Chapter 1: Sheridan
Sheridan stared out the window of her cottage at the rain as it fell from the
sky and dripped from the eaves. The weather fit her mood perfectly and she
let out a huge sigh. She just couldn't understand it. She had everything a
woman could want... a top-notch education, gorgeous wardrobe, she was said to
be beautiful, and she had enough money to buy anything she desired.
Everything but what she wanted most. Why was the one thing she wanted most
in the world proving so elusive? She wanted someone to love her... something
that most women found long before they reached her age of 27.
She'd thought for a while that Luis could be that special someone, but she'd
just been deluding herself. They'd been through so much together... Santa
Fe...the imposter that her family had hired... and the drug dealers that had
been trying to kill her. After the truth about the imposter had come out Luis
had been incredibly forgiving about how she'd treated him and her hopes had
risen once again that they might have a future together. He'd seemed to want
the same thing and she allowed herself to imagine the life they could build
together. All those plans and hopes were dashed to pieces yesterday.
Although she tried to forbid her herself not to think about it, the ugly
memories of yesterday slammed into her mind....
**Sheridan's flashback**
Sheridan walked toward the Book Cafe, nearly bursting with happiness. The sun
was shining, birds were singing and all was right with her little world...
she had a date with Luis! "Ok, get a grip on yourself Sheridan," she told
herself. "You don't want to seem too desperate." She paused outside the
window of the Book Cafe, where she was due to meet Luis in half an hour. She
intended to check her hair in the reflection of the glass, but her mouth
gaped open at the sight she saw through the window. "Oh my..."
Luis was walking across the cafe... snuggled in his arms was Beth! Sheridan
watched as he carried her to the couch and slowly lay her down on it. The
back of the couch was facing the window and she saw Luis kneel down out of
sight... Sheridan could picture it though, Luis pressing himself to Beth as
they made out.
Sheridan's eyes burned with tears and she felt the bile rise in the back of
her throat as she turned away from the window. A pain filled sob escaped her
and she ran to her car, where she sat, trying to get a hold of her emotions.
She managed to drive herself home without incident and she spent the next
half hour crying as her heart was breaking again. Each time she was burnt by
men the pain was worse and this time she was sure she'd never survive. "Why?
Why do I always find myself attracted to the wrong men? Attracted..." she
laughed harshly "...I wish I was merely attracted... why did I have to go and
fall in love with him?" She gritted her teeth and snatched a vase of flowers
from the coffee table. "Damn him!!" she screamed, flinging the vase across
the room, where is smashed against the wall, shattering into a million
pieces. Just like her heart was doing now...
A knock on the door startled her and she scowled. It had to be Luis. She'd
never shown up for their date and now he was looking for her. Well, he could
damn well go back to Beth for all she cared. She didn't want to see him ever
again if she could help it. He continued to knock, and the knocks were
escalating into pounds. "Sheridan? Sheridan, are you alright? Sheridan!"
his voice was escalating in volume too. She cursed and went to the door. If
she didn't open it up he would probably break it down...
**end of Sheridan's flashback**
To Be Continued...
Chapter 2: Luis
Luis was trying to kill the punching bag in the youth center. He was wearing
only his cut-offs and working up a real sweat. He was, of course, thinking
about Sheridan. They'd finally gotten the imposter stuff cleared up and now
she was mad at him again. And, once again, he didn't have a clue why. He beat
on the bag like it was his worst enemy and thought about yesterday... he'd
been looking forward to his date with her...
**Luis' Flashback**
Luis drove to the Book Cafe, about 45 minutes early for his date. He'd tried
to wait at home, but he found himself at loose ends. He'd finally given up on
trying to read his new Sports Illustrated and headed for the cafe. Maybe, if
he was really lucky, Sheridan would be early too. If not, there was always
people to shoot the breeze with while he waited for her. He parked the
jeep, smiling as he thought about the date he had planned... Sheridan was
going to love it... he hoped.
He stepped into the cafe, surprised that it was all but deserted. There was
one older couple that was just paying the bill and that was it. Luis
approached the counter as the couple headed out the door. "Hey Beth." He
flashed her a toothy smile and she returned one. "Hi Luis"
"What's going on? The place is empty?" Beth frowned, "That new donut place
on the highway opened today. They're giving away free coffee for the
opening." Luis nodded, "Right, well, don't worry. As soon as the freebies
are over they'll all come flocking back here."
Beth gave him a wan smile and as she suddenly gripped the edge of the counter
Luis noticed how pale she looked. "Beth, are you okay?" "I'm fine..." Beth
began, just before the dizziness overcame her and she slid to the floor.
