© Becca and Dana Simmons 2001 The Young Riders is an Ogiens/Kane Production, created by Ed Spielman.
We only borrow his characters for fun. No infringement of copyright intended. There is absolutely no financial gain for the authors. We survive on the feedback, and we need plenty of it.

2313
Inspired by Mark Knopfler's "Romeo and Juliet" from the album "Making Movies" Reference page too holds a link to hear the song.

Chapter 11

As Lou reached the porch and found Jimmy sitting on it, watching her with wide eyes as she came running like a lunatic across the yard. Catching Jimmy's stunned expression she finally broke down and laughed. She laughed at herself, at the stupidities she continued to perform in front of the Kid. She did need some kind of medication, this was just not normal. Telling a horse about her thoughts! No, she was going out of her mind. She replayed the scene of her storming out of the stall, giggling as she thought about the impact she must have made on him. A loon on the loose!

"What's so funny Lou?" Jimmy asked after having watched her for a while. "Mind filling me in?"

"Me! Talking to horses," Lou chirped, bending over double again.

"Hell, Kid does that all the time, nothing new around these parts!" Jimmy retorted and returned to clicking on his memo-slot. "Tell you what, I've found myself doing it too, just occasionally but even so. Funny critters them horses, have you spill their guts to them just like that."

Lou wiped the tears from her eyes and glanced at Jimmy, smiling at the amused grin on his face as he stared down on the apparatus. With a happy chuckle she scooted closer to him and nudged him playfully with her elbow. "So what have you been tellin' Sundancer?"

Jimmy leered teasingly at her; "You'd really like to know wouldn't ya?"

"Tell you what Jimmy, it couldn't be any worse than what I just told Lightning, I can practically guarantee that much."

"What you tell 'im?" Jimmy's curiosity was awakened and he turned to her, humor in his eyes as he watched her.

Lou laughed again, shaking her head at the thought. "It was just something that should never had been told to anybody, God Jimmy, I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep saying and doing things that really freak me out."

"Come on Lou! It couldn't have been that bad," Jimmy smiled at her.

"You have no idea," Lou said and rose to her feet. "Is Noah inside?" Tapping Jimmy on the shoulder she turned to walk inside the house.

"You sick Lou?" Jimmy asked concerned.

Lou stopped and turned back to watch him. Seeing the concern in his eyes she shook her head;"no, not like that. I just need some adjustments done, I'm sure of it. Brain transplant most likely," she grinned at him before moving to open the door.

"Lou!"

"Yeah Jimmy?"

"Whatever you need, I'm here for you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah Jimmy, I know that." She walked back to him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks Jimmy," she sighed and ruffled his hair.

Jimmy watched until she closed the door behind her, then he shook his head and returned once again to the tedious work of ordering the equipment for the new settlers. Then he paused in his work and looked in the direction of the stables, wondering. Contemplating if he should tell Lou and make her understand a little bit better. But he just couldn't do it, he just couldn't betray Kid like that. Kid would never do it to him. Irritating as he was he was still some kind of a friend. Knowing him made Jimmy realize he was probably going through some pretty tough adjustments himself. Jimmy had promised himself never to fall in love again, never to get close to anybody. Maybe Kid had done the exact same thing, that would explain so much about the changes in his friend, the friend he almost lost back then. Even after all these years Jimmy still knew the Kid well enough to see through his current charade. He had never stopped blaming himself. And it still nagged at him evidently, nagged at him to the extent that he did not follow his instincts or his heart. And now Lou had stepped into his life, into both their lives. This time Jimmy would stay low, not interfere, for everybody's sake. Because of the deep brown eyes that glittered when they fell on his friend, and because of the foolish grin on the face of his friend anytime those dark eyes were around. Damned fool! Jimmy muttered and tried to concentrate on the task at hand, why don't you just let go for once in your goddamned life! It wasn't your bloody fault, it was all mine!

"Noah!" Lou asked and stuck her head into the sickbay. Rachel's and Noah's voices hummed inside, but she couldn't see them.

"Yeah Lou?" His voice came from behind the large cabinets at the far end of the room, Lou smiled to herself thinking what the hell they were doing there, hiding?

"Something wrong Lou? Or are you done already?" Rachel asked as her head popped up behind the stretcher in the middle of the room. Her hands full of all kinds of equipment.

Lou couldn't figure out what they were doing. "Done?" she asked, "what'ya mean Rach?"

Noah emerged from behind the cabinet, a memo-slot in his hand. "3 packs of frozen plasma, with all them coming in we probably need a dozen more. And some stem-cells, just in case."

