Disclaimer: As you probably already know I do not own these characters. Please don’t sue.

Rating: NC-17

Author’s note: This section is being narrated by Pacey.

Feedback: I’d really, really, really love some! :) Good or bad, send it to allegras_world@yahoo.com

--Pacey--

She kissed me. We’re pretending it didn’t happen or maybe were just pretending that it meant nothing, but it definitely did happen and it did mean something...at least to me. I don’t know why she did it...one minute we were on the couch talking and the next minute she was kissing me. It was totally unexpected, completely out of the blue and I can’t stop wondering what would’ve happened had her sister not chosen that very moment to call, interrupting us. Would we have continued kissing? Would she have eventually come to her senses and pulled away in horror? Who knows where it would have lead...maybe that’s what’s driving me so crazy.

Right now it’s after 2:00 am and I’m not even close to falling asleep. It isn’t like me to lose sleep over a women or to obsess over a kiss but somehow when it has to do with Joey, everything is different. I keep telling myself that it was just a fluke occurrence and I need to erase it from my mind. I just wish I knew how to do that.

Flipping on my lamp I scan my room for something to distract me...to get my mind off Joey. I pick up the copy of Macbeth that I got from Karen, the drama teacher at the high school where I work. This summer our high school’s offering drama as an elective course in the summer school program. Karen’s going to have the class put on a production of Macbeth and she’s trying to recruit me to help her with it. I’m actually thinking about doing it, despite my lack of experience in this field. I could use the money and if I don’t find something to occupy my time this summer I’m just going to sit around thinking about Joey. The only problem is that I hated Shakespeare when I was in high school and now, after reading the first few pages of this, I have a feeling I still do...

~~~*~*~*~~~

It’s not even officially summer yet and already it’s hot. The entire house is filled with the whirring sound of oscillating fans...our answer to air-conditioning problem. They don’t really do much except push hot air around the room but they’re all we have. Joey and I are sitting on the couch, listlessly watching the evening news. She’s scantily clad in a pair of cut off jeans and a strappy tank top, making it difficult for me to concentrate on the news. Dawson’s puttering around the house, getting ready for his date with Elysse. He’s in one of his irritatingly good moods that we’re doing our best to ignore.

“So what’re you guys up to tonight?” he asks, grabbing his car keys from the coffee table.

“Nothing,” we answer in unison, our eyes never straying from the TV.

He pauses, looking at us, his two completely pathetic best friends, and shakes his head. He comes over and sits down on the coffee table so that he’s facing me and Joey.

“It’s Saturday night, what’s wrong with you two?”

“I’m no longer dating...remember?” I say, craning my neck to see around him.

“And Connor’s out of town for the weekend...surfing competition,” Joey adds flatly.

“You guys should go out together then. It’s too hot to stay in this stuffy house all night.”

Joey frowns at him. “Dawson, you’re blocking the TV.”

“Why don’t you two go out to dinner or something,” he continues, ignoring her. “You don’t have to stay locked in the house just because you don’t have dates.”

“We’ll give it some thought Dawson,” I reply dismissively.

He sighs, “I don’t know why I bother trying to help you two...it’s completely useless. I’m beginning to think you both enjoy being miserable.”

“We do,” Joey replies.

“I’m serious. I think--”

“Dawson...”

“Okay, whatever...I’m leaving. Elysse and I are going to some new play she has tickets for and I’ll probably stay over with her tonight, so don’t wait up...”

“Don’t worry,” I mutter under my breath as Dawson closes the door behind him.

“God he’s so happy now that Elysse’s back, it makes me want to puke...” Joey grumbles.

“I thought you liked Elysse?”

“I do, it’s not that. I just dislike openly happy people,” she explains as if it’s the most logical thing in the world.

“You know you get really pissy when the temperature hits anything over 90 degrees.”

“Shut up,” Joey scowls.

We sit silently watching the weekly weather report. More high temperatures are expected, much to our disappointment. Joey looks at me hopelessly, pressing a glass of ice water to her forehead.

“At least you have the pool out back,” I grin jokingly as she hits me in the arm.

The news moves from the weather to the sports report and I can see her interest waning. Her eyes drift aimlessly around the living room as she sips her water. I realize this is the first time since our kiss last weekend that we’ve really been alone together. I wonder if she’s uncomfortable because of this. She glances down at her watch and jiggles her foot impatiently...or maybe just out of boredom. I’m just about to excuse myself when she finally speaks.

“Look, it’s only 5:30...maybe Dawson was right. I can be ready in half an hour. Let’s go out...somewhere with air-conditioning and lots of cold drinks, what do you say?”

This is the last thing I expect to hear her say and so I immeditely assume I’ve misunderstood.

“Come on, we’ll have fun,“ she insists, taking my silence to mean I’m hesitant about going.

“Well,” I sigh, playing along, “I guess it’s better than hanging out here eating microwave pizza and watching some lame TV movie...”

“Yeah, that’s just the enthusiasm I was looking for,” Joey smirks.

“I’ll go, just don’t let me make any dates while we’re out...” I tell her just to see what she’ll say.

She rolls her eyes in disgust, “If you even try to hit on a women while you’re with me you won’t have to worry about getting around to making a date...you’ll already be dead.”

I watch her stalk off to her bedroom, shaking her head and I can’t help but smile.