"Beth!" Luis flew around the counter and scooped her up. He strode across the
cafe and gently lay her on the couch, dropping to his knees beside her as she
started to stir. "Beth, are you okay?" Luis' heart was pounding. Even
though he had no romantic feelings for Beth he still cared very much for
her... she was one of his best friends.
She tried to sit up, still a little woozy. "I'm fine Luis." "I'm gonna take
you to the hospital," Luis stated firmly. "No Luis." "Yes Beth." He rose
to go to the phone. "No, I know what's wrong Luis." Luis stopped and
returned to the couch. "You know?" Beth nodded, as tears dripped down her
face. "I've already been to the doctor." Luis' mind automatically began to
gather reasons why someone would get dizzy. Beth's face showed such
devastation that he knew it must be horrible, like a brain tumour.
Therefore, when Beth said "I'm pregnant." Luis felt a quick surge of relief.
"I'm light headed because of the morning sickness. I can hardly keep any food
down."
Luis quickly got over his relief that she wasn't deathly ill... now he was
simply stunned. "Pregnant?" he asked.
To Be Continued...
Chapter 3:
**Luis' flashback, cont.**
"Pregnant? How?" That drew a small smile from Beth. "The usual way."
Luis scowled. "That's not what I meant... who's the father?" "Don't worry,
it's not you..." she joked, knowing full well it had been at least three
years since the last time they'd slept together. "Beth..." he said in an
ominous voice. Beth sobered. "It's Hank," she replied softly. "Hank?" Luis
was incredulous. "I didn't know you two were together... I thought he was
still determined to get Sheridan."
Beth gave a harsh laugh. "Yeah, he is. Seems that all the men in my life are
nuts about her. What is it? The bottled blonde look? Cause I could do that...
no problem." Luis wasn't listening to Beth's rantings... he was too angry.
"I'm gonna kill him..." "No Luis, it wasn't like that," Beth sighed. "It
was just one night... we both wanted it... we were both wishing it were
someone else..." She met his eyes and Luis knew she was talking about him.
"Does Hank know yet?" Beth nodded. "And?" he asked. "He told me he'd pay
for whatever I decided..." Luis was livid. "You mean he suggested an
abortion?" Beth covered her abdomen with her hands. "I could never do that
Luis. I could never kill my baby." This was a whole new side of Hank that
Luis was seeing, and he wasn't liking it much. "That Bastard!" "Luis, he's
not worth it... promise me you won't do anything." She saw the determined
glint in his eye and the set of his jaw. "Promise me!" Luis reluctantly
nodded, "Yeah, alright."
Beth sighed. "Chad is due here in a couple minutes. I'm going to go upstairs
and lie down for a while. Can you wait for him and tell him I'm not feeling
well?" Luis nodded again. He stood and scooped Beth up again, heading for
the door to Beth's apartment. "Luis, put me down!" "No, I'm taking you
upstairs, stop squirming before I drop you."
Beth gazed at his strong handsome face and sighed. "There really is no
chance for us is there? You love her." "Sheridan?" Luis paused. "Well, I
don't know about love, but she makes me feel things I've never felt before
with anyone." He saw the pain flash across her face. "I'm sorry Beth..."
"It's okay Luis. You can't force feelings, Lord knows, I've tried."
"You know I love you Beth... we've been friends for so long. I'd do anything
for you." "I know Luis. I appreciate that more than you know." Luis
carried her into the bedroom and settled her gently on the bed. "You get
some rest now. I'll go wait for Chad." "Thanks Luis." Beth gave him a small
smile as he left the room.
Luis went back down to the cafe, seeing that Kay and Simone had come in while
he was upstairs. He gave them coffees and then Chad arrived. It was then that
he realized Sheridan was late. Had she shown up while he was upstairs and
left? He decided to check her cottage... the phone rang until her machine
picked it up. Well, he would just go over there... it wasn't like Sheridan
to be late.
He was really eager to see her. He wanted to talk to her about Beth... he had
to vent some of his anger at Hank. Also, he knew Beth could really use a
female friend right now. Sheridan would be glad to spend some time with her,
he figured.
Her car was in the drive when he arrived and he went up to the door and
knocked. He knew she was inside... he could make out her shape on the couch
through her gauzy curtains. When she didn't answer he called her name and
pounded louder.
He saw movement through the curtain and the door swung open, to reveal
Sheridan with a very hard expression on her face. "What do you want Luis?"
her voice was icy cold. Luis was surprised that she'd be so upset, just
because he wasn't there when she'd arrived at the Book Cafe. "Sheridan, I
can explain..." She suddenly looked furious.
