As far as I'm concerned, the best way to talk about Todd, the REAL Todd, is as if he died in Ireland. The man that came back from Ireland broke my heart in a million different ways, and no, it wasn't all about Blair. It's just that in so many ways, that man was not Todd. Or at least, he wasn't the Todd I wanted him to be.

So, this time, what is it that I want? As a OLTL viewer who despairs at the current state of the show, I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to admit that I want a lot. I'm greedy; I want Todd to provide me a reason to watch this show again. And here's the things I want to see in order for him to do so:

*Intelligence -- I like my Todd clever, witty, capable of putting two and two together and getting four - and sometimes five. Give him a brain, give him a place to use it (ie. The Sun), and give him intelligent people to use it on/with (ie. NOT Kelly).

*Humor -- One of the things I hated about post-Ireland Todd, especially immediatly post-Ireland, was that he seemed to have lost his ability to laugh and to make other laugh. Todd's at his best when wickedly funny; part of what I adore about him is his admittedly sick sense of humor. Todd says the things the rest of the Llanview-ians only dare to think; take that away from him, make him all sturm und drang, and you've only got half a Todd. After this long, damnit,I want the whole thing!

*A Woman -- Does it have to be Blair? No, though I'd like that an awful lot . (More on that in the next editorial). But, let me be clear here, PC-ness be darned, I want to see Todd in a relationship. Not a one-sided exercise in machocism, like the Todd/Tea farce, but a real relationship, give-and-take, humor and love and lust and growth and, yes, sex. And, in this area, to be honest, I could not possibly care less what Roger Howarth wants. He's an actor, not a writer, not a producer, not a director. I sympathize with his desire not to make a rapist a desirable, sexual creature, but I don't think that the complexity that is Todd can be reduced to one word, rapist. In a nutshell -- hook Todd up. And, do it right.

*A Soul -- This is really it, you know. At least for me. The thing that makes Todd Todd, the thing I want most for Todd -- a soul. A soulless Todd was a fascinating creature, but not one I care to spend a lot of time with. The thing that makes him so addictive is that despite it all, despite all he's done, all he's been, all that's been done to him, this man has a soul. Tarnished and dented and none to clean, but intact, nonetheless. Don't get me wrong, I don't want him good. Hell, no! What I want is to know, to see the thing that shines from him when he holds his daughter, and know that that, too, is Todd. As much as the other thing, the darker thing, is.

What I don't so much care about? Therapy. Redemption. As far as I'm concerned, Todd had his moments of redemption -- rescuing Marty from that car crash, loving Blair, making Starr. That's enough for me; I know he's not the man he was when he was Frat Boy #1. And, I don't want him shiny and polished and new. Therapy, well, I can't say I have much interest in a Todd Does Therapy storyline. The stuff with Ray in the prison, way back when, that was enough of that for me. A white-washed Todd holds no interest for me. I want REAL Todd, the Todd Manning I fell in love with all those years ago, the guy who took the 'Most Pathetic' label and made it something to be proud of. I want him back, and truthfully, I'm at the point where I'm not willing to accept anything less. Crumbs, moments, glimpses -- they aren't enough any more. I want Todd Manning back, all the way and for real. Nothing more. But, certainly, certainly nothing less.

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