2313-41

It felt surreal, like an entire life time had passed in a couple of days, like they had all been reminded of the immense frailty in every existence. The frailty of friendship and the time lost because of stupid pride and pigheadedness. He lay there. Staring at the ceiling, Amanda's even, calm breaths bringing him comfort. Was it really this easy? Was it really true, that no man could survive as an island, that everybody was part of something bigger? Something that dragged you in even if you tried your damnedest to fight it? His mind whirled with questions and flashbacks, answers and conflicting emotions. He finally was able to think back on that awful day he had lost Marie, the day that had been so close to the surface, breaking through and laming him occasionally. He finally saw it, remembered it and there was nothing but an immense sadness. He had lifted that gun and killed Kid's brother, he hadn't been able to hold Marie when she died. But Kid had and he was forever grateful for that. Even though Kid must have hated them both at that instance, he was there for them. He had been there for him too, coming to get him out of the pit he had dug himself. He had hated him at first, then he had felt guilty about being saved. Kid had been a constant reminder of that guilt. But know he knew it wasn't like that, that was what you did when someone was in danger, you tried your damnedest to save them. He had been hard to save back then, just because he simply didn't want to be saved. Kid had done his best and pushed the right buttons. He was darned good at that, they both knew each other far too well. Like brothers. Kid had once said it himself, Jimmy was more like a brother to him than Jed ever was.

Jimmy smiled involuntary at the memories of them growing up together, mostly at odds but always looking out for each other. They were probably the most unlikely friends there ever was. Now he was able to look back on those days and smile at the memories. They didn't remind him of what had happened any more, he had regained his past. The good and the bad.

And if Lou and him hadn't been able to help Kid out in that ASA? He had no idea what that would have brought. He didn't feel like a hero, he felt nothing but gratitude. He didn't expect thanks or anything. Kid was alive, Lou was happy and so was he. His friend was back and with that the awful memories of that day had become clearer and less threatening. Easier to handle. Life still went on, it had to. And he was glad he still was part of it. It felt like he was granted a chance to start over. And this time he would get it right.

Amanda groaned at his side, elbowing him accidentally. Jimmy smiled and scooted closer.

"You, me, Kid and Lou," he grinned, "Sam and Teaspoon, Sweetwater, this time and age, how it all connects, how we all connect."

"I'm just grateful Manda," Jimmy continued, "I'm grateful were all here safe. That we ever met, that we were given the possibility. That you came back."

Amanda chuckled and let her head fall onto his chest; "Oh shut up Jimmy and get some sleep!"

Lou opened her eyes and looked into the darkness of the room. For a moment she didn't remember where she was at and why she was here? The presence at her side alerting her to turn her head and let her eyes fall on the man at her side, his head buried in the pillow. For a moment she thought he was dead, the certainty just filled her and she was afraid to move. The image of him on the ASA floor, his face a sick gray haunted her. It brought her back to that moment when he stopped breathing completely, one last labored breath and there was nothing. Then Jimmy started pumping air into him but she knew he was essentially dead. He didn't breathe by himself any longer. And she was helpless.

She didn't find her voice at first, the conviction that he was lying there at her side, dead, was so strong she thought she was imagining him moving.

"You sure sweetie?" He extended his hand to brush the hair out of her face. She turned her face away from him not to let him see how scared she was, how she had been assaulted by this uncontrollable fear that he was gone. She didn't want to let him see how it had affected her, she needed to be strong for him now. He shouldn't have to take care of a weeping wreck. "Just tired," she mumbled and turned to her stomach, hiding her face in the pillow, her breath finally getting slower enabling her to get air into her lungs.

She couldn't fool him, she never had been able to. But it was over now, the scare was dissipating.

"Just a nightmare, Kid," she spoke into the pillow, "I dreamt I was riding Lightning and he ran without control. Got scared that's all." She couldn't tell him she saw him dead in her bed now could she? Even when she was awake the images assaulted her. Not only in her dreams any more. She needed to be strong for him, no, she needed to be strong for herself.

"So what happened? Did you finally get him to stop?" Kid asked, close to her ear, his thumb tenderly massaging her temple.

"No, I woke just when he was about to jump from a cliff," Lou smiled slightly, turning to face Kid. She had had that dream too, she was sure of it, the night had been full of them. One more frightening than the other.

"I'm so sorry, Lou," Kid mumbled and kissed her nose, moving even closer to embrace her.

"Hang on Lou," reaching for her he took a hold of her wrist, "breakfast will wait."

"No it won't Kid," she stated, shaking herself loose. Almost falling out of bed in her hurry. "I'll bring some up for you if you don't feel like coming down. You just rest..."