**end of Luis' flashback**
Luis continued to pound at the bag, getting more confused and angry by the
second. He just didn't get it.
To Be Continued...
Chapter 4:
Sheridan didn't want to think about yesterday anymore, but she couldn't seem
to erase the events from her mind. She was in the kitchen, baking...
something she liked to do when she was upset. She whipped the cake batter in
her bowl furiously, telling herself that Luis wasn't worth all this grief.
All she wanted to do was forget about Luis and Beth and the whole damn town
of Harmony. She just wanted to stop feeling. Unfortunately that wasn't an
option, and neither was trying not to think about last night...
**flashback**
"Sheridan, I can explain..." Sheridan glared at him, then turned away. The
last thing she wanted to hear was how he and Beth were back together. "I
don't want to hear it Luis... just get out." "I'm sorry Sheridan, I was
just with Beth" "Shut up Luis!" she cut him off. "I said I didn't want to
hear about it. I've had enough of this... more than enough!" 'Don't you dare
cry Sheridan,' she ordered herself, feeling the telltale prickling in her
eyes. "You've done nothing but use me and play me for a fool Luis, and I'm
putting my foot down! No more! I will not be used by any man, ever again,
starting RIGHT now! Get out Luis!"
"Sheridan, I need to talk to you about Beth... she's in trouble." Sheridan
felt as though a bus had just hit her... pregnant... Luis meant that Beth was
pregnant. The pain flowed through Sheridan... pain worse than anything she'd
ever felt before. She turned on Luis, "You Bastard!" "What?" Luis sounded
confused. "How could you? Get out! Out of my house and out of my life!"
Her voice was so hard and cold that Luis began to back up toward the open
door. "But I..." Sheridan looked at him, her eyes filled with fury and
disgust, "Get out Luis! I never want to see you again! I hate you!" She
shoved him as hard as she could with both hands against his chest, pushing
him backwards out the door. She slammed it quickly, turning the latch. Then,
as her heart shattered, she began to cry.
At that moment she knew, without a doubt, that she would never be happy
again. How could one ever be happy without a heart?
**end of flashback**
Suddenly Sheridan didn't feel like baking anymore. She took the bowl of
batter and poured it down the disposal. She needed to talk to someone...
normally she would talk to Theresa... they'd become quite close lately. But
in this situation it just wasn't possible. She couldn't talk to Theresa about
how much she hated her brother. She dialed Gwen's number instead, and her
future sister-in-law picked up on the second ring. "Sheridan!" Gwen sounded
thrilled to hear from her. "I was just about to call you. I wanted your
opinion on some things for the wedding. Are you busy? Can you meet me?"
Sheridan was glad to have something to do... and if anything was going to
take her mind off her own problems it would be planning a wedding. "Sure I
can. Where are you?" "Ooops, I've got another call coming in, I have to
go," Gwen said. "The Book Cafe... bye."
Sheridan was left holding the phone, staring at it as though it were a
foreign object. "I can't go to the Book Cafe... Beth is sure to be there."
She dropped the phone and threw herself on the couch. "I can't go... but I
must! I won't let Luis' betrayal break me! If I avoid the Book Cafe he'll
know how much he hurt me, and I won't let that happen." She stood, glancing
down at the jeans and white blouse she wore. Normally she wouldn't change to
go to the Book Cafe... the outfit looked just fine. But she didn't want to
look fine. She wanted to look fabulous, just in case Luis showed up. She
wanted him to see what he'd passed up on.
She found a casual dress, red, her best color, and slipped it on. It was form
fitting, above the knee, with spaghetti straps. "Yeah, this'll do." She
managed a grin for the mirror. She wasn't a vain woman, but she knew she
looked great. And Luis had always loved her in red. Her grin wavered and
faded. She wondered, as tears welled in her eyes again, what color he liked
on Beth.
To Be Continued...
Chapter 5:
Sheridan walked into the Book Cafe, glancing quickly around. Gwen sat on the
couch... the same one Luis had lowered Beth onto last night... it figured.
There was, thankfully, no sign of Luis or Beth. 'They're probably upstairs
in Beth's apartment' she thought sadly as she went to join Gwen.
Gwen looked up from the bridal magazine in her lap and her eyes widened as
she saw Sheridan. "Wow, Sheridan! You have a hot date later?" Sheridan
sank onto the couch. "No... no hot dates for me." Gwen closed the magazine
and shifted to face Sheridan. "What's wrong Sheridan? You sound terrible."
