Rating : A
Summary : [may 2004] Sheridan and Antonio are on their way to St. Lisa's. Luis is desperate - but finds himself stranded by his mother's bedside, rather than chasing after the woman he wants nothing more than to be with.
Chapter 1:
She finished stuffing the essentials in the carry on as she watched her husband frantically doing the same, however thirty times her speed. He had been adamant they return to Saint Lisa's instantly causing Sheridan to experience a mix of emotions. Much of her yearned to please her husband - while a larger part of her sought solace in answers. Sheridan's mind was constantly interrupted by static - uncertaintly and an odd sense of mystery. She almost felt ignorant of her own life...pieces didn't fit. Perhaps that was why she had invested so much hope in the evidence Luis promised to provide. THAT NAME. She cursed herself for thinking it again. It was brinking on insanity - the way Luis continued to creep his way into her thoughts.
He loved her. That, she was more than certain of. He claimed she loved him. She tried to doubt it - in fact - she did. Her husband constantly assured her he owned her heart and she believed him. It all made sense, right? However, there was an inexplainable reaccuring connection to Luis that grew thicker and stronger each time their eyes met...or they'd share a tender moment. It'd cause internal conflict and result in some extreme introspection - as now. The man, whom she did not love - drove her mad. She stared at the packed suitcase incredulously.
"Sheridan?" Antonio's voice drew her back to reality.
"Yes, I'm finished." She offered a weak smile.
"Are you - are you all right?" He made his way towards her, placing his palm on her shoulder, "You seem so -"
"I'm fine. I'm just..." She paused, thinking up a word to fill the end of her thought, "Excited. Excited to go to Saint Lisa's." She tried - and she would be convinced if she was anyone other than herself.
"I'm glad...our life is going to be wonderful, Sheridan. I promise you. No one is ever going to love you as much as I do..." He kissed her head and she felt a tinge of doubt chill her spine. It wasn't that she didnt believe that he believed his own statement - rather - instinct proved contrary as some intense doubt clouded her mind. But...she knew he loved her - and she knew she was SUPPOSED to love him. Yes, she was SUPPOSED to.
"Antonio..." She shook her head and slammed her eyes shut, "Would you mind so much if I went out for a walk?"
"Just let me grab my jacket -"
"On my own." She paused, "I...I just want to say goodbye to harmony on my own and...clear some air. Satisfy that need for closure, y'know?" She offered a small smile.
"Don't be out too long - and keep your cell on you...in case." He watched as she grabbed her purse and made her way to the door.
"I'll be fine, Antonio. But thanks. I'll keep it on - and...I shouldnt be longer than half an hour or so." She nodded at him and left the house. She decided to head to the park...something drew her there - it was almost magnetic.
He clutched onto his mother's hand as he fought to keep the tears at bay, "Mama...you...you can't go." He swallowed hard and moved his thumb over her hand, "I love you, and you know that I'd give anything to make you all right again."
"I know, Luis...my son. You are filled with such goodness and have such a generous heart..."
"I inherited it from my mother..." He found his lips curling for something that resembled a smile - which caused one of the same in return from his mother.
"And I know..." She choked, "I know you love her...and...and I want you to fight for what you believe in. Don't fight with your brother - but let it come together. It will all come together."
"Mama, I'm scared..." He paused, "I'm scared to live without you...your faith - your presence. God, look at me be all selfish when you're the one who's sick..."
"You have taken care of me. You have kept me going, Luis. Without you - our family would have fallen to pieces...you were the glue that held us together..." She smiled squeezing his hand, "And for that I will be eternally grateful. Now do me a favour."
"Anything."
"Go home for a while - get some rest...return to me tomorrow. Please." She pleaded desperately.
"I don't want to leave you alone." Luis sighed.
"I'll be fine. Please, do me that favour and get some rest...I want you enegized to entertain me tomorrow." Pilar joked.
"See, you must be getting better...you're being funny." He teased back. His mother released a small chuckle and there was an odd positive sensation that filled his heart. He had a gut instinct that he was receiving another miracle upcoming and that his mother was going to be fine. For that reason alone - he agreed to part.
"Thank you, Luis." She nodded and closed her eyes.
"I love you, mama." He kissed her cheek and began to leave.
"I love you, my dear son. And I'll see you tomorrow." He was going to respond, but her eyes began to flutter shut. She was drained - and he knew she needed to rest. However, he was feeling quite awake now and wasnt ready to retire. He opted for a scenic route home, on foot as he departed hospital grounds.
Sheridan pulled her cardigan closer together. A breeze found its way to her core and chilled her being. Her thoughts continued their torture on her. She surveyed the park once again - subconciously searching for something, feeling disappointed realizing she was the only one there. Had she secretly wished Antionio had followed her? No, her heart responded. Had she wished she'd ran into someone she knew? The thumping increasing in her heart responded positively. Could she have wanted to perhaps see a man she continually resisted to love? A sudden sting of guilt was enough to answer all of the above questions.
But something forced her to reject the feelings for Luis that threatened. She'd never felt so conflicted in her entire life. Could she have been brainwashed? It sounded like it would supply the plausable explaination as to why luis CONSTANTLY consumed her thoughts.
Suddenly two strong hands clamped onto her shoulders spinning her around - and as she was about to scream her mouth was covered. Her eyes widened as her hands instinctively found their way to a broad chest - pushing back...
To Be Continued...