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         King of The Hill: B+                                  The Simpsons: A                        Malcolm In The Middle: A

Thursday Night- A Tale of 5 Series (December 27)
      Always amazing is how so many series prosper on Thursday night (typically, a least 5 draw more than 18 million viewers), and how some can do so badly with such a good lead-in. So I sat down and had a look at NBC's 8-10pm sitcom line-up, a ratings (and quality) jig-saw is there ever was one, and the 10th installment in the "Survivor: Africa" series. (NB- no fierce competition between the series in Canada. The network that airs all 5 runs "Friends/Inside Schwartz" at 7pm, "Survivor" at 8pm, then "Will & Grace/Just Shoot Me") at 9pm.
     Starting off with "Friends," I must say it's the best of the Thursday bunch by a long shot. This particular episode revolved around Monica and Chandler going off on their honey-moon (and literally going off on a couple just ahead of then who always giot the free stuff), Rachel telling Ross he's "the father," them watching the ultrasound, and Phoebe and Joey doing basically nothing. I really laughed when Rachel couldn't find the baby on the ultrasound- and subsequently when she couldn't point it out to Joey and Phoebe. The honeymoon storyline was kind of amusing, as was Ross freaking out about condoms not having a warning label stating they're only "97%" effective. Not amusing at all were Phoebe and Joey. It seemed to me that the writers finished the main story-lines, then threw Phoebe and Joey in where they could because they hadn't been given anything to do. But as "Friends" fans know, these two can and have been the funniest characters on the series. Give them something to do already.
     At 8:30pm came "Inside Schwartz." It was not as bad a many critcs have made it out to be, but it wasn't very funny either. In this one, the title character (I think), eventually decides to get back together with his ex. Eh. Lame, but harmless. In the same category was "Survivor: Africa." My gripe with this one, as with the last one, is that all the players seem to like each other. The first "Survivor" was driven by hatred and back-stabbing, this one feels like everybody is on an episode of, ironically, "Friends."
Maybe that's why the NBC comedy is beating "Africa" by so much, both feel like the same show, only one is funnier. And a bunch of rich, white Americans complaining of hunger on an Kenyan savannah, a place where life expectancy is only 47 years? Don't even get me started on that one. You'd think with the millions CBS is making off this series, it would set up some iniatives in the country to improve life. But this is network tv we're talking about here, where the last merciful act completed was the cancellation of "Emeril."
      A pleasant surprise at 9pm was "Will & Grace." I had avoided this series last season because the characters were just so mean to each other- it sucked the comedy right out of the show. Fortunately, the series has taken some of the mean edge off of Karen and Jack, but left them with a funny edge. In this one, Will gets nervous speaking in front of a camera, Grace falls in love with Karen's lifestyle. It wasn't as funny as "Friends," but it was a marked improvement over the last episode I watched. But the jig-saw continued at 9:30pm with "Just Shoot Me." A marginal show if I has ever saw one, the only thing that sticks out about this series are the bones of the models who occasionally guest star. And even their roles have been reduced to nothing to make room for David Spade's burgeoning ego. Every episode seems to be the same. Nina is scary/wacky, Finch is creepy, Maya gets insulted, Eliot gets mad, Maya's father acts like a father figure. A note to creator Steve Levitan- I understand why this show was lame while "NewsRadio" was still on the air- your attention was focused on that infinitely superior show. But "Radio"s been gone for 3 seasons. Why isn't "JSM" any better?

  Friends: A-                     Inside Schwartz:  C              Survivor: Africa:  B-              Will & Grace: B+               Just Shoot Me: D+

The Simpsons/Malcolm In The Middle (December 16)
     Unfortunately, this week's installement only verified what I had eluded to last week: "The Simpsons" is on the slippery slope to being crap. This episode saw Lisa converting to Buddism, after being dismayed with the commercial advertizing her church starting accepting to rebuild after Homer and Bart destroyed it with their rocket. The episode was well set out, as are most "Simpsons," only the jokes weren't there. Rather, they were there, but they weren't funny. The end, which saw Lisa celebrating Christmas, but keeping to her Buddist beliefs, was pure sugary crap. A total disappointment.
     But on the up side, this weeks installement of "Malcolm in The Middle" reversed what I had thought "MITM" had turned into after last week's episode. Fed up with the boy's destruction, Lois cancels Christmas. The episode got the boys back to being boys, notoff at some party making out with "sophmores." Meanwhile, Francis visits his cranky old grandmother in Whitehorse (so Lois is Canadian... let embarrassment ensue), only to discover that she's... a very cranky women. The jokes were there, they were funny, and "Malcolm" is officially the funnier than "The Simpsons."