Rachel smiled up to him and flicked the memo-slot he was handing her into the portable. "I can't find the AOP anywhere Noah."

"Gave it to Kid, figured he's need it more than me, at least I hope so," Noah admitted, "but we better get ourselves some more...."

"Just in case," Rachel finished for him, returning to pinch in something into the portable's tiny keyboard.

"I'm still here," Lou reminded them.

"You got the memo-slots?" Noah asked as the walked over to her, "that was fast. I just sent him out!"

"Sent him out?" Lou felt like scratching her head at this discussion.

"Kid! Didn't he tell you? You need to figure out the needs for the increase in the animal population." He stopped right in front of her, watching her expectantly.

"Oh," Lou let out, fighting the threatening reddening of her cheeks. "Well, yea..he came out alright...but then...You see Lightning had this problem with his hindleg so I told him to look at that first...I didn't realize it was such a hurry. And then I came to think about one thing and...Rachel I need to talk to you!"

"What's wrong`" Noah asked and Lou saw the dark eyes glittering with humor. She shrugged, she just couldn't ask Noah for help, the guy was a man and she wouldn't let him see her weakness. Never. She had a funny feeling he knew too much already.

"I just need to snatch Rach away from you for a moment, you'll have her right back." Lou peered at him, guessing an attach was the best defense in this precise instant. But she didn't miss the amused glance the two of them stole as Rachel got up and walked over to her. Lou's palms were getting sweaty.

"What is it Louise?" Rachel asked, tilting her head and smiling teasingly.

"In private!" Lou snapped and took a firm grip on Rachel's wrist, dragging her out. "You'll be back with Noah in no time, I promise."

"Thanks," Noah chuckled as Lou closed the door in his face.

"What's a matter Lou?" Rachel inquired as she was dragged down the stairs and into the recreation room. Lou thoroughly checked that nobody was in hearing range before she shut the door behind them. Then she stopped by the door and looked at Rachel, in a manner that had Rachel wrinkle her brow.

Lou still said nothing and Rachel was really getting worried at this point. Was the girl gonna reveal some hideous crime committed? Was she feeling ill? Had something bad happened? "Lou, what...?"

"Rachel, there's something wrong with me, seriously wrong!"

"Louise!" Rachel exclaimed frantically, stepping up closer to her.

Lou turned and walked past her to stand by the window. "I don't mean physically, not like that. I'm not in pain...well not in that kind of pain anyhow. It's just..." Her voice trailed off and she stared out the window.

"Confusing?" Rachel asked, her voice filled with amusement.

"Irritatin' is what it is Rach!" Lou muttered to the window, "is there something like fresh air intoxication Rachel? Or openness sickness? Anything that can explain what's happening to me here? Any medication to stop it?"

Rachel had to bite down on her tongue not to laugh out loud. Fresh Air intoxication? The expression had her giggling.

"It's not funny!" Lou turned and crossed the arms over her chest, glaring at Rachel.

"Sorry Lou, just that expression, fresh air...I mean it was very funny but no, there's nothing like that."

"Rachel, I really need something, something to stop this...this...this.."

"The throws between bliss and despair you mean?"

Lou nodded.

"That feeling of breathlessness? The tingling? The floating feelin'?"

"Yep that's about it," Lou said, watching Rachel closely. Repositioning into a guarded stance. Wrinkling her nose at the sight of Rachel's wide grin.

Rachel laughed out loud, shaking her head she slumped down into a chair. "Oh God Lou, there ain't no medication, you know that! No worries, it blows over and then you're gonna miss it. Don't tell me you've never felt it before! It blows over Lou."

"In high school Rach, not since I grew up! I mean hello - I'm actually blushing!"

Rachel let out another snort of laughter. Not that she meant to laugh at Louise, just at her perfect description of the ailment of falling in love. The sickness without a cure, the rush, the free falling. "Well Lou, I mean, you survived it back then without medication, so why not now."

Lou walked to stand right in front of Rachel's chair. Looking down on the woman sitting there, having such a hard time keeping her face straight. "Because this time it's worse than I ever imagined. It never was like this before. I mean it was such a long time ago I can't even remember the last time. I just remember the boy laughing at me, calling me names when he found out. I don't wanna go though that once more, I don't wanna be belittled and ridiculed ever again Rachel!"

Rachel sobered up instantly, watching the eyes of Louise shadowed with dull pain. Deep-rooted pain from the attach on her right to exist, her right to feel. "I'm sorry Lou, boys can be so harsh, I know. But Kid ain't a boy Lou, Kid wouldn't hurt your feelings, I I just know it."

