Beyond The Pale

Joey Potter took a deep breath of the early spring air as she hurried from school to the Icehouse. It was hard to believe that it was already March and that junior year was almost over.

Joey had spring fever. What else could it be that made her so restless, so edgy? She couldn’t be still for longer than five minutes at a time, and all she wanted was to be outside, to walk, to run, to throw off the bleakness of winter.

Joey burst through the front door of the Icehouse. She tossed a quick wave to Dawson Leery, who was sitting on the far side of the room with Pacey Witter, and went into the back room to leave her pack and to pick up her apron. She had about half an hour before she had to start her shift, but it wasn’t like she had anything else to do. Boring, Joey thought. My life is beyond boring.

Joey strolled over to greet Dawson and Pacey. "Hey," she said to them. "Another day in paradise."

"Hi, Jo," Dawson said. Pacey didn’t speak. He stirred his Coke glumly with his straw.

"So," Joey said to Pacey, "where’s the Ice Queen?" She smiled evilly; there just wasn’t any better sport than ragging Pacey about his girlfriend. Pacey had been dating Tatiana Nicolnikov, Capeside High’s Russian exchange student, for six months.

"Who knows?" Pacey said curtly.

There was a pained look on Dawson’s face; he shook his head slightly. Joey just winked at him and said to Pacey, "I thought you two were joined at the tongue. What gives?"

"Go to hell," Pacey snapped, shoving his chair back and getting up. He stalked outside.

Wide-eyed, Joey turned to Dawson. This went way beyond their usual insult wars. Pacey was genuinely angry. "What’s wrong with him?"

"You never pay any attention to me," Dawson complained. "I was trying to signal you to shut up!" He sighed. "Tatiana dumped him cold this afternoon. In the hall at school."

"You’re kidding!" Joey felt terrible. "And there I went, putting my whole leg in my mouth as usual."

"Looks like she’s been sneaking around with a senior guy for a while now," Dawson said. "After she left Pacey in the dust, she went out and got in his car. And you’ll love this - guess who it is?"

"Who?" Joey asked.

"Grant Bodine," Dawson said wryly.

"That slime-wad," Joey fumed. "That chauvinist, no-brain, no-neck Neanderthal." Just the thought of Grant Bodine set her off. Last year he’d heckled her throughout her entire oral presentation for history class, and she’d ended up braining him with a lunch tray in the cafeteria. Such a happy memory that was. "I always thought Tatiana was kind of a freak."

"I’ve never seen Pacey like this," Dawson said. "I think he was in love with her."

"I guess I’d better go talk to him," Joey said.

"Try to be reasonably sensitive," Dawson advised.

"I know, Dawson," Joey said. She rolled her eyes and turned away, striding toward the door.

Joey slowed down once she was outside. She spotted Pacey sitting on the end of the dock, staring out over the water. What in the world was she going to say to him? She knew she wasn’t really anyone’s idea of a sympathetic ear. She had too many rough edges.

Joey walked out to join Pacey. She could see his body tense as he realized that he was no longer alone. Joey sat down next to him, hanging her legs over the edge of the dock. He didn’t look at her.

Finally, she said, "I’m sorry, Pacey. I didn’t know."

Pacey shrugged. Joey wished she hadn’t sniped at him about Tatiana. It had probably felt like salt being rubbed into an open wound. He was hurting, and her big mouth hadn’t helped any.

"Do you want to talk?" Joey said.

Pacey glared at her. "To you? That’s the best joke I’ve heard all day." His tone was bitingly caustic.

Joey knew that she deserved his scorn. She and Pacey were constantly at each other’s throats, but it was all in fun. She got a charge out of their verbal swordfights, but the flip side was that he often thought she was being sarcastic when she tried to be serious with him.

"Yeah, I guess it would be a joke," Joey said. "My social life is nonexistent. I haven’t had a date since Dawson and I went to that crazy Christmas dance sophomore year and decided it would be too weird if we went out."

