Prologue
Buffy stirred slightly in her sleep as the annoying beeping of her alarm pierced her dreamy sleep. She yanked her pillow over head trying to drown out the offensive noise. The noise still reached her ears, and defeated, Buffy hurled the pillow across the room.
"Would you shut that bleeding thing off."
The voice came from the cold body sleeping next to Buffy. Buffy opened her eyes, and glanced over at the naked form next to her. He was lying on his stomach with the sheet covering the lower half of his body, but his smooth, pale, lean back was exposed. His head was resting on the pillow facing Buffy. His bleached hair was tousled, his mouth was slightly open, and his eyes were closed hiding the blue orbs that Buffy could always loose herself in.
Buffy sighed before reaching over, and switching off the alarm. Today was the last day of summer. Today Willow came home. Today everything was going to go back to normal. Today was the last day Buffy would wake up with Spike in her bed.
Part 1
Buffy walked into her house after patrol, and found Spike sitting on the couch, his feet propped on the table, watching Monty Python. Spike didn't look up when she walked in. Instead he continued to watch the TV screen.
Buffy walked over to him, and sat next to him on the couch. Without a word, Spike lifted his arm in invitation, and Buffy settled against his body. She rested her head on his chest, as Spike laid his arm across her back, and pulled her tighter against him. He kissed the top of her head, and then went back to watching the TV.
Buffy closed her eyes, and silently enjoyed the moment knowing it would all end tomorrow. She had become used to the feeling of Spike's arms around her, of his kisses, and of him just being around. It all seemed so normal now that Buffy barely remembers how it started. It just seemed to always be this way.
Buffy walked her old familiar patrol route halfheartedly. School had ended last week, and Riley had left that morning to spend the summer with his family in Iowa. All her friends had already left, and she had moved back into her mother's house, but even her mother was gone.
Now Buffy was all alone. Giles had gotten a grant to study ancient artifacts in Israel all summer. He had left weeks ago. Xander had also left a few weeks ago to work at a resort in Mexico all summer. Anya went with him. Willow left yesterday for England where she was taking summer classes at Cambridge. Buffy's mother had left a few days ago to spend all summer on an extensive art buying trip through Europe, and Asia. Everyone had exciting summer plans, except Buffy who was stuck in Sunnydale all alone.
Buffy had no idea what she was going to do all summer except patrol, and watch soap operas. She could have gone to LA to stay with her father, but it would have been too complicated. Angel was in LA, and that was one wound Buffy could not afford to reopen.
Angel and Riley had met a few weeks back when Angel returned to Sunnydale to help Buffy with Adam when Cordelia got a vision of Buffy in trouble. Angel had helped them defeat Adam, and Buffy was incredibly thankful that he was there, because he saved their lives, but the ruin he left in her life was monumental.
Riley found out about her relationship with Angel, and he didn't take the news too well. Angel was devastated that she was in love with another man. When Angel left again, things with Riley were shaky, but in the few weeks they had before he left they repaired most of the damage. The only thing that Riley insisted upon was that Buffy not see Angel while he was gone, and Buffy felt like she owed that to him, so staying in LA was out of the question.
Buffy felt that her relationship with Riley was worth the sacrifices. He was good for her. He was nice, handsome, refreshingly charming, smart, devoted, respectful, dedicated, loyal, and most importantly a normal boy. Their relationship was for the most part easy, and Buffy figured it would just get easier now that the Angel secret was out, and the Initiative was gone.
Buffy left the cemetery, and headed towards her house. There hadn't been a vampire, demon, or anything paranormal all night. Hell, she hadn't even come across a shifty looking person, or a suspicious acting cat. Buffy was bored already, and the summer had just begun.
"God, I wish something interesting would happen already," she muttered to no one as she approached her empty house.
"You should know better than to wish for things you would do better without, slayer." Spike sauntered out from the shadows with an amused smirk on his face. He blocked her path, and continued smugly, "They may just come true."
Buffy stopped abruptly, and groaned. "You're not interesting Spike, so just go away." Buffy tried to walk around him, but Spike quickly moved back into her path again.
"I told you when I got this chip out we'd have a confrontation. Well, the chip is out, and the funs just beginning."
Buffy stared at Spike in confusion. "I don't know what you are talking about Spike. That chip obviously warped your brain, but then again it was already warped to begin with."
Buffy started to push past Spike, but he grabbed her arm, and whipped her around to face him. Buffy struggled against his grasp, but Spike was able to hold her.
The destruction of the Initiative complex, and their computers, negated the chip in Spike's head. Apparently, the chips were controlled by a computer program, and the destruction of the network immobilized all the chips, so now Spike was able to do as he pleased, and fight whom he wanted.