~~~*~*~*~~~

I take Joey to a little Mexican restaurant that I love. We drink too many margaritas, bitch about life and have an all-round enjoyable time. Then, since it is still too early to head over to any of the night clubs, we go across the street to the Santa Monica Pier. We stop and buy a couple of vanilla ice cream cones from a vendor along the way.

It’s still quite warm out but there’s a breeze that’s helping make things much more bearable. We walk along in a comfortable silence. I try not to stare but she’s so beautiful with her hair pulled up, showing of her slender neck, and that blue halter dress that leaves me feeling a little weak in the knees. I’m completely entranced, but luckily she doesn’t seem to notice I’m watching her. She’s too busy looking up at the sky. It is a particularly nice night. It’s perfectly clear out and the stars look even brighter than usual against the darkening, cloudless backdrop of the sky.

“Such a beautiful night,” Joey sighs, licking her vanilla cone.

“I know it’s a perfect night for star gazing...the sky’s so clear.”

“That’s one thing I miss about Capeside,” Joey confesses, “the sky. It was always clear...no smog...no pollution...”

“I know, it’s one of those things that you don’t fully appreciate until it’s gone.”

“Exactly. That how I feel about Capeside in general. I thought I hated it while I was growing up. All I wanted was to get the hell out of there but then after we left for college all I could remember was how beautiful it was and all the good times we had. It’s like sometimes you’re just too close to something to really see it for what it is, and it isn’t until you step back that it becomes clear,” Joey says and then falls silent. She looks over at me smiling, embarrassed, almost as if she’s said too much.

“You’re so deep,” I tease her, trying lighten the moment.

“And you’re such an asshole!” she says, trying not to smile.

“Oh, you know you love me.” I bump her shoulder with mine.

“Hey!” she cries as a thin stream of ice cream slips down her cone and runs along her wrist. She laughs and lifts her wrist to lick it off. It’s a simple, innocent gesture but I can not tell you how unbelievably sexy I find it. I have to look away.