"What's up Lou?" He threw his legs over the edge, the sheet making him almost topple head first out of bed. Then he groaned and fell back on his back onto the bed, grunting while trying to free himself from the covers.

That simple peril and his low moan when realizing he was effectively stuck made Lou's heart skip a beat. She gathered her clothes and slid out of the room. "Gotta take a shower ," she told the stunned man following her with his eyes.

She stopped inside the shower room, leaning up against the wall and taking a deep breath. Her hands trembled.

For the first time in weeks they were all seated around the table for breakfast. It was almost solemn. Even Cody had the common sense to stay quiet and enjoy the togetherness. Everybody was fine and alive. Amanda had returned. Jimmy sat by her side, a smile on his face. Like he had made peace with himself. Lou smiled at him over the table before sliding down to sit by his side. They all greeted her, smiles on their faces. Relief and gratitude expressed in low chuckles and easy banter.

A rumble and a mumble was heard from the top of the stairs. Everybody's eyes flew to the location, the mood turning pensive and hesitant. Like they didn't know what to expect..

"He all right?" Noah asked silently, his eyes looking over her face, like searching for alarming signs.

Kid came down, combing his still wet hair with his fingers. Noah threw Lou a glance, admonishing her for not staying with him, she gathered.

"Huh?" Kid asked, reaching the table. Getting no answer out of Lou he inched himself to her side, making her scoot closer to Jimmy. "Mornin' evr'body," Kid mumbled politely, his eyes roaming the room, looking for clues to the silence.

They all let out a collective sigh of relief and Amanda giggled; "Walked into a door or something up there Kid?"

"Somebody forgot their running shoes right in my path," Kid grinned amicably at her, "namely him!" He looked pointedly at Jimmy who groaned; "I thought my feet felt cold!"

Teaspoon gruffed at the end of the table; "I almost fell on my face over them too."

"Of curse not," Rachel sighed and Emma laughed while Amanda moaned demonstratively. Making Lou smile too, at the instant bonding of women trying to understand men and their peculiar one-task-at-the-time mode to operate.

Wisecracks were shot over the table. Finally the usual clatter of forks and spoons had returned. Emma appeared at their side with the cafspot ready, ruffling Lou's hair affectionately while pouring them a cup each.

Cody reached over and grabbed the casserole, digging deep inside it to get a sturdy amount of oatmeal.

"Let me guess," Kid started, "Jimmy made the porridge?" He smiled and nodded toward the casserole, the porridge was undoubtedly rather thick and gluey.

"Thank you Rachel but I think I'll donate mine to Cody," Kid offered, smiling as he watched Cody dig into the meal. A lump of yellow butter and half a gallon of milk competing for space on the plate.

"Know what," Jimmy laughed, "I think we're all grown out of oatmeal. 'Cept Cody, he'll eat anything he ain't cooked himself."

Subconsciously Lou held her eyes on Kid, not all convinced he was all right. She couldn't quite relax, she kept waiting for him to do something that would prove he had a brain-lesion, something that wasn't all right.

Kid must have noticed the subtle scrutiny he was under. He fumbled a little too much when he moved the glass for Emma to fill it. Lou held her eyes on his hand as it moved the glass to the side. It wobbled slightly and Lou threw him a concerned gaze.

Self-consciously he put it to rest on the table, visibly bothered as her eyes followed his moves.

Emma laid a hand on his shoulder while filling the glass. Lou took a piece of bread and smeared it thickly with butter before placing it on his plate.

"Jimmy," Lou grunted, stopping guilty when she found herself filling Kid's cafs mug with milk, like if he was unable to do it himself.

"Who'd a thunken," Cody chirped happily while snatching two pieces of bread from the basket.

"If we only could waken the decency in William F Cody we'd have it made," Amanda laughed. "Save me some of the rolls Cody, I saw you, you already had two!"

"I hope he's not referring to himself as the 'good'?" Sam chuckled at the other end of the table.

"Whoo hoo," Kid interrupted, "would somebody lay all this to me in laymen's terms?"

"Amanda, tell them, they've been more or less out of mission - so to say," Teaspoon urged.

Amanda leaned over the table with a conspiratory look on her face. "We got 'em!"

"Longley and his gang, the HuRec second in command and his helpers, WE got them all."

"Yep," Amanda nodded, seems that about fifty somewhat years ago they discovered and old photograph and a diary. That would be your diary Lou and the photograph is from Kid's and your wedding. They lifted a lot of particles of that diary and photo. Then it just grew from there, everyone that had been in touch with the Pony Express left some small trace somewhere, somehow. Got a small database of genomes from it. Then it just went on and on and on, initially they cloned people from that era. Or from the place, mostly Sweetwater and some place called Rock Creek. The more old genomes they found the more eager they got, they cloned 450.000 in all, from all over the place."