                                                                                  The Simpsons: C      Malcolm: A

Saturday Night Live (December 15)
     We're going to grade this show in two parts, because frankly, this show is splitting itself into two distinct sections. First of all, the non-Weekend Update part of the show. What a vile peice of puke. Even host Ellen DeGeneres couldn't save this one. It wasn't funny, and worse yet, it didn't even seem like it was trying to be funny. Skit after skit I watched, hoping it would get better, but it just didn't. The worst? The two "Christmas" skits near the end, one about a family leaving for a vacation, only to worry about the tap they left running, and another one about a father trying to integrate his new love into the family. BORING.
     And now for the Weekend Update. Only once in a blue moon comes a truely golden tv moment. And this was it. As Tina Fey announced that this would be the last WU of the year 2001, who knew that she would be introducing Rudy Gulianni? Then he strolled out for the last time as mayor of New York, they sang a song ("Will you still love me tomorrow?"), and he was actually funny. Then Tina Fey asked him, "will we still love you tomorrow?- This is New York, who knows." The same applies to this series, will it be funny? Who knows.
    Oh, bonus marks for the joke- "NBC announced this week that it will be the first network in 50 years to accept advertizements for hard liquor. Not to be outdone, Fox announced that it will be accepting ads for crack." And more bonus marks for Tina Fey's bitterness at the beginning concerning anthrax popping up in a de-thraxed building. "Good thing we didn't have anthrax in this building. Oh wait we DID."
                                                                                 non WU: C-      WU: A+

Law & Order: SVU (December 14)
     Classic example of a series with good ideas, good execution, but poor acting and scripts. The plot was very good- a woman is murdered, a suspect is a male stripper who performed at her birthday party a few weeks ago who claims he was raped by her and two of her lawyer friends. Turns out the death was accidental, but then the focus turns to getting a conviction on the rape.
The plot twist comes near the end when the detectives learn that the dead woman had just settled a civil suit with the stripper, implicating her and her friends. So the friends killed her to keep her quite. Nice job, "SVU."
    Wish I could say the same for your actors and scriptwriters. The dialogue was lame, and the actors didn't try to hide it. My suggestion? Cancel this show and give the plotlines to the much better original "L&O."
                                                                            C+

The Amazing Race (December 13)
    Possibly the most heart breaking piece of entertainment television of the year (if you were rooting for the New Yorkers), the series finished it's first leg with a bang. During the entire episode, anxiety was building as the top 2 teams raced from Anchorage to New York, literally neck and neck (they arrived in Newark on the same plane). The two roommates from LA had soem luck and caught the train to Shea stadium before the New York couple. As they raced towards the finish line, the scene was intercut with the New Yorkers on the train, thinking they had won, reflecting on the neighborhood they grew up in. Heartbreaking because I had been rooting for them. Heartbreaking because it was obvious they could use the money so much more than the LA roommates.
    As for me, I can't wait for "The Amazing Race 2." Truly the cream on the reality crop.
                                                                              A+

My Wife & Kids (December 12)
    A funny, Cosby-ish episode, this show reminds me why me need more sitcoms of this type on tv. The father (Damon Wayans, don't know his character's name) gives his kids each $10, challenging them to turn the money into profit by the end of the week. The oldest daughter starts her own hair salon (using mom's expensive hair products), the youngest daughter holds a yard sale, selling things from the house, while the son starts gambling. Funny, sweet, what an 8pm sitcom used to be, as opposed to "Friends."
                                                                              B+