Sheridan forced an upbeat lilt to her voice. "I'm fine Gwen. We're hear to
talk about your wedding, not my sorry love life." She picked up another
bridal magazine and began to idly flip through it... until Gwen snatched it
from her hands. "Sheridan?"
Sheridan looked up, seeing the genuine concern in her friends eyes. "Alright
Gwen, it's Luis." "What about him? I thought you got all your problems
straightened out?" "We did... but what he's done now... well, it's worse
than anything we've been through before. Yesterday we had a date... we were
going to meet here. I arrived early and I saw him making out with Beth."
"What?" Gwen couldn't believe it. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I saw it Gwen. And
that's not even the worst part... Beth's pregnant." "Pregnant? And its
Luis' baby?" Sheridan nodded.
Just then Beth came out the door of her apartment and Sheridan choked back a
sob. Her gaze strayed to Beth's stomach and Sheridan's heart ached. Beth
had the baby growing inside her that Sheridan wanted... Luis' baby.
Gwen saw the look on Sheridan's face and turned to see what she was looking
at. "Sheridan, let's leave." "Yeah..." Sheridan agreed. The last thing she
wanted to do was have a complete meltdown in front of Beth. As they were
heading to the door Beth approached. "Hello Gwen. Hi Sheridan." She smiled a
little.
Sheridan took a deep breath and said coldly, "I hear congratulations are in
order Beth. I hope you and Luis are very happy together." She walked out of
the Book Cafe before Beth could say another word.
Beth stood there, wondering what had upset Sheridan. It wasn't like her to be
rude like that... and what did she mean about Beth being happy with Luis?
Beth didn't know what was going on , but she intended to find out. She would
call Luis... he would set her straight about what was wrong with Sheridan.
She dialed the Lopez-fitzgerald house, the youth center and Luis' cell phone,
but there was no answer. She'd have to call him later.
To Be Continued...
Chapter 6:
Once outside the Book Cafe Sheridan sank onto a bench, feeling as though she
couldn't possibly move any farther. Gwen sat beside her, looking concerned.
"What are you going to do Sheridan?" Sheridan let out a harsh little laugh.
"What is there to do? I don't want a man who can't be loyal to me... a man
that can't be trusted. And even if I did, I would never break up a family.
That baby deserves both a mother and a father Gwen."
"What about you? What about what you deserve?" Sheridan looked at Gwen
incredulously. "Me? You think I deserve Luis? That doesn't say much for your
opinion of me Gwen... you think I deserve a liar and a cheat." Sheridan
picked absently at the hem of her dress. She'd never felt more miserable in
her life than she did at this very moment. And that was saying a lot,
considering the terrible things she'd been through over the years.
"Oh Sheridan... I'm so sorry things didn't work out." Silent tears dripped
down Sheridan's face and Gwen slipped an arm around her. "Why can't I ever
be happy? Why Gwen? All I want is what everybody else has... a family and a
real home." She wiped at the tears streaming down her cheeks. "What's wrong
with me...?" she whispered sadly.
"Nothing's wrong with you Sheridan. You're beautiful, caring, funny, smart...
you just haven't met the right man yet." "I really thought Luis was the
one... the one that I've been waiting for my whole life... you know?" "I
know Sheridan. I thought he was a nice guy too... you weren't the only one
fooled. All of Harmony thinks he's just wonderful. You know what though? You
are strong and you'll get over him. You'll meet the real mister right one
day."
"My days are running out Gwen... most people find love before this. And what
if there is no mister right for me? No, I'm swearing off men. I know I said
that before, when I had that awful experience with Jean-Luc, but I really
mean it this time. It just hurts too much... I can't go through this anymore."
"Well, I think you may change your mind, but at any rate you need to stay
away from both Luis and Beth... this isn't good for you." "I know... I
won't come back here, not for a long time." "Good. Do you still feel like
shopping for the wedding? It might take your mind off things?"
Sheridan offered her a weak smile. "Thanks Gwen, but I really don't feel up
to it anymore. I think I'm just going to go home and lick my wounds for
awhile." "Sure Honey, if that's what you want." They walked to
Sheridan's car and Gwen gave her a hug. "Take care of yourself." "I will
Gwen. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."
It was a blatant lie of course. She knew as she drove home that she wasn't
fine and never would be. She barely even noticed where she was going,
arriving in her driveway almost on autopilot.
She got out of her car and approached the porch. Suddenly she remembered
their date... when they'd gotten the ice cream. She smiled a little sad smile
as she remembered how they'd argued over what flavor sprinkles were the best.
Then he'd kissed her... their first kiss... a gentle peck on the cheek. There
were no fireworks or anything, but it had been the sweetest kiss Sheridan had
ever experienced.
