Chapter Seventeen: At The Crossroads
~Done so many things wrong I don't know if I can do right
Oh I, Oh I've
Done so many things wrong I don't know if I can do right
At this point in my life~
the Firehouse
V walked into the kitchen, humming absently and off-tune to herself. She stopped doing both abruptly, when she saw the figure sitting in the darkened room. Biting her lip, V turned to leave, fully intending to silently back out, leaving him as alone as he obviously wanted to be. Which she would have done if her hip hadn't caught the sideboard as she walked into the swinging door, knocking a metal tray and several serving bowls to the floor with a loud crash.
"You make a hell of an entrance," Scott spoke up, amusement warring with the weariness in his voice. "Anyone ever tell you that?"
Figuring silence and digression were pretty much a thing of the past, V reached out and flipped on the light switch as she turned around. "More than once," she said, ruefully, with a slight grin. "I'm never quite sure how to take that one."
Scott shrugged. "Do what I do, kid. Just assume everything's a compliment. Makes life easier. And more fun."
"I'll keep that in mind," V said, biting on her cheek hard to prevent herself from rolling her eyes. "Since you seem to be having so much fun and all." She walked over to the sink, tucking a dishtowel in the waist of her jeans, and starting warm water running. "It was a good party, wasn't it?" she offered placidly, a gesture of peace.
"Yeah. Thanks for the idea, by the way," Scott scratched his chin and looked at her. "I think I may have forgotten to mention that one. 'Rena loved throwing a welcome home party for her sister. You're really good with her; both my girls had a great afternoon, thanks to you." He rested his chin on his hand, tilting his head to study V, as she squirted detergent into the water as it warmed up, placing the stopper in the sink. "You know, you don't have to do that. Whatshername'll get it in the morning."
"LuEllen," V emphasized the housekeeper's name, "has weekends off, Scott. Besides, Serena and I made the mess," she looked around at all the baking dishes she and Serena had used to bake cookies and brownies and their piece dé resistance -- a giant, lopsided, welcome-home cake and grinned ruefully. "I'll clean it up. And you," she tossed a spare dishtowel at him, "can dry since your daughter the sneak skipped out on me."
Scott pushed himself up from the kitchen table, and grabbed the towel V had tossed at him. He took his place beside her at the sink, and they worked in companionable silence for a while. He shoved a newly clean cookie tray into the drying rack with more force than was warranted and turned to V as she jumped. "You should go, Ardanowski. I can finish here," Scott said, gruffly. "You probably want to go play with the big Aussie Ken doll, anyway."
V laughed, flicking the end of her soapy towel in Scott's direction. "Jax is off somewhere being moody. And, he's not paying attention to any of my advice, anyway," she looked him up and down. "Kind of like the current company I'm keeping." She looked at him her gaze cool and quiet and the closest thing to a balm Scotty Baldwin knew these days.
Scott sighed. He turned around, leaning back against the counter. "It's just -- hard. Seeing her, watching her with the kids, and not being with her. I don't even want to go back to the way things were, V, but I can't figure out how the hell to move forward from where I am." He gestured with his hands, frustratedly. "I'm stuck, standing here, waiting for -- I don't know. For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do next."
V reached out and turned off the water, deliberately drying her hands on the towel tucked into her jeans. "Scott," she paused, reaching out to lay a hand on his arm, "you're at a crossroads." She creased her forehead, shaking her head once at his expression. "It's a thing my grandmother used to say, when your life was at a place where you had to take stock. You have to look around you and -- decide. Where you're going to go, what path you're going to travel down. You have a choice, right now, and you have to make it." Her eyes flashed fire, and her grip tightened on his arm. Scott had been indulging himself in this thing too long. "Are you going to mope around here like a bump on a log waiting for someone who's not coming back? Or are you going to make a change, take control of your life?" V locked eyes with him. "What are you going to do, Scott Baldwin?"