According To Jim (December 12)
    After reading reviews of this series, I expected something much worse. What I found was not great by any means, but it was not horrible. Jim and the wife prepare for her mother's annual Christmas visit. Mom is very hard on the wife (again with the names), and she eventually has a fall-out with her. While the episode was filled with typical sitcom jokes, they weren't all bad. The end was a bit overly sweet, but all in all, not too bad.
                                                                              B-

Malcolm In The Middle/ The Simpsons
    When trying to figure out the drop in ratings for "Malcolm In The Middle" and "The Simpsons," (both off more than 15%), I had attributed it to outside factors. People were distracted by the football season. The collapse of ratings for "The X-Files" was obviously effecting both shows. But after seeing the shows for the first time this season, I've realized that the drop-off has had more to do with quality than competition.
    Starting with "The Simpsons," all I can say is disappointing. The episode started out with Marge pining over some paper towel mascot, leading into Homer freaking out about something in his past. Ultimately, the body of Waylon Smither's dead father is drudged up, which is why Homer was freaking out. The episode did have some crafty turns, and every thing the episode tied into something else later on, which was nice. But nice isn't funny. And the episode fell into this category.
    But even more nice, but not funny was "Malcolm In The Middle." It seems to be going through a third season slump, much like another once great show did in it's third season. ("Dharma & Greg"). The episode revolved around Dewey taking care of a hampster, Malcolm and Reese sneaking out to a party, Francis getting in a fight with some older woman, and Hal waiting on the results from a tumor biopsy. Yes, the last one was a part of this episode. And none of it was funny. What's more, I don't understand why the show's writers have changed these characters so much. Francis isn't in the military academy anymore, he's up north, as far as I can tell. Malcolm is no longer a dork, he was making out with some "sophmore" at the party. And a cancer biopsy? Change is not always good, "MITM," just ask "Dharma & Greg."
                                                     The Simpsons: B   Malcolm In The Middle:   C

Friends (December 6)
    It's amazing how a show can go 8 seasons, generally like one season, cultural whipping boy the next. That show is "Friends." Since it's an even number, or something like that, it's "Friends" turn to be liked again. And I suppose I'm one of those people. The show was actually funny (unlike the last time I remember watching it). The subplot about Monica's boots was something I could actually relate too, except in my case I didn't have money to buy anothe rpairs so I really had no choice. But I kind of related. The only thing I didn't like about the episode was how shrill Phoebe was. Almost unlikable. Was she always like this?

                                                                                    B+

The Amazing Race (December 5)
     What a thoroughly interesting series. Pleasantly surprised when I turned on the set and saw the crew was in BeiJing, even more surprised when I learned their next destination was Alaska. The teams are involving, the race interesting, the production good. My only gripe: it makes me feel bad about my own life. When am I going to live my own personal "Amazing Race?"

                                                                                A-

Dharma & Greg (December 4)
    Sadly enough, this series has aged very poorly. In this just underwealming effort, Greg has to try to cover up his plans to go fishing lest he upset Abby. Why would Abby be upset? She was eating meat during her pregnancy only last season. Turns out he's not really going fishing. To where I don't know. I can see the writers trying hard to get this series back to it's roots, and good for them. But the actors don't really seem to be into it anymore, and it may be too little too late.

                                                                                    C

Ed (July 25)
    Two weeks ago when I first reviewed this series, I said I wasn't quite sure why I would continue watching it. Now I know. It's comfort television. It's not particularly compelling in any certain way, but perhaps that's because I don't know any of the characters. This episode involved a plot about Ed's new girlfriend moving away, and the other girl being jealous over her. In another, much funnier sublpot, John Goodman guested as the former owner of the Stuckeybowl who wanted to buy the alley back. So when Ed wouldn't sell it, he tried to sabotage the place with the help of the bowling alley guy (Okay- if anybody out there knows the names of these people email me. I'm tired of calling them the "guy" and "girl"). I really liked Goodman in the role, if only to see him back in a good network series.
    But as for "Ed," it seems to be strattling that fine "dramedy" line that "Ally McBeal" so successfully walked during its first season. Let's just hopeit doesn't fall off like so mnay of these shows inevitably do.
                                                B+

