Blackboard Openings
These are all the blackboard openings that i have seen. If you know of anymore please email them to me.
***Note that all quotes were originally in all capital letters, but any punctuation appears as it did in the original quotes.
Openings are listed in the order in which they were first shown.
- I will not waste chalk
- I will not skateboard in the halls
- I will not burp in class
- I will not instigate revolution
- I will not draw naked ladies in class
- I did not see Elvis
- I will not call my teacher
- Garlic gum is not funny
- They are laughing at me, not with me
- I will not yell
- I will not encourage others to fly
- I will not fake my way through life
- Tar is not a plaything
- I will not Xerox my butt
- It's potatoe, not potatto
- I will not trade pants with others
- I am not a 32 year old woman
- I will not do that thing with my tongue
- I will not drive the principal's car
- I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
- I will not sell school property
- I will not cut corners
- I will not get very far with this attitude
- I will not make flatuent noises in class
- I will not belch the National Anthem
- I will not sell land in Florida
- I will not grease the monkey bars
- I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
- I will not do anything bad ever again
- I will not show off
- I will not sleep through my education
- I am not a dentist
- Spitwads are not free speech
- Nobody likes sunburn slappers
- High explosives and school don't mix
- I will not bribe Principal Skinner
- I will not squeak chalk
- I will finish what I sta
- I will not fake rabies
- Underwear should be worn on the inside
- The Christmas Pageant does not stink
- I will not torment the emotionally frail
- I will not carve gods
- I will not spank others
- I will not aim for the head
- I will not barf unless I'm sick
- I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
- I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
- I will not conduct my own fire drills
- Funny noises are not funny
- I will not spin the turtle
- I will not snap bras
- I will not fake seizures
- This punishment is not boring and pointless
- My name is not Dr. Death
- I will not defame New Orleans
- I will not prescribe medication
- I will not bury the new kid
- I will not teach others to fly
- I will not bring sheep to class
- A burp is not an answer
- Teacher is not a leper
- Coffee is not for kids
- I will not eat things for money
- I will not yell
- The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
- I will not call the principal 'spud head'
- Goldfish don't bounce
- Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
- No one is interested in my underpants
- MORE