Pacey didn’t comment. He merely turned his face away once more.

Who did Pacey really have to talk to, anyway? Joey wondered. A pit filled with anacondas would probably be warmer and more nurturing than his family. He’d spent a lot of time with her and Dawson until he’d started dating Tatiana. He didn’t have any other close friends that she knew of. Joey couldn’t remember the last time that she’d talked to Pacey about anything deeper than grades, or movies, or the latest antics of his psycho-cop brother.

Was she really having warm and fuzzy feelings of sympathy for Pacey Witter, her favorite sparring companion? Yes, Joey decided, she was. She was so accustomed to her own long, analytical discussions with Dawson that she hated to think about anyone having to keep everything inside because they had no one to talk to. Maybe she could be that kind of friend to Pacey. After she managed to convince him that she wasn’t making fun of him.

Joey glanced at Pacey again. He sat tensely, arms straight, hands curled around the edge of the dock, neck stiff, staring out into space. His mouth was set in a thin line. She could tell that he wished she would just go away, so he wouldn’t have to hide his emotions.

Why was she so crappy at this stuff? She’d known Pacey for years, but so help her, she couldn’t think of one thing to say to him now to let him know that she cared. But wait a minute. Back in the days when she’d still thought her father was perfect, there’d been one specific thing he had always done to soothe her when she was upset. He’d used one hand to gently rub the back of her neck, taking her tension away and making her feel safe and protected. It was probably her only happy memory of her dad.

She could try it with Pacey. Of course, that would mean she’d actually have to touch him. Joey furtively made a face. C’mon, she bolstered herself. You stopped believing in the existence of cooties at least six years ago!

Joey edged closer to him. She started to raise her arm, hesitated, almost changed her mind, then forced herself to follow through. Her hand settled on the back of Pacey’s neck.

Pacey cast a quick, startled glance at her, then faced forward again. Joey began rubbing his neck, pressing with her fingers, massaging the tense muscles there. Her arm rested on his back. It wasn’t as unpleasant as she’d thought it would be to touch him. His skin was warm and, as close as she was, she caught a very faint whiff of aftershave.

Pacey’s shoulders slumped, and he bent his head slightly, allowing her easier access. Joey increased the pressure; she could almost see his muscles unknotting. Pacey sighed deeply and unclenched his hands from the wooden dock. Joey was mesmerized by his reaction. She was doing something to make him feel better, even if only physically. It was obvious that he was enjoying it; if he were a cat, he would’ve been purring.

Joey rubbed until her hand was stiff and tired, but she didn’t mind. Finally she stopped. Almost reluctantly, she let her arm slide down his back, breaking contact.

Pacey sat up straight. "That’s the nicest thing that’s happened to me all year," he said, a trace of his usual wry humor in his voice.

"It’s only March, Pacey," Joey said softly. She was suddenly feeling rather strange. Her pulse was beating in her throat, and she couldn’t quite catch her breath. Was this more spring fever?

"Thanks," Pacey said, smiling at her. It was half-hearted, but it was a smile.

Joey nodded, looking into his brown eyes. Nervously, she licked her lips. She couldn’t tear her gaze away. What, exactly, was going on here?

"Joey! I don’t pay you to sit around all day!" Bessie, calling her from the front door of the Icehouse.

"Just a minute!" Joey tossed the words over her shoulder, forcing herself to avert her eyes from Pacey’s. She stood up, very aware of Pacey watching her curiously. She felt clumsy and awkward. It would be her luck to fall headlong off the dock.

Joey took a breath and met Pacey’s eyes again. "See you later?"

"Sure," Pacey said. He still looked sad and hurt, but no longer furiously angry. "Bye, Joey."

Joey turned on her heel and walked back to the Icehouse, breathing a little easier. That little encounter had been interesting. Interesting and...strange. Joey paused in the doorway and looked back at Pacey thoughtfully.

Write to Angie!