Murder In Small Town X (July 24)
    Before I write this, I miust admit that I am not a huge fan of reality based series. But this show isn't one per se. It is in the sense that 10 "regular" people from across the country were chosen to go to a small town in Maine and solve a ficticious murder. Well, at least I hope it was ficticious. Fox never really let on to it, and the 10 investigators treated the murder like a real thing. One of them even said they has goosebumps ion entering the crime scene. The show is infinitely more interesting than ABC's dud "The Mole," and it does play out like a tv movie murder mystery. On viewing the first episode, I found this series to be a whole lot of fun, a fresh summer strawberry among the rotten turnips that is summer fare nowadays. Okay, so now you can really tell I work in the produce department of the Sobey's grocery chain, but the truth is that I am looking forward to the second installment of this series.  My only gripe? The network that broadcasts the show in Canada- CTV, showed the second episode preview before the final scenes of the first show. Why is this bad? The previews gave away which investigator would be murdered, before the final scenes actually revealed it. Nice going CTV. At least Fox had the taste to air the preview during the closing credits.

                   Murder: A-  CTV:F

The Simpsons (July 22)
    Be forewarned: the episode will recieve at least an "A" for being the only show outside of "Suddenly Susan" to use my favorite singer,  Shawn Colvin.
    One of the best episodes from last season, the Simpsons try to aid in Ned's moving on from Maude's death by destroying all of her stuff. The one thing they do now destory, however, is Maude's plans' for "Praiseland," a Christian theme park. The park is a bust, but crowds come when the statue of Maude starts to give people visisons. Turns out it's just a gas leak, but the episode is definitely a keeper. The highlight: Flanders' trying to make over his Christian rock flame (Shawn Colvin) to look like Maude, including cutting her hair while she's sleeping. The lowlight? Unlike recent installments of "The Simpsons," I can't think of one.
                                               A

King of The Hill (July 22)
    What happens when Peggy unwittingly takes in a prostitute and Hank unknowningly acts as her pimp? This superior episode,which easily ranks as one of the whittiest this series has ever produced. Not an easy feat for a series as good as this one. The story: a new girl starts working at Strickland propane, except she's not very good. Peggy takes her under her wing and let's her move into their spare room. Neither Peggy nor Hank can figure out why her dates are so short (leading to the hilarious line during which Hank says he'll find somebody for the girl. Peggy: He better be interesting. Her dates only last an hour.) When her pimp from Oklahoma City comes looking for her, Hank realizes what her become: the mack daddy or Arlen. Add in a slutted-up Peggy and you have one hell of a ride.
                                              A

Ed (July 11)
    As a first time viewer, I'm not quite sure what to make of this series. Like its fans say, it is different than anything else on the air. It takes elements of "Ally McBeal" (courtroom antics), "Seinfeld" (pointless banter) and "The Simpsons" (a town filled with oddball characters) and mixes them together very well. This particular episode was filled with plots, one about Ed fixing his potential girlfriend's (don't know all their names yet) plumbing, about him defending a guy accused of feeding empty parking meters and a bowling alley guy trying to come up with a new catchphrase (only to settle on "shave my poodle"). The show does have some very funny moments- watching the woman sweat it out trying to come up with captions for greeting cards was hilarious. But the bottom line is nothing sticks out in this series as a reason to tune in again. In an era where tv shows have to be mean ("Will & Grace"), crude ("Titus") or filled with sex talk ("Sex In The City," "Friends".... ad naseum) to stick out from the crowd, "Ed," like "Once & Again," is one of those shows just doesn't have enough "hooks" to make it. That doesn't mean it isn't good, it just means it has to keep making good shows and hope people notice it.

                                        B+

Friends / Whose Line Is It Anyway? (July 5)
    I was watching "Friends" on Thursday night thinking- "this isn't a bad episode." There were numerous, if insignificant, plotlines. something involving Joey trying to get his parents invited to "the wedding," Monica trying to come up with a seating plan for the reception, Chandler freaking out because he didn't have enough "flags" on the seating plan. Oh, and something about Rachel kissing a girl in her college days. All was well and good. Until, that is, I watched the 8:30pm edition of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
    I was reduced to tears of laughter too many times to count during the half hour. "Whose Line?" doesn't have a plotline, so what? Did "Friends" really? And what "Whose Line?" doesn't have in a plotline, it way more than make up for in plain old laughs. Try not busting a gut while Ryan Stiles and Colin Mocherie play off each other during the banter of "Compilation CD" and during the film noir scenes. I'm increasingly convinced that Stiles and Mocherie are one of the best comedic duos on tv, ever.
    What I realized at 9pm in that "Friends" may be one of the best comedies on tv. But "Whose Line?" is the best, and it's miles above the rest.