She shook her head and went inside. There her eyes fell on the couch... and
she saw him there the night they'd thought his father died. He'd fallen
asleep on her couch and she'd covered him with a blanket. Later, she'd
watched him sleep... stroked his hair and imagined the day she'd have the
nerve to caress him when he was awake. It was that moment when she'd known
for certain that she was falling in love with him.
Now, Sheridan closed her eyes against the painful reminders. She went into
her bedroom and closed the door. There were no memories there... he'd never
been in her bedroom. That was one thing she was thankful for... if it was
this painful now, it would only be ten times worse if they'd made love.
Still, seeing the bed made her think of him anyway... she recalled her
dreams. She'd had so many dreams of them making love that she couldn't begin
to count them. "Stop it!" she sobbed out loud. "The only person he makes love
with is Beth!" The tears once again rolled down her face and she hated
herself for being so weak. She should be able to handle this better... it's
not like she hadn't been through similar situations before.
But this was different. Luis meant so much more to her than all the other men
in her past. Hell, she'd been engaged to Jean-Luc... they'd made love many
times... she'd loved him. But still... the feelings she had for Luis were so
much stronger... it was the real deal and she knew it. And now it was gone,
gone because he didn't feel the same way. He'd just been using her for a good
time, while the woman he really cared about was Beth.
Inside though, Sheridan wasn't surprised. Nobody had ever really loved her,
not even her own father. Why should Luis be any different from the rest of
the world? She slid down the closed door, until she was sitting with her
knees drawn up. She buried her face in her arms and cried... she cried harder
than she'd ever cried in her life.
To Be Continued...
Chapter 7:
Luis was patrolling the wharf... not the most exciting aspect of his career.
Nothing ever seemed to happen down there. That was a good thing today though,
because Luis' mind was definitely not on his job. It was on Sheridan, as
usual. He still couldn't understand why she'd gone ballistic, simply because
he hadn't been there waiting for her when she'd arrived at the Book Cafe.
And then when he'd tried to explain where he was she'd gotten even more
upset. He just didn't get it... but that was nothing new where Sheridan was
concerned. Their entire relationship had been built on misunderstandings. He
never seemed to know where he stood with her.
He sighed. He was tempted to just say to hell with it, and give up on her. He
knew that wasn't possible though. He couldn't get her out of his head... he
loved her. It was that simple. He loved her and you don't just give up on
someone you love... no matter how much grief they give you.
He leaned against the railing and gazed out over the water. He smiled a
little as he recalled the first time he saw Sheridan, the night she'd hit his
police jeep. He could still see her, with that arrogant look on her face as
she'd stated "My name isn't Buster, my behind is anything but sorry, and you
can't arrest me." Then she'd proceeded to throw her name around and he'd
proceeded to arrest her anyway. He chuckled to himself... she'd always been
feisty... that was one of the things he loved most about her. Their fights...
man... they could fight about anything. The weird thing was those fights
really turned him on.
Right in the middle of the fight he would get this incredible urge to haul
her into his arms and kiss her senseless. Except the fight last night was
different. It wasn't like the almost humorous squabbles they generally had.
It was hard and serious. Sheridan was really furious at him over something,
and he didn't have a clue what.
One of the few things he'd change about Sheridan was the way she just closed
up this way. If she would only talk to him he was sure they could patch
things up. He realized that her unwillingness to open up went back to her
childhood. Back then nobody cared what she thought or felt... but he did.
His radio crackled and he pulled it from his belt. "Lopez-Fitzgerald."
"Robbery in progress at the Even Keel Coffee Shop. Backup is on its way."
Luis ran down the wharf to the shop, where he paused across the street behind
a parked car. Everything appeared fine from there... he needed to get closer.
He had his gun drawn and was halfway across the street when the door of the
shop burst open and two men emerged. Luis felt the bullet strike him before
he could even react and he hit the ground hard.
The men jumped into their car and were speeding away... Luis used the last of
his strength to take aim and he shot out their front tire. The car careened
across the empty street and slammed into a utility pole.
The last thing Luis heard was the squeal of the backup cars sirens. He
drifted into unconsciousness, thinking of Sheridan.
To Be Continued...
Chapter 8:
Sheridan was washing her face after her crying jag. She stared into the
mirror at her puffy eyes and tearstained cheeks and sighed. She'd vowed once
before that she'd never again cry over a man who did her wrong. "Well, you
blew that vow right out of the water," she said to her reflection.
"You can't do this Sheridan... you can't let him break you. You have to stop
thinking about him and get on with your life." She let out a harsh laugh.