"You didn't honestly think I would forget about your little act at the Bronze, did you?" he sneered.
Annoyed, and confused, Buffy looked up into Spike's eyes defiantly ready to do battle. "You're delusional, and I'm giving you three seconds to get lost before I stake you," Buffy threatened.
Spike twisted her arm roughly behind her, and held her against his body. Buffy struggled against him, but Spike didn't let go. "Now who's delusional, you little cock tease," he spit out with hatred.
Spike lowered his head, so his mouth was right by her ear. He lifted his free hand to caress her cheek. "And don't think I'm going to let you get away with it," he whispered seductively in her ear.
Buffy shivered as Spike's words caressed her ear. His body was pressed tightly against hers, and Buffy was only too aware of his arousal. "Spike," Buffy replied breathlessly, her voice betraying her desire.
Both of them were shocked by the way her voice sounded so full of need, and want. Buffy struggled to regain her senses, to shake off the overwhelming effect Spike was having on her, but before she could, Spike's lips descended onto hers. Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but her action only allowed Spike to invade her mouth with his tongue.
Spike released the arm he held captive behind her back, and used his free hand to cup her ass, pulling her even tighter against him. He slowly ground his arousal into her as his mouth continued to assault hers.
Finally, Buffy gave in, and returned the kiss. Any sense of right, wrong, or who they were left her mind as she gave herself up to the intense feelings boiling over inside of her. She had never felt this level of passion, and carnal lust for anyone before.
Buffy's arms left her sides, and entwined themselves into Spike's short hair massaging his scalp. Encouraged, Spike started to retreat backward leading the slayer with him. Buffy followed him in a euphoric daze. The possible ramifications of this encounter never entered her mind. All she thought about was how good it felt.
Still kissing her, Spike led her up the walkway of her house. Impatient with the cautious steps backwards, Spike lifted her off the ground, and Buffy's legs instantly wrapped around his waist. He carried her the remainder of the way to the front door his mouth never leaving hers. In his impatient haste, Spike kicked open the locked door.
Buffy gasped as the door broke open. Pulling away from his kiss, Buffy protested out of breathe, "You broke the door."
"Worry about it tomorrow," Spike answered before he seized her mouth again. Spike kicked the door closed, and carried her into the closest room, which happened to be the living room. Spike ran his hands down her sides, and pushed her legs away from him.
Buffy dropped her feet back onto the floor. The second she was standing on her own, they started ripping each other's clothing off in a frenzy. Shirts were torn away. Shoes were carelessly kicked off. Pants were discarded haphazardly, and underwear were ripped away frantically, until they were both naked.
Spike's fingers roamed roughly over Buffy's body before thrusting up inside of her. Spike could barely control himself he wanted her so bad. His mouth attacked her neck, sucking furiously on the soft skin bruising it. Buffy moaned as his fingers worked in, and out of her. She grabbed onto his shoulders digging her nails into his flesh as she nearly collapsed from the pleasure coursing through her body.
"Please, Spike," Buffy moaned as her body ached wanting to filled by him.
Spike stopped abruptly, and looked into her eyes. Her response to his actions was driving him insane with need, but he wanted to hear her beg first. It would be that much more enjoyable for Spike if she wanted him so bad she would beg. "Please what?" he asked.
Without thinking of anything, but satisfying the flame burning inside of her, Buffy begged, "Please, fuck me, now."
Spike smiled in triumphant before shoving her down onto her knees. Spike quickly dropped to his knees behind her. He rested his hand on her back, and pushed her down onto her hands, and knees. In one quick movement he thrusted up inside of her.
Buffy inhaled sharply as she felt Spike fill her. Spike grasped her hips as he began moving in, and out of her more quickly causing Buffy to moan at each thrust. As Spike continued to slam into her from behind, Buffy drifted off into oblivious pleasure.
Part 2
Buffy swung her legs over the side of the bed, and sat up. Her bare feet rested on the soft carpet as she glanced around her empty room. All of her stuff was downstairs in boxes waiting to be moved back to her dorm room. After this summer, Buffy wasn't sure she would ever be able to sleep in her own room again. Luckily, she was moving back to the dorms tomorrow, so she only had one night to spend alone in her room.
Buffy stood up, and glanced back at Spike who had fallen back asleep. Buffy stared at his sleeping face, and she felt tears well in her eyes for the first time.
The plan was to have things go back to normal, as if the summer never happened, but to Buffy Spike had become what was normal in her life. All summer it had been Spike, and Buffy. It had been the best summer of her life, and it was all ending today in less than an hour.
Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes, and walked to the bathroom. Once inside, she turned on the shower, and stepped under the warm water. The previous night's memories flooded her mind.
~~~
When the credits started rolling on the screen, Spike reached over, and grabbed the remote. He pushed stop, and turned the TV off. Silence permeated the room, and Spike tossed the remote back onto the table. They hadn't spoken since Buffy arrived, and now Spike struggled for something to say.
Buffy was still lying with her head on his chest with his arm around her shoulders. Her hand rested intimately on his thigh, and Spike placed his own hand over hers entwining his fingers through hers.
Buffy gave him a small smile before sitting up. Spike stretched his arms over his head, and asked, "Are you hungry, pet?"
Buffy shook her head no, and replied, "I ate before I came home."
Spike nodded his head, and stood up. He sauntered out of the room leaving Buffy alone. The knowledge that this was their last night together weighed heavily on both of them. Feeling like she had been left naked, Buffy waited only a beat before following Spike into the kitchen.
Buffy walked into the kitchen, and leaned against the door jamb. Spike stood in front of the microwave waiting for his blood to heat up. Spike knew she would follow him, but he didn't know what to say. He didn't want to tell her the truth. He didn't want to tell her that he loved her, and wanted to be with her, because what if she didn't feel the same.
The microwave beeped, and Spike removed his mug of blood. He sipped it slowly at first before gulping the whole mug down in a few quick gulps. Buffy watched him unfazed. It was a normal occurrence for Buffy to see Spike drink his blood, and Buffy was used to it.
When Spike finished, he carried the mug to the sink, and washed it out. He placed the mug in the sink before leaning his hands on the counter, and lowering his head.
When Spike didn't move, Buffy walked over to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist. She laid her head on his T-shirt clad back, and closed her eyes enjoying the feeling. Buffy didn't want to tell Spike she didn't want him to leave tomorrow, because what if he wanted to leave.
"Did you take all your blood to your new place?" Buffy asked quietly.
"Yeah, I don't want your mates to ask any questions," Spike answered.
Buffy nodded against his back the soft fabric of his T-shirt scratching her cheek. She placed a quick kiss on his back, and moved her hands to the waistband of his jeans. As her hands brushed over the front of his pants, Spike closed his eyes. Pleasure coursed through his body, and he became instantly aroused. No one before had ever been able to turn him on so fully at the slightest touch. He knew Buffy was special.
"Let's have fun tonight," Buffy murmured, "for our last night."
In an instant, Spike turned around, and captured her mouth in a searing kiss. He poured all his emotions into the kiss. All the pent up frustration, desire, hopelessness, confusion, passion, and love Spike had for Buffy came pouring out in their embrace.
Buffy clutched at Spike desperately afraid he was going to vanish. Within seconds, Spike had her on the island, in the middle of the kitchen, clawing at her clothing that was a barrier to what he wanted, what he needed.
Part 3
Buffy let the warm water fall over her head as she stood under the spry of the shower with her eyes closed. The water cascaded over her body, and drowned out any noise, so she didn't hear Spike step into the shower.
Spike silently wrapped his arms around Buffy, and held her wet body tightly against his. Buffy rested her head on his chest, and silently cried. Spike held her as her body gently shook from her quiet sobs. Knowing she was crying, Spike's own tears fell down his cheek.
They stood in the shower, in each other's arms, for a long time, just being with each other for the last time. Finally, goose bumps started to form on Buffy's body, and she shivered. Spike reached around her, and turned off the now ice cold water.
Spike stepped out of the shower, and offered his hand to Buffy. She took his hand, and Spike helped her out of the shower. Buffy stood in the bathroom naked, and shivering. Spike wrapped a towel around her shoulders, and moved it across her skin furiously trying to warm her up.
When she stopped shaking so violently, Spike took the towel, and gently dried her arms. He moved to her back making sure all the little droplets were gone. He turned her around, and ran the towel over her stomach, and chest. Buffy closed her eyes as she was overcome with love for the man who was so good to her, so good for her, but whom she couldn't have.
Spike kneeled in front of her, and playfully kissed her belly button sending Buffy into giggles. Spike continued to dry her off by running the towel down each of her legs slowly. He knew this was the last time he was going to be able to touch her. When he finished drying her feet, Spike stood up, and grabbed her robe off the hook on the door. He held it out, and Buffy stepped into it.
Wrapped snugly in the warmth of her robe, Buffy turned to Spike, and said, "I thought you were sleeping."
Spike placed a soft kiss on her lips before answering, "I may hate bloody goodbyes, but I wasn't going to sleep through our last minutes together."