                                Friends: C-       Whose Line Is It Anyway? A

Everybody Loves Raymond (June 25)
    What happens when Marie accuses Debra of not returning an old canister? Marie apologized to Debra when she swears she didn't take it. Huh? That's right, Marie actually apologized for something- anything. What happens when Debra finds the canister in her house and realizes that she can never give it back to Marie? Hilarity. Doris Roberts was strong as always is this sparkling easter episode, and Patricia Heaton showed exactely why she earned her emmy last year in her frantic bid to hide the canister from Marie. But the real laugh out loud scene when Ray and Robert shared a hug in order to hide the can from their apologetic mother. Only "Raymond" could build an entire episode around a canister. With minute material like this, "ELR" could go on forever. Let's hope it does.

                                                    A

Fear Factor (June 11, aired June 17 in Canada)
    I've seen many bad attempts at reality TV. "Big Brother" was a big bore. "The Mole" was, well, just not very good. But "Fear Factor" takes the cake. Former "Newsradio"er Joe Rogan hosts this fest where six contestants try to out do each other by letting a horse drag them through a muddy battlefield, let 400 rats crawl all over their bodies for 4 minutes and. in the last excrutiatingly horrible stunt, the contestants dangle hundreds of feet in the out trying to switched keys in a car, all while water is being pored over them. I cannot describe how bad this series is. First, it's not exciting- the producers cut to commercials right in the middle of the action, it's not very good (watch Rogan insesantly tell the players "You know, if he makes it, you're going to be eliminated...") and it's just plain disgusting. Instead of testing the endurance of the competitors, it tests the patience of viewers.
Oh yeah. and one final gripe- I want to see Rogan down in the pit with the rats instead of standing above telling contestants "You've only got a few more second to go!" Give me a break.

                                                   F

Malcolm In the Middle (June 17)
    Turns out the.... (hey, what is their last name?) aren;t the worst neighbours on the block. When the new neighbors move in, the family is intent on making friends. So they aren't the nicest family. The little girls likes to bite Reese, alot, the boy tells constant lies about Malcolm, at one point getting the entire neighbourhood to believe that he's a peeping tom. The funniest scene was when Dewey was skipping the the Malcolm is a peeping tom song, a close second was when Lois freaked out because the neighbours were slashing her hedge. And the more I watch Malcolm, the more I realize that it makes up for what "The Simpsons" isn't anymore.

                                                   A

The Simpsons (June 17)
    One of the more lackluster examples from last season, I fell asleep several times. From what I can recall, a new bully beats up on Lisa, so she sets out to find why the bully is doing it. Turns out it's something to do with hormones released by nerds, or whatever. In an insignificant subplot, Homer tries to baby proof Springfield.
                                                  C

King of The Hill (June 17)
    I haven't watched this series in a while, and I almost forgot how utterly enjoyable it is. In this one, Peggy becomes convinced that Randy Travis has stole one of her songs, so she sets out with the Arleners to try and get revenge as a fan fair event. She does get to talk to Travis, who proceeds to steal Peggy's childhood stories for his on-stage show. Peggy ends up tp-ing his trailor, only to inadvertendly kock it into a lake with Travis inside. It all turned out okay thanks to Hank, but the highlight of the episode for me was when Bobbie and Luanne were taking an apple brown betty to Brooks & Dunn, only to drop it on a field in a pile of horse manure. When Luanne said "quick, put it back in the pan, they'll never notice," I was left giggling.