"And that was in the first wave, then they cloned another million." Amanda nodded. "But it was a small batch of the clones that were of interest, namely 15 in all. The lot of you, Emily and some other names I don't even recognize."

"You were all singled out by that man, Igraim, he saw to it that our lives were molded like he wanted too. He killed most of our parents to ensure a similar upbringing like our clonads. He manipulated events by bribing and coercing people. And to finance all this he sold clones to non approved parental candidates."

"No, there's the database that ensures that, that's why they started killing people. Longley and Ingram split for some reason and Longely started a venture of his own. A fresh cloning sample brings in around ten million."' Amanda smiled a side.looped smile, shaking her head.

"And HuRec didn't know?" Jimmy snorted, "you don't buy that do you, course they knew!"

"Some knew, "Amanda admitted, "some went along happily thanks to the cash flow. Others had no clue."

"He wanted his name up with the famous scientists," Amanda spoke with disgust, "he wanted to be the one that settled the age old argument of nature versus nurture. And he had it all set up, it was almost perfect. But then Longley wanted more and the rest is history. Longley got too greedy and they lost it all."

"Who knows if all ever will be found out," Teaspoon replied, "it's been going on for ages. I don't think we'll ever know the full truth."

"I wish they still had the death penalty," Jimmy remarked, "I'd even consider executing them myself if I ever get my hands on them."

"Death is easier than living with regrets Jimmy," Kid said silently, "you outta know that Jimmy."

An uneasy silence grew around the table, all the attention back on the Kid. He mumbled and looked down into his plate. Lou extended a hand and laid on on his arm. She still had a lot of questions, but she was confident they would be answered in time.

"Let's open the Bordeaux," Sam shattered the silence, "we should celebrate. We have a lot to be thankful off."

"Hey! I'd wipe that smirk off my face if I was you and tell the good news!" Cody swirled the butterknife around in a enticing gesture.

"What news?" Noah looked up, his eyes wandering from Cody to Ike and then back again.

"He's gettin' hitched," Buck informed them, "he popped the question and Emily's taken upon her to save his poor soul and come out here too. I'm gonna miss the card playing nights."

"It's about time too," Cody stated absentmindedly, "I'm looking forward to have a namesake."

"Well," Kid intervened, "if memory serves me right Ike promised to name the firstborn after me if we ever got out of that strontium thing."

"What?" Jimmy put in, "if it's a girl? You want the poor child to be named what? Kidina?"
There was a burst of laughter around the table.

Kid glared over the table at Jimmy: "No I was thinking more like something like Josephine."

"Josephine?" Ike groaned, "Kid please, get some of your own if you wanna punish them like that!"

"How-mmm m-about commom mmm-decency?" Cody pointed out with his mouth full of his fifth bread roll.

Then they all had to turn to Ike and pat his back to save him from the crumble of bread that had stuck into his windpipe.

Jimmy laughed wholeheartedly at Kid's glare. "Her Majesty as Lou calls Madam Katy, suits her perfectly."

"As I hear she's been bathed and brushed, cuddled and pampered, it's likely she didn't miss you at all," Amanda chimed in. "That prissy little mare, she snorted at the oats I offered last night, very rude."

"See, he hasn't had a conversation with Her Majesty in days," Noah grinned, "he..."

"..is lacking the intellectual stimulation," Cody filled in. "And while you're at it Doolittle, would you have a talk with Belle too, she's gettin' a bit hard to handle."

"And who's fault is that?" Ike asked with a talkative glance at the former speaker.

"Yeah Cody," Jimmy said, "I told you not to school her with Emma's breadrolls, she's addicted."

"And if she gets another stomach ache I'm not tending to her, " Buck muttered, "I spent three hours trying to get that medicine into her."

"Yeah that's right Cody, fight evil with evil?" Amanda quipped. "In your case that would mean you'd be responsible for the kitchen region, that evil enough for you?"

"Now boys and girls," Emma warned from the counter, "stop teasin' 'im or I'll personally see to it that you get double duty in the kitchen. And get out! There's still chores to be done."

"Now hold on Billy," Rachel protested, "the vacuum-cleaner is dying for your company."

"Poor baby, " Emma replied, "guess that leaves you in charge of chasing the dust. Happy hunting."

They all filed out, laughing silently at Sam's long face as he stood in the middle of the kitchen floor, a damp rag in his left hand and his mouth agape.

Lou smiled at the scene, sticking her hand into Kid's awaiting one when she stepped out into the cool air. They all stood there for a moment, breathing the high, clear, nipping cold, air, watching the bleak sun as it rose over the treetops. They didn't need words at this specific moment, being together and alive was enough. Staying out on that porch and watching the sun bath the nature was more than they had hoped for the last days. Cody deliberately stood swaying on the plank they all knew squeaked everytime you stepped on it.