"What life? You have nothing... no job, no children, no real home... and
nobody to love you." She heard the self-pity in her voice and was disgusted
with herself. "So... I'll get a job... I did okay at the Youth Center..."
her voice trailed off as thoughts of Luis permeated her brain. Luis, naked,
when she'd walked in on him in the locker room... Luis staring into her eyes
as they danced the Tango for the second time... "Enough!!" She chastised
herself. "The point was I was useful there... there is a job for me
somewhere. Something that will give me a reason to get up in the morning!"
She smiled slightly at her mirror image. "Yeah, a job is just the thing I
need." The phone rang and she flew from the bathroom to the living room and
picked it up. "Hello?"
"Sheridan?" it was Theresa and she sounded hysterical. "Theresa? What is
it?" "Is Mama there Sheridan? I need to talk to her right away! I can't
find her anywhere..." "No, she's not...Theresa, what's wrong? Are you
hurt?" "Not me... it's Luis."
Sheridan's heart froze and a chill ran through her veins. "What about Luis?
What happened to him?" "He's been shot Sheridan... oh God, I think he's
going to die." Now Sheridan sounded frantic, borderline hysterical, as she
asked "Are you at the hospital Theresa?" "Yes... I'm here all alone... I
can't find Mama or Miguel. Sheridan, will you come down here? Please?"
Sheridan was already slipping her shoes on as she replied, "Of course... I'm
on my way Theresa. Hang in there Sweetie."
She flew out the door to her car and headed to the hospital. Luis was shot...
panic threaded through her at the thought. What if he was dying? What if he
was already dead? Sheridan had never been so scared in her life... not even
the times her own life was in danger. No matter what he had done to her she
still loved him, and that was the bottom line.
She couldn't simply turn her emotions off and stop caring just because he'd
done her wrong... the heart just didn't work that way. She prayed as she
maneuvered the car through the heavy evening traffic. How she managed to make
it to the hospital in one piece she didn't know. She sped the whole way and
she was pretty sure she ran a couple of red lights. She knew she annoyed a
lot of the other drivers... they were pretty vocal about it with their horns.
At the hospital she parked and ran into the building. The emergency waiting
room was full of people, but she saw Theresa instantly. The girl was beside
herself with worry, tears streaming down her face as she stood by the window
with her arms wrapped around herself.
"Theresa?" " Oh, Sheridan!" Theresa
flew to Sheridan, who enfolded her in her arms. "I'm so scared... I'm so glad
you're here." Theresa sobbed as she clutched Sheridan in a death grip.
Sheridan was trying her best not to cry, but Theresa's emotions played on
hers and tears began to seep out. "It's okay Theresa... what happened to
Luis? How is he?" "There was a robbery at the coffee shop... they shot him
somehow. It's real bad Sheridan... Dr. Russell says it's real bad.
Sheridan... what if he doesn't make it? What if he dies?"
Theresa looked up at Sheridan with her tear-filled eyes and waited for
Sheridan to reassure her... to promise that Luis would be alright. Sheridan
knew that's what Theresa wanted and realized that's what the girl needed to
hear, but she couldn't get the words out. She feared the same thing... she
needed someone to tell her that everything would be alright too.
"Sheridan... he can't die...right?"
To Be Continued...
Chapter 9:
"He can't die...right Sheridan?" Theresa's words seemed to hang in the air.
Sheridan's heart felt as though someone were squeezing the life out of it. As
angry as she was at Luis she still loved him and the thought of him dying was
killing her. "We have to think positive thoughts Theresa. Luis is tough...
the strongest man I know. If anyone can pull through this it's Luis!"
"Yeah, I know," Theresa said uncertainly.
"Theresa?" Whitney appeared by their side. "I just heard... oh Theresa, I'm
so sorry." Theresa left Sheridan and hugged her best friend. The two girls
moved to sit on a couch together, leaving Sheridan standing alone by the
window. Alone... as usual, she couldn't help thinking. She stared out the
window... it was beginning to rain again. Appropriate weather for the
circumstances.
Lately Sheridan seemed to be losing complete control of her thoughts... and
it was happening again. She saw Luis, with his cocky grin, challenging her to
a basketball game. She saw him fooling around with the kids at the youth
center... she hadn't been sure who was having more, him or the kids. She saw
him working in Pilar's garden... he always worked so hard at everything he
did. He touched so many lives... so many people would be devastated if he
died..herself included. Even if they weren't together and never would be,
she needed to know that he was out there. She needed him to be safe and
alive, living his life with Beth if he chose to. He had to live... he just
had to.
