by Allegra

Disclaimer: As you probably already know I do not own these characters. Please don’t sue.

Rating: NC-17

Author’s note: This section is being narrated by Joey.

Feedback: I’d love some! :) Good or bad, send it to allegras_world@yahoo.com

--Joey--

We awake seemingly at the same moment, tangled in each others arms. He looks at me blinking, trying to make out if I’m real or just a figment of his imagination. I know this because I’m having the same thought about him. I’m convinced what I’m seeing is just the lingering aftermath of another one of my dreams until he reaches out, brushing a strand of hair from my face and then I know. This is real, he is real...there’s no mistaking his touch.

“What time is it?” His voice seems to vibrate through the room.

We untangle ourselves and sit up. I pick up my bedside clock, rubbing my eyes until it’s readable.

“9:15.”

“What’re we doing up so early?” he yawns.

I shrug, combing my fingers through my disheveled hair as a flashback of last night hits me. I bite back an embarrassed smile and quickly shake the vision from my head.

“So...um, how are you feeling?” he asks.

My pulse quickens. What does this question mean? Is he asking me how I feel about what happened last night or this just a general inquiry?

“I’m a little hung over...” I say hesitantly, watching his reaction.

He nods his head thoughtfully.

“What about you?”

He seems surprised that I would ask.

“Pretty good...a little headache but nothing a few aspirins won’t cure.”

“So...” my voice trails off as I try to think of something to say, “do you want to use the shower first?”

“No, you go first,” he tells me, getting out of bed and picking up his shirt from the floor. It’s the single piece of clothing discarded last night. “I’m going to make us some coffee.”

“Okay, that sounds good.”

He starts out the door but then stops suddenly and turns back. “Are you sure you...”

“What?” I ask as his voice fades off.

He shakes his head. “Nah...never mind.”

“Pace?”

“Really it’s nothing.” He ducks out of the room before I can say anything else.