~At this point in my life
I've done so many things wrong I don't know if I can do right
If you put your trust in me I hope I won't let you down
If you give me a chance I'll try
You see it's been a hard road the road I'm traveling on
And if I take your hand I might lead you down the path to ruin
I've had a hard life I'm just saying it so you'll understand
That right now, right now, I'm doing the best I can~
Harborview Towers
Carly closed her eyes, lifting her face until she felt the setting sun hitting every inch of it. The rooftop garden of Harborview Towers had been closed off for years; when Sonny had moved in, it had been one of the first changes he'd made, for security reasons. Carly hadn't even known it existed in all the months she'd lived here with Jason and with him. Last week, though, Jason had shown her the small door at the end of the hall she'd never noticed and handed her the key. And, the teeny stairwell had led up to this. Her own, private garden.
Carly didn't know how Jason made it safe, though she knew he wouldn't have let her up here if it weren't. Honestly, she didn't care. All that mattered was that she got to go outside again, after being cooped up in the penthouse for so long. Even in late November, when the air was chilly, she was up here every possible second that the sun was shining. Except that it suddenly wasn't. She frowned as a shadow fell between her face and the sun, and Carly's eyes popped open. She frowned at the figure standing at her side. "Okay, you know what? This is starting not to be just this screwed up coincidence anymore."
"Maybe it never was," Jerry said, with uncharacteristic softness as he looked down at his daughter. Her frown grew deeper, and Jerry quickly modified his face into it's typical mischievous grin. "Or so my Mum always said. You know, two times is coincidence, three times and it's a conspiracy?" He perched on the edge of a wrought-iron chair facing Carly. He leaned forward, lowering his voice dramatically. "You conspiring to see me, Carly?"
"Ha. Ha." Carly rolled her eyes, tossing a pillow at him which he caught deftly. She sighed, and pulled herself up to a sitting position. "Okay, well, I guess peace and quiet are pretty much out of the picture. Here," she held her arm out to him. "The least you can do is help me back downstairs." Carly rested one hand on her slightly swelling stomach while resting her other on his offered arm. "I know it doesn't look like I need it, but since I'm cheating by not stayin' in bed, better safe than sorry."
Jerry hovered protectively, one hand at the small of her back, the other firmly holding her arm as they maneuvered down the stairs and back into her penthouse. Once she was settled on the couch, Carly looked up at Jerry, giving him a strange look. "Thank you," she said, briefly, then narrowed her eyes. "So, gonna tell me what you're doing here?"
He shrugged, nonchalantly, and slid his hands in his pockets. "Last time I ran into you, you weren't doing so well. I was in the neighborhood, figured I'd stop by and check in."
"Uh-huh." Carly's eyes narrowed even further. "You know, Jerry, if this is some kind of ploy to get Bobbie back in your life by being nice to her daughter, it's not gonna work. Number one, no matter how nice you are to me, I'm never going to tell she needs to get back together with you. And, number two," Carly busied herself pulling the Afghan from the back of the couch into her lap and adjusting it, "I don't see enough of Bobbie for her to listen to what I have to say or," she shrugged, not looking up, "care that much. So, you're wasting your time, Jerry."
Goddamn Bobbie. The words were on the tip of Jerry's tongue, but he bit them back, forcibly. The only thing cursing her mother would do was make the pain in his daughter's eyes deepen. Instead, Jerry sat on the table beside the couch and reached for Carly's hand. "Hey," he said, with a soft smile, "time spent with you is never a waste, Caroline. Like I told you, last time we ran into each other, you remind me of someone I knew, once."
"Someone you cared about?" Carly guessed, letting her hand rest in both of his. For whatever bizarre reason, Jerry's presence was oddly comforting. Almost -- paternal.
Jerry nodded. "Someone I cared, care about very much," his voice was a husky whisper. He shook his head. "Enough. Enough about me. Are you okay? Need anything?"
Carly laughed, sliding onto her side. "What I need, Jerry, you can't get me." She looked up at him, with a lopsided smile. "I'm fine. Just bored. I've never been the stay-at-home type, and right now I don't have much of a choice." She wrinkled her nose.
Jerry laughed, his dimples showing. "I could try and amuse you," he offered, with a grin. "Sing a song, do a dance, tell you a story. Your wish..." he trailed off, looking down at her, doing his damnedest to keep this whole thing light as possible.