She turned to look at Theresa. The girl was so pale and frightened looking.
Where were the doctors? There should be news by now... something... anything.
Just then Sheridan saw Eve Russell appear in the doorway. Whitney saw her
mother too and nudged Theresa. The three of them gathered around Eve
anxiously. "Dr. Russell... he's okay, right?" Theresa pleaded rather than
asked.
Eve gave a small reassuring smile. "He came through the surgery just fine. We
removed the bullet without any difficulties. Luckily it missed all the vital
organs." Everyone sighed with relief. "Thank God," Sheridan murmured while
the two girls embraced. Then Eve spoke again, "However... there is a head
trauma that is causing some concern." "Head trauma?" Sheridan was
confused. "I thought he was shot in the chest?" "We believe it occurred
when he hit the pavement," Eve explained. "We're concerned because he
should've come out of the anesthesia by now. So far he hasn't stirred."
"You mean... he's in a coma?" Sheridan asked weakly. Eve nodded. "Yes, but
you have to understand...it's early yet. It doesn't necessarily mean there is
anything seriously wrong. We'll have to give it some time." "Can we see
him?" Theresa asked. "Yes, talking to him may help. One at a time though."
Eve led them down the hall to the room Luis occupied. Sheridan stood by the
glass wall and watched as Theresa went into the room. She slowly approached
the bed and gently picked up her brothers hand. Sheridan could see Theresa's
lips moving as she talked and tears streamed down the girls face. Sheridan
focussed on the man lying in the bed. Luis looked terrible. His head was
wrapped in a pristine white bandage and his chest had a similar treatment. he
was hooked up to various machines... Sheridan wasn't sure what they all were.
Sheridan turned away from the window... it was too painful to watch. Her gaze
wandered down the hall and she saw a woman running towards her. Pilar.
"Sheridan! How is he?" Sheridan embraced the woman she loved as a mother.
"He came through the surgery Pilar... but he's still unconscious." They
turned back to the window and Theresa was still clutching Luis' hand and
chattering to him. Pilar murmured a few words in Spanish and pressed her
forehead wearily against the glass. "Why? Why Luis?" Sheridan would've
liked an answer to that question too. She shrugged helplessly. "I don't know
Pilar, but he's going to be okay... he's too tough and stubborn to give up."
Pilar smiled a little. "Thank you Sheridan. Thank you for being here with
us." "Pilar... I couldn't be anywhere else." "You are going to be a
wonderful daughter-in-law one day Sheridan." Pilar hugged Sheridan again.
Sheridan returned the hug, hanging tightly to Pilar and letting the tears
flow down her face. It was never to be... obviously Luis hadn't told Pilar
about Beth and the baby yet. She would never be Pilar's daughter-in-law...
hell, she would probably never be anyone's daughter-in-law.
Theresa gazed at the window and saw her mother. She came from the room and
spoke to Pilar a moment. They embraced and Pilar went into the room with
Luis. "He's so still Sheridan... and pale." Theresa whispered. "I know...
but he'll wake up. We just have to have faith in that." Theresa nodded.
"Yes. I know that, but it's so hard. It was so hard to be in there and
telling him he was going to be fine... when inside I'm so terrified he
won't."
Sheridan held the girl again, letting Theresa borrow what little strength she
had left. Pilar came out of the room a few minutes later and approached
Sheridan. "You need to go to him now Sheridan. He needs you." Sheridan
shook her head... she couldn't go in there. She just couldn't. "Pilar... I
think it's better if the family sits with him..."
Pilar smiled a little. "You are family... and Luis cares for you so much. It
could only help him to hear your voice." Sheridan couldn't look into
Pilar's pleading eyes and tell her the truth, so she simply nodded and turned
to face the door.
She pushed it opened and moved inside. The door swung closed behind her and
she leaned back against it. The machines in the room were making beeping and
humming noises. Other than that the room was silent. She looked at him...
the man she loved more than anything in the world and couldn't bring herself
to move closer. How could she go over there and hold his hand and talk to him
like they were a couple? How could she continue this charade? She turned and
saw Pilar and Theresa smiling at her through the glass. Okay... how could she
not? She had to... for them.
Slowly she forced her legs to move and she approached the bed. She sat in the
chair beside him and reached for his hand. Just the feel of his skin against
hers made her ache. A loud sob escaped her lips and she whispered, "Oh God
help me, I love you so much Luis..."
To Be Continued...
Chapter 10:
Sheridan pressed Luis' hand to her cheek and tried to keep from falling
apart. Tears dripped off her cheeks and fell onto Luis' arm. "Oh Luis..."
she whispered. "You have to wake up. So many people need you... and love you.
