Chapter 4: Don't Say Never
Chapter 4:
Sheridan reminisced while drinking some wine. She looked carefully at the glass that she so dearly held in her hand. If she had not been drinking that night, would things have been different now, she thought. Of course they would, but no one made her drink that night. She took another zip of the white wine and closed her eyes to savor the taste. She then swallowed it and placed the glass down on the coffee table. Her mind was reeling with thoughts of the dreadful night. The events that had transpired that day were so damaging that they shattered her once happy marriage.
She replayed the events over in her mind, time and again. Something just didn’t sit right with what happened. Though she had confronted Luis and tried to talk to him, he just wouldn’t listen and how could she blame him. She would have done the same if the roles were reversed. There was a time in her life when she thought that Luis would never be her husband. Through all the hardships and stumbling blocks, it seemed as though love did prevail. However, short lived there marriage was it was so magical and inspiring. There love was like a fairytale, but in this case they didn’t quite live happily ever after.
When she had told her nephew Ethan about her true feelings for Luis three years ago, she had also mentioned that she was afraid Luis’ would not share the same feelings. She clearly remembers Ethan’s simple, yet subtle response. “Don’t say never” Three simple words that made Sheridan really think that perhaps there was a chance he shared the same sentiments as she did. Despite the obvious attraction, Sheridan was afraid that the chemistry alone would not equal a loving bond. But she was wrong, the more time she spent with Luis, the more she realized how much she needed him and just what true love was really like. Luis had been so romantic and always swept her off her feet.
These painful recollections made Sheridan long for what she once held so dear. Perhaps they could still be a chance that he would take her back, or was it too late. A tear trickled down Sheridan’s cheek and she quickly wiped it away, almost as if she felt she had no right to do so. It was her fault Luis had filed for a divorce and there was nothing she could do to change her past mistakes. In her heart the events that occurred that night seemed blurred and what really happened still remained a puzzling mystery to her.
She started to drift to sleep and as she closed her eyes flashbacks of the night haunted her all night.
“Luis please let me explain. It’s not what it looks like..” Sheridan said trembling. She had began to cry and Luis was furious.
“What does it look like then? How could you Sheridan? How could you do this to us?” Luis asked angrily.
“I can’t deal with us. I have to leave.” Luis said as he headed towards the door.
“Please Luis….Please don’t leave me…Just let me explain..” Sheridan cried as he reached the door.
“I love you” Sheridan said barely above a whisper. She was on the floor practically begging for Luis to come back and let her explain.
“I love you too, but its clear you didn’t love me as much as I love you.” Luis said solemnly with a rather neutral expression on his face.
“Luis…please…” Sheridan begged. Her hands were shaking and she was trying to stop herself from crying so she could talk to Luis.
“Goodbye Sheridan” Luis said sadly as he looked one last time at his wife and walked out of her life. That wasn’t the last time she would see Luis, but it remained the last time they would ever be together in their house.
Sheridan awoke suddenly and she was trembling violently. The events were so fresh in her mind as if it were yesterday.
*Goodbye Sheridan*
were Luis’ final words to her that night. They plagued her until she became so saddened by the events that she often contemplated suicide. Without Luis would reason did she have to live. There was no reason to go on without him by her side. She loved him too much to be without him.
She decided she would listen to some music so it could soothe her back to sleep. Perhaps if she listened to some music she wouldn’t feel so miserable. She turned the radio on and the soft melody drifted through the room and Sheridan closed her eyes and listened to the words. Hoping the music would put her to sleep.
Do you know
How it feels
Lying here without you baby
You could never understand, what’s happening to me
So alone
Nothing’s real
I just dream about you baby
And forever wonder why you had
To break free
(Chorus)
Even though you’re not my lover
Even though you’re not my friend
I would give my all
To have you here
Just to hold you once again
Sheridan began to cry and the words in the song made her reflect on how much she needed Luis. She needed just to hold him once again. She would give anything just to have him hold her tightly in her arms and profess his love for her.
It’s so hard
To believe
I don’t have you right beside me
As I long to touch you
But you’re out of my reach
And my heart doesn’t feel
It’s so very cold inside me
Just a shadow of someone that I used to be
Repeat Chorus
Bridge: You were the only one (only one)
That I allowed inside my heart
Now I’m just holding on
To something so far gone
Where did I go wrong
Repeat Chorus
Just to hold you once again
Once the song had ended, Sheridan was fast asleep and in her hand she clutched the photo of her and Luis tightly. The photo represented a time when there marriage was solid and no one would have guessed these two lovebirds could ever be torn apart.
To Be Continued…