"Ooo, don't tempt me," Carly pulled her knees up towards her chin. She closed her eyes, then popped one open, pouting her lips up at him. "Tell me a stowy, Unca Jerry," she teased, in a little girl voice.
Jerry's grin widened, until Carly's one open eye closed again, then slowly faded, to be replaced by something a lot more serious. He swallowed, hard, then slowly, silently blew out a long breath. "Once upon a time," he began, "there was -- not a prince. A kid. Who was on a first name basis with trouble and all that came with it."
"Sounds familiar," Carly interrupted, her eyes still closed.
"Yeah," Jerry reached out, tentatively and touched her hair softly with one finger, "I thought he might. So, anyway, this kid does -- a stupid thing one day. Not the first stupid thing he's done, or the last, but possibly -- the one he regrets the most. And, he gets caught."
"By the bad guys?" came the yawning question.
"More or less. Or, maybe they were the good guys. Lines in the sand get awfully hard to read." He was quiet for a long moment; so was Carly. "Anyway, these -- people offered the boy a choice, instead of being punished for the stupid thing he'd done: work for them. And, he took it. Who wouldn't? For a while, it was even, it was good. He was 'righting wrongs' and having a hell of a time doing it. Our young hero," Jerry grimaced slightly, "even found he had a talent for doing what they wanted him to do. And so, time went on. And those lines in the sand got more and more blurred until one day, the boy, a man now, looked down, and he couldn't figure out which side he was standing on anymore. And, he wanted -- he wanted to stop. So, the man went to his bosses, and he told them so." Jerry's fingers unconsciously tightened on Carly's. Her eyes were open at this point, and staring into his. "They smiled, bared their teeth and handed him a bomb." His dark eyes, so very like his child's bored into hers.
"They told him he had a daughter."
~Before we take a step
Before we walk down that path
Before I make any promises
Before you have regrets
Before we talk commitment
Let me tell you of my past
The things I'd like to forget~
Port Charles Hotel
He hit the punching bag. Again. And, again. And. Again. Eventually, he worked up a damn good rhythm; it was a pity the bag wasn't his brother's head. Or, hell, V's -- for calling him and getting him mixed up in his bloody brother's bloody life again. Jax paused for a moment, wiped the sweat off his brow, then attacked the bag again with renewed vigor.
Blair punched the treadmill up a couple of notches; she wasn't exhausted yet. And, she wanted to be. If she was tired enough, then she wouldn't have to think anymore. Wouldn't have to see Sonny's goddamn eyes or hear Max's voice in the back of her head. 'You're a loser, Blair. You'll always be a loser'. She hit the controls again, punching it up another notch. Closing her eyes, she tried to clear her mind of everything but breathing. In, out, in, out . . . damnit! Her eyes snapped open, and she scanned the PC Hotel's exercise room, looking for the source of that infernal pounding. Target -- locked. Blair's laser-green eyes fixed on the figure in the corner who was about to knock the punching bag off it's stationary hook and into the wall.
She keyed the treadmill to slow down, stepping off of it once it was at walking pace, and stalked over to the guy. "Excuse me," Blair snapped at his back, not wanting to get in reach of his elbows. When he didn't turn around, she looked around, and found a towel resting on the bench. Lifting it, Blair tossed it at his head. "Hey! Could you knock it off, please? Some of us are actually trying to concentrate."
Jax whirled around, hearing the words, but not seeing the woman at first. He was too busy trying to get the damn towel off of his eyes. "I'm sorry," he started, out of habit, then stopped when the woman standing in front of him, hand on hip came clear. "Oh great. Lovely. It's you. Just exactly what I need right now. Are you stalking me?"
Blair looked at him, incredulously, only now realizing this was the jerk who mowed her down in the park the other day. "Okay, I knew you were incredibly bad-mannered, but are you insane? You're the one who was actin' like a freight train to hell the other day; you're the one who's attacking that punching bag like it took off and bit you. I," Blair pointed forcibly at herself, "am the innocent bystander who was just unlucky enough to get in your way. Story of my life," she muttered, darkly.
