps it wasn't best to just blurt it out, but the room smelled bad and it made him sad to be there.

Seifer and Squall looked at each other. Seifer crawled back under the covers and held Squall tightly. He didn't want to hear about happy people.

Squall held Seifer close, not with affection, but pure reflex. "We can't remember when we ate last. You can leave the chicken. We will eat it."

"You guys don't look so good," said Irvine.

"She probably didn't either. Please leave." It wasn't a request. Squall was already closing his eyes and burying his head in Seifer.

Three months was a long time. Had they been like this for three months? Surely, the pain was supposed to lessen by that point.

Zell and Irvine left.

"I told you that we needed to shower."

"I didn't want to be naked," said Squall. They were under the stream of water, fully clothed. That had been Seifer's idea. "I'm hungry. I'm glad they brought chicken."

Seifer thought about it. Yes, he was glad they had to. "I wonder what we look like."

After only the first week, Seifer had broken the mirror in the bathroom. He didn't want to see the disheveled mess that Her death had made him.

Squall squinted at him. "You look…skinny. You look weak too. Your eyes look really big now." The Almasy build had always been imposing. He didn't look imposing anymore. He looked like a starving child. Squall reached out to run his fingers around Seifer's eyes.

Seifer wasn't surprised that Squall was touching him, there had scarcely been a time since Her that they hadn't been touching. It was the fact that Squall was looking AT him, not through him. Something had changed. They were recovering. Seifer didn't want to. He wanted to hold onto his mourning. He didn't deserve to get over her.

Squall nodded. "I feel it too." He hugged Seifer tightly. It wasn't fair. He didn't want to be hungry or still have to pee. His bodily functions should have stopped when Hers did.

"Do you think the funeral was nice?" asked Seifer. He was running the third batch of shampoo through Squall's hair.

Squall nodded. "Yeah. President Carroway had money, so I'm sure he paid a lot for it."

Seifer gasped. "You don't think they put Her in Deling City do you?"

Squall hadn't really thought about. They always buried Garden students at Garden. But, they'd always been orphans. Rinoa was the first Seed with parents, and famous ones at that. "I want to find out."

"Me too. I kind of want to see Her anyway."

"Let's eat first."

They actually shaved each other first. They had to slice off the majority of hair with a knife first. There was just too much bulk. When they put on new clothes, they felt like different people. They weren't Seifer Almasy and Squall Leonhart anymore. But they also weren't the people they had been hours before. It was discomforting.

Everyone gaped at them in the hallways. There had been rumors that they had committed suicide and Garden was trying to cover it up with the story that they were "In mourning." No one attempted to talk to them. They had all been there and seen how it had hit them.

"No, he's not available. But, as I've stated a thousand times, I am the headmaster in Squall's absence." Quistis was getting pissed. These officials never wanted to take her serious. "No, he is not dead!"

She slammed down the phone. Diplomacy be damned. These people were just rude. When a knock came at the door, she wanted to dive under the desk and keep silent. But, she didn't. "Come in?"

"Hi Quistis," said Seifer, one arm around Squall's shoulder. They both looked so thin that she gasped. But, they were out of their room and that was good.

"Hi Seifer. Is there anything I can do for you?" She had to play it cool and not jump up and down for joy that they were recovering.

"We want to see Her. Is She in Garden or Deling City?"

Well, recovery only went so fast. "Of course, she's here. All students stay with their Garden. I'll take you there."

Squall nodded. Quistis noticed that by the way Seifer was looking at her, it was as if he had been the one to nod. It was creepy. They had bonded into one entity.

Rinoa Heartilly was dead. Her headstone was carved with wings around her name. Just like the ones that had been on the back of her favorite outfit. There were fresh white flowers on the site. Seifer and Squall wondered who had put those there.

"Where is Matron?" asked Seifer. It was the first time that the two had thought about the other casualty.

Quistis shook her head. "Not by Rinoa. She is at the orphanage at Cid's request. But, she has her own statue. It's by the front gate."

"Good. She was too good of a person not to have a statue."

"Yes she was," said a voice from behind them. It was ex-headmaster Cid. Seifer and Squall watched him. He was a fellow victim of close loss. The bond was there. "Glad to see you two out of your room."

Squall opened his mouth, but Seifer asked first. "How did you do it?"

Cid smiled. "Edea died because she wanted to be by my side when I was ill. I would have done the same for her. It was just her first instead of me. Someday, I'll join her again…somewhere."

Seifer and Squall bowed their heads. He had shown more courage than they did. "We all have our time and regardless of the length of it, we have to do our best in that time. A short life can have more impact on the world than a long one. It's all what you make of it. Edea helped thousands of orphans find homes. Rinoa Heartilly saved the world. We've been witness to two great women. We should honor them by following in the footsteps they have left behind."

Seifer and Squall smiled. The first time in three months. "Damn hard to go on without those great women though…" said Seifer.

Cid nodded. "It sure is."