© Becca, Dana Simmons and Starbright 2001 The Young Riders is an Ogiens/Kane Production, created by Ed Spielman.
We only borrow his characters for fun. No infringement of copyright intended. There is absolutely no financial gain for the authors. We survive on the feedback, and we need plenty of it.
2313
Chapter 9
The door to the tackroom in the main stable was ajar, the crack exposing a dim light seeping from the room. She paused a moment before entering, waiting to hear if he had noticed her arrival. Only sound in the stable was the horses munching on their hay. There was no other movements in the stables and Lou found it so restful she would have liked to curl up in the hay herself, and just listen to the peace and harmony. Of course Kid would take to his sanctuary in times like this, that was just him.
With her index finger she opened the door wider, peeking in. Still not sure if he actually was in there. Letting her eyes wander over the overly filled room to the foldable chair in the furthest corner, she smiled. All she could see was his feet resting on Katy's wooden tackbox, which was filled with gear, to the point that the lid wouldn't close any longer. The chair was turned away from the door, in perfect angle for resting one's feet comfortably on the box. Still, sleeping like that was all but comfortable, he'd be lucky if he was able to stand straight if she let him sleep like that all night, double-folded, feet up in the air. She opened the door fully and started inside. Stopping as Kid flew up from his position, sending the cat that had been sleeping in his lap wheezing and the chair tipped under him as he drew his legs away from the box and tried standing up at the same time. Resulting in him crashing down to the floor and the foldable chair falling over him. Then he cursed. The cat scurried out of the room with a pathetic meowing sound.
"Kid," Lou asked, hurrying up to him, astonished by his actions. "Did I scare ya?" She looked down on him, taking the chair and removing it off him, trying to straighten her face and not laugh out loud.
"No-o-o," Kid mumbled and crawled to his feet.
"Sorry!" Lou smiled, he looked so different like this, all his control gone and a boyish feature surfacing as he stood in front of her wiping the sleep from his eyes, glancing awkwardly at her, like he was ashamed of being seen like this. Half asleep and not fully coherent yet. Innocence uncovered. "Didn't mean to scare you, you ain't been in all evening is all, got me wonderin', you okay?" Glancing up at him, noticing his troubled face as he nodded slightly.
"Lou, I didn't mean to..." he began, head downcast, avoiding her look.
"Shhh Kid, I came here to thank you for what you did, you didn't give me any chance earlier. Kid, don't go blaming yourself, you did what you had to do. He'd a killed me....probably...if you hadn't..."
"Killed him," Kid said grimly.
"Killed him," Lou confirmed.
"And he was your father Lou," Kid continued, his voice tense, "I murdered you father Lou, how can you ever..."
Lou sighed and sank down to the floor, the memories of her father rushing over her. Having her grind her teeth.
"Lou?" Kid sank to the floor in front of her, taking her hands into his.
"Kid, let me tell you a couple of things about my father," she told the man in front of her. "Let me tell you what I think of when I hear the word 'father', it ain't pretty, let me tell you that much!"
Kid seated himself on the floor and held on to her hands, her palms resting lightly on his; "tell me Lou."
She wasn't able to look at him, instead she let her gaze rest on the floor. "First thing I remember about my father was him yelling at my mother, can't remember about what, I was too small to understand. But I heard the scorn in his voice plain and clear. And I remember feeling my mother getting tense, holding me as to protect me." She clearly felt Kid stiffening at her words, so she glanced up on him. His eyes resting on her. She looked away, not feeling comfortable about being pitied but needing to tell him everything, she had no idea why, she just needed to tell. So she did, she told him about the endless promises never being kept, the disappearing, the shame she felt when he was arrested, his face and name on all the screens in their burgh. How the shame had colored her childhood, being the daughter of a convicted criminal. Then when he returned, hateful and bitter. Always showing her disrespect, telling she'd never amount to nothing. The fighting late at night, her mother trying to get him to leave, until he fell to his knees and cried. Promising never to do it again. Her mother always giving in, forgiving him. Him always forgetting his promises. His laugh as she fell down from the stairs and hurt her knee real bad, his laugh echoing in her ears as the neighbor's took her to the hospital. That was the day he walked away from them, never to come back. Only sporadic calls, telling them how fine he was now that he had gotten rid of his life's biggest mistakes. Lou and her mother.
