Part Six, "I Do"

Author: Karri, aka Bradley

Rating: PG, and DJ...would I write anything else??

Feedback welcomed!

Wedding Day

"Jen, what the hell am I doing here again?" Dawson adjusted his tie for the thousandth time, and shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. He tried to decide for what sin he was paying penance, as watching Joey get married to another man was about the worst punishment he could ever imagine. He took a gulp of champagne and forced a smile. He meant what he said to Joey. He wanted her to be happy. That meant he had to be happy himself. Or at least have the appearance.

Jen walked around the corner with a scowl on her face, her red bridesmaid's dress hanging in her hand. "We're here because we love Joey, we want her to be happy and we agreed to play bridesmaid. At least I did. Thank god she has good taste in clothes." Dawson replied dryly, "C'mon, Jen, I thought red was your signature color." She glared at him. "You, Dawson Leery, are bad."

Jen had been a constant friend in Dawson's life for so many years, and he appreciated that. She also understood better than almost anyone how hard today was for him. He sat by the window, looking out at the guests gathering on the lawn. Doug had seemed like a nice enough guy, and it was obvious Joey cared for him. Dawson only wished that it could have been him standing up there with her today, and, based on Joey's response to his kiss last night, he had to believe there was a part of her that wanted that, too.

A dark car with tinted windows pulled up at the curb, and Dawson's stomach tightened. It was Joey. She stepped out into the sunlight, and Dawson forgot to breathe. She was beautiful. Her hair hung loosely down her back, her short veil blew around her face in the afternoon breeze, her straight wedding gown clung loosely to her. Seeing Joey in her wedding gown, on a day that he had always thought, somewhere deep down, would be for them together, was agonizing. Where was the girl from across the creek, whom he had grown up with? Who was this woman?

Jen walked out of the dressing room. "You know, Dawson, I have to admit that I do look good in red..." Her voice trailed off as she saw him sitting near the window, his face resting in his hands, quiet tears streaming down his face. "Oh, Dawson," she sighed, taking him into her arms. "Don't do this to yourself. You can't." He wiped away his tears angrily. "You know, Jen, I have always loved Joey. Even after everything. It was so hard to get over the events of that summer, and to learn to like her again. I was so hurt. And angry. But even then, I never stopped loving her. I like to think of myself as the type of person who loves her so much that I can let her go. But I can't. I'm mad at myself for still loving her, even after all this time."

She held him for a few more moments in silence, until he pulled back from her with a determined smile. "Thank you, Jen. For being my friend and for understanding this. I appreciate you." She gave him a light punch on the arm. "As well you should, Dawson Leery. But let me just say this. You love Joey. She loves you. A given. But is that an adult love, a real love on which you want to base a marriage, a lifetime together? You have to tell Joey what is in your heart. She's..." Jen thought for a moment, searching for a word to describe the relationship between the two. She couldn't find one. "She's Joey, Dawson. You have to be honest."

They looked up as the door opened, and Joey walked in, with Andie carrying her the train on her gown and Pacey looking awkward at best carrying Joey's bouquet of roses. Joey saw Dawson immediately. She walked over to him uncertainly, not knowing if he was feeling the same thing that she was. That this was a mistake. That, as much as she cared for Doug, she didn't love him enough to marry him. That Dawson would always be the only one she would ever really belong to.

"Hey, you," she said, reaching out to grab his hand. They stood there together, content to be with each other, watching Bessie rush around adjusting Jen's bridesmaid dress and straightening Pacey's tie. Joey looked at Dawson and reached out to touch his cheek. "Explain to me, after everything that we have gone through, all the hurt, the time apart, how I could stand here with you without saying a word, and feel like I am right at home." Because you are, Dawson thought. But this was Joey's decision to make.

Bessie walked in, followed quickly by Doug. As the music from the piano wafted through the room, Doug shook hands with Dawson and leaned over to give Joey a kiss on the cheek. "I know I said this outside, I know I said this in the foyer, I know I have said this every day since I first met you. But, you look so beautiful, Joey." She blushed and looked away uncertainly. She never let go of Dawson's hand.

As Doug gave her one more kiss and left to enter the church, she and Dawson watched Pacey and Andie make their way down the aisle, then Jack and Jen. Joey felt a strange mixture of panic and calm, of fear and peace, and didn't know what emotion to trust. Alone in the foyer, she took Dawson's other hand. They leaned into each other, Joey resting her forehead on his shoulder. "What should I do here, Dawson?" They each knew the options: to stay or to go, to find each other again or live with only their memories, to finally live with the love they had always felt or make it all in the past. He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. "Make yourself happy, and do whatever is in your heart. You've always deserved that."