I lay back in bed listening to the sound of him in the kitchen, whistling lightly as he makes coffee. I smile, wondering why I’ve never noticed how comforting this sound is before.

~~~*~*~*~~~

After we have our morning coffee, we head to the grocery store. This is a weekly chore that we usually do with Dawson but he’s still at Elysse’s, so it’s just the two of us. I’m a total space case the whole time. I’m so busy remembering the feel of Pacey’s hands on my body, that I accidentally run my cart into an end display causing dozens of soup cans to come crashing to the ground. As if that isn’t embarrassing enough, I also catch myself randomly plucking items we don’t need off the shelf in some sort of mindless daze as I meander through the store. I feel relieved when we finally make it out of there and I’m still in one piece.

We’re trying to pretend everything is okay but really there’s this new underlying tension between us. We’ve left something unfinished and seems to be hanging in the air, haunting us. I should probably be happy, or at least thankful, that he stopped us last night but I’m not. Instead I feel incredibly let down and I find myself wondering if things between us will ever feel normal again.

“When did we start buying grapefruit juice?” Pacey asks, pulling a carton from one of the bags as we unpack our groceries back at the house.

“Oh...um, I thought it might be a nice change...” I lie, having absolutely no memory of putting it into the cart.

He gives me a skeptical look, which I ignore as I continue to shelve canned goods in the pantry. I make a quick mental note to learn to like grapefruit juice.

“Jo?” he asks, a few moments later.

“Yeah?” I turn, finding him holding up two plastic bags filled with pears.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem a little...distracted.”

Frowning, I grab one of the bags from Pacey. “I’m not distracted, I just like pears. Last time I checked that wasn’t a crime.” I make a big show of pulling out a pear and biting into it.

He’s eyes become serious and he speaks gently. “Maybe we should talk about last night...”

It feels like all the oxygen has suddenly been sucked from the room.

“Okay...” I say, barely managing to swallow the bite of pear I have in my mouth without choking.

He looks around the kitchen and then at me. “It’s a little awkward...isn’t it?”

“Maybe a little but I don’t want it to be.”

“Me either,” he says, “and that’s why I think we should just erase last night from our memory. We drank too much, got a little carried away but stopped before anything could happen and that’s what’s important.”

I don’t know what I expected him to say, but this wasn’t it. For reasons I can’t explain I find myself feeling incredibly pissed off.

“Actually, you were the one who stopped us, I was doing just fine,” I tell him brazenly. He looks at me, surprised. I can tell he’s not sure what to do with this information. “Well, it’s true,” I continue. “You didn’t need to save me or anything. I’m a big girl and I knew what I was doing.”

“Joey...”

“Come on, it’s obvious that there’s this sexual tension that’s been building between us. Maybe we would’ve gotten it out of our system last night if you hadn’t stopped us...maybe it would have eased some of that tension.”

“Interesting theory...” he says dryly. “What about your boyfriend?”

“He’s out of town all the time, who knows who he’s fucking...” I really don’t know why I say this. I’ve never suspected that Connor was sleeping around on me, yet the words slide easily out of my mouth with conviction.

“You think?”

“Who knows?” I snap, an abrupt feeling of annoyance spreading through me. Right now Connor is the last thing I want to think about.

“Don’t get mad at me.”

“I’m not mad. I just don’t want you to think I’m helpless...that I needed you to stop me last night. If I had wanted to stop, I would have.”

“I didn’t mean to imply that,” he says softly. “Helpless is not a word I would ever use to describe you.”

“I’m sorry Pace, I know I’m being bitchy,” I sigh tiredly. “Things have been a little weird lately and I guess it’s just getting to me.”

He gives me a curious look, “What do you mean weird?”

“Pacey,” I laugh, “I kissed you the other day for no apparent reason! And don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you watch me when you think I’m not looking. Then, of course, there was last night. You don’t think any of this is out of the ordinary?”

“Why do you think this is happening?” he asks. “You have to have some idea... Why did you kiss me that day?”

“I don’t know...I think I wanted to know what it would feel like.” He watches me intently as I speak. There’s something in his eyes that makes me want to say more, to tell him everything. “I’ve been having these...these dreams, for the past month or so...”

“What kind of dreams?” he asks quietly.

“Dreams about you and me...together.” I push my hair back behind my ear and bite at my lip nervously. “I guess it just got me wondering what it would be like in real life...”

Without warning, he leans forward placing a gentle kiss on my lips. My mind races, thinking about the implications of going any farther but when he pulls back and our eyes meet, everything just seems to fall away.

I reach out, grabbing a handful of his shirt and I pull him to me. “Just this one time,” I whisper.

He nods his head and we kiss again, this time with such an intensity that I know my lips will feel bruised later. I let go of the pear that’s still in my hand and it drops to the floor with a thud, rolling towards the refrigerator.

Trembling, I try to work the buttons of his shirt but my coordination is failing me. Pacey has the right idea though. He has bypassed buttons and opted for going under my blouse instead. His big, warm hands cover my breasts, rubbing and kneading them as I fight to keep standing. He slowly moves us back until I’m pinned between him and the kitchen table. I lean into the it, thankful for support as he starts to kiss and nip at my neck.

I let out a strangled moan and work a hand between us. Unfastening his pants, I slide my hand in and rub across the very prominent bulge inside.

“Joey,” he groans into my mouth.

I smile, continuing to tease him until his hands leave my breasts, moving down to the hem of my short skirt. He looks me squarely in the eyes, silently asking permission to take the next step. I nod my head, covering his hands with mine and guiding them as he pulls my skirt up around my waist.

“Oh, God,” I gasp as he runs his hand across the thin fabric of my panties.

He gives me an amused grin, lifting me onto the table. I’m so impatient to feel his touch everywhere. “Take them off me,” I beg, laying back onto the table and stretching my arms out over my head.

“Jesus Jo, you’re going to kill me...” he murmurs, sliding my panties off in one swift move. He slips a finger into me and I arch up against his hand. His eyes are fixed on mine as he quickly adds another. I bite my lip hard to keep from crying out as his thumb teases my clit, driving me right to the edge and then pulling me back again. It’s absolute torture.

“Pacey, please...” I beg.

“Not here,” he whispers, pulling me up into his arms.

I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling myself tightly against him as he carries me to his bedroom. I have a flash of deja vu as we fall into the bed and I hope that this time things will end better for us.

I help him out of his pants and he pushes his boxers down. I’m aching to feel him inside me and I waste no time letting him know this. I give his hard cock a firm stroke and guide him into me. We find our rhythm instantly and I feel myself losing all control.

“Pacey...God...don’t stop...” I tell him, digging my nails into his back. “I’m so close...”

His eyes lock with mine as he brings me to my climax. He lets out a powerful groan as my muscles clinch wildly around his cock. Burying my face into his neck, I feel him explode into me.

We collapse into each other and a sudden stillness overtakes the room. The only sound that can be heard is our labored breathing and even that is slowly fading. I’m acutely aware of his body against mine and the feel of his breath on my neck. The reality of the situation sinks in and it makes me feel dizzy and overwhelmed. I don’t want it to be over.

He slowly pulls back, gently easing out of me and falls back beside me. It’s a bizarre moment and neither of us know what to say.

“Joey--” He stops abruptly as we hear the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. “Shit, that must be Dawson.”

We sit up quickly, fumbling as we work to get our clothing back on and buttoned up before Dawson can get into the house.

“Joey, you left your car door opened!” Dawson’s voice booms out, closing the front door behind him.

“Oh God,“ I whisper, horrified “I think I left my panties in the kitchen.”

“Jo, where are you?” he calls out again.

“Stay here, I’ll take care of this,” Pacey whispers, surprising us both by giving me a quick kiss on the lips before slipping out of the room.

“It’s my fault,” I hear him explain to Dawson. “I took Joey’s car grocery shopping this morning and I must have left the door open when I was unloading the bags.

“Oh, well I closed it for you. What happened to your car?”

“We took your advice and went out last night,” Pacey explains as I quietly slip unnoticed from his room and dash into the bathroom. “We both drank too much and took a taxi home. My car’s still downtown.”

“So where’s Jo?”

“Uh...I think she’s--”

“I’m right here,” I interrupt, exiting the bathroom with my robe tied around me, covering my sloppily buttoned blouse and wrinkled skirt.

“Oh, hey Jo,” Dawson smiles. “I’m glad you’re up. I want to talk to both of you about something.”

Pacey and I exchange glances.

“What’s up?”

He starts to speak as he heads into the kitchen but then stops, turning back to us, “What happened in here?”

My heart is pounding so hard in my chest that I wonder if I could be having heart attack.

“What do you mean?” Pacey asks.

“Why is this stuff all over the place?” Dawson asks, motioning towards the floor.

We look in and to our relief, find that one of the grocery bags has fallen from the table, spilling forth a box of cereal, several individual yogurt containers, a bag of potato chips, a package of donuts and a plastic container of apple juice that has come uncapped and made a mess of the floor.

“Looks like one of the bags fell,” I say as I walk over and begin to pick up the stray groceries. “Feel free to help me out,” I add and they quickly join in.

As we clean up the mess, I find my partially eaten pear next to the fridge and Pacey manages to rescue my panties from under the table before Dawson can spot them. He calmly slips them into the pocket of my robe when he gets the chance.

“Thank you,” I mouth silently.

He smiles and gives me a little nod.