With smiles at each other they all recognized their bond, bonds that reached further back than they were able to conceive. Buck and Ike headed for the stables, Cody sighing deeply as he walked over to the henhouse.

Kid just stood there, breathing deeply. Looking perfectly happy. Lou looked up at him, squeezing his hand slightly.

"You ain't going riding, ya hear," she told him adamantly. "You can visit but that's all."

"I don't think he minds," Amanda giggled, "I think he's the kind of man who loves a woman bossing him."

"Manda," Kid smiled at her, tilting his head, "you know what? Jimmy's right, you're cute."

"Amanda," Kid leaned in on her, grinning from ear to ear., "I heard Teaspoon call you Manda, and a blind man can tell Jimmy's smitten, doesn't take much to put the rest together. But now I dying to know, them details must be interesting."

Kid stepped back and let go off Lou's hand, chuckling. "Take back what you said about Katy or the whole base's gonna know. That is if they don't already."

Amanda let out a sound between a growl and a wheeze and took a leap to attach him. Kid turned on his heels and ran.

"Just don't hit his head," Lou mumbled, starting after them. She hated to admit it, but she still was worried, far more worried than she had ever been before un her life. It was closer to fear than mere worry.

Jimmy laughed behind her and took two long steps to reach up to her. "He'll be fine Lou."

Lou crossed her arms over her chest while walking briskly to the barn. A sudden chill had taken over her. Jimmy's arm around her shoulders didn't help. Those images of Kid on the floor - lifeless - kept intruding, keeping her on her toes. She shrugged.

Jimmy's silence told her he didn't believe her. But she didn't feel like telling him, it would pass, she was just being stupid. After all that had happened, nothing else ever would, it just couldn't. There must be some limit to what can happen, isn't there?

She mastered to smile as Kid took her hand anew, dragging her along. Bowing to scoop the cat up in his lap and saluting the tabby with an affectionate ruffling of the streaked fur just as Katy stuck her head out of the stall and nickered in delight. She smiled at the commotion he caused in the stable, the cat crawling up on his shoulder, digging its claws into the coat and purring loudly. Katy scraping her front hoof against the floor and whinnying softly at the sight of her master. He opened the stall door and dragged Lou inside the mare's stall, stroking Katy's neck affectionately. The cat on his shoulder arching its back and leaning up against his head while trampling in ecstasy. Katy leaning her head on his free shoulder. Lou turned to watch him, surrounded with the animals he loved. Kid looked down at her, snuggling her closer to him, his radiant smile telling her how immensely happy he was right now.

"So when's the wedding?" Buck asked as he let the corn fall into the bucket, the hen cackling loudly around his feet, showing no respect whatsoever. "And where's them vitamins or whatever that greenish stuff is?"

"Huh?" Ike appeared with the basket of fresh eggs tucked under his arms."I have no idea ask Cody."

Ike smiled and shook his head, "you're starting to act like him, you know, never taking anything seriously."

"It's you that's dodging my questions Ike, and please get me a scoop of that , whatever it is in the sack over in the corner."

Ike took his sweet time while he walked up to the feedbag, fumbling inside it for a moment before finding the measure. Then he lifted it up into the air and controlled one last time it was the exact measure. The hen crawled around Buck's feet, occasionally attaching each other furiously.

"You know Buck," Ike said as he came sauntering towards him, "that fighting around your feet, it reminds me of something else."

"Uh huh," Ike finally got close enough to empty the feed into the bucket. Buck swirled it around vigorously to mix it with the corn. As he poured it onto the floor the hen vanished with high-pitched squabbles.

"Don't start on me Ike," Buck said, "I know what you're getting at but look at them. When they get what they want they're gone, everyone of them."

"When the right one comes along you'll know Buck," Ike smiled sheepishly, "just like I did."

Buck shook his head at the grin on Ike's face, somehow it felt like he was losing his best friend.

|Prologue||Chapter 1||Chapter 2||Chapter 3||Chapter 4||Chapter 5||Chapter 6||Chapter 7||Chapter 8||Chapter 9||Chapter 10|
|Chapter11||Chapter 12||Chapter 13||Chapter 14*||Chapter 15||Chapter 16||Chapter 17||Chapter 18||Chapter 19||Chapter 20*|
|Chapter 21||Chapter 22||Chapter 23||Chapter 24||Chapter 25||Chapter 26||Chapter 27||Chapter 28||Chapter 29||Chapter 30|
|Chapter 31*||Chapter 32||Chapter 33||Chapter 34||Chapter 35||Chapter 36||Chapter 37||Chapter 38||Chapter 39||Chapter 40| |Chapter 41||Chapter 42|