While she talked more and more memories trickled into her mind, her voice getting thick. Kid snuggled up to sit behind her, embracing her and resting her head on his chest.
"I hated him Kid, I hated him more than I thought possible."
He just held on to her, resting his cheek on her head, staying absolutely quiet until her trembling stopped and she breathed easier in his lap. He softly stroke her hair; "there must have been some good times too, Lou. He can't have been all bad. He made you Lou, proves to me he wasn't all bad."
At his words the feared memories of the good times rolled in over her, those memories she was afraid to touch. Because they stirred up a deep-rooted pain. The pain of not understanding. Early mornings she trampled down the stairs and found him sitting at the table, smiling at her, asking her what she wanted for breakfast. Making her 'angelfood', something she recalled tasted like heaven, but she never found out exactly how it was done. The dress he had bought her for her tenth birthday, the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, all the girls being envious. Christmases she and her father sang the old hymns, out loud and her mother laughing in the kitchen as she heard them. Small things that her father had done, things to make her proud. Things that made her love that hateful man.
"Yeah," she said into Kid's shirt, her voice crumpling up as tears welled from her eyes. Crying helplessly at the insight of the love she had felt for her father, no matter what. The good memories mingling with the bad, having her see her father in another light. Human, more bad than good but still her father. And now he was gone.
"I never wanted to take him away from you sweetie, I'm so sorry for that. I know you loved him too. We always do, deep inside."
Lou threw her arms around Kid's neck and buried her face deep into the crook of his neck, not knowing of any other way to thank him. For understanding, for being the Kid. He settled her into his lap and held on, quietly rocking her. If she was ever to bring children into this world she hoped their father would be like the Kid.
She smiled through tears at her rampant thoughts. "I'm sorry Kid," she mumbled, freeing herself from his hold. "Came to get you inside and look what I do, keep you up with the story of my pathetic life! Come on already, let's get inside." Crawling up to her feet she extended her hand to him. He took it and eased himself up.
In silence they walked back to the house, no words needed. Lou felt her steps lighter and her heart no longer filled with the heaviness, she stopped and looked up into the sky. "Rest in peace, Pa" she said. She more felt than saw Kid smile behind her. She turned to watch as he walked past her, letting go of her hand.
"Call your boyfriend, Lou. He needs to know you're all right." Cupping her face in his hand he let the thumb caress her cheek, a sad smile in his eyes. Then he turned and walked away from her.
She remain watching him as he walked briskly inside. Ike and Buck telling him something as he walked by, Kid raising his hand, making a kind of a wave in their direction. His last words leaving her startled, she hadn't gotten two words out of what she intended to tell him. He had gotten her to pour her soul out instead. Damn it, he did it again, he had me tell him things I've never told anybody, not even Ma for goodness sake! She had gone there to comfort him, telling him it was all right, as usually he had somehow turned the tables, relieving her pain instead. They had never touched him, come to think of it we never do. What is it about him that he is hiding, why all these secrets? And why did his remark about the boyfriend disturb her so deeply? She kicked the ground hard in pure frustration, he was truly getting under her skin. And she had promised herself not to let anybody get to her like this. Muttering to herself she started for the house.
Feeling Buck and Ike's eyes on her she walked up to them, arching her eyebrows at their bemused faces. Ike seemed to be searching for an appropriate song to whistle. Lou whacked him friendly, "shut up Ike!"
Buck laughed and pulled out a chair for her. Gratefully Lou sank into it, resting her feet on the railing, looking into the starless velvety night.
Soon enough Emma hollered for them to get their sorry butts inside.
"Lou!"
She cracked her eyes open, just to find Rachel looking at her.
"Better get up Lou, HuRec will be here in half and hour, there's gonna be an official hearing!"
"But nothing happened, it was just a kiss!" Lou stammered,
still half a sleep, her thoughts running wild. Visions of her and Kid seated
opposite each other with HuRec officials giving them the third degree played
before her eyes. She swung her legs over the bedside. Groaning she cursed herself
for what she had let happen. A damned kiss would force her to give up her dream.
Who knew, who had reported them, who wanted to see them leave?
"A hearing? Like we committed some hideous crime? Jeez..."
"Lou," Rachel seized her with a smile, "about yesterday, nothing else. But if you wanna tell me something, I am the..."