~~~*~*~*~~~

“Last night I made a life changing decision,” Dawson begins after we’ve put away all the groceries and he’s seated us on the couch.

He looks back and forth between Pacey and I to make sure he has our full attention. His eyes are twinkling and he has a smile stretched from ear to ear.

“And that decision was...?” Pacey asks, motioning for him to continue.

“I’m going to ask Elysse to marry me.”

He looks so ridiculously happy, like he’s about to jump right out of his skin, that I’m able to get past my initial response of Oh fuck and actually put on a happy face and congratulate him.

“I just wanted you two to be the first to know,” Dawson beams, hugging me, “and I was hoping that you’d come help me pick out a ring for her, Jo.”

“What, you don’t want my help too?” Pacey jokes.

“I prefer someone with good taste.”

“Your loss,” he smiles good-naturedly

“So, you gonna help me Jo?”

“Of course,” I smile.

“There’s so much I need to do,” Dawson goes on, already a million miles away. “I have to make plans...I’m thinking about asking her next weekend. Does that seem too quick? I thought we could spend the weekend in San Diego...at that little place I took her last Valentine’s Day. I’ll have to see if I can get reservations.”

He goes on discussing possible plans for his proposal but I can already feel myself fading. I honestly do like Elysse and I know I should be happy that he’s going to ask her to marry him but part of me is selfish. I don’t want to lose my best friend and I can’t stop thinking about what will happen to the house when he eventually moves out and we can no longer afford the rent. The thought of being separated from Dawson and Pacey is unthinkable to me.

When I finally get the chance, I escape back to my room and crawl into bed. A lot has happened in the last 24 hours and my thoughts and feelings are suddenly all jumbled up and chaotic. I can still taste Pacey on my lips and feel the lingering sensation of his hands on me. I don’t regret what happened, at least not the way I should, instead I regret that I can’t take Pacey to bed with me, hold him tight, and tell him everything that’s on my mind. What I regret is being here alone without him...

To be continued...