"Well I'm already attached you know, it's not right to have these feelings. Just ain't right! Goddamned dangerous if you ask me!"

"You love him?"

"God, I don't know, heck I don't even know him! And then sometimes it feels like I've known him forever. Like in another lifetime or something. For an entire eternity and like he's the one I've been waiting for all this time."

"I was talking about Sean," Rachel pointed out with a smile.

"Uh, him?" Lou sighed and sank into the chair at Rachel's side. "He's safe Rach, he loves me I know that. I like him, I really do, he's safe and we have fun. He's a great friend and ..."

"Lou," Rachel interrupted her softly, "but there's something missing, right?"

There was a long silence as Lou leaned back and closed her eyes. Rachel waited for her to search her own feelings, that's probably what she needed right now. Sort it all out, come to a conclusion.

But Lou said nothing, she sat there for a while, not moving at all. Then she rose and turned back to watch Rachel, sadness in her eyes."I don't know nothing anymore Rachel, I just don't know nothing at all."

Rachel searched around in her pockets, she should have a patch right in there, one that would work wonders. "Hold on Lou," she mumbled, sensing the form of the patches in her pocket, she found what she was looking for. A thin oval one, taking it and reading the label she smiled at the own expertise. "I have what you need Lou."

"Will it work?"

"Sure," Rachel nodded and put it behind the younger woman's right ear, right under the EA. "It'll start working in a minute or so, take a couple of deep breaths Lou." She watched as she slowly filled her lungs and visibly relaxed by the exercise alone. "That's it Lou, feel it?"

"Yeah," Lou admitted.

"Go on, go help Kid with the ordering."

Lou just glanced at her over her shoulder as she walked out, Rachel smiled encouragingly at her. When Lou closed the door behind her Rachel took the empty wrapping and tossed it into the dustbin in the corner of the room.

"B-vitamines does it all the times," Rachel laughed as she walked out of the room.

Lou felt confident walking across the yard to the stables, the patch behind her ear was working wonders, she felt relieved and calm. This time she wasn't about to make a fool of herself around him, this time she was cool. Opening the door to the tackroom she just smiled at him as his head popped up, his smile sending her knees weak for a moment. But she regained her composure in no time. Walking up to him where he sat on the floor, surrounded by half a dozen boxes. "Let's get to work," she said and reached for the memo-slot he was holding. "You count and I'll do the ordering."

Kid just handed her the memo-slot. "I've gotten most of it done, it's just these boxes that need to be checked out. I did the feed already. Figured this would come so I already had it organized."

"And what the hell is in these boxes?" Lou asked peering into one. It was filled with all kind of stuff, brushes, horse shoes, even hooks and strange metal pieces.

"Have no idea," Kid sighed, "found them under that bench over there, must have been left here since last time we visited." Looking at her with a apologetic grin.

"A very orderly bunch, I see," Lou laughed and turned the box upside down. Crouching to sort out the items she shook her head in Kid's direction.

"Oh!" Kid exclaimed and reached for a bundle of leather rolled up. "I've been looking for this."

Lou eyed him briefly, "so what is it?"

"Katy's favorite hackamore," Kid smiled.

"Her favorite hackamore?" Lou giggled, "Kid you're funny, Katy don't care what she wears as long as you put it on her, I know, I've seen you two together." The she had to divert her gaze, fearing he would interpret the words differently from what she intended, fearing she had said to much.

"I don't know Lou, I keep messing things up all the time." Kid said at her side, easing himself closer to her.

"Me too, Kid," Lou said and glanced at him, so close by her side, "they say it's human."

He laughed again, having her join in his happy chuckles. It felt so right being here, so right. And all the same it was so wrong, she had a boyfriend back home and she had signed a contract. She sighed and started working through the rest of the boxes, every now and then holding up an item for Kid to check out, since she had no idea what the hell it was. Neither did Kid half of the time. So they sat there and went through the boxes, smiling at each other, chuckling at the wisecracks. Teasing each other for their inadequacies, squabbling like old friends.

Kid held his breath at her closeness, wishing this would never end. Her laughter as he in shame admitted he had no idea what she was holding in her hand, even though he should know. The humor in her eyes as she shook her head and glanced at him, scolding him for the untidiness. The scent of her as she leaned in over the box, taking an other object and scrutinizing it closely, her presence calling all his attention. The way she wiped the hair out of her eyes with her arm, and the strain of hair on her neck, refusing to settle. He just sat there, only barely noticing what she said, what they both said, he was too occupied with looking at her, taking her in.