“We’d better get going,” I say, clearing my throat. I wonder if it’s really such a good idea to be out with her tonight.

~~~*~*~*~~~

When we arrive at The Whiskey, a club on Sunset that’s known for its live music, it’s already packed. We get right in though since I know the doorman from college. The band--some group neither of us have ever heard of--is suitably loud and wild. We end up staying longer than we had planned. We have a great time; dancing and drinking too much--especially considering all the margaritas we’ve already had with dinner. When we leave, sometime after midnight, we’re both more than a bit drunk so we take a taxi home, leaving my car downtown for us to pick up tomorrow when we’re sober.

“That was awesome!” Joey cries leaning into me as we ride home in the back of the taxi. We’re still buzzing from the music and the alcohol.

“I know. Dawson was right about getting out. I haven’t had this good of a time since...I don’t know when...”

“You were a perfect gentleman. You didn’t flirt with any of the girls who were eyeing you,” Joey grins “and there were a lot.”

“Hey, I saw plenty of guys with their eyes on you,” I point out and I’m not lying. Joey laughs and nudges me hard in the side.

“What was that for?” I ask, rubbing my side.

She lets out another peal of laughter. “I have no idea.”

“You are so wasted,” I say, joining in her laughter.

“So are you!” she cries, reaching out and pinching my cheek, “I can tell because your cheeks are all rosy.”

“That’s probably because you’re pinching them.”

“You’re so cute Pacey,” Joey sighs laying her head on my shoulder.

“So are you Jo Jo.” I pick up her hand and kiss her wrist. “You know earlier you really turned me on when you licked that ice cream off your wrist.”

“Really?” she asks, pulling away and looking at me with interest.

“Yeah,” I nod.

Joey smiles, deliberately lifting her arm and running her tongue delicately along her wrist. I open my mouth to speak but the taxi pulls up to the house just then. I shut my mouth, feeling a little dazed and pay the driver. I help Joey out of the taxi and together we make our way up the walk, leaning into each other for support. I fumble with the keys and somehow manage to unlock the door. Dawson’s not home and the house is silent and dark. I reach for the light switch but Joey grabs my hand and pulls me to her.

“Do I get a goodnight kiss?” she asks, reaching out and running her hand down my chest.

“Is this going to be another kiss that we pretend never happened?” I ask, moving closer to her and clasping her hand in mine.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” she smiles with a playful glint in her eyes.

I grab her by the waist, pulling her firmly against me. Who am I kidding, I want to kiss her no matter what her intentions are. Our mouths met and our kiss is passionate and intense. She tastes like strawberry margaritas...she tastes like heaven. I slowly back her up against the wall and let my hands wander up from her waist to cup her breasts through the thin fabric of her dress. I can’t believe this is happening...I have to be dreaming.

“Pacey...” she murmurs, running her hands through my hair.

“We should probably stop this...” I say between kisses, without really having any intentions of doing so.

“Yeah...” Joey agrees, letting her voice trail off as my kisses move from her mouth, down to her neck. She groans, digging her fingers into my arm.

“Do you like that?” I whisper in her ear.

She nods her head, leaning into me. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to stay standing much longer.”

There should be major warning bells going off right now but the alcohol is dulling our good judgment. Joey pulls me towards her bedroom and I follow. We stumble the whole way because we’re unwilling to break from our kissing. The room’s dark, except for a thin stream of moonlight coming in through her curtains. She pushes me back onto her bed. Before I know what’s hit me, she’s straddling my legs and kissing down my chest as she unbuttons my shirt.

“God, Jo,” I groan, reaching out to free her hair from the clip. It cascades down around her face and I reach out, touching it...tangling my fingers in it. I’ve wanted to do this for so long. She looks up momentarily and smiles. I love that smile, crooked and sexy, completely unique to her.

“Lift up,” she instructs me.

I do as she says and she quickly tugs my now unbuttoned shirt off, flinging it across the room. I always imagined that she’d be somewhat reserved in the bedroom but clearly I was wrong. Smiling, I slide my hands up her back and wonder if there are other things about her that would surprise me.

I’m completely lost in the moment, floating in and out of some sort of sexual haze, when my eyes happen to fall on a framed picture on Joey’s night stand. It’s an old picture of her and Connor sitting on the beach together. I’ve seen it hundreds of times before but now it serves as a kind of jolt of reality. I realize, with a kind of clarity I didn’t have before, what we’re about to do.

“Joey, wait!” The words escape my lips before I can stop them.

She looks at me confused and startled, her hand’s still grasping the snap on my pants. It’s too late to take the words back. I’ve broken the spell and, although it’s probably for the best, I feel like shit.

“Pacey?”

“What’re we doing?” I ask gently. “We’re both drunk...it shouldn’t be like this. What about Connor?”

She looks like she might start crying, which is exactly how I’m feeling. She slowly moves off me and lies down beside me. I need to say something to make it all right but I don’t know what to say. I’m feeling so many different things right now that my mind’s having trouble focusing.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly.

“Don’t be sorry...please...” She nods her head silently, starring up at the ceiling.

I need to remove myself from this situation. I can feel the heat of her body next to mine and I want her so badly. I want us to be sober...I want Connor out of the picture...I want to touch and taste every inch of her body. I’ve got to get up before I disintegrate or implode or whatever happens when the ache I feel inside hits its breaking point. I move to sit up and her hand reaches out, touching my arm.

“Don’t go yet.”

I find that I can’t say no. I lay back down.

“I just...I don’t want you to go yet...” she repeats.

We lay together quietly for a few minutes. I wait for her to say more, but she doesn’t. I wonder if I’ve just saved my friendship with Joey or made the worst decision of my life? It doesn’t matter...either way I feel like crap.

“Are you okay Jo?” I finally ask.

When she doesn’t answer, I glance over and realize she’s fallen asleep. I tell myself that I’ll go back to my room now but I can’t seem to take my eyes off of her. I lay there trying to gather the strength to get up but the soft sound of her breathing and the gentle rise and fall of her chest is lulling. Finally my eyes drift shut and sleep overcomes me too.

~~~*~*~*~~~

To be continued...