Think about Pilar and Theresa and Miguel... they'll be lost without you."
Her heart ached as she forced the next words out. "And there is Beth and the
baby to think of. They need you Luis... so much." She took a deep breath.
"Where's the supercop that was so tough and strong whenever I needed help?
After the things we've been through this should be a piece of cake for you."
The machines beeped and whirred away , but the man in the bed remained silent
and motionless. Sheridan continued to talk to him, a lot of it meaningless
chatter. She talked about their adventures in Paris... the weather and the
latest book she was reading. She saw Pilar and Theresa peering in the window
from time to time... giving her encouraging little smiles.
Sheridan felt terrible. They were expecting her to work miracles... the woman
he loved would save the day. She sighed. That would be well and good if she
were that woman. Beth should be here... holding his hand and talking about
the future they would have together when he awoke.
Sheridan couldn't stay there any longer... she needed a break. She kissed his
hand and lay it gently on the bed. "I love you Luis..." she couldn't help
whispering as she stood to leave the room. She paused at the door, looking
back at the bed... at her only true love. "If only things could be
different..."
Sheridan left the room and was instantly flanked by Pilar and Theresa. They
latched onto her arms and the three of them went into the waiting room. "Do
you think he was starting to come out of it Sheridan?" Theresa asked, pinning
hopeful eyes on Sheridan as they sat on the couch.
"I don't think so Theresa...I'm sorry." Sheridan sighed. She wanted to tell
them about Beth and the fact that Luis was going to be a father, but she knew
it wasn't her place to tell them anything. Still, Beth should be there.
"Has anyone called Beth?" she asked. Nobody had. "I guess we should call
her," Theresa agreed. "She's one of Luis' best friends... she'd want to
know." "Yes," Pilar nodded. "I will go and call her."
Sheridan and Theresa were silent when Pilar was gone. They were both lost in
their memories of Luis. Theresa was remembering all the times Luis had
encouraged and helped her and how he was almost like a father to her.
Sheridan was thinking about all the times he'd rescued her, risking his life
in the process. All the horrible things they'd survived... only to lose him
now. Sheridan mentally shook herself. she couldn't think that way... they
weren't going to lose him. She shook her head sadly... he wasn't hers to lose
anyway... he was Beth's and she would do well to remember that.
The night passed in a blur to Sheridan. Pilar returned, saying that she
couldn't get ahold of Beth, and despite her good intentions Sheridan was
glad. At some point Miguel arrived, and both kids went home shortly after
than. Even Ivy made an appearance for Pilar's sake, wishing them the best of
luck.
Sheridan and Pilar spent most of the night alone... seated beside each other
on the couch, or taking turns sitting with Luis.
Sheridan was returning from the cafeteria early the next morning, with some
coffee and donuts for her and Pilar when she saw Beth just going into Luis'
room. Sheridan stumbled, sloshing the hot coffee onto her hand. She hardly
noticed the coffee... she was too busy thinking about Luis and Beth.
She took the coffee to Pilar and drifted back to the window of Luis' room...
unable to stop the self-inflicted torture. She gazed into the room and her
heart ached. Beth sat beside the bed, holding Luis' hand and crying. As
Sheridan continued to watch Beth gently rubbed her abdomen... obviously
talking to him about their baby. Sheridan couldn't watch anymore... she
lurched away from the window and made some lame excuse to Pilar about why she
had to leave.
Beth was there now... that was all Luis needed... he was sure to get better
now. Sheridan left the hospital... not sure where she was going, but needing
to be anywhere but there... where Beth was securing her rightful place. Her
place with the man Sheridan had expected... needed... dreamed of having for
her own.
Sheridan wandered aimlessly through the streets of Harmony... each place she
passed yet another painful reminder of her doomed love life. She'd never
realized how many places in Harmony held memories of Luis... not all good
memories, but memories just the same. Good or bad, they were all painful to
Sheridan. She could practically see him... feel him, everywhere she looked.
Finally she sank onto a bench in Lighthouse Park and gazed out over the
ocean... listening to the waves crashing against the rocks below. She had sat
here on the very same bench with Luis only a few days ago... back when all
had been well in Sheridan's little piece of the universe. Now her piece
looked like an endless black hole...
She stood and moved to the railing, where she peered down at the rocky shore
far below. The tide was high and the huge waves were pounding the shore
almost angrily. Sheridan thought that if someone were to fall over the
railing and down onto the shore if the fall didn't kill them the ocean was
sure to finish the job. Really, the railings weren't very high at all...
someone could easily take a tumble...
To Be Continued...