"Oh Lord!" Lou moaned and hid her face in her palms, resting her elbows on the knees, "I'm such a blabbermouth. Of course, the incident, the explosion....sure..a hearing...will be down right away."
"Lou, are you okay?" The blond woman sat herself down at Lou's side, resting a hand on her shoulder.
Lou couldn't help but laugh at herself. Chuckling she shook her head at her own behavior. How come that suddenly she thought that the world orbited around her and Kid? That everything that happened around this place was somehow connected to the two of them and what they had done, what she felt? Why was it that she wanted to walk over to Kid's room right now and check if he was okay? Why was he so important to her? This was truly ridiculous, she was a becoming a total nutcase. If she didn't look out she'd become emotionally dependent and end up like her mother, bitter when left. Women were always left, one way or another. And now it seemed she was starting down that path herself, the path she had promised never to thread! "I'm fine Rachel, I don't know what came over me, musta been dreaming."
"Uh huh," Rachel smiled. "Why is the thing between you two bothering you so much? You like him Lou, nothing wrong with that."
Lou let out a bitter laugh, "that's the most dangerous thing that can happen to you, Rachel. Don't ever go liking anybody too much, don't ever go trusting anybody, it'll kill you in the end."
"Lou! What's wrong, is it Kid shooting your father, is that what this is all about?"
"No!" Lou shook her head vehemently while she gathered her clothes, "I'm sure sure I'd be dead if he hadn't. I don't blame him for shooting him, I blame him for reminding me that I loved him!"
"Huh?" Rachel stared at her, her brow wrinkled.
"Never mind Rachel, it's just that my father was among them terrorists, don't you think it might make HuRec a little suspicious about me. Isn't this what the hearing is all about?"
"No Lou, they don't even wanna talk with you. It's Kid and Ike, I just thought you wanted to be there for them."
Lou dropped her clean clothes to the floor. "Kid and Ike? Why them? I mean - we were all there!"
"I don't know Lou, maybe because they were closest to the vessel, maybe because they think it was them causing the thing to explode, I don't know Lou, I just know they're coming and we should all be there for them."
Lou felt her heart leap strangely in her chest, Ike and Kid!
Why were they being singled out? The two gentlest men she had ever encountered
in her life, men that were to be trusted. Should they be punished for a thing
that they were all involved with. That was so unfair!
"Rachel, we just can't lose them!"
"Lou, we just don't know why they will be coming here yet, I admit it's unusual, in fact I've never heard of HuRec Strat-official's personally visiting any reconstruction team as of yet. But maybe..."
"Maybe it's the last thing my father's giving me, the damned bastard. Taking away my friends, wouldn't that be just like him! Even dead the goddamned stinking piece of shit is..."
"Lou," Rachel called again, "we just don't know, but hell we'll do everything we can, they won't take anybody away from us. They'll stay with us, I'll see to it myself if I have to."
"Me too," Lou sighed against Rachel's shoulder, "I'll pull their teeth out if I have to, and then trample all over them if they try to take him away. I'll..."
"You'll take a shower and simmer down," Rachel said and pushed her out the door, in the direction of the bathroom. "Just do me a favor, at the hearing, don't tell the HuRec what you just told me. They just might take it wrong."
"I will do it and worse too if I have to," Lou promised before Rachel shut the door on her. Shaking her head Rachel went to knock on the rest of the doors. There would be no sleeping in this morning, like she had promised them. She wondered what it would do the tightly knitted group is somebody had to leave, what it would do to Lou if Kid had to leave? She shrugged, thinking about her own reactions it was Noah.....Noah! You gotta stop thinking like that, you gotta pull yourself together Rachel. This is not the familiar burgh, these are people you have to live and work with day after day. There's too much to lose to start fooling around. But Noah, there's something...shut up you fool and do your work!
But she soon realized she'd probably be pulling teeth too if they took Noah away, there was something about working with him, just being with him that had her smiling. Yeah, I'll probably help Lou pull them teeth if things come to the worst, Rachel thought wryly as she knocked for the third time on Cody's door, to then open it and holler the inhabitant's name.
"I thought I'd never have the pleasure!" was the reply from inside the room.
"Dream on Cody, but while you're at it get yourself downstairs in half-an-hour."
"Trouble?" Cody face appeared a mere inch before hers.
"I don't know," Rachel admitted, "might be, HuRec's coming here for a hearing."