Buffy was lying in Spike's arms. Her hand rested on his cold chest, and her fingers drew lazy patterns down to his abdomen. Spike had his arm around her body, and entwined in her hair. His other hand rested on his chest.
"It's late, luv. Get some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow," Spike softly urged.
"I don't want to sleep," Buffy answered propping her head on her hand, and looking down at Spike.
"Why not?" Spike asked taking her hand in his.
"I don't want to spend these last few hours sleeping. I want to be with you."
Spike used the hand still entwined in her hair to pull her down into a reassuring kiss. Buffy yawned during the kiss, and Spike pulled away.
"Sorry," Buffy giggled.
"Sleep," Spike ordered reluctantly. He didn't want her to sleep either, but knew she should. "I'll be here when you wake," he promised.
"No," Buffy pouted as another yawn escapes from her mouth.
Spike gently forced her head back onto his chest.
"I'm not going to sleep," Buffy argued.
"Fine, don't sleep, slayer. Just lay there."
"Okay," Buffy yawned, and she was asleep within a minute.
Spike gazed down at her sleeping face. She looked like a sleeping angel to him. He knew he had to let her go, but it was killing him inside.
Part 4
Dressed in a pair of cargo pants, and a light blue tank top, Buffy stood in her room watching Spike lace up his boots. When he finished, Spike stood up, and faced her. After a moment of silence, Spike rolled his eyes, and said, "Slayer, come here, give me a kiss, and be on your way."
Buffy nodded, and walked over to him. She stood on the tips of her toes to place a gentle kiss on Spike's lips. Spike grabbed her to him to possessively, and crushed his lips to hers.
Spike ended the kiss almost as quickly as it started, so as not to let things get out of hand as they always did. He rested his head on top of hers, and held her tightly to him. He inhaled the smell of her hair. She always smelled like vanilla, and it was a smell Spike would never forget.
Buffy pressed her head into his chest trying to get as close to him as possible. She could smell that distinct smell that was just Spike. He always smelled like a combination of leather, soap, tabacco, and her. It was a smell that comforted her, and she would never forget it.
Spike kissed the top of her head, and whispered, "Always remember what I said, slayer, that first night."
Buffy nodded into his chest, and before she could protest he was gone. Buffy let out a strangled sob, and called out his name. She wanted to tell him they were wrong. She wanted to tell him that things didn't have to end, so she could have a normal life. She wanted to tell him that he had become what was normal in her life. She wanted to tell him he was what she wanted, but he was gone.
Spike collapsed on top of Buffy forcing them both onto the ground. As Buffy came down from her intense high, reality started to sink in, and she panicked. Buffy struggled to get up, but Spike's weight, and strength held her down, pinned underneath him, with him still inside of her.
Spike lowered his head to her ear, and whispered, "Don't ever regret doing what you wanted to do."
"I didn't want to do this," Buffy argued while she squirmed to free herself.
"Don't say that. Don't lie. You wanted this. You wanted me, and I have more respect for you now than ever before."
Buffy started to cry. "Why? Cause I let you fuck me?"
Spike slammed her head into the carpet, and growled, "No, because for once you were honest. For once you let yourself be who you really are. Don't go back now, Buffy. There's nothing to be ashamed of about who you are. You're amazing when you don't lie to yourself."
"What?" Buffy asked in shock as his words sunk in.
Buffy couldn't believe he was actually giving her a backward compliment. Spike released her head, and stood up. Buffy sat up, and pulled her knees to her chin subconsciously trying to cover her nakedness.
"You're amazing when you're not that uptight prude who doesn't know how to have any fun, and who uses slaying as an excuse for not being able to have what you want. In reality, your problem is fear. Fear of who you are, and fear of what you want, but you know this. You said it yourself at the Bronze."
Buffy was ripped from her blissful amazement at Spike's words by his final comment. "I never said that," Buffy whispered in confusion.
Spike blew up at her denial. He threw his arms above his head, and shouted, "Dammit slayer, don't do this. That night, in February, when you were all dolled up, and horny. You pranced around like a bitch in heat, and came on to me only to leave me with a fucking hard on, and only my bloody hand to fix it."
"February," Buffy muttered as the realization of what Spike was talking about dawned on her.
"Yeah, I know you fucking remember. It was the first time in over a year I had seen you act on your impulses, on your desires, on your instincts. You acted with passion, and confidence."
"This is all about that night?" Buffy asked as anger started to boil inside of her.