Then she rose to her feet and pointed at the shelf high up in the corner of the room. "Kid, we better check them bottles up there too. God knows what's in them."

"Uh huh," he cracked, stunned by her swift moves. He crawled up on his feet, feeling absolutely ridiculous. "I'll just tuck them here boxes away."

When he turned back around she was already balancing on an unsteady wooden ladder, placed on top of a rack that looked about to fall into pieces. "Lou," he gasped, "come down, please! Let me do that!"

She thanked him with a murdering glance. Turning back to the shelf and extracting a very dusty bottle from the back.

Kid gripped the wooden construction hard, hoping it wouldn't come crashing down. Looking up at her his eyes caught a glimpse of the bare skin in the fissure of her shorts and the shirt tied into a knot around her waist. The flat abdomen moving slightly as she reached further in. His eyes glued to the tanned skin underneath, the muscle playing under the soft stretched skin. He had to hold back a moan. He wanted to let go off the ladder and feel that skin under his palm, soothe it and caress it, arouse her. Kiss it and feel it flex under him.

"I think most of these bottles are the same Kid, says linseed oil on them all, under all this damned dust that is. Can't be sure of all them back there thou'."

Her voice had him finally tear his eyes from her waist area. "Might be," he managed to get out. Relieved she wasn't looking down on him and catching him red-handed, he moved a little closer to the ladder. Still holding it thightly. But he couldn't help letting his eyes wander, they followed her lines and curves. The back curving into the cutest butt he'd ever seen, then the beautiful legs, tanned and strong. The perfect knees. I wonder if you like being kissed in the kneepits? He had to hold his breath for a while, not exactly sure he hadn't spoken out loud. But since nothing hard came down on his head he figured it had only been a thought. But if you knew what I'm thinking right now you'd kill me Lou. I'd give anything in this world to be able to touch you. I'd like to kiss you everywhere, Lou, you know that don't you? The feet in the sandals, so beautiful. The toes so tiny, fragile. Easily crushed. I have to remind her not to walk around the horses in these shoes! The scent of her having him fight himself not to throw his arms around her and clutch her into his hold. Holding her tight, feeling her every breath. The smell of soap and Lou herself having him close his eyes in pure desperation of not being able, not being allowed, to hold her. Kiss her and feel her. Wanting to lay his head at her feet and ask to be hers, in any way possible. He felt he knew her body already, he knew how she would react to his kisses and his caresses. Deep down inside of him there seemed to be memories of the two of them together, somewhere far away, like they had already been together. That they belonged, the sensation of losing himself so easily into her stirring him deeply, affecting his heartbeat. The need for her so intense he had trouble breathing evenly. As he stood there lines from a very old song started forming in his head, together with the melody. The phrases just assaulted him, "the dice was loaded from the start, I bet - and you exploded into my heart."

She grunted irritably and jerked something out, causing the ladder to shift onto him. Her hip now resting on his chest. His hand automatically curved around her, holding her still. Keeping her safe.

"They're all that linseed oil Kid, nothing else." Then she turned in his hold, his protective arm around her hips. He looked up at her. Slightly dizzy.

She smiled down at him, "what's wrong Kid?"

"Please come down," he begged.

Lou tilted her head and looked at him quizzically but she stepped down from the ladder, remaining on the rack, her eyes now in level with his. He noticed he had not even removed his arm. It now rested around the waist, on her bare skin. He was speechless, his body readying itself for her. He had to remove himself from her before she'd understand. The damned song lodged in his mind, with visions of her and him together. The EA picking it up and started playing the original in his head, tone for tone, word for word. Accentuating his need for her.

"What's wrong Kid?"

At the sound of her repeated question he finally managed to restore enough of his self-control to remove the arm. But somehow the hand moved by itself into Lou's hair. The second he felt the softness he realized he was being too forward. "Some dust there Lou," he said, his voice husky with emotion. He had to bow his head, knowing he had revealed too much. Cursing himself for what he was feeling, for what he was letting happen. His hand trailed her lines down her arm to the curve of her hip. To then stop there, refusing to let go.

"Kid?"

He sensed Lou's eyes on him, watching him intently. He had no other alternative that to raise his eyes and look at her, knowing she'd be able to read far too much on his face. "I was just thinking about a song," he smiled. Hoping to get away with a lie.

"A song?," she asked, her voice so low it sent his skin into goosebumps. "What song?"

He just moved his head slightly to the side. His hands still holding her, resting on her hips, like to steady her. But he knew that wasn't it, he held her because he had to feel her. He held her because letting go would hurt.