"They found out about Kid and Lou?" Cody wondered, "heck, so soon? I didn't find out until..."
Rachel shut the door on him and grinned widely, no she'd pull them teeth for each and every one in this group. She felt like she had known them forever, and she wasn't gonna lose any of them.
They stood lined up like a perfect army detail, watching the ASA land. Nobody moved to get closer to greet them, not even Teaspoon. He simply crossed his arms over his chest and drew the basketball cap deeper over his eyes. Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other as the frontpanel opened.
Lou felt her jaw tighten as three HuRec officials stepped out. One elderly woman and a man about the same age, then a third much younger woman joined them. At the sight of the three she stepped to stand in front of Kid, protectively, biting down on her lips as she realized what she just had done.
That's the chief herself!" Somebody whispered in surprise. A buzz went through the group, HuRec really meant business this time, sending the chief of command out. The highest ranking officer, the woman that had been the force behind HuRec for over fifty years, one of the founders of the enterprise. Lou glanced over at Ike, he stood there, his usual red bandana in place, watching the officials' walk, his face stern, not reveling a single emotion. Lou fought the urge to turn and watch Kid standing behind her. She could feel his breathing, slow and calm, but she knew that deep inside he must be wondering. If this was his last moment on the Sweetwater project, his last moment as a HuRec pioneer, one of the few chosen? Lou felt instant dislike toward the two approaching, she stared them down, not even flinching as the elderly woman looked right back at her. Calmly she let them know just what she felt about them, just how much she disliked people that always came in after the deed was done. Resourceful and witty, giving you all the right answers to what outta have been done. Point remained, they were not there when it happened, so they had no right to come here afterwards and tell them they did wrong, no right whatsoever!
The gray-haired woman stepped up on the porch and extended her hand to Teaspoon; " a pleasure to meet you Mr. Hunter."
Teaspoon scoffed something under his beard but shook the hand extended to him. Lou watched and thought she saw the woman's lips twitch, like suppressing a smile. Is she enjoying this, her power over us? Lou's dislike grew by the minute.
"We won't keep you long, we just need to get some clarifications," she said. "Is it okay if we start with you John?"
Lou watched the woman turn to Kid and she had to refrain herself from stepping closer to him and telling the woman, 'no!' Kid just stepped forward from behind her, brushing against her as he passed the narrow space between Lou and the post. Lou kept her eyes on the woman and was taken aback once more when her eyes glittered with humor as Kid made his move. Then she looked straight at Lou, and this time she actually smiled; "This won't take long." Turning to Teaspoon she asked if it was all right to use his office. Teaspoon nodded and the two and Kid proceeded into the house. The rest of them remaining on the porch, staring at the closed door, glancing uneasily at each other. Avoiding to look at Ike, Ike who would be next.
Lou found herself standing with her fists clenched hard, she was angry and sad all together. Angry that two of them were singled out, angry that there was nothing she could do about it. Sad close to tears that this was most probably the last time they would be together, all of them. New ones would arrive and Ike and Kid would not be there. And she didn't want any new ones to arrive, it felt like she had known them all forever. In another lifetime, some other place maybe. It felt like being home with people you loved. And now it was being shattered.
"He packed already," Jimmy said all of a sudden.
"What?" Sam asked.
"Kid, he packed already. Like he knew what was coming." Jimmy stated, "he always had that eerie premonition thing going. And this time it seems he was right too."
"He packed?" Emma asked, "when did that happen?"
"I don't know," Jimmy shrugged, "I just saw the bags on the floor. Musta done it this morning."
"Whatever he did he ain't going nowhere," Lou wheezed. "They have no right, they weren't there! Ike and him belong here, with us!" Turning to finally watch Ike, standing still by the railing, looking at the door. "Ike, you just ain't goin!"
Ike turned to her and smiled sadly, "Well Lou, it isn't like we have much to say. We are all HuRec pioneers and we all know that means they can send us anywhere they like. We cannot say much about it, only other thing we can do is quit and go home."
They all stared at him, the resign in his voice, the grim fact he was presenting them with. The sorrow of leaving, expressed in his eyes.