Jax started to retort, sharply, still breathing hard when he happened to glance at his knuckles. Two of which were bleeding. He closed his eyes, forcing his breathing under control, then opened them again. "I'm sorry," he said, almost cordially. Jax shook his head, trying to clear it, and tried his best at a smile, focusing on the woman. Who was wearing a bright red bodysuit that clung almost indecently to every one of her not-insignificant curves. His smile deepened, became more real, even if it didn't reach his eyes. Distraction -- god, how he needed that. "Truly, I am sorry. I've had a rotten few days; you were unfortunate enough to be standing near enough to get the overflow." He extended his hand towards her. "Jasper Jacks."
Blair hesitated, then took the hand in hers. She had missed, somehow, how blue his eyes were the other day. Her eyes ran across his well-muscled frame. She had, apparently, missed a lot. "I know," she responded, smiling slowly, sexily. She tossed her hair back, laughing at his obvious surprise. God, it felt good to do this again, play this game. "I used to run a newspaper; you made the cover a couple of times, Mr. Jacks. My name's Blair Cramer. And, I am sure we can come up with some way for you to -- make amends." Her smile widened, and broke into throaty laughter as he chuckled, his hand tightening on hers. She took a step closer to him. "Maybe we could discuss it further," Blair pointed behind him, her arm deliberately skimming his chest as she did so, indicating the steam room, "over there."
~ At this point in my life
At this point in my life
I'd like to live as if only love mattered
As if redemption was in sight
As if the search to live honestly
Is all that anyone needs
No matter if you find it~
"Why do you bother with me, V?" Scott scratched his head, looking down at her. "Why do you waste your time giving advice to a grumpy old guy who's not gonna appreciate it?"
V stomped her foot, gripping his shirt sleeve harder. "Because you are. Or, you should. It's good advice, Scott, and grumpy or not, I -- care about you. Beneath all the bristles and grumps and groans, there's a good man." Her voice was earnest. "Don't waste your life, Scott; it's worth too much."
Scott studied her, his forehead furrowing. "A crossroads, huh?" he murmured, tilting his head slightly, the pressure of V's fingers against his arms suddenly very much in the forefront of his mind. "Then I choose," he lifted his other arm to V's waist, tugging her gently until she was standing in front of him, "this." Slowly, giving her a chance to pull away if she wanted to, Scott dropped his lips to V's, covering them with his own. She was soft, she was so soft, was his first thought, as he caught her lower lip gently between both of his. Cookie dough, was his second. V Ardanowski's lips tasted like cookie dough. And, then, as her lips parted gently, sweetly under his, all thoughts fled his mind.
~You see when I've touched the sky
The earth's gravity has pulled me down
But now I've reconciled that in this world
Birds and angels get the wings to fly
If you can believe in this heart of mine
If you can give it a try
Then I'll reach inside and find and give you
All the sweetness that I have~
"A daughter?" Carly sat up, staring at him, her heart beginning to pound sluggishly for reasons she wasn't sure how to name. "How is that a bomb, Jerry?"
"I didn't know about her, Carly," he said, intently, dropping all pretense about an unnamed 'man'. "I swear to god, if I'd known--" Jerry broke off, his jaw clenching tightly. "Doesn't matter; I didn't. Her mum and I never -- it was one night, and we were both kids. So, I never knew, until they told me, same night I told them I wanted out. I didn't leave, of course. How could I when they were holding my daughter over my head, always promising one more job and they'd give me more details, a name, a face." His breathing was labored; was he actually going to tell her? Yes. Yes, it seemed he was. "I searched for her for five years, from the moment I knew she existed. And, six months ago, I found out who she was, only to realize that for so long, my daughter had been right under my nose. All I'd had to do was reach out," Jerry gently slipped his hand out from under Carly's grip, and lifted it to her cheek, caressing it lightly, "and touch her."
"Oh my God," Carly whispered, her eyes wide beyond all belief, the color draining from her cheeks. She jerked her cheek away from his touch, clenching her fingers into fists. "You're my father."
~At this point in my life
At this point in my life~*