                                                  B+
Nikki (June 10)
    Why oh why does Nikki Cox always get stuck in mediocre series? The talented actress first wained in "Unhappily Ever After," then took a thankless role in "Norm," and now languishes in the sub-par "Nikki." This episode revolved around a humourless subplot-ish story about Nikki and her new hubby fighting over the guy next door. There wasn't really any comedy to be seen, but Nikki Cox and her co-star look like, given a good vehicule, they could became a classic sitcom pair. They have a very comfortable energy, which is the only reason why I stuck throught the entire episode.

                                             C
For Your Love (June 10)
    After abandoning this series when it went to the WB three seasons ago, I must say I was not impressed with it when I finally caught up with it again. No longer familiar with the names of the characters, Holly Robinson Pete was about to have a baby, and it seemed her husband was in competition with her to see who was in the most pain. She dismissed his pained- and in a plotline I swear I've seen five different times, it turns out her was in real pain with appendicitis. How drole. Oh yeah, and some other guy was tempted by a woman from his past. My knee was red from slapping it. The only thing I found funny at all in this series was Deedee Pfeiffer, who shined in Cybill and a one episode role on Ellen a few years back. Hey, now that's "Love"s cancelled, maybe she can get her own series.
                                                 D
The Family Guy (May 29)
    Some critics have ostrisized this series for stealing too heavily from "The Simpsons." But I say, what a better series to steal from? Initially hating this series, I started watching it last summer and liked it, and now I like it even more. In this funny installment, the son (sorry, don't remember all of their names) becomes self-conscious after some store-clerks torment him for being fat. Lois commands Peter to help him lose weight, which he does. When exercising doesn't work, in a plot right out of "The Simpsons," Peter winds up taking his son to get liposuction, only to buff his self up instead. This turns Peter into an ego maniac, especially after the Quahog Beautiful People club accepts him into their ranks. It all unravels in the end, but it's still manically funny. Oh, and one of the best reasons to tune into the show- Stewie. This time the baby from hell eats himself fat trying to torment his diet-restricted brother, leading to a very funny scene of the baby on the ground not able to get up. All in all, an
                                                A-

Dharma & Greg (May22)
    Being one of the biggest fans of this series, I am saddened to say that it had been getting progressively less funny with each episode last season. And the finale was no exception. In case you didn't know, Dharma & Greg borke up because Dharma hid a letter from an admirer, but wound up reconsiling by the end of the episode in one of the most romantic scenes on tv this season. But the final scene is what really surprized me. With Greg driving, the two swirved to hit a dear and we watched their car flip over twice. When Greg asked Dharma "Are you okay?" she responded "I don't think so." I can't say the episode was very funny, because it wasn't. I can't even say the accident scene was well done. because it wasn't. But when the thought of Dharma being seriously injured finally hit me, I almost shed a tear. Almost.
                                                B

Once & Again (January 17)
    As a new viewer to this stellar series, I am at once amazed at how complex it is, yet on the other hand I am comforted by how easy it is to slip into. This one has a new guy coming to try to take over the e-zine, which ticks off Lily's boss. Lily accidently sides with him, which ticks off her boss too. And who really saw Lily being being fired coming? Add in the trinket of Lily upseting her sister and Grace & Zoey trying to redefine their sisterly relationship, and you have a grand episode that defied my boring expectations.
                                             A
Dharma & Greg  (January 16)
    It's too bad this series is falling to record low ratings- it's soooo good. In this one, Dharma can't handle the fact that Greg has a secret box that he want to keep private, but he thinks it's perfectly
fine. And amusing subplot had Larry looking for the perfect "fat" gift for Abby, only to come up with a poncho. In all, nice and easy, and very funny.
                                            B+
The Simpsons (January 7)
    All the while I was watching this episode, I kept wondering if it was a repeat. Every time a new scene came up, I kept sensing that I has seen the episode before. Turns out I hadn't. Every idea in this episode was recycled: Homer becomes smart, he clicks better with Lisa, Barney admits to being a guinea pig. Right down the the comic-book guy wearing a shirt that said "Worst Convention Ever," this show was stale. Is this was "The Simpsons" has come to?
                                            C-
Malcolm In The Middle (January 7)
    There couldn't have been a better episode to mark this series one year anniversary. Malcolm breaks an old women's arm, Francis let's his best friend "hang" himself in military school, Dewey carries a purse. Absolutely gold.
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