Todd and Vicki -- Goodbye
Okay, I'll admit it. I've never been a huge Vicki fan. She's fine, in small doses, and I'll admit that Llanview wouldn't be the same without her. But, she's not a character I've ever been extremely passionate about. However, her relationship with Todd has always, until very recently, moved me. Something about the way she sees herself in him; something about the way he's always been particularly tender with her. I don't know what it is. But, these unlikely siblings -- they move me. As they did here, in Todd's farewell to Vicki, the last time he left Llanview.
Viki: Oh Joe, my darling Joe. It doesn’t really seem possible that you’ve been gone for 20 years. Oh, our boys are all grown up now. Kevin’s gotten married. To Dorian’s daughter of all people. I guess I’ll never be free of her. He’s become a fine newspaper man, Joe, just like you were. And Joey--he’s in love again, I think. (long pause) I’m not doing so well though. I still miss you so much, Joe. So much. (rises and sits on stone bench) You know, Clint got married again. He said he felt as though his life was passing him by. Can’t say as I blame him. But it was very hard for our little girl, for Jessica. But that’s not really fair is it? I guess that would have happened anyway. My little girl--(closes eyes) she’s pregnant. And she’s run away, and I don’t know where she is; I don’t know how she is. (sighs) I know that I can’t protect my children from life, Joe, but it’s hard. It’s so hard. I couldn’t even help my brother! I so desperately wanted to believe in Todd, and I guess I needed to vindicate myself somehow, my own struggle. And, all I ended up doing was giving him all the weapons he needed to hurt me, everything. (shrugs) It’s all my own fault.
Todd: (walking in) Nah, it’s not your fault.
Viki: What’re you doing here?
Todd: Same thing you are, Sis.
Viki: What do you want?
Todd: Nothing. I thought this might be a nice place to say good-bye. (looking around) Remember the last time we were here together?
Viki: Yes. (quietly and coldly) You had just come back from Ireland, and found Blair and Patrick together, and you wanted revenge on the whole world. (looks up at him)
Had enough yet?
Todd: (shrugs) I said I was a lost cause, and you told me I could be saved. So tell me something, Viki; after all this, after everything we’ve just been through, do you still think I can be saved?
Viki: (rises) I guess that’s as close to an apology as you’re ever going to get.
Todd: I’m not apologizing. But, I’m not making excuses either.
Viki: (sharply) No, you never do. You wait for me to make them for you; that’s our pattern.
Todd: Then don’t.
Viki: I’m working on it. Obviously having me on your side hasn’t done you any big favors.
Todd: Look, Viki, if you’re gonna bother hating me, don’t. I’m way ahead of you.
Viki: I don’t hate you, Todd.
Todd: What is it you do feel, Viki, huh? Frustration? Shame?
Viki: (nodding slightly) It’s in that ballpark, I guess. You’re not Victor Lord. No matter how much you try to make yourself into him.
Todd: Do you think I managed to break the pattern?
Viki: Doesn’t mean you can’t still lead a miserable life. And hurt everyone who ever tried to love you.
Todd: (after a moment) Well, I guess I’ll see you then. Any last great insights for the road?
Viki: (shakes her head) No. You know, I thought you had to be a part of my salvation, and I was so wrong. Because you and I are not different sides of the same coin. We are two totally different people, and you can’t find yourself looking in my mirror.
Todd: No. We had a pretty good run at it though, didn’t we?
Viki: (intensely) You really hurt me.
Todd: (tears in his voice) And, I’m sorry. The prospect of 350 years in jail clouded my judgment.
Viki: (looks at him levelly) You’re right to leave.
Todd: I’ll miss you.
Viki: (faces starts to crumple; she controls it) You need to go someplace where the only voice you hear is your own.
Todd: There are -- a lot of voices in my head, Viki.
Viki: That’s what I mean. You know, you thought you were so clever coming up with all those other personalities. The joke’s on you, Todd, ‘cause they’re all a part of you. You need to listen to them; you need to listen very carefully and put them all together. And then, you’ll find Todd.
Todd: Alright. And what do I do with ‘Todd’ when I’ve found ‘Todd’?
Viki: He’ll know. I don’t. But, I really hope (whispers) that he’ll come back and see me because I think I’d be very interested to meet him.
(Todd reaches out and with a shaking hand, touches Viki’s cheek lightly. They manage to smile gently at one anther, exchanging their last good-byes with their eyes. Todd leaves, and Viki is left alone in the cemetery, with sad eyes and a slight smile).
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