Lou understood and picked the EA from behind his ear, placing it behind her own. Waiting a moment for it to pick up her alpha layer and connecting. Her eyes locked into his, deep dark wells calling out to him like nothing else before, touching the core of his being. He looked for the all the secrets hidden in the deep wells, wanting to see them glaze over with passion, light up with laughter and get hazy for him as he made love to her. Deep within there was a treasure he could only dream about. So much about her he would never know, because he couldn't be with her, because she was somebody else's to know and love. He'd never make those eyes darken with passion, and right now he would give anything to have that happen.

She closed her eyes and Kid could have sworn he felt the music fill her. Eyes closed she smiled and Kid leaned in, he had to feel her lips on his, just once more in his life. That was all he'd ever ask for, that Lou would kiss him - only one more time.

"KID!"

Jimmy voice echoed in his head and he let go off Louise. The voice evoking memories, memories that drowned him with guilt, making him face reality. Reminding him that what he did was against all his promises, against what he had promised himself that dreadful day six years ago. He just couldn't do this to Louise, it was so wrong.

"Oh sorry!" Jimmy said, "didn't mean to disturb. It's just that Noah and Rachel were asking. They need them orders within ten minutes."

"It's okay Jimmy, we were done anyway," Kid mumbled, "gotta get these memo-slots to them."

He turned to walk away, stopping at the door. "You okay Lou? I'm so sorry!"

Lou watched him walk out on her, once again. Jimmy asked what the hell the Kid was sorry for this time?

"I have no idea," Lou replied.

Jimmy eyed her suspiciously. She smiled in his direction, telling him she needed to tidy up the place somewhat. Jimmy just nodded and disappeared.

Lou sank down to sit on the floor, resting the head up against the wall. Letting the music wash over her. Remembering Kid so close to her. So close in all senses. The words of the song finally penetrated into her mind:

A lovestruck Romeo
sings the streets a serenade
laying everybody low
with a lovesong that he made
finds a streetlight
steps out of the shade
says something like
you and me babe how about it?
Juliet says hey it's Romeo
you nearly gave me a heart attack
he's underneath the window
she's singing hey la my boyfriend's back
you shouldn't come around here singing up at people like that anyway what you gonna do about it?
Juliet the dice was loaded from the start
and I bet and you exploded in my heart
and I forget I forget the movie song
when you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong Juliet?
come up on different streets
they both were streets of shame
both dirty both mean
yes and the dream was just the same
and I dream your dream for you
and now your dream is real
how can you look at me as I was just another one of your deals?
well you can fall for chains of silver
you can fall for chains of gold
you can fall for pretty strangers
and the promises they hold
you promised me everything
you promised me thick and thin
now you just say oh Romeo yeah you know
I used to have a scene with him
Juliet
when we made love you used to cry
said I love you like the stars above
I'll love you till I die
there's a place for us
you know the movie song
when you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong?
Juliet
Can't do the talks like the talk on the TV
and I can't do a love song
like the way its meant to be
I can't do everything
but I'd do anything for you
can't do anything except be in love with you
and all I do is miss you
and the way we used to be
all I do is keep the beat
the band accompany make
all I do is kiss you
through the bars of Orion
Juliet I'd do the stars with you any time
Juliet
when we made love you used to cry
you said I love you like the stars above
Ill love you till I die
there's a place for us
you know the movie song
when you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong
Juliet?
and a lovestruck Romeo sings the streets a serenade
laying everybody low
with a lovesong that he made
finds a convenient streetlight
steps out of the shade
says something like you and me babe
how about it?
(Music and Lyrics by Mark Knopfler)

She just sat there replaying the song over and over, humming the words softly. Tears welling into her eyes. Grabbing the patch she removed it from behind her ear and cursed it; "goddamned useless thing!" With a sob she tossed it to the floor, looking at it for a moment before resting her head back on the wall. Tears now rolling down her cheek, but she had no idea if she was sad or immensely happy.

He had been so close she had felt his breath on her lips, his arm around her waist, his hands on her hips. Sending heat throughout her, promising her everything and more.

No need for chains of silver and gold, no promises to hold, just you and me - babe.

And then he had disappeared out of her reach again, taking the warmth along with him. Leaving her so incredibly lonely. Leaving her aching.

Closing her eyes she whispered to the empty room; "Oh God. Kid, do the stars with me, anytime!"

TBC

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|Prologue||Chapter 1||Chapter 2||Chapter 3||Chapter 4||Chapter 5||Chapter 6||Chapter 7||Chapter 8||Chapter 9||Chapter 10||Chapter 11||Chapter 12|

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