Buffy was angry at Faith for everything she did in her body. Buffy was angry at Spike for liking Faith, and saying all those things about Faith, and not her. Mostly, Buffy was angry with herself for allowing herself to be in this position, for allowing Spike to get to her in this way. It was humiliating, and devastating because in the back of Buffy's mind, she knew she felt the connection she had always looked for. She felt the passion that had been missing in her life since she had released Angelus over two years ago.
Spike faced her, and replied, "Yeah, you were honest, and not being your usual whiny, and pathetic self. Sure you were being an incredible bitch, and I wanted to shag you like mad, and then rip your throat out, but you were also strong, and sure of yourself, and so bloody sexy. I always knew that if you just admitted to yourself who you are, you'd be like that again, like you were tonight, like you were before."
Buffy abruptly stood up, and hastily began getting dressed. "News flash Spike. That wasn't me. That was Faith in my body."
It was Spike's turn to be shocked. He put his hand on Buffy's shoulder, and forced her to look at him. "What?"
"Faith, evil slayer, switched our bodies to escape from the cops in February. It was obviously her at the Bronze who gave you the happy. It wasn't me, so this was all a horrible mistake," Buffy informed him in an almost mocking manner. "So you can leave now."
Spike turned away from her, but instead of leaving he spun back around to face her. "Tonight wasn't a mistake. What I saw tonight was the real you. You were like you were before, strong, sexy, confident, passionate, and fearless. That's who you are, slayer, and I liked it. It was like you were when I first saw you."
"What did you like? That I'm a whore?" Buffy shouted angrily in his face. Spike grabbed her by the shoulders, and shook her roughly.
"No, you idiot. You were a woman who wasn't afraid to lose herself in her desires. Someone who doesn't lie to herself, and deny herself what she wants. And you had this fire in your eyes when I kissed you. A fire I had only seen when you fought, like that was the only time you were alive, but I saw it in your eyes tonight, and you weren't fighting me. You were alive. You've been a walking corpse for two years slayer more than even me. You breathe, but you don't live. Tonight you were living."
"Ego much," Buffy asked in annoyance at his arrogance for what he was implying.
The truth was he was right. Buffy went through her life in a content daze. The only time she felt like she was alive was when she fought. It was like an electrical current coursed through her body during the fight, and she knew she felt that same electrical current when she kissed Spike. She had never felt it with Riley. She hadn't felt it since the first, and only time with Angel.
Spike rolled his eyes. He could see that this was going nowhere. Buffy had obviously decided to retreat back to annoying, and pathetic Buffy. Spike turned towards the door again, but stopped. He didn't turn around, but asked her, "What do you want?"
"I don't want you that's for sure," Buffy yelled at him trying to convince herself more than him.
Within seconds, Spike had grabbed her by the back of her head, and smashed his lips to hers. He savagely kissed her, and Buffy didn't even protest as every cell in her body felt like it was on fire, and exploding. Spike pulled away from the kiss, and stared at her. His eyes reflected sheer anger as they bored into Buffy's making her actually afraid of him.
"Don't lie to me," Spike growled.
"What do you want from me?" Buffy asked begging to be released from his intense stare, to be released from what he was making her feel.
"I just want you to do what you want to do. I want you to be honest with yourself. I want to see the girl I hated so much two years ago, but admired even more."
"You admired me?" Buffy asked in shock.
"It wasn't like you were my bloody hero or anything, but yeah I thought you were one hell of a gutsy, tough broad, and beautiful to boot. You fought with your heart, and lived by your impulses. You and me are a lot alike, slayer. Well, we were back then, but I hardly recognize you anymore. Earlier I saw it, now I don't. It's a bloody shame too." Buffy didn't respond. His words turned over in her mind as she tried to digest it all. Not surprised by her silence Spike continued, "What do you want, Buffy? Don't think about it. Just take it."
Buffy didn't hesitate in pulling Spike into a desperate kiss. Buffy unleashed all her pent up rage, pain, desire, fear, and lust in this kiss, and she nearly knocked Spike over with the intensity of it.
Spike had her few clothes discarded within seconds. Buffy shoved Spike onto the ground. He fell onto his back on the soft carpet with a thud. Buffy sank down on top of him straddling his waist. Spike tried to maneuver himself inside of her, needing desperately to feel himself surrounded by her, but Buffy wasn't allowing him to. Finally overcome with frustration, and need, Spike moaned, "Please."
"Please what?" Buffy teased. Spike smiled at her game. This was the slayer he wanted. Buffy repeated herself in a more demanding tone. "Please what?"
"Please fuck me," Spike begged.
Buffy smiled in satisfaction, and slowly lowered herself on to him. A low rumbling growl escaped from Spike's throat as he felt Buffy slide down onto him. They both knew it was going to be one hell of a summer.