Lou felt a lump in her throat, and she had to look away. She turned to look at the trees in front of the house, the open field carrying her sight straight to the mountains. The sun of the early morning, not yet too hot, just like a warm caress over the green land in front of her. The fresh morning dew still lingering in the air. She knew how much Kid loved the wild, how much he respected it. It was so evident in all he did, he was born to be a pioneer, just like they all were. She would have loved to have gotten to know him better, to truly know all his dreams and hopes, his demons and his sorrows. But she wouldn't, instead she'd have to get to know somebody new, somebody she already was disliking because they were taking Kid and Ike away.
The door was opened and she spun around, finding herself eye to eye with the elderly woman.
"Louise, I need to speak to you too," the woman told her.
Lou felt her heart drop a thousand miles, leaving her momentarily empty, lightheaded. Remaining where she was as she looked at the official in front of her, not quite believing what she had said. Or had Kid said something to them to cast her under suspicion? Had he...
"Louise?" The woman repeated."It'll be brief."
Lou felt the astonishment leave her and determined anger take its place. Nobody would make her leave, they might try, but she just wouldn't leave!
"All right," she said, stepping up to stand in front of the woman. She opened the door fully and motioned for Lou to continue inside.
She felt drained as she walked to the office, totally drained of all emotions. A thousand thoughts whirling in her mind, despair and anger, surprise and rage all mixing in her the closer she got to the door. He sold me out, the rat! The stinking weasel, the goddamned ass! She cursed the Kid vehemently in her mind, cursing herself just as much, for ever trusting him. This was the pay she got for telling him all those things, for liking him enough to let him know things about her nobody had been allowed to before. He turned and sold her out to save his own skin. Her hands started trembling at the thought of him, probably telling them she had forced herself on him, behaving improperly. Ogling him and never leaving him alone. The perfect retaliation for her words yesterday. The perfect payback.
"Please sit down, Louise," the man behind the desk said and she stirred, never realizing she had walked right into the room without thinking, now finding herself face to face with the HuRec official. He was smiling sadly, like belittling her for what she had done, for the mistakes she had made in trusting somebody. Lou remain staring at him.
"Louise," the elderly woman said softly, placing a cool hand on her tense shoulder. "I'm so sorry about your loss, please accept my condolences."
Lou spun to watch her, biting her teeth together tightly. Am I gonna be blamed for my father's actions too?
"Please sit," the woman continued, motioning for the chair pulled opposite the desk. "We just wanna make sure you're all right, John told us he killed your father. He was worried about you!"
Worried? Oh yeah! Lou thought bitterly, worried he wouldn't be able to get me and not himself outta here! "I'm fine, thanks," Lou responded with a strained voice, finally seating herself, gathering all her strength to take her dismissal, as a woman. Strong and confident.
"I'm sorry too Louise," the man finally spoke up, "we had no idea your father was involved, not until the autopsy. We would have kept you away if we had the least suspicions about this. We know how you felt about him Louise, and it must be hard meeting him like this and then losing him."
Lou let her gaze rest on the man, not a single emotion on her face, she nodded, making a guarded admission to the fact.
"Anything you need just let us know, we're truly sorry it happened this way. We'll make all the arrangements if you wish, I already spoke to your mother and she said it was all right. Do you wish to handle it Louise, or should we?"
"I don't want anything to do with that man," Lou spoke, their empathy suddenly having her throat tighten, "dead or alive." Her guard down at the concern in their voices.
The woman moved to sit on the armrest of the chair Lou found herself in. The hand on her shoulder again, resting there, just as a comfort. "Don't worry Louise, we'll take care of everything, if you want we'll send for you when the funeral takes place."
"No," Lou shook her head, "I buried him a long time ago."
Silence fell in the room and Lou started relaxing, this was nothing like what she had expected. No questions were asked, just comfort offered. And Lou sensed it was genuine. After a long pause Lou lifted her eyes to meet with the woman sitting at her side. "What's gonna happen with Kid? John I mean?" she asked.
"Happen?" the man repeated from the other side of the desk.
Lou peered back at him, irritated at the man's answering her questions with echoing her words. "Well he was in here before, I guess you had something to tell him, just wondering what?"
"Is that important to you?" the woman said, a soft smile in the eyes.
Lou realized they might be setting her up. Fooling her with their emphatic behavior. Maybe trying to get her to confess certain things, maybe Kid really had told them? "What the hell did he tell you exactly?" she lashed out, defensively retreating from the hand on her shoulder.
"What is there to tell?" The man was smiling too, trying to hide it, but still smiling.
Lou was getting more and more irritated by the behavior they both exhibited, the psycho-babble was getting too much to handle. She'd rather have the facts spilled out, something she could either deny or admit to, she wasn't about to spill the beans. "I don't know, but there's an ulterior reason you're here, no?"
"And what ulterior reason would that be?" The man continued repeating her words instead of answering.
Lou had had it for now. Rising to her feet she looked at the pair. "Am I through? Is there anything you need to know?"
Both watched her, unnerving her with their contemplation in complete silence. That air of knowing something disturbing her deeply. She was about to burst out of the room when the woman rose, and extended her hand to Lou. "Take care Louise, you're doing a fine job. Anything you need, let us know." The woman smiled as she squeezed her hand, Lou retreating slightly at the contact.
I wanna know if you're sending Kid away coz' of me! I need Kid to stay, I need us all to stay right here! Lou wanted to scream. I wanna know what games you're playing, I wanna know what you're doing here, really. "I'll be fine," she said and took the man's hand too as he extended it courteously to her.
"Sure hope so," he said and Lou let go of his hand and backed out. Trying to read their faces as they looked at her stumbling backwards.
Closing the door behind her she turned and found them all looking expectantly at her. All except Kid and Ike.
"There's someone I gotta see," she growled and pushed through the group. Running through the door, knowing she'd find Kid outside, maybe already in the ASA with the third official, she hadn't even thought about the woman, of course she was escorting Kid to the vessel. Taking them away, him and Ike. Now she had to tell Kid the truth, face to face. She would have to tell him she really didn't mean anything of what she said. She had to ask him to forgive her for the harsh words. And for what she had been thinking about him, accused him of in her mind as she walked into that room. She needed to see him, one last time.
The gray-haired woman turned to the man behind the desk. Shaking her head as he smiled at her. "You were being cruel!"
"I was?" the man replied, "I didn't let her think all those crazy things, and you never said anything." Pensively he stroke his chin; "Now tell me, why was it so important for you to see the two of them?"
"Because of this," the woman replied, reaching into her purse and extracting a book, a very antique book, looking like it was about to fall into a million pieces.
"This?" The man replied mystified. Looking briefly at the book then back at the woman.
"Her clonad's diary, the tale of her life. Of their lives."
"Their lives?"
"Stop repeating every damned thing I say," the woman laughed "It's irritating the hell outta me. Yes, the clonads Kid and Louise were in love the 19th century, married and all. That's how this all started if you remember. But their road to get there was very bumpy."
"Oh, you had to see true love," the man smiled and rose to walk over to her, "Yeah, I remember now, but you should have reminded me. I love it when you're being a romantic. Hell this is scary. Their PEA-levels are sky-high as it is. Does that mean that the one we will fall in love with is in our genes? Predestined?"
"More likely lust," the woman mumbled, taking the Diary and placing it back inside her purse.
The man entwined one arm around her waist, kissing her cheek affectionately. "I can vouch for that!"
"Jesus Christ man, " the woman cursed, "not here, there's people outside, might wander in at any moment. We're on an official visit here, keep your hands to yourself!"
"Don't curse," he frowned automatically, like in an age old habit. "That's why you came here, to see young love and to remember."
"Young lust," she laughed, "I don't even know if love exists!"
"I love it when you get all cynical on me too. Let's go home and I'll show you," the man promised.
"And I came here to collect proof," she said to him, waving a warning finger under his nose. "Don't go getting' any wild ideas."
"Whatever," he smiled. "Let's go and leave them young ones alone, they have better things to do."
She laughed as she started out, knowing exactly where his mind was at the moment. Then she turned back to watch him. He was an old geezer all right, but he was hers. Whatever evolutional phases that happened in the human race one trait remained strong, the ability of loving. And she sure hoped Kid and Louise would feel what she felt for the old geezer camping with her. She promised herself to keep an eye on the two of them. She would have liked to tell them it was all right to fall in love, but she couldn't. She too was bound by an oath, the oath to not interfere. To let life takes its course. Letting each and every one be steered by whatever you believed in, faith or God's will, Jahve or Buddha, pure chance of luck. She had sworn to not disclose any of the secrets, but this time she truly wished she would have been able to.
And maybe she'd find a way, sometime and somehow